Teacher : What is a conductor of electricity ?

Dull boy : Why ... er ...

Teacher : What is the unit of electric power ?

Dull boy : The what , sir ?

Teacher : What is the unit of resistance ?

Dull boy : Oh ... um ...

Teacher : Well done ! You've got all right .

  Dentist's epitaph in a Connecticut cemetery:

" When on this tomb you gaze with gravity ,

cheer up ! I'm filling my LAST CAVITY . "

A man called a specialist , and his secretary said the first appointment she could give him would be in three weeks.

"Three weeks ! " the man exclaimed , "I may be dead by that time ! "

"Oh , " said the secretary , " you can always cancel an appointment . "

There is some consolation in the fact that even if your dreams  haven't come true , neither have your nightmares .

   The young soldier was taking his girl on a tour of the army base . The couple approached a rifle range just as a group of trainees fired at a line of targets . The girl , frightened by the loud noise , flung herself into the soldier's arms.

Visitors and soldiers standing nearby smiled . The girl blushed and stepped back , saying , " I'm sorry . I didn't mean to get so frightened . "

" Oh , that's all right , " the GI said with a grin . "Now let's go and watch the heavy artillery . " 

A Shop selling vacuum cleaners and sewing machines :

Vacman  and  Bobbin.           

It was the common habit of the employees of a public relations firm to joke with the callers at their office telephone .  

One day , one of the jokers received  a stinging rebuke : "Do you know  who I am  ?  "

" No , " said the young man .

" I'm your boss ! "

" And do you know who I am ? " quickly answered the employee .

" No . "

" Excellent !" concluded the employee before hanging up .

When a man wants to kill a tiger he calls it sport ;

when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity .

A Tough Fight

General Fite stormed the fort of General Fort. Fite fought at Fort's fort before Fort could fight Fite, but Fite's unfortified fort enabled Fort to fight Fite better than Fite fought Fort . So Fite fought Fort and Fort fought Fite at Fort's fort and , boy , how Fort fought Fite ! If Fort had fought Fite before Fite's unfortified fort instead of Fort fighting Fite before Fort's fort then Fort and Fite might not have fought and there would be no need for Fort's fort and Fite's fight .

" Across the gateway of my heart

I wrote " No thoroughfare " ,

But love came laughing by , and cried ;

" I enter everywhere . "