WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER

Written by angel out of time

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Chapter 1

“Phew I’m glad that’s finished. Now for some well deserved sleep!” Bulma turned the lamp on her desk off and began to walk toward the door to her father’s lab. “Honestly I don’t know why I bother fixing those training bots for vegeta… it’s not like I’ll get any thanks just another ‘about time woman’ if I’m lucky”

Suddenly Bulma was stopped in her tracks as a loud voice boomed from somewhere inside the building.

“WOMAN!!”

‘Oh no it’s Vegeta! No doubt that stupid monkey man’s blown up something and wants me to fix it! Humph not this time Vegeta” Bulma thought to herself as she began to search the room for a pace to hide. Frantic she finally clambered inside one of her father’s inventions… he’d been working on it today but wouldn’t tell her what it was. It was probably quite dangerous to be messing around but it didn’t look finished… just a big metal box so far… ‘And it’s not like it’s switched on’ she thought.

“WOMAN GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!”

‘Well, now or never in I go!’ bulma crouched in the machine… there was plenty of space and she could probably hide out here for however long it took for Vegeta to give up ‘yeah right… vegeta…. give up. Never gonna happen he’s gonna find you and when he does you’ll look so ridiculous hiding in here’ “shut up!” she said out loud.

“Woman are you in there?”

‘Damnit he heard me!’ bulma desperately tried not to breath audibly or shuffle (the blood was starting to run out of her legs) as she heard vegeta enter the room cursing as he broke the handle ‘why does he always have to do that?’ bulma thought and then fought to suppress a giggle.

Vegeta meanwhile was getting gradually more irritated with her... ‘I know she’s hiding in here somewhere I can sense her’ his eyes scanned the dark room and stopped on a large metal box in the corner ‘a-ha’. He slowly turned around and closed the lab door… then silently began to sneak over to the box.

‘ He must have given up’ thought bulma ‘ that’s strange I just know he’s more persistent than that better stay put for a while in case it’s one of his tricks…’ just as she thought that she jumped out of her skin as vegeta appeared in front of her smirking with pleasure at the reaction he knew he would get.

Bulma screamed in shock and in pain vegeta reached up to cover his sensitive ears, breaking the machines control panel and at the same time causing it to whir to life. Realising what he’d done vegeta reached into the machine to grab bulma before it blew up. Bulma, however, was too busy screaming abuse at him to notice and moved further inside to avoid his grip.

“Woman listen to me we have to get out of here!”

“Oh no, no way mister I know what you’re up to you just want me to cook for you or something don’t you? Well newsflash! I’M NOT BUDGING!”

“ARE YOU INSANE?? THIS THINGS ABOUT TO BLO…”

A loud explosion from inside the machine which sent both of them sprawling into a nearby wall signified that it was too late.

Bulma awoke with blurry vision to the sound of her dad’s concerned voice and her mother’s hysterical one… it took her a moment to understand what either were saying.

“Bulma sweetheart are you ok??” her father said. She looked over to where he was standing… over her unconscious body?

CHAPTER 2

Bulma felt sick as she looked down at her hands ‘ white gloves? Oh dear Kami no…’ a realization dawned on her ‘that machine it, it switched our bodies… I’m in Vegeta’s body!!!’ She gasped and her parents turned to find the source of the sound.

“Ah Vegeta you’re awake I see, but then I don’t suppose the blast did you much damage. You saiya-jin really are a wonder…” Dr briefs trailed off as he saw the confused look in the prince’s eyes.

“Oh my. Are you ok vegeta, is something bothering you?? Why you’re probably just hungry, you poor dear… well I’ve got to help carry bulma to the infirmary right now but when I’m finished I’ll whip you up a feast” Mrs. briefs was babbling.

Bulma looked down at her body in shock at the mention of her name. ‘ I wouldn’t like to be there when vegeta wakes up to find that he’s stuck in a weak human female’s body’ she thought. Seeing the look of concern in her eyes Mrs. briefs piped up again.

“Oh. You’re worried about bulma aren’t you? Well she’ll be just fine. Just a nasty bump on the head…” she trailed off as she and Dr briefs left the room carrying vegeta, leaving a still too stunned to speak bulma kneeling on the floor of the lab clutching her aching head.

‘How am I going to explain this to dad?’ She began to pick herself up and marveled at how easy she found it. ‘Gosh Vegeta sure can take a beating!’ She collected her thoughts and chased after her parents down the corridor.

She caught up with them in the infirmary.

“Mom! Dad!” she shouted without thinking and then realized how weird it was to hear herself speak in vegeta’s low raspy voice… it gave her the creeps. Her parents turned to face her, understandably confused.

“Err we have a slight problem…”

“Why Vegeta I never realized you felt that way about us… I mean I’d always hoped that you adapt to life here and come to accept our friendship but this! This is so sudden… not that we mind of course but…” Mrs. Briefs was obviously gushing at the idea of having vegeta as a son. ‘Scary” thought bulma

“No mom, it’s not that… you really are my parents…. I’m BULMA!”

“Oh dear... you really did get knocked on the head quite hard didn’t you dear??” Mrs. Briefs giggled but Dr Briefs caught on.

“No dear unfortunately he’s, I mean she’s telling the truth… you might want to sit down while I explain this one…” Dr Briefs had a far away, tired look in his eyes as he explained to his wife. Bulma listened carefully to the technical details of how the machine worked… hoping to find a reversal method.

“…Unfortunately it was only in the development stages I didn’t even know it worked let alone how to reverse it…and since the machine was destroyed during the explosion…” Dr Briefs tailed off looking nervous while bulma began to fume… which was even scarier with her being in vegeta’s body. Unconsciously she had begun to glow with ki energy and looked like she was going to blow any second.

“SO OUT WITH IT! HOW LONG TILL THIS GETS FIXED??? OR AM I STUCK BEING AN EXTRA FROM PLANET OF THE APES FOREVER? HUH??”

“Calm down bulma, it should only take a week or two to get this mess all sorted out…”

“A WEEK?!?!”

“Well if you hadn’t been playing hide and seek in my machinery dear…”

He had a point. Bulma calmed a little and stopped glowing. ‘Ah well at least I get to bully vegeta for a change!’ an evil smirk began to spread across her face but quickly disappeared as she heard a sound come from her body…

Vegeta was waking up…

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Chapter 3- Vegeta wakes up!

Vegeta awoke to find himself in a bed facing the infirmary wall… he had been here many times before but somehow he felt odd ‘ that blast really wasn’t strong enough to make me feel like this. What is the matter with me, I can hardly move!’ he thought as a strand of blue hair fell across his vision. ‘ This is the woman’s hair… and it’s attached to my head!! What’s happened to me?’ he rolled over in bead to come face to face with a very concerned looking Dr and Mrs. Briefs accompanied by… HIMSELF??

He sat bolt upright in bed.

“What in Kami’s name is going on here?? Did you clone me in my sleep? I get it now, that woman tricked me. She lured me into the lab just so you could get me inside that ticking time bomb of a machine, knock me out and use my DNA to make a clone…”

Vegeta’s mind was racing, and this was the only explanation that seemed to make sense, he didn’t even notice that his voice had changed (among other things!).

“Oh get over yourself Vegeta! Why would we bother to clone you?” Bulma was furious… again. “Besides there’s no way I could have tricked you into coming to find me, frightening the life out of me and then breaking the stupid machine!!! Just shut up and listen for once and you might get a real explanation… but you’re not going to like it!”

Bulma took a deep breath and watched as Vegeta slowly looked down at himself.

“Oh dear kami no…”

“Oh, what a surprise that’s exactly what I said!!”

“How did this happen?” Vegeta was obviously in shock

‘That’s bound to turn to anger sooner or later’ thought Dr Briefs ‘which means I’d better get explaining while I have the chance’

“Well you see Vegeta” Dr Briefs began calmly “that machine you and Bulma destroyed was designed to switch the bodies of the people nearest to it…”

Dr Briefs explained the whole situation while Vegeta listened and Bulma nodded.

“…It could be two weeks before I can get this fixed. But of course I assure you it will be my top priority during that time!” he finished and waited for Vegeta’s reaction.

“TWO WEEKS?!?!”

“I don’t know what you’re shouting about this is all your fault!”

“What on earth are you babbling about woman? You were the one who hid in the damn thing and then you were the one who screamed and caused me to break it! Yet again your big mouth is to blame for all my troubles!!”

“Of course I screamed you snuck up on me on purpose you jerk!!!’

“Well if you hadn’t hidden from me…”

“Well if you didn’t treat me like a slave, who you can just call on day and night…”

Dr and Mrs. briefs knew from experience that this could take a while and so left them alone. Dr Briefs had to get started on a reversal machine and Mrs. briefs had to cook lunch.

‘With all that arguing they’re bound to work up an appetite!’ she giggled as she trotted toward the kitchen.

4 hours later

“This isn’t getting us anywhere Vegeta! Besides I’m hungry and I’m going to eat! Goodbye!”

“You’re not going anywhere without me! You think I trust you wandering around with my body??”

“Well of course you wouldn’t, it’s your most prized possession…”

A look of surprise spread across Vegeta’s (well really Bulma’s) face, as she appeared to agree with him.

“I mean it’s not like you have any brains to speak of!” Bulma began to laugh hysterically but stopped when she realized that Vegeta was attempting to drag her body out of bed and follow her

“On second thought I don’t trust you either… you’d better come with me. I’ll help you walk.”

“Oh no you won’t! I’m not having one of you’re idiot friends coming along and seeing me helping you to walk, cos that’s what they would see and there’s no way in this world that I’m going to let them here the truth about this situation!!”

“Fine fine, here you can use these crutches… that is if you don’t mind being seen walking with me!”

“That will have to do I suppose… but you’d better walk at least two paces ahead of me at all times!!”

“Whatever Vegeta” ‘god, get over yourself!’

“And you’d better not call me Vegeta in public either… or when I get my body back you’ll be wishing you’d hung on to it!!!”

“I get the point now lets get going, this saiya-jin appetite of yours is killing me!!”

They walked in silence to the kitchen. Along the way Bulma thought of many more problems this situation would cause during the next week or so.

How could they take showers? How could they dress themselves? She blushed at the very thought of Vegeta seeing her naked… he’d never let her live it down!! All in all Bulma thought this situation was a lot tougher on her ‘after all’ she thought ‘if Vegeta was shy about his body he wouldn’t spend his life in spandex shorts!’ and then there was the problem of what to do if her friends came to visit, she didn’t suppose it’d be that hard for her to pretend to be Vegeta… just don’t say anything and always stand of in the corner… but the thought of Vegeta trying to pretend to be her… she doubted her friends would ever speak to her again!!

This was going to be hard work…

CHAPTER 4- The First Day

They had reached the kitchen and Bulma was now eating faster than she had ever eaten before… nothing seemed to fill her up! Vegeta meanwhile couldn’t understand how just two sandwiches really did seem to be all he could eat.

Bulma decided that while he was sitting down eating was probably the best time to discuss this situation with Vegeta. Normally he was in his best moods when eating and she felt it was time to map out some ground rules for the time they spent in each other’s bodies.

“Err… Vegeta?” she said through a mouth full of chicken.

“What is it woman?”

“I think we have a few problems we need to discuss… this whole body swapping thing really is throwing up a lot of complications…”

“Yeah I know what you mean” he said thoughtfully

“You do?” Bulma was genuinely surprised

“Yes of course! How am I supposed to keep up with my training without my body??”

“You jerk! Trust you to think of your training at a time like this!” Bulma went on while Vegeta was ignoring her, quietly thinking of a solution to his problem.

“Hmmm” Bulma stopped and suddenly wondered what he was thinking, “Technically my body still belongs to me and therefore I should get to decide what you do with it…” Bulma instantly saw were this was leading.

“Vegeta if I’m going to have to train in the gravity machine then you have to go on a date with Yamcha!”

“You can’t make me!!”

“Vegeta as long as I have your body I can make you do whatever I want!” she smirked, for once she had the upper hand and she planned to enjoy it.

“You wouldn’t make me!!”

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Ok ok no training!” he sulked for a while and then got up to leave the table.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To watch the TV… unless you regard that as a violation of your privacy!”

“No that’s fine but you’d better stay there at least until I’ve finished eating!!”

“I don’t see what else I’d have to do… I can’t train and your body’s not hungry…”

“I get the point just go!”

45 minutes later Bulma finished eating. ‘I just hope I don’t get the munchies in the middle of the night’ she thought.

Vegeta was in the living room watching ‘Casablanca’

“Vegeta why are you watching that?”

“The TV guide said it had a war in it… instead there’s lots of whiney humans, I hope they all die in the end”

“Figures” she said exhausted and mentally slapping herself for even considering that Vegeta ‘prince of the emotionally retarded’ would watch a romance out of enjoyment.

‘ Then again he’s not making any move to change the channel’ she thought.

“Vegeta where are we going to sleep??”

By now it was mid afternoon and they’d been up all night what with the accident and the arguing, Bulma was exhausted.

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping” he replied

“Vegeta you’re not a saiyajin right now… you can’t just stay awake all week no matter how strong your will power is, you’ll just collapse!”

“Well what do you suggest idiot! And bear in mind that I will absolutely not leave you alone with my body!!”

Bulma gulped ‘here goes’ she thought

“Um… we could share a bed and tie our wrists together so neither of us can go wandering in the middle of the night with the other’s body…”

Vegeta looked very worried by the idea of sharing a bed with her

“Oh come on Vegeta it’s not like I’m gonna hit on my own body!!”

“It’s not that you loud mouthed fool!!!”

“Then there shouldn’t be a problem… unless you can’t sleep without your teddy bear?”

“Don’t be absurd! The prince of all saiyajin does not need such childish toys!!”

“Fine then we’re decided!!”

“Fine” ‘I come here to blow up the planet and I wind up sharing a bed with one of its puny inhabitants!!!’ Vegeta silently sulked to himself as they went off in search of handcuffs…

An hour later they had found some handcuffs just in time… Vegeta was more exhausted than he had ever been ‘stupid humans just can’t hack the pace I’m used to!! Ah well at least I’ll sleep through most of this hellish nightmare!!’ Bulma placed the key to the handcuffs on a chain around her neck.

“Which side of the bed do you want Vegeta?”

“It’ll have to be the right seeing as the handcuffs on my left wrist and I want to sleep on my back”

“Good thinking Vegeta!”

“Humph”

They got into the bed and Bulma switched off the lamp

“Nighty night Vegeta! I’ll wake you up in the morning when it’s time to take the cuffs off”

“Whatever woman”

“You know Vegeta I’m not technically a woman right now…”

“Fine! Whatever FREAKSHOW!”

‘ I suppose that’ll have to do’ she thought as she closed her eyes, finding it difficult to sleep with the problem of how to tackle the shower in the morning hanging over her head.

All in all they had a pretty eventless night (sorry if I disappointed anyone but you’ll have to wait a while for that!). They both fell asleep pretty quickly after a day of injuries and arguing.

The Next Morning…

“Vegeta?”

“Hmm?”

“VEGETA!!”

Vegeta jumped up nearly taking the left arm of Bulma’s body off as the weight of his own body dragged on it through the handcuffs attached to his wrist.

“Oh so it wasn’t a nightmare?” Vegeta groaned as Bulma reached under her spandex. She found the key and undid the handcuffs; with great difficulty considering only her left arm was free…

“No it was real and now we need to sort out how we’re going to shower and get dressed without coming across any awkward situations”

“Simple, you close your eyes while I undress, wash and dress my body, and then you do the same for me… that way we only see our own bodies…”

“Great idea Vegeta!!” For a second Bulma thought how nice it was of him to preserve her modesty like that… after all she knew he didn’t much care if she saw him

‘That is, providing he doesn’t peek!!’

“Humph” was his only answer.

After the showering and the fiasco as Vegeta complained about keeping his eyes shut for an hour while Bulma chose an outfit… ‘She could be doing anything while I just stand here like a fool…’ he thought… they went down stairs for some breakfast. Yet again Bulma was in the process of pigging out while Vegeta pushed away the last of 3 sandwiches claiming he just didn’t like how they tasted. And then the phone rang… the two stared at each other while it continued to ring and Bulma began to understand what Vegeta meant by sensitive hearing..

“Aren’t you going to get that?” she stated, a little annoyed.

“No matter what happens woman I will never be reduced to answering that contraption…”

“Aww come on Vegeta… I can’t answer it it’ll arouse suspicion if they hear you answering the phone!!”

Vegeta shook his head and Bulma knew she had lost

She picked up the phone and in her most Vegeta like voice barked

“Who dares to interrupt the training of the strongest saiya jin ever born???”

At this Vegeta smirked… he was pleased with her effort to keep his pride in tact. Suddenly though he heard her falter…

“…Oh its you yamch…I mean you pathetic human weakling!!!”

‘How am I going to carry this off? I can’t put Vegeta on the phone can I?’

CHAPTER 5- THE UNEXPECTED VISIT

‘There’s no way I can put Vegeta on the phone, it wouldn’t work he hates Yamcha…’

“HELLO? Vegeta be a good monkey and put Bulma on” came Yamchas voice on the other end of the phone

‘That wasn’t a very nice thing to say… even to Vegeta…’

“Look Vegeta, tell Bulma I haven’t got all day to play games with her pet psychopath, if she doesn’t want to speak to me she should tell me that herself…”

“I AM NOT HER PET!!! HOW DARE YOU??? For your information Bulma is…. Out shopping for groceries, yeah, and… and when she gets back I doubt she’ll want to speak to a looser like you….” Bulma couldn’t believe the nerve of Yamcha, implying that she’d sent Vegeta to do her dirty work, and being so mean to him ‘I wonder if he always speaks to Vegeta like this’ she briefly considered and then was woken up again by the voice on the end of the phone…

“Whatever ideas you’ve got about Bulma you can get rid of them! She’s mine and I’ll be damned if I’ll loose my girl to a freak like you…”

‘How dare he!’ a sickening realization dawned on Bulma ‘He won’t marry me but he won’t dump me cos he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either’

“You insufferable jerk...” was all she said quietly before she hung up the phone and turned to Vegeta.

“Did you hear any of that?”

Vegeta nodded silently

‘Oh no, now she’s going to ask me if I like her or some thing…. GREAT’

“Does he always talk to you like that?”

Vegeta wasn’t expecting that.

“Yes, he only shows me proper respect when you’re around… pathetic lap dog scared of his woman…”

“Yeah, you’re right” Bulma said softly and left the room to go watch some mind numbing television.

Somehow Vegeta sensed that she was best left alone right now… plus he preferred her company when he could get a good argument out of her, right now she was too…eerily calm.

Bulma settled on watching a documentary on lions… it had been a difficult choice, if someone were to walk in on her watching a soap Vegeta would never live it down and right now she was feeling more than a little sorry for him. She had always thought that Yamcha had been making a real effort to get on with Vegeta, now she saw it had all been a show for her. She felt stupid for a little while and then she decided if he came to the house she would go outside and literally kick him off her property.

‘That wouldn’t be too out of character for Vegeta and it also means I don’t have to deal with him for this next week at least… this whole mess might pass without any real glitches after all, what a relief’

Just then Vegeta entered the room having realized that now he was in Bulma’s body he was free to observe these ‘soaps’ that the woman was always watching without looking too ridiculous. But first he had to get the woman to leave the room… ‘How to do this tactfully?’ he thought for a minute and then barked

“Woman leave the room I need some time alone with the television!” ‘Nicely done Vegeta, next time thought don’t give the whole thing away!!’ he thought annoyed at himself, he just didn’t seem able to talk to this woman in a civilized way…

“I beg your pardon? This is my house and if I want to watch TV then I will!! What would be so bad about sitting with me and watching it anyway? It’s not like I’m watching soaps or anything!!” Vegeta froze for a millisecond considering whether he was really that transparent.

“Woman can you not for once do what I ask of you without giving me hassle?!?!”

“You didn’t ask me Vegeta you ordered me! If you can’t act like a civilized person I’m never going to treat you like one am I???”

“I am a prince! I shouldn’t have to say your stupid pleases and thankyous, it’s a chikyu tradition and I’m… not… HUMAN!!!”

Bulma’s ears were hurting from the sound of her own shrill voice… she would have to retreat for the moment… at least until the ringing stopped. But she couldn’t resist getting one last pop at him before she left the room-

“Prince of a dead race and a destroyed world… ooooh …IMPRESSIVE!!”

She regretted it as soon as she said it and didn’t dare to look back to see the reaction it got.

Vegeta was fuming, he knew his race was dead and he had no kingdom, but that wasn’t the point! Why couldn’t the woman see that what made him a prince was not any of those things… it was in the very blood pumping through his veins… that prestigious blood that would ultimately lead him to his goal of becoming the strongest fighter in the universe! And here he was trapped in a weakling body, unable to even threaten her, he just had to sit there and cope with this, this INSOLENCE!!!! He had to have revenge but how???

Just as he was thinking, Goku materialized right in front of him.

“Gosh Bulma you look angry! Has Vegeta been up to his tricks again?”

For a moment Vegeta felt like ripping his irritating head off… but then he saw his revenge…

“Kakka…I mean 'Goku’” Vegeta flinched at having to use his ridiculous earth name…

“Wha..?” Goku was confused; Bulma had known him all her life. Why would she suddenly call him kakkarot?

“I’m… sorry Goku I just hear Vegeta use it so often…”

“Hey that’s alright Bulma. I guess that’s my name too. Hey, maybe I should combine my two names and be called like kakkagoku or something… you think Vegeta’d like that??”

“ Err… I don’t know…”

“Or how about gokurot”

“Well that one kind of sounds like a fungal infection…” Vegeta replied, amused with himself

“Yeah but at least it doesn’t mean knickers!!” Goku snickered

‘Touché’ thought Vegeta and laughed along

“Ooh ooh I got another one! Vegeta sounds like a typa weed killer!!! Ha ha ha!!!” Goku was practically rolling around on the floor… Vegeta of course was furious

“HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE NAME OF THE ROYAL FAMILY OF VEGITASEI!!!”?

“Gosh Bulma, I didn’t know you were so attached to mine and Vegeta’s heritage!”

Vegeta instantly saw his mistake, stopped trying to throttle Goku and said

“I’m not it’s just… if Vegeta heard you say that he’d kill you and I don’t want you to die… cos you’re my….’friend’” Vegeta practically coughed the last word out.

“Gee it’s real nice of you to worry bout me Bulma” Goku scratched the back of his head absent mindedly “don’t worry though, I can handle Vegeta”

‘I’m going to kill you kakkarot!’ Vegeta silently chanted in his head

‘Gosh those two must really finally be getting it together… I’ve never seen Bulma get so defensive over someone before… at this rate trunks’ll be born early!!’

Goku grinned to himself and Vegeta wondered what the goofy expression was about until he remembered his revenge…

“Goku, would you like to spar with Vegeta?”

“Sure if he’s not busy!”

“oh Vegeta’s never too busy to spar… you know what he’s like…”

“Yeah you can say that again! But Bulma I thought you were still dead against me and Vegeta sparring since last time…”

“Aww what’s severe structural damage and a broken collar bone between friends? Go on ya big lug knock yourself out!” ‘literally’ thought Vegeta.

“Well if you say it’s ok! See ya later Bulma!!” Goku phased out again

‘He always has to show off with that instant transmittion trick! Since when is walking not good enough for a low class idiot like him? Ah well at least for once his being her serves a purpose’ an evil smirk spread across Vegeta’s face and soon turned to hysterical, evil laughter… until he got bored of that and decided to watch more TV

Meanwhile, Bulma was in her lab… looking over her fathers work on the reversal method while he was on his break. Goku materialized behind her and looked over her shoulder before chirping

“Hey Vegeta whatcha up to??”

“Aargh!” bulma screamed startled “gok.. I mean kakkarot you fool!”

“Sorry Vegeta I just didn’t know you were easily startled like that… you usually have nerves of steal” ‘something funny really is going on here..’ thought Goku

“That’s no excuse kakkarot!!”

“Hey like I said I’m sorry… anyway whatcha reading that had you so engrossed that you didn’t sense me coming?”

Bulma pushed the plans away from Goku’s vision

“Uh…. Nothing you’d want to read kakkarot, lots of numbers and advanced calculus.. Yeah”

“Hey! I’m not that dumb you know, let me see I like math!”

‘damn chi chi she’s probably been making HIM study too!! Think fast Bulma!!’

“Err.. But … there’s a picture of a needle on that page!!”

Goku screamed like a girl and backed away from the desk

“In that case I’d better get straight to the point so we can get outa here!”

“Well hurry up kakkarot I haven’t got all day! My time is precious you know!” ‘I’m really getting the hang of this being Vegeta thing!!’ she thought, proud of her achievements.

“Oh I’m sure you can guess why I’m here”

‘Oh dear kami no…’ she knew the only reason Goku ever came to capsule corps was to…

“You wanna spar??”

CHAPTER 6- Bulma’s Revenge

Before she could even answer him Goku had grabbed her arm and transported her to the gravity chamber.

“I don’t know about this Kakkarot…”

“Don’t worry Vegeta, Bulma said she didn’t mind if we blow stuff up, she was the one who suggested we should spar…”

“Oh he did, did he?”

“Err, Vegeta Bulma’s a girl…”

“Whatever!”

Bulma was furious, Vegeta had set her up!! She couldn’t possibly survive a spar with Goku… she didn’t even know how to gather ki!!

‘He must be hoping I’ll get beat up so he can heal and get stronger! That jerk!’

“Don’t you wanna spar Vegeta? Are you feeling ok?”

Like lightning, Bulma’s genius mind came up with the solution, and her revenge…

“Sure I’ll spar with you Kakkarot, but first I thought we could have a chat”

“Well gee Vegeta you know I’m always here if you wanna talk about anything at all!”

“I know Kakkarot, that’s why I need to tell you some things, I can’t trust anyone else. You’re the only saiya jin left…” Bulma tried her best to make Vegeta’s voice sound vulnerable.

“What is it Vegeta? Is it about Bulma??”

“First we should set the gravity to about 200G so we can be training while we’re talking, just standing around under that pressure should do us some good!”

“Good idea Vegeta!”

‘That should be enough to keep Vegeta out of here till I’ve had my little talk with Goku she suppressed an evil smirk as she watched Goku set the gravitron.

The pressure slowly rose and Bulma felt like she weighed a couple of tons!”

‘I’ve always wondered what this actually felt like, this is not so bad though, Vegeta’s body must be used to worse!’

“So what d’ya need to talk about Vegeta??”

“Hang on a minute,” Bulma realized what Goku had just said “what do you mean is it about Bulma? Have I ever felt the need to talk about her before?”

“Well… no. Never mind, I guess my intuition isn’t very good. What did you want to talk about?” Bulma felt slightly disappointed by the lack of gossip… but carried on.

“ There’s just some things I wanted to get off my chest. Kind of a list of things I need to say …can you just listen to them?”

“Sure Vegeta” ‘I wonder if he’s going to admit to liking Bulma now?’

“ First, I like kittens, small children and most of all I like you’re attitude Kakkarot”

“Gee thanks Vegeta” ‘did Bulma drug him or something?’ Goku was starting to get quite scared…

“Second I hate being prince of the saiyajin, it’s just too much pressure, from now on if people ask, you’re the prince ok?”

“I don’t know if I can do that for ya Vegeta that’s lying!”

“Ok ok fair enough but I have made my opinion clear have I not?”

“Loud and clear Vegeta! Gosh I’m surprised I always thought you loved your title, you’re always bringing it up!”

“Yes, because that is what’s expected of me Kakkarot, you don’t understand the pressure I’m under. Sometimes…”

“What Vegeta? Go ahead, you can tell me” Bulma made a show of being reluctant to tell him

“Sometimes I want to curl up in a little ball and cry, sometimes, all I really need is a hug…”

“Aww Vegeta don’t worry I won’t tell anyone, we all feel like that sometimes, and I don’t think you’re a sissy or anything…”

“Thank you Kakkarot” Bulma sniveled slightly before moving in for the killer blow…

“And Kakkarot?”

“Yes Vegeta?”

“I’d just like to say that coming second to you holds no shame for me, no shame at all, you are an honor to the saiyajin race!”

Goku stood in shock ‘this is really quite frightening, I think maybe I liked the old Vegeta better…’

“Thanks Vegeta!” he replied

“That’s ok Kakkarot, oh and by the way we have a huge tub of chocolate ice cream in the fridge if you don’t feel like training anymore”

Goku stopped what he was thinking and squealed

“Yey ice cream!!!”

Bulma shut down the gravitron and Goku raced into the house

‘Ah, Bulma you really are a genius’ she congratulated herself all the way to the living room, were Vegeta was watching an American soap, with his face pulled into the most evil smirk Bulma’s face was capable of. He turned to look at Bulma and realized, shocked that she didn’t seem to have broken a sweat and his body was still entirely in tact

“Is it possible that you managed to beat Goku??”

“Nope, I just told him there was ice cream in the freezer and watched him run…”

‘Damn she avoided my revenge! Ah well at least I got to watch ‘as the world turns’ in peace’ Vegeta thought to himself

Bulma, meanwhile had decided not to let Vegeta know about her revenge just yet, it could wait till Goku brought it up in a sparring match, that way he would be twice as shocked. Bulma grinned as she could already imagine his face; he looked so cute when someone actually managed to phase him… ‘Ok stop that now Bulma, honestly I do wonder about my own sanity” she concluded that some of Vegeta’s self love was still hanging around in his body and influencing her thoughts… how that was possible she didn’t know.

She took a seat next to Vegeta and suddenly remembered her guilt about her previous comment… ‘Hmmm perhaps I should apologise for that, at least then he might not send Goku after me again tomorrow…’

“Err… v.. I mean ‘Bulma’” she corrected remembering that Goku was probably still in the kitchen “about what I said to you before”

“Yes?”

‘How can I apologise without him getting even more annoyed?’ Bulma knew that if Goku heard Vegeta apologise to her, she really would be in trouble when he got his body back…

“ I wish for you to forget that I said it, I did not mean it…”

“I get you point ‘Vegeta’ but stop now before you do even more damage!”

“He he he” Bulma laughed nervously. At least she’d done the right thing

‘Hmmm, perhaps the woman has learned her lesson. I see no need to punish her further’

They sat in front of the TV for an hour until both were hungry, as if by magic (or incredibly good intuition) Mrs. Briefs appeared

“Are you two dears hungry?

“Yes!” they said in unison

“Ok dinner’s on the stove, come into the kitchen it’ll be nearly done by now…”

They followed her to the kitchen where they found Goku, on the floor clutching his stomach, with chocolate around his mouth. In his hand was a spoon and next to him was an empty ice cream vat.

“Oh my Goku, you are silly! Did you eat all that??” Mrs. briefs practically sang the words

“Yeah” he groaned

Vegeta began to feel very nervous, what with Bulma’s mother in the room with Kakkarot, his secret could be outed any second. He had to make Kakkarot leave, and fast

“Hmmm Goku sounds like you’ll need a shot for the pain” he said, pleased with his own genius.

“What A SHOT? I’M OUTA HERE!”

And with that he disappeared and Vegeta and Bulma’s secret was safe, for now.

CHAPTER 7- Yamcha returns

The next day, Bulma and Vegeta had entirely forgotten about their argument and were mind numbingly bored.

“Grrrr, I hate being in your body woman! I want to train!! I’m slowly losing grip on my sanity… how many hours has it been now? A hundred?”

Bulma looked at her watch and slurred lethargically

“ 53… hours… and… 23… minutes…. Approximately”

“Why are you talking so slow? Are you trying to aggravate me or is it just something that comes naturally to you??”

“Neither…I was…just… trying… to…. Waste … some…time.”

“AAAARGH! I can’t take it anymore! I need something to do NOW!!!”

“We could play a board game”

“What’s a board game woman?”

“You know, you’ve got a little card board matt with little spaces drawn on it, and cute little pieces that you move…”

“That sounds utterly pointless”

“Well in a way that’s kind of the ‘point’ of a board game, you’re meant to play them when you really don’t have anything better to do”

Vegeta shuddered

“I hope my life never gets that bad that I have nothing better to do than play pointless games with a crazy witch like you!!!”

Bulma wasn’t really offended by his remark; she could understand why he’d be cranky. She was supposed to have a big meeting at capsule corp. today; this body-switching thing was turning into a real bummer.

Ten minutes later Vegeta realized his life had gotten ‘that bad’ and they sat down to play monopoly. The only problem was, Vegeta didn’t appear to understand the concept of ‘money’

“What exactly is the point of these little pieces of paper” to Vegeta they vaguely resembled tissues, he hoped that Bulma wasn’t planning on crying if she lost…

“That’s the pretend money Vegeta”

“Money?”

“You know the stuff you buy stuff with”

“I’ve never come across it before”

“What do you mean, you’ve seen me shop..”

“Yes, I’ve always wondered about that, I thought they gave you stuff for free”

“What? Why?”

“Because whenever we went to pay for stuff, you handed them a piece of plastic and then they hand it back, you don’t give them anything …”

“Wait a minute, you’re joking right? This is one of your jokes were if I believe you you’ll laugh and call me gullible!! I mean come on Vegeta even Goku knows what money is and he can hardly tell a man from a woman!”

“Don’t be ridiculous woman”

Vegeta looked ashamed, he felt like the village idiot…he felt like … Kakkarot… he had a sudden urge to shower…

“But, you used to sell the planets you purged to frieza…”

“Yes, but there was no ‘money’ involved in our dealings”

“What did you trade them for then? What did the saiya jin get out of it?”

“Our lives”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the whole ‘working for an evil space pirate’ deal”

“Humph, airhead”

“Me? An airhead?” Bulma roared, “look whose talking Mr. nice muscles shame about the vocabulary that only stretches to variations on three phrases-

‘Woman I want food’

‘I am the prince of the saiyajins’

And, my personal favorite ‘I will beat Kakkarot’

I mean, come on Vegeta…”

Vegeta was in a quiet rage and then he exploded.

“ENOUGH!!! I’VE HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE! DAMN YOU DAMN YOUR FEABLE EXCUSE FOR A BODY AND DAMN MONOPOLY!!!”

And with that he stormed out of the house to go cool down in the capsule corps grounds.

‘It would make it a lot easier to keep my composure if I could still blow things up’ he thought. The fact that if things really started to drive him mad he could simply remove them from this dimension had always calmed Vegeta. If someone annoyed him he could just find comfort in the fact that, if it were worth the effort, he could just blast them and be done with it, simple but effective.

He was so deep in thought that, as he was turning the corner, he bumped straight into someone coming the other way

“Watch where you’re going baka” he said under his breath and was about to carry on walking when the person grabbed him by the arm and literally spun him around to face them.

“What is the meaning of…” Vegeta started outraged but was cut off by the other person’s lips on his.

Vegeta used every ounce of strength in Bulma’s body to remove them, and then saw whom they belonged to….

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!”

Yamcha stood before him, grinning like an idiot. Vegeta lost it, he was scarred for life, he was mortified, he was down on his knees on the verge of tears..

“Oh dear kami, take me now, have mercy!” he screamed at the sky in agony “Spare my last ounce of sanity and send me to hell!!!”

Yamcha’s expression changed to confusion.

“Bulma… will you just get up off the floor and hear me out?”

‘I must leave this place’ Vegeta thought in a daze. He started walking away only to be followed

“Listen, I know why you’re angry at me”

“No, you haven’t the faintest idea!”

‘Oh the irony’ thought Vegeta ‘he’s just scarred me for life and now he’s going to apologise to me for missing a date with the woman or something equally inconsequential’

“No really Bulma… I get it this time! I understand”

“Listen to me you idiot! There is nothing, nothing in this world that you could say to me that would make me feel anything but the urge to pull your still beating heart from your chest and show it to you right now so LEAVE ME IN PEACE!!”

Yamcha didn’t flinch; he was determined to get his message across. They reached the door to bulma’s house. Inside, Bulma heard them arguing and went to the open window to listen in.

“You’re upset because I haven’t proposed yet aren’t you?” said Yamcha

“Um, well, now you come to mention it….. NOOOOO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Bulma was almost crying with laughter, ‘poor Vegeta, this must really be hurting his pride… but it’s sooo funny’

“Bulma…” Yamcha tugged at vegeta’s arm while he scrabbled at the door, too preoccupied to look for a key he started to pound on it screaming

“Let me in!!! For the love of god woman let me in!!!”

Just as Bulma opened the door Yamcha blurted it out

“Bulma, I love you, marry me?”

CHAPTER 8- will Vegeta marry Yamcha?

Bulma had a terrible sinking feeling as Yamcha’s words reached her ears. She did what she assumed Vegeta would want and moved forward to grab Yamcha and escort him off her property

“No Vegeta I can handle this” was the response she didn’t expect to hear from Vegeta

‘Oh kami what can I do?? It’s all up to Vegeta now’

“Yamcha” Vegeta started “I know you think that that’s what I want but I’m afraid I can’t give you an answer right now”

Yamcha was about to protest when Vegeta held up his hand to stop him

“I know what you’re going to say Yamcha. I know you’re serious about your offer, it’s just that… I’m not feeling myself recently. It wouldn’t be fair for me to give you an answer now because I don’t know what I, Bulma, want.” Vegeta said softly

“So what do you need some time or something?”

“Yes Yamcha, about a week should be enough, during that time please do not attempt to contact me, believe me, you’ll only confuse both of us.”

“Well I suppose that’s fair. I mean you have been behaving kinda wacko recently…”

Bulma couldn’t believe her ears; Vegeta had just solved a problem without using his fists… and with Yamcha!!!

“…I mean what was all that ‘dear kami take me now, spare my sanity send me to hell’ stuff about?” Yamcha said confused

Bulma had to stifle a laugh, ‘sounds like Vegeta had a little melodrama out there’

“As I said I’ve been a little… off colour recently…” Vegeta stated

“Well ok I guess I’ll see ya in a week then!” Yamcha said cheerfully and reached up to kiss Vegeta on the cheek. Vegeta backed away and shuffled inside the house explaining quickly-

“I can’t do that right now Yamcha, you understand, one week ok?”

“Yeah sure” Yamcha said, slightly hurt. Vegeta smirked and left Bulma to close the door

“Look Vegeta” Yamcha started before she could get the door shut “I don’t want you influencing her decision right? You’d better leave her alone…”

“God you are an idiot! Why would I bother? Why don’t you give your woman a little credit? SHE’S GOT A MIND OF HER OWN YA KNOW!!!”

“Yeah whatever Vegeta, just remember you’ve been warned” and with that Yamcha stalked away having proven his macho point for the day. Little did he know that he had just had a bigger influence on Bulma’s decision than Vegeta ever would

“Ew as if I’d marry a jerk like that! ‘Ug me big man, you woman cook. Ug!’” Bulma complained as she shut the door outraged at yamcha's behavior.

Meanwhile vegeta was sitting on the couch, his whole body tense muttering incomprehensibly to himself

“ Gosh, what happened out there Vegeta??”

“Woman I never want to talk about this afternoons events ever again!!!”
”Ok touchy!! Although I would like to point out that you just solved a problem without blasting anyone, perhaps you’re learning something from this experience Vegeta…”

“Oh I’m learning lots of things woman. For one, being a weakling sucks, you have to try to reason with stupidity instead of just doing everyone a favour and removing it from this planet!”

“Now now Vegeta, don’t be so negative. Besides his name’s not stupidity, it’s YAMCHA.” Bulma grinned as she actually made Vegeta smirk.

“It appears that you have learnt something also woman…”

“Oh really Vegeta what’s that?” she said still smiling

“How to think more like me.”

“Well there’s a lesson I’ll be unlearning as soon as I get my body back…”

She replied as she went to the kitchen for a mid afternoon snack..

Later that night…

“Woman you know I got the harder end of this deal, I get a weakling who I hate making puppy dog eyes at me and you get to sit around and watch television!!”

“That is so not fair Vegeta, I had Goku almost trying to kill me yesterday, the only reason I seem to be having an easier time than you is because I’m dealing with it better!!!”

“Are you trying to suggest that I can’t DEAL with living your life? I handled your boyfriend with ease, something you’ve never managed after 16 years with the idiot!!”

“Yeah you might have dealt with it Vegeta but you haven’t quit whining about it yet!! I mean what’s so awful? How could you even compare what happened with you and Yamcha to Goku nearly flattening me??”
Vegeta thought about this for a moment,

‘I know that my experience was far worse, however I cannot win this argument without telling that loud mouthed fool about what… happened’ Vegeta shuddered as the flash backs came, but then managed to compose himself enough to reply

“Fine woman, you’re right you’ve got it worse than me…”
”Wha…?” Bulma was confused

Just then Dr Briefs entered the room

“Hello Bulma, Vegeta”. He said, looking stressed.

“What’s up dad?” Bulma said enthusiastically

“Erm…” it took a moment for Dr Briefs to adjust to talking to his own daughter in the body of the man he feared most “well I’m afraid we have a business problem dear…”

“What is it?” Bulma said hoping to solve the problem and feel more like her old self again.. She missed being useful…

“Well dear, that meeting you were supposed to have today had to be rescheduled as you know… however as my secretary doesn’t know about your little problem she rescheduled it to tomorrow… but I can’t be there tomorrow so those customers will have to be left with a trainee. They’re not exactly our most important customers, but they won’t be impressed at being called to meet you and getting a trainee, especially after the meetings already been postponed once!!” he sighed and went left the room stroking scratch and mumbling about “bad business practice”

‘Hmmm’ thought Bulma ‘ it’s such a shame that I can’t fix this. It’s an easy enough presentation to follow, a trainee could do it but they want to see me just so they can tell how important they are to us…ugh! It’s so annoying I mean a trained monkey could deliver that presentation’ suddenly Bulma had a flash of inspiration

“A trained monkey, hmmmm “ she said out loud eying the current occupant of her body thoughtfully, unnerving him more than he’d be willing to admit.

CHAPTER 9- educating Vegeta

“What do you want woman? Why are you staring at me like that? Surely you should be sick of looking at your own face the amount of time you spend in front of the mirror, I know I’m sick of it…”

“Don’t play dumb with me Vegeta, you know what I want and that pathetic attempt to distract me by insulting me won’t work!”

‘Damn’ thought Vegeta

“Woman it is not my job to save your father’s business dealings from failure”

“Oh I’m sorry Vegeta, I forgot you’ll be too busy tomorrow with your real job… sitting around bored out of your mind insulting people and making my life harder!!”

“Whether or not I have better things to do is not the issue here woman! The fact is that I don’t want to spend one more minute having to pretend to be you! I’d rather just keep a low profile until this Freudian nightmare is over!”

“Well, fair enough…” Bulma decided to change her approach, if reasoning won’t work manipulation and blackmail would have to do “I mean I suppose that’s understandable, after what happened between you and Yamcha this afternoon”

“Yes woman that is exactly my point…” Vegeta began and then froze, realizing he’d been tricked

“And what exactly did happen that I didn’t see Vegeta??”

“Nothing!!”

“Well, I suppose I’ll just have to ask Yamcha about it when I get my body back and call him to reject his proposal…”
”Fine!!!” Vegeta screeched, “I’ll do this stupid presentation thing! But after this you WILL NOT mention this afternoon EVER AGAIN! Have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal” Bulma replied triumphantly and wandered of to go tell her dad that she had saved the day yet again.

‘Wait a minute’ thought Vegeta ‘did she just say she was going to reject that weakling? Why? She’s been complaining about them not being married yet every day since I got here. Humph, I can’t be bothered to work this one out, crazy fickle woman’

In Dr briefs’ lab the next morning …

“ So you see this shouldn’t be any trouble at all. I’ve prepared the presentation you just have to read it out,” Bulma said as if she were talking to a small child

“Humph” said Vegeta

“The difficult part comes when they start asking questions”

“Just get on with it woman, and stop patronizing me, I am capable of speaking formally to a room full of people! I’m royalty for kami’s sake, it is in my blood to command armies and address nations…”

“Yeah yeah whatever Vegeta I get the point. Any way on with the questions I think they’ll ask…”

Vegeta fumed but listened any way, he didn’t want to make a fool of himself and he’d do just about anything to avoid Bulma finding out about… *the incident*

“First” Bulma continued “they’ll probably ask when we’ll have the product ready”
”what exactly is the product?”

“It doesn’t matter, the guys you’ll be talking to are just on the business side they don’t even care what the product is so you’ll only hear it referred to as ‘the product’ or ‘your services’.”

“I wanted to know out of curiosity woman, if, by pure chance, they ask me something about it I don’t want to blow the whole thing do I? Or would you like the world to hear Bulma briefs announce that she is a man trapped in a woman’s body?”

“Ok ok, the product we’re developing a new high tech…um… cuflup…” she pretended to cough over the last part, Vegeta realized she was hiding something

“I beg your pardon?”
”Ok ok it’s a cat flap all right! We’re selling high tech doors for domestic animals!!”

Vegeta laughed cruelly

“So this is what you and your father do all day with your great big IQs!!”

“Yeah yeah say what you like Vegeta, everyone loves buying little gadgets for their pets, they thinks it’s cute! And my dad loves animals, he’s never without his cat…”

Vegeta was still laughing

“And besides” Bulma continued “it earns us a lot of MONEY”

Vegeta, reminded of his embarrassment at not knowing the meaning of this word just this morning, fell silent

“Finally!” Bulma sighed, “now can we please get on with this?” she didn’t wait for an answer

“So as I was saying, the first thing I think they’ll ask is when they’ll be ready”

“The cat flaps?” Vegeta couldn’t resist

“Yes Vegeta the cat flaps.” Bulma was really beginning to hate seeing him pull her face into that smirk. “Anyway, if they ask that tell them two weeks”

“Will they be ready then?” Bulma was starting to get really annoyed. Vegeta didn’t really care if the cat flaps were ready, as far as he was concerned the damn cats could give themselves a concussion trying to break their owner’s door down ‘but if she’s going to patronize me, I might as well act like a child’ he thought

“Vegeta, they’ve been ready for weeks, we just stall to make them think that we put a lot of thought and development into this project”

“I see” Vegeta was starting to like big business, manipulating people was always fun

“The next thing they’ll probably ask is whether they can see a sample, tell them they can schedule a demonstration next week.”

Vegeta nodded

“If I know these people they’ll probably then question the quality of our goods to try to force a sample out of you, if they do that, you have my permission to throw a hissy fit and remind them that they’re dealing with capsule corp., not some two bit outfit, and that we own half the world and that includes their houses”

“So I threaten them?”

“Always works for me”

“This sounds like fun”

“Yes, but it’s serious, remember that, if you screw this up my dad’ll have to work much harder on this project, therefore postponing our little solution.”

“Enough said woman, I won’t be taking any chances”
”ok. Finally the only other thing they’ll probably have to say is something about negotiating their contract, simply tell them that the only person who has authority in that area is my father and that they’ll have to fax him their query”

“That all?”

“Not quite, I still have to tell you a few things about the people we’re dealing with…” Bulma then realized the time, it was 9:30 and the meeting was at 10.

“Ok we’ll have to make this quick, I still have to pick what you’re going to wear! Ok so, the most important thing I suppose is that when you’ve finished, a big fat guy, that’s their boss, will offer you a cigar, you must take it, even if you don’t smoke it you still have to take it ok? Oh and this one guy, he’s kinda short and has a lisp, don’t even try to understand him, it’s futile. Finally I have to warn you about hasslehoff…”

“Who? If you want me to learn to pronounce that name, forget it!”
”No, that’s not his real name, he just looks like a guy on the TV with that name, and I don’t know his real name. He’s a slime ball he’s always got his top buttons undone even though he has this disgusting thick mesh of graying hair on his chest and a beer gut”

“I’ve been to planets were that’s considered attractive…”
”That is a blatant lie”

“Of course”

“Anyway, he always… oh kami no time for that now! You have to get ready its 9:45!”

‘Humph, whatever she had to say couldn’t have been that important, and I’m not easily shocked’ thought Vegeta

But he was wrong…

CHAPTER 10- The Dreaded Hasslehoff

Vegeta was in a rush, it had taken Bulma 20 minutes to find something suitable for this meeting and it had taken Vegeta 10 minutes to put it on. He was wearing a dark blue skirt suit, which didn’t look a thing like anything else in Bulma’s wardrobe. For a start it covered every single square centimeter of flesh and was about as attractive as a straight jacket, it felt like a straight jacket too, the material was so stiff

‘Gosh I look awful’ thought Bulma ‘but I just don’t know if it’s enough to deter Hasslehoff! Well, I tried my best’ Bulma thought

They rushed through the corridors of the capsule corp. and finally reached the conference room 15 minutes late.

“Good luck…err…’woman’”

“Humph” said Vegeta as he walked through the door

Bulma rushed off to the security guard’s room were she planned to watch the whole meeting, she couldn’t just relax at home knowing Vegeta was dealing with these people…

She reached the room just in time to see Vegeta begin the presentation…

Vegeta opened the door to the conference room to be greeted by six men, all in what appeared to be the same gray suit, except for one who stood out in a vibrant red shirt which appeared to have a few buttons missing and painfully tight leather trousers…

‘Must be Hasslehoff’ thought Vegeta

“Ah good afternoon miss briefs, late again I see, they must be keeping you on your toes” Vegeta turned to see a giant walrus of a man sitting at the head of the table with a huge grin on his face

“Oh, can’t complain…” replied Vegeta “well actually, I could but I won’t” he corrected

This earned him a good-humored chuckle from most of the room, except for Hasslehoff who merely winked when he caught Vegeta’s eye

Vegeta shuddered and continued with the presentation. It went well, Bulma was obviously very experienced at this sort of thing, their attention didn’t seem to waver from him for the entire thing ‘then again’ Vegeta thought ‘they could merely be ogling the woman’

“And so that gentlemen concludes my presentation” Hasslehoff applauded him, earning a strange look from almost everyone in the room, but he didn’t seem to mind, his attention was fixed on ‘miss briefs’

“Very impressive miss briefs” he said, like vegeta’d just jumped through a hoop for his amusement

“Thank you” Vegeta reluctantly replied

“Oh your more than welcome” he replied sleazily

“Oh do be quiet!” said the walrus man “Miss. briefs please continue”
”I was just going to open the floor to questions” Vegeta replied somewhat grateful to the fat guy for intervening, he was starting to feel nauseous

Bulma mean while had just remembered that she forgot to warn Vegeta about Hasslehoff and watched in horror as Vegeta sat down in the only available space, at the head of the table with Hasslehoff on his left…

‘This is not going to be pretty’ thought Bulma in despair

Back in the conference room the questions had started

“Miss briefs, as you know we’re going to need a date for the project’s completion for marketing purposes” said one non-descript guy in a suit, next to the fat guy. As Vegeta was listening to this, he felt something brush his leg…

He looked down confused and scratched the ‘itch’ on his leg

“Miss briefs?”
”Uh… yes?”
”Is something the matter you seem distracted?”
”Oh no I’m fine, just an itchy leg that’s all. To answer your question the product should be ready in two weeks time”
”two weeks?” Said another non-descript guy in a suit this time on the right hand side of the fat guy…

As Vegeta waited for the second guy to finish his objections he felt it again only this time it definitely wasn’t an itch, it stroked his leg up and down twice and then stopped

‘What the..?’

“Miss briefs?”

“Um yeah, I’m afraid it really can’t be any earlier, you simply cannot rush the creative process and quality needs time.”
”will sthirley w’sthud be abe do sthe a dimonsthtraton?”

This time Vegeta ignored the mysterious leg rubbing and pondered how it was possible for one man to have so many speech impediments ‘a bit of a lisp, yeah right thanks a bunch woman’

“I’m sthorry, I mean I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that…”
”He said we want to see a sample” said a third man in a suit, obviously used to his co-worker’s *accent*

“Well I can certainly schedule a demonstration for you some time next week, I’ll get my secretary right on it”

‘What is that?’ thought Vegeta as he felt his foot being gently batted about under the table. Suddenly it clicked. He looked at Hasslehoff, who winked at him.

‘Oh dear kami… twice in two days? What are you trying to do to me?’

The fat guy, meanwhile had been trying to ask how exactly he could be sure that they had even started working on this product when he saw Vegeta’s face drop suddenly

“Miss briefs is something wrong? Seriously, if you weren’t feeling well then we could have re- scheduled again…”

“I’m not ill” Vegeta replied bluntly

Bulma saw that Vegeta was about to explode ‘I recognize that expression even on my own face! Damn and he was doing so well!!’
”Then what on earth is causing you to be so distracted miss briefs, I don’t take kindly to being ignored!” the walrus huffed

“YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S WRONG? YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?” Vegeta snapped, this was just too much.

‘Oh no here it comes’ thought Bulma and closed her eyes refusing to watch her dad’s company’s good name dragged through the mud

“Yes miss briefs I do” replied the walrus without hesitation

‘HASSLEHOFF HERE IS WHATS WRONG!!” the younger men in suits giggled “I DON’T THINK IT’S VERY PROFFESIONAL TO PLAY FOOTSY WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT OF A COMPANY THAT MAY BE VITAL FOR YOUR COMPANY’S SUCCESS!!!”

“Footsy?” the walrus was temporarily confused “Reginald is this true?”

Even more giggles erupted as Hasslehoff’s real name turned out to be funnier than his nickname

“I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about uncle frank! I was just listening to the meeting!!” Reginald whined
”YOU LYING TOAD!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE THAT JUST BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN???” Vegeta was outraged, just because he was a woman at the moment didn’t mean this idiot could just walk all over him!

“ I don’t know what she’s talking about! Honestly uncle frank!!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? Well then” Vegeta changed tack “what is THIS??”

As he said this Vegeta pulled Reginald’s leg out from under the table exposing his bare foot to those assembled. The suits gasped as the walrus turned purple

“REGINALD!!”

“But uncle!”
”GET OUT YOU ARE FIRED YET AGAIN!! I KNEW I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LISTENED TO MY HALF WIT BROTHER WHEN HE RECOMMENDED YOU!!”

Reginald stalked out sulking and muttering under his breath about ‘the crazy blue haired hag…’

“Miss briefs, I cannot begin to tell you how ashamed I am of my nephew. Please forgive me and let us continue our meeting”

“Of course” Vegeta smirked.

Bulma meanwhile had unplugged her ears and finally looked back at the screen

“Is it over?” she whispered, terrified of finding out exactly how much trouble Vegeta had caused.

She was shocked to see that no blood had been spilt and the meeting appeared to still be continuing in a civilized way. ‘Wait a minute… where’d Hasslehoff go??’ now Bulma was really confused…

CHAPTER 11- ACHOO!

Bulma and Vegeta walked together back to the house, Bulma stared at him in awe

“did I spill something on ‘your’ face woman?” Vegeta was in a light hearted mood, and he knew that everyone was going to be extra willing to do his bidding for the next couple of days ‘all due to my genius’ Vegeta thought smugly to himself

“oh…” Bulma realized she had been staring, she knew Vegeta didn’t like that “I’m sorry Vegeta it’s just…”

“what woman?” Vegeta said, impatient for the gratuitous praise to begin

“ you carried off that meeting, you gained the customer’s respect AND you got rid of Hasslehoff. I take back every ‘stupid monkey’ comment I ever made…”

Vegeta smirked but did not reply, knowing that there was more to come…

“you were right, you are coping with this well, I wish I was this good at living my life…” a single tear slid down Bulma’s cheek. Vegeta didn’t notice this however, he just knew he would burst out laughing or something if he forced himself to look the woman in the eye while she apologized.

They reached the house and Bulma ran inside to wash her face before Vegeta noticed her sadness. Vegeta meanwhile sat down on the couch and finally replied

“I knew that one day you would come to see me as the superior being I have always been. I handled both your boyfriend and your clients effortlessly…”

Bulma sank down into a chair at the kitchen table and tried desperately to keep her sobs in.

‘am I really that useless that even Vegeta has better people skills than me? Oh kami I really must be unbearable!!’ at this one more tear streaked down her face before she wiped it away and prepared her witty come back

strutting into the living room she replied

“Vegeta, I merely said that you aren’t as stupid as I previously thought, I didn’t say that you weren’t still a selfish snob with a severe attitude problem and a hairstyle that could make a porcupine weep with laughter!! Although I will admit one thing, Yamcha does appear to be more attracted to you than me!” after this she stormed off back into the kitchen, pleased with her cover up

‘I knew it wouldn’t last, but I made the best of it while it did’ Vegeta thought, still pleased with himself. Somehow he could tell Bulma hadn’t meant what she said, besides he didn’t care. What did he care if she thought he had an attitude problem? The hair thing kind of stung though…

the next morning Vegeta awoke with the sun on his face and what felt like storm clouds in his head.

‘what on earth is wrong with the woman’s feeble body now?’ suddenly Vegeta felt an itching in his nose, he didn’t know what it was so tried to calmly wait for it to go away. However he became increasingly alarmed as the feeling intensified, demanding release. Then it got it…

“A…A…A…ACHOOO!!!” Bulma’s high-pitched voice rung as Vegeta sneezed for the first time in his life.

‘where have I seen that happen before? Ah yes on the television, what was the cause again? Oh no…’ Vegeta realized what was going on ‘anything but that…’. He desperately tried to convince himself that there was just dust in the air, until he felt the sensation come again

“ACHOOOO!” Vegeta sniffed and then froze as he realized that his sneeze had woken Bulma…

he watched, not breathing to see if she had realized what had just happened… her eyes opened slowly and she got up almost automatically. Vegeta felt another sneeze coming on, there was no way he was going to be confined to a bed for the rest of the week!

“quick womad, rebove de handcufps!”

“what’s wrong with your voice? Well my voice, you know what I mean!”

Vegeta didn’t want to reply and add to her suspicion instead he removed the key from around her neck and undid the handcuffs himself, then ran to the kitchen

“musd ged vitabin C!” he muttered desperately searching for an orange, or any kind of fruit for that matter…

“what did you just say?” Bulma muttered sleepily following him

“nothink!” Vegeta snapped as he found a huge bag of oranges and ran, cradling it like a sick child, to hide in a closet before Bulma realized what was going on.

“Strange, very strange” said Bulma. She had gotten used to allowing Vegeta to roam freely with her body. perverted thoughts did not seem to have entered his mind…

‘perhaps he’s gay’ thought Bulma, briefly trying to imagine Vegeta kissing Yamcha

“nah, that’d never happen” she dismissed the thought as quickly as it came and went to help her dad with his new ‘body-swapping reversal machine’. They’d have to work out a snappier name for it another time…

as she walked down the halls though, she heard a muffled rustling in one of the broom closets.

‘Hmmm, strange’ she thought ‘the janitor is only here on Sundays… oh no!’ she thought ‘it must be a rat!! Eww!’ she decided to walk on the other side of the hallway while passing the cupboard. ‘dad can deal with that later’ she thought.

She reached her destination finally and found her dad bent over, looking back and forth between a set of blueprints and a large pile of heavy parts.

“hey dad!” she said, as cheerfully as she could make vegeta’s voice sound

“hmm? Oh hi… sweetheart” Dr Briefs shuddered almost visibly

“whatcha doing? Can I help?”

“actually you can, I can’t possibly lift half those parts on my own and the assembly of the smaller ones would be a lot faster with an extra pair of capable hands”

“I don’t know dad, these are vegeta’s hands we’re talking about here, my mind is capable but my current body is only used to blowing things up! But I’ll try anyway” she smiled

they set to work, Bulma had fun lifting heavy chunks of metal with an almost humorous amount of ease. She made a few clumsy mistakes in assembling smaller parts though, she just wasn’t used to vegeta’s bulky hands, and she longed for her own nimble, agile digits.

“how long do you think it’ll take to finish if we keep working at this rate dad?”

“oh we should be finished in three days I should think.”

“I hope so, I don’t think I could hold onto my sanity much longer…”

“has it been a difficult week dear?”
”we just seemed to pick the worst week to swap bodies, if there is such a thing as a good week to swap bodies that is!” Bulma giggled at this thought “I don’t know, everything just seems to be happening this week. Goku visiting for the first time in ages, Yamcha proposing, the meeting, I can only imagine what’ll happen next…”

“well it’ll be over soon and I think you and Vegeta did an admirable job working as a team on that presentation…”

“well to be honest dad, most of the credit belongs to Vegeta, he sure can think on his feet!”

“well, being a warrior I suppose that’s necessary at times”

“yeah…” Bulma trailed off dreamily

‘did my daughter just talk about Vegeta without insulting him? Hmmm perhaps we’ll be living in a more peaceful environment from now on. Kami works in mysterious ways…’

they finished for the day at around six in the afternoon and began to walk back through the halls off capsule corp., inevitably coming across the ‘rodent infested’ broom closet…

“eek dad, that closet, I think it’s got a rat in it!”

Dr Briefs stopped in his tracks, to be honest he didn’t like the creatures any more than his daughter ‘be a man briefs’ he thought.

he slowly crept toward the closet door but jumped about 3 feet in the air as he heard a noise from inside…

“achu” the noise was small and muffled but Bulma knew it was a sneeze

“what kind of rat gets a cold?” she pulled open the door to find a guilty looking Vegeta crouched at the bottom of the closet with a carpet of orange peelings about 2 inches deep around his feet and a half peeled fruit stuffed half way into his mouth

“a saiyan rat!” she answered her own question, Vegeta not having heard the first part, looked confused “why didn’t you tell me you got sick Vegeta??”

he spat out the orange

“who says I’b …a….a…A…ACHOOO!”

“uh huh and next your going to tell me that mass genocide was never for you…”

Vegeta stood up and held his head high in a futile attempt to look unconcerned, and healthy

“what if I ab sick? What busdess is it of yours?”

‘SO the wrong thing to say’ he thought as Bulma prepared to give him a verbal lashing

“it’s MY BODY! You idiot! I don’t fancy getting pneumonia because you don’t want to stay in bed for a couple of days!”
”oh dear…” Dr briefs interrupted ominously

“what is it?” they both asked suddenly concerned

“your illness could affect the reversal process, I’m afraid we can’t risk it till you are well”

there was a long pause

“is dis true?” Vegeta asked

“well, yes of course it is!” Dr briefs replied, slightly confused at why Vegeta should doubt him

“very well den, woban, you wid I will….rest” Vegeta felt sick, and it wasn’t just his groggy head and runny nose…

CHAPTER 12- The Saiyan Patient

Ok so I also like Madison’s idea and I actually thought about it when I started the fic but dismissed it coz I thought you might tell me off for being too gross, then again I’ve read a lot worse than that on here so if I can think of enough jokes I might just throw it in! Keep reading!

Bulma sat down on the end of her bed and buried her face in her hands. Vegeta had gone quietly to bed and fallen asleep, for now. She knew her dad was lying about the cold affecting the reversal but it sure had Vegeta fooled. He didn’t even struggle while she carried him to bed. The only problem was that, while she would have no trouble keeping him in bed this time, seeing as right now she could knock him out with her little finger, this still wasn’t going to be easy. Vegeta was the most awkward, stubborn, grumpy patient anyone could ever know and the fact that he was confined to his bed meant that Bulma wouldn’t be off her feet for the next 36 hors at least!

‘Oh well maybe the oranges did him some good and he’ll feel well enough to walk around tomorrow, and he’s only got a cold… how bad could he be?’ Bulma knew as she was thinking this that she was only lying to herself.

An hour later he woke up and it started

“Come on Vegeta time to eat some chicken soup!” Mrs briefs chirped

“Soup? That watery slop? No I’m not hungry!”

“But Vegeta dear, you’ll never get well if you don’t eat!” she giggled inanely

“Well then bring me an actual chicken, not one that’s been put through a blender with all manner of other dubious ‘food stuffs’”

“But Vegeta sweetie it’s the best thing for you, it’s piping hot and it’s full off… stuff that’s good for you!” Vegeta still wasn’t convinced

“I’m not an infant woman I can still eat solids!”

“Vegeta just eat it for god’s sake it won’t kill you!” Bulma intervened, exhausted just from listening to his complaints

“Fine then, but next time I expect something much more substantial than this insult of a meal. Is this stuff honestly supposed to make me feel better?”

Mrs. Briefs placed the tray of food on his lap and tottered off

“And bring me some fruit damn you!” he barked as she left

“How dare you order my mother around like that!” Bulma roared

“Humph! I am royalty and as such I expect to be treated with respect and fed only the finest foods!”
”Well if you had any manners at all we might treat you with a little more respect! You don’t act like a prince at all, anyone would think that you were just a dumb Neanderthal!”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about woman!”

“Huh! I’m the richest woman in the world, of course I know what it feels like to be royalty!”

“You are a low class weakling human who happens to have a high IQ, that does not make you royalty!”

“Why you…” Bulma paused “did you just say that I had a high IQ?”
”No, of course I didn’t!”

‘Oh kami if she knew I’d said that she’d be insufferable…’ he thought

“I’m absolutely positive I said ‘rich daddy’”

Bulma grinned

“I don’t buy it Vegeta I know what you said! Thank you…” she trailed off and there was silence for a while

‘Well at least she’s not going to go on about it’ he thought gratefully

“Eat you’re soup before it gets cold” she said and then left the room deep in thought

“Humph”

“WHERE’S MY FRUIT WOMAN???” it was two hours later and Vegeta was more bored than he’d ever been, even the infamous ‘monopoly day’ had been more entertaining than this…

Bulma had been hoping to get the chance to go and help her dad in the lab today, but she’d had to go out to buy oranges for Vegeta…

‘He’s so weird when he’s sick, he’s obsessed with the idea that vitamin c will magically cure him! Hmmm I wonder if people ever got sick on planet Vegeta…’

“WOMAN!!! I KNOW YOU’RE BACK I HEARD THE DOOR!!”

“Coming Vegeta!” Bulma sighed

She climbed the stairs and opened the door to her room to find Vegeta sitting up in bed with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face which, had it gotten any deeper, threatened to just fold Bulma’s face in half

“Don’t frown like that Vegeta you’ll give me wrinkles!” Bulma was honestly concerned,

‘He better not crease my beautiful face or I swear I’ll…’ then she remembered that she still had a revenge plan underway, Vegeta still didn’t know about the things she’d said to Goku…

“Humph, whatever woman, just pass me the bag of oranges and leave”

Bulma was about to do just that when she thought that maybe now would be a good time to ask Vegeta some questions. She was quite interested to learn more about the saiya-jin and their culture,

‘Maybe if I could understand his point of view he’d be easier to tolerate’ she thought

As soon as she passed the bag to Vegeta he ripped it open and began to gorge himself on its contents. He paused and looked up at Bulma as she sat down on the end of the bed

“Well, are you going to leave me in peace or what woman?”

“Aww come on Vegeta I know you’re bored and you gotta admit even talking to me beats staring at the ceiling”

Vegeta wasn’t convinced; after all, he had the oranges to occupy him for now…

“Whatever woman just try not to make my headache worse with your incessant chatter”
Bulma sat and thought for a while and Vegeta continued on his quest for vitamin c- induced immortality

“Vegeta” she started eventually “didn’t anyone ever get sick on vegetasei?”

“Ha! Saiya-jin never get sick woman, no puny virus could survive an attack from our immune systems”

“So you never ever even had days were you felt a little off?”
”Never”

“Bizarre” Bulma was lost in thought

“You may think so woman but I find it more than a little bizarre that humans can contract a condition were an almost constant stream of what I can only describe as sticky yellow goo runs out of their noses!”

“I suppose you’ve got a Point Vegeta,” she said, not really listening

“Why do you ask any way?”

“ Just curious”

“Whatever” actually Vegeta was quite surprised at her taking an interest in his home

“Do you ever miss your home Vegeta?”

“Woman, I was a child when I left it and I cared little about it then. A true saiya-jin needs no home, he is self sustaining and strong enough not to need such comforts! The only thing I miss is the acknowledgement of my superiority over all creatures!!”

‘He’s lying’ Bulma thought. She’d heard about how he cried for the loss of his home and his people on namek, ‘he’s so stubborn’ she thought, annoyed. But then again she didn’t honestly expect him to just admit his deepest fears to her; it had taken the knowledge he was about to die for him to do it last time!

“So you were kinda worshipped on your planet?”

‘Is this a trick question?’ thought Vegeta, but he answered any way

“Yes, of course I was! The royal bloodline was superior to all others; we were born to rule and to be followed! It was in our blood and still is in mine!”

“I see, so you were actually royalty for a reason, your family was the most suited for the job…”

“Why else would we rule an entire planet woman? Don’t you have royalty on this planet??”

“Yeah, a couple of smaller countries like England still have a monarchy.”

‘Hmm note to self- visit England’ thought Vegeta

“But no one really knows why they’re royalty. They don’t serve any real purpose, apart from as a tourist attraction…” she could see Vegeta wasn’t listening by this point “anyway, I’d better go and help out my dad in the lab if we want to get changed back any time soon…”
”Whatever woman”

“Do you want me to bring you more chicken soup before I leave?”

“Dear god no. I’d rather chew my own arm off…”

“I get the point, see ya later!!”

“Humph”

And so Bulma left for the lab, deep in thought as she walked

‘He’s such a mystery…’ she thought ‘I know he has a heart; I can feel it beating right now! And yet he’s impossible to read. He has to have some kind of feelings other than anger and pride, he just HAS to, but at the same time I can’t believe it’s possible for any living creature to hide them so well!! Psychoanalysts could dedicate their lives to working him out and still get nowhere… arrogant and self absorbed as he is, I could never say I don’t find him interesting…’

CHAPTER 13- Vegeta gets a visit

The next morning Vegeta awoke and was confused to find that instead of feeling better he had just developed a whole host of other symptoms. Something inside the lower half of Bulma’s body felt like it was being held in a vice and twisted, a dull aching pain came in waves and made him slightly dizzy.

Bulma had slept in another room the previous night, she couldn’t sleep through his constant sneezing, sniffing and coughing, and so he couldn’t even check that these new symptoms didn’t mean he was dying or something.

‘Perhaps I just ate a few too many oranges. Perhaps fruit gives humans stomach pains…’

He thought, but somehow he could sense that it was something a lot more sinister than that. Suddenly he had a bizarre sinking sensation and ran to the bathroom.

Bulma awoke to find herself still in Vegeta’s bed.

‘I wonder how the patient feels this morning’ she thought as she stretched her tired limbs and yawned.

“WOMAN!!!”

She heard Vegeta call; there was a tone of sheer panic in his voice, which made her leap into action, following the sound of her own voice to the bathroom.

‘He’d better not be taking a shower without my supervision!!’ she tried to enter the room but the door was locked

“You’d better be brushing your teeth Vegeta or I’m not going to be impressed when I have to break this door down!!!”
’He he, and for once I actually really could break it down!’ Bulma was eager to try it just once in her life!

“Never mind that now woman! Why didn’t you warn me about the other symptoms of this ‘common cold’?”

“What other symptoms Vegeta? Have you got a migraine or something??”

‘Oh no, so these other symptoms are unrelated! I’m DYING!!!!’ Vegeta found himself short of breath…

“Come on Vegeta I can’t help you unless you open the door or at least tell me what you’ve done to my body!!!” Bulma too was starting to panic by this point

“Well I had a stomach ache when I woke up this morning. It was a bizarre sickening pain unlike any I have ever felt” Vegeta said in a small, worried tone

Bulma started to recognize these symptoms…

“And now I’m, I’m bleeding from…. Down there” he was obviously mortified

Bulma gasped as she remembered the date, it was a couple of days early but all the same she should have warned Vegeta!!!

‘How could I have been so inconsiderate!!’ she mentally beat herself up as she forced open the door with little difficulty to come to vegeta’s aid…

An hour later, Vegeta was back in Bulma’s bed, curled up in a ball, with a hot water bottle on his stomach…

‘This is the worst week of my life’ he thought to himself ‘first the woman’s pet weakling, then Hasslehoff, then the cold and now this! Why must I be put through such indignities!! Oh I bet kami and his weirdo Arabian friend are having a good old laugh at my expense right now!!!’ Vegeta began to growl, his anger building ‘I am the prince of a warrior race, not a pathetic woman; these ridiculous concerns are not for me to worry about! I have far more important things to do than waste a whole excruciating week playing earthling!’

“Aaargh!!! I want my easy life back!!!” Vegeta groaned in absolute frustration

Bulma heard this and poked her head round the door to check up on him

His teeth were gritted and he looked like this really was the last straw…

“Vegeta?” she said tentatively

“Grrrr WHAT?”
”I know what you’re going through right now Vegeta, this must seem like the end of the world to you. But believe me you’re not thinking straight… have you any idea how many different hormones are flying around inside my body right now?? The pain will be all but gone tomorrow and then you’ll only have one day left…”
” WOMAN!! I do not need your sympathy, the pain is nothing to me” he lied “ I am simply furious that I have to go through this ridiculous charade… my time is precious and I am wasting a whole week of it on living your life of all people’s! How could you possibly understand how I feel!!!”

“Oh because I’m having the time of my life!!!” her voice oozed sarcasm “You may have had to go through a lot while living my life Vegeta but did you ever consider that ultimately, If something had gone wrong you would have suffered a minor embarrassment before going on with your life, where as my life would have been all but ruined!! It’s not like you’ve had to trust me with anything you care about!!!”

“That’s because I don’t care about anything!! It’s not my fault that you’re pathetic!!”

“You absolute jerk! How DARE you call me pathetic? And for what?” she fumed “am I pathetic because I care about my job and my friends and about you? Let me ask you; what has not caring ever done for you other than make this whole affair easier? It hasn’t made you any stronger! Kami knows Goku is one of the most caring men alive and he could rip you to pieces!!!”

“I will be stronger than kakkarot! You know that I will attain my goal!!”
”Perhaps Vegeta” Bulma calmed herself, remembering that Vegeta was hormonal “ but if you ask me the reason you haven’t reached it yet is precisely BECAUSE you don’t care about anything else”

“Nonsense woman! You know nothing of the legendary super saiya jin!! I suggest you stop theorizing on subjects which are beyond you and go back to helping to end this sorry chapter of my life!!!”

“Fine I’m going now. Remember that the aspirin are in the top draw if you need then but you can’t take any for another couple of hours, or I’ll get liver failure and then you’ll be sorry!!”

“Humph”

“Whatever Vegeta, I’ll see you later” Bulma left the room exhausted and on the verge of tears. Vegeta didn’t appear to have noticed but she realized that she had let it slip that she cared about him.

‘Kami only knows it’s not a good idea to let him know that! He’d call me a sentimental fool!! Ah well for once I thank kami that Vegeta is way too self absorbed to notice these things…’

Back in bulma’s room Vegeta pulled his hot water bottle closer and thought about what Bulma had said, for a change.

CHAPTER 14- Vegeta’s dreams

Vegeta lay in bed and slowly felt the pain subsiding.

‘How the woman copes with this every month is beyond me, I shall make a mental note of this date and stay away from her this time next month.’ He clambered out of bed, still in Bulma’s least flattering pajamas, to go find food. He had a heavy craving for chocolate.

Once in the kitchen he found a large bar of chocolate in a box labeled ‘Bulma’s secret stash’. No doubt, he considered, the ‘stash’ existed precisely for occasions such as this and for that reason Bulma would never begrudge him it.

He sat down in the lounge to watch game shows on daytime TV; these were his primary source of general knowledge of the human race. He would have to watch more of these in order to avoid more conversations were the woman could get the upper hand, a dangerous situation indeed, like the other day when she had to explain the concept of money to him. Vegeta didn’t like being outsmarted. Suddenly his thoughts turned to the woman

‘She said that she cared for me. Foolish woman! And I thought her mother was the only one crazy enough to treat me, the prince of a bloodthirsty, planet purging race, like a weakling member of her own family. I will tolerate it from the mother, she too stupid to know otherwise and she does show me respect by cooking me proper meals on demand, but from the woman?’ Vegeta found it strange that an intelligent person such as Bulma would want to treat him like a ‘friend’; on further consideration he found it completely unfathomable

‘She knows that I am a heartless killer and that I would destroy all of her weakling friends given half a reason. She also knows that her feelings and attitudes toward things are of little consequence to me. I have given her not a single courtesy since my arrival here, I have done nothing to deserve such emotions...I have done nothing but exist…’ suddenly it dawned on him ‘so the woman has a crush on me eh? That appears to be the only logical explanation. I could have some fun with that information after this situation is over’. Vegeta laughed heartily for a whole minute until he saw wheel of fortune start and decided to return to his in depth study of human ‘culture’.

Eventually Vegeta fell asleep In front of the TV and began to dream…

It was his usual nightmare, running through a swirling tunnel with kakkarot just feet away from reach only this time it was slightly different… he found it even harder to run and tripped, looking down at his feet to find a pair of stiletto heels

“Aaaaargh” Vegeta screamed, before looking up to find kakkarot holding out his hand to help him up

“You know Vegeta you really shouldn’t run in those shoes. Hey wait a minute? Aren’t those women’s shoes? Oh I’m sorry Bulma I thought you were Vegeta!!”

“But I am Vegeta!!! I’ll kill you kakkarot”
”ssshhh not now Bulma, Yamcha’s waiting for you”

Suddenly Vegeta turned to see Yamcha running after him, with hideously huge inflatable lips…

“Bulma! I love you Bulma!!”
”Oh kami no!!!” Vegeta got off the floor onto his feet and chased kakkarot “kakkarot wait! You have to stop this mad man! I’m Vegeta not Bulma!!!”

Suddenly the purple haired kid from the future appeared alongside kakkarot

“You!” Vegeta was shocked “help me! You have to help me, I can’t run in these damned heels and that freak is gaining on me!!!”

He looked back to see that Yamcha was still running, huge inflatable lips first, while he had slowed to tottering along on Bulma’s heals. Both kakkarot and the mysterious boy merely smirked and turned supper saiya jin, drifting far ahead of him as usual

“We’ll leave you two love birds alone” they said, almost sadistically

“Nooo!!! I’ll never catch up to them! Damn these heels! FATHER!!!”

Suddenly Yamcha disappeared and Vegeta was left floating in darkness. His father appeared and Vegeta waited for the reassurance that he would become a super saiya jin but instead his father frowned an lisped

“Face it, I’m more of a woman than you’ll ever be Vegeta!!”

“AAAAAAAAAARGH” Vegeta awoke with his father’s words still ringing in his ears

“That was just sick…” Vegeta decided that that was the last time he would eat chocolate before sleeping EVER.

He was still tired but after that dream he wanted to avoid sleep at all costs, so he turned his attention back to the television. Half an hour later he was asleep again when Bulma came in for her lunch break.

“Damn appetite, Vegeta won’t be impressed when he gets his body back and finds that he’s put on a few pounds!”

She jumped out of her skin as she heard mumbling in the lounge,

‘Please don’t let Vegeta have heard that!’

She poked her head into the lounge and saw him fast asleep in front of the glowing TV with an empty chocolate wrapper on the table in front of him.

“Phew!” she was about to turn back into the kitchen and make herself the mother of all BLTs when she heard him speak…

“Hello Bulma…FATHER! GET OUT OF HER STILETTO HEELS!! How are you today Bulma…” then he went back to snoring

‘Aww he’s dreaming about me! It sounds like a pretty bizarre dream to me but all the same…. I wonder what that could mean?’ suddenly it dawned on Bulma ‘so the mighty prince has a crush on me does he? I could have some fun with that when I get my body back’ Bulma laughed evilly until the sound of her laughter was eclipsed by that of her rumbling stomach…

CHAPTER 15- The Last Day

It was 9 in the morning the next day and Vegeta and Bulma had been in Dr Briefs' lab since 6.

“How much longer is this going to take old man?” Vegeta growled as he watched Bulma’s father potter about, tweaking the machine and assembling the final components

“Have patience Vegeta please! Would you like me to do a shabby job of it and trap you in Bulma’s body forever??”

“Humph”

“What’s wrong Vegeta? Are the cramps getting to you??” Bulma was in an irritable mood, having sat on a cold floor for 3 hours listening to Vegeta complain. Her dad didn’t want her to help, he was always like that in the final stages of a project, he just would not trust anyone to do it right and just had to do everything himself. Still Bulma couldn’t help but feel slightly offended… and bored

“Of course not woman! This pain is nothing to me! The point of the matter is that no amount of pain, however small, is worth it just so that you can reproduce at some point in your life, passing on your defective genes to future generations!”

“Yeah well at least the human race can breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing that you never intend to pollute it with your DNA!! I can only imagine the horrors that would in sue if you decided to have children!!!”

“Humph! The human race is not worthy of mixing with my privileged blood line!”

“JUST SHUT UP VEGETA!!!” Bulma screeched and felt that she had had enough of him to last several lifetimes

“As if I’ll do what you tell me to woman!! I’ll die before I do!!”

“Well that’s good cos you’ve already died once!! HA HA HA!! I win again!!”

‘I wish they’d go somewhere else so I could concentrate! I’ll never get this finished at this rate and then they’ll be baying for my blood if they have to go through another day of this!!’ Dr Briefs thought solemnly

“Why don’t you two go get something to eat? You haven’t had any breakfast yet and I won’t be finished here for a good 5 hours if that!”
”Ok dad I’ll go get something to eat. Do you think mom’s put something out already?”

“Oh you know your mother dear, she’ll be on stand by in the kitchen ready to spring into action as soon as you even mention breakfast to her!! She has a talent for that…”

“Ok I’m going then!! I’ll be back soon!” and with that she was gone before Dr Briefs could tell her to take her time

“What about you Vegeta?”
”I’m not budging till this thing is finished! Too many things have gone wrong this week for me to be taking the chance of letting you slack off old man!!”

“But aren’t you hungry?” Dr Briefs was craving solitude

“I will survive”

‘Ah well’ thought Dr Briefs ‘ at least if there’s only one of them here I won’t have to put up with the bickering’. He went back to his work Vegeta pacing back and forth in the background.

“So will this really take 5 hours? Can’t you go any faster??” Vegeta eventually growled out

“I’m afraid so, but it might not take so long if it weren’t for my concentration being ruined by you two kids tearing strips off each other!” Dr briefs gasped, he had never dared to speak out so openly against Vegeta before. He was afraid but curious to see what reaction he would get

“Humph! If your daughter wasn’t so darned irritating there wouldn’t be a problem!”

Dr Briefs, feeling braver knowing that Vegeta couldn’t do a thing to him while in Bulma’s body, and while he was creating his only way out of it, decided to defend his daughter

“Now Vegeta from what I’ve seen you do tend to provoke her just as much as she does you… I think you both enjoy the arguments more than you let on!”
Vegeta was surprised by the old man’s honesty and bravery, but also strangely pleased by it

“Hmmm, perhaps” Vegeta smirked

“Yes I thought so, after all Bulma is a lot brighter than most of her friends, with the possible exception of piccolo, and heaven knows he’s not much of a talker… she only really spends time with Yamcha and, well, you know what I’m getting at”

“Ha ha ha! Yes the weakling hasn’t got two brain cells to rub together!”

“Well, you put it a little more harshly than I would’ve…”

Vegeta continued to chuckle, while Dr Briefs went back to his work.

12 o’clock

“Hiya dad I’m back!”

Dr Briefs jumped out of his skin, nearly dropping a vital, and fragile, component of the machine

“Oh hello dear, did you have a nice breakfast?” he said vaguely, adjusting his glasses

“Yeah! Where’d Vegeta go?” she looked around curiously

“Right behind you woman!” Vegeta growled

Bulma looked around to find him leaning with his arms crossed against the wall.

She couldn’t help but chuckle at how ridiculous this looked while he was in her body…

‘But not for much longer now!!’ she thought cheerfully

“Hiya Vegeta! I brought you some toast!! I bet you’re hungry!”

Vegeta almost fell over. He hadn’t seen her in such a good mood for a long time

“Uh yes, that would be… satisfactory woman.”

“Ah Vegeta you’re such a nut, you can’t even say you’re happy I brought you toast? He he!” Bulma handed him the plate and some little tubs of jam, honey and marmalade from her pocket

‘Hmmm I wonder what the woman wants… she must want something, she’s never this pleasant for no reason…’ Vegeta thought, looking over at Bulma to catch her grinning inanely at him

“Woman stop pulling my face into that stupid grin!! I have never pulled that expression in my life nor do I wish to!!!”

“Ok Vegeta” Bulma said, putting on a mock serious face “this good enough?”

“Crazy woman” Vegeta mumbled under his breath and looked away

Time passed slowly for the next two hours, Bulma fiddled with her inventions and finished fixing Vegeta’s training bots (the task she had meant to finish the morning after the night they got switched) and Vegeta attempted to meditate, figuring that as long as he still had his mind, he could still train in a sense, preparing himself for the physical training he would undertake immediately after being returned to his body.

Finally at about 2:15 in the afternoon Dr Briefs called out

“Finally, finished! Are you two ready to go back to normal?”
”I’ve been ready since the second we switched, you crazy fool!” Vegeta said irritably, opening his eyes and uncrossing his legs.

“Ready as I’ll ever be dad!” Bulma bounced over to the completed machine

“Where do you want us?” she asked cheerfully

“Umm, if you would both stand on the blue mats.” Bulma looked down, two blue mats with foot print outlines on them, showing you how to stand lay on the ground next to the machine.

“Oh ok!” both she and Vegeta stood on the mats, and placed their hands on the machine on a specific spot indicated by handprints.

“Ok, I think you should both shut your eyes while this is going on, or you could get very dizzy indeed!!” Dr Briefs warned, “Ok now this shouldn’t take a second” he said as he lightly padded the buttons on the control panel, causing the machine to whir to life and a mechanical voice to begin a countdown

“Here we go!” said Dr Briefs, excited to see his invention in action

“5…4…3…2…” the last number was blurred out by an intense buzzing sound, straight out of a science fiction movie. This was the last thing either heard before blacking out.

Vegeta awoke with fuzzy vision to the sound of Dr Briefs’ voice

“Ah you’re awake… is that you in there Vegeta?”
”Yes” was all he could cough out in his urgency to look over himself.

Discovering that the machine had succeeded he breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“Where there any complications?” he asked abruptly

“Nope, it was a perfect success, and the machine didn’t even blow up this time! Both you and Bulma are unharmed!”

“I’m going to train. I expect to eat at 9:30 tonight.” And with that Vegeta left the room without even glancing over his shoulder

“Ah well I can see he’s feeling well” thought Dr Briefs, wondering if the saiya jin prince even knew what gratitude was.

“Hmmm?” Bulma stirred. Dr Briefs ran over to his daughter immediately

“Bulma dear, how are you feeling?”

Bulma sat up slowly

“Kinda like a truck just hit me… BUT I’M BACK IN MY BODY!!! Oh kami thank you!”

“Both you and Vegeta are unharmed and the machine ha survived in tact, an all round success story even if I say so myself!!” Dr Briefs smile down at his daughter

“That’s great dad! Where is Vegeta by the way?”
”I’ll give you one guess!”

Bulma sighed. ‘Back to normal’ she thought, almost sadly…

CHAPTER 16- Bulma’s Realization

Bulma wasn’t sure what to do with herself, she could ring Yamcha but her week wasn’t up yet and she was still confused and disorientated. Her muscles ached with the tension they had been under for the last week

‘I guess Vegeta just can’t relax whatever body he’s in!’ thought Bulma.

She decided to wander down to the lab to think, being in the lab always soothed her, she didn’t know why. However when she got there she saw that the training bots she’d fixed where still on the work table, Vegeta had forgotten to take them for training. She felt a strong urge to go and interrupt his training and take them to him, so she capsulised them and walked across the compound to the gravity chamber. Once she reached the chamber it was easy to see that Vegeta had already begun his training, either that or Vegeta was having a one man disco, light show and all. Suddenly the chamber shook and Bulma fell to the ground.

“oww!! Stupid monkey are you trying to destroy the thing again!!!” Bulma roared

Vegeta heard this and opened the capsule door, Bulma looked up to see very angry saiya jin staring down at her.

“Woman! Were you spying on me??? What is the meaning of this interruption?”

“Well excuse me your highness” Bulma snarled, “I’m so sorry that I came here to do you a favor! Well you can just forget about your stupid training bots!”

“Training bots? Give them here woman! Although I doubt the puny things will be any more suitable than the last batch of pathetic tin cans!”
”As if I’m going to give them to you now! If my work isn’t good enough for you then why don’t you just leave me alone and find some other sucker!”

“Because the pathetic technology that you give me is the best this backward planet has to offer!!! And that is NOT a complement!”

Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs in frustration enjoying the sight of Vegeta covering his ears in pain. Then she simply threw the capsules at him and stormed off back into her house.

Mrs. Briefs heard her daughter slam the back door muttering about ‘the spiky haired twerp’

“Oh! Did you have another argument with Vegeta dear?” Mrs. briefs called out to her daughter

“Of course I did mom! You didn’t seriously think that he might have actually acted his age for a change?” Bulma was fuming

“He he he!” Mrs. briefs giggled

“What are you laughing at mom?? What’s so funny about me working my fingers to the bone for that arrogant alien!”

“Well dear I was just thinking you should try food”

Bulma was confused; her mother could be so… lateral sometimes

“What??? What do you mean try food? Eating isn’t going to make him go away!”
”No dear, but it is the best way to a man’s heart, especially that man I’ll bet!!”

Bulma was momentarily speechless

“WHAT?!?!”

“You know dear! He does love his food”

“No mom I want to know exactly why you think I would want to be in that, that… Vegeta’s heart?”

“Oh now come on Bulma! I’ve seen you two getting closer, spending more time together, and sharing a bed and all. He he he!!” her mother began to giggle insanely

“Mom! We were living in each other’s bodies! It’s not like we had a choice in the matter!!!”

“Yes, I suppose it must have been difficult living in his body and all…”

‘Finally she understands’ Bulma thought, relieved

“… I mean the best view really is from behind and I don’t suppose you could really get a good look when you’re actually inside his body…”

“MOM!!!! I do not want to look at Vegeta from ANY angle! I can’t stand the guy! Why are you trying to set me up with a mass murderer any way? Is this some kind of horrible night mare???” Bulma ran to her room, her mother calling cheerily behind her as she ran-

“Don’t forget what I said about his stomach!”

Bulma slammed her door and leaped onto her bed. She decided that now would be a good time to write in her diary.

‘Dear diary,

Today Vegeta and I finally got back to normal… whatever that is. However it appears that my mother has gone insane! You won’t believe this; she’s trying to set me up with… VEGETA! Of all people why does she want to set me up with Mr. ‘blast you to oblivion for sneezing at the wrong moment’ Vegeta! Ok, so I know he’d never dare to kill me, he’s got nowhere on earth to go. Sure, he could terrorize some other poor family easily, but if you’re going to terrorize any family on the planet, who wouldn’t pick the richest one? Besides, no one else could afford to feed him, or fix his gravity machine over and over and over. Wait a minute, I got off track.. What I wanted to say is… I really don’t like Vegeta for the following excellent reasons-

1. He’s an alien… but then again so is Goku… darn, ignore that one then!

2. He’s arrogant, selfish and kinda evil… but that’s not really his fault, and I sometimes wonder if he can change… there I go again!

3. He wears too few clothes… wait a minute, that’s the only thing that makes him living here bearable! Sure he’s a pig but he’s a cute pig. scratch that one as well then!

4. He’s too short… ok that was kinda mean and it doesn’t really bother me any way.

Darn! For once in her life I think my mother might have caught on to something before I did! How did I NOT notice that I had a crush on Vegeta?? Where has my brain been for the last year? This is bad, this is really really bad. I’ve got a crush on a guy that doesn’t know that I exist outside my lab and my boyfriend, who I don’t want any more wants to marry me!! Oh yeah I forgot to mention, Yamcha proposed last week, in fact I’d better go and call him now, I can’t string him along any more, he needs to know it’s over. C-ya diary!’

Bulma sighed and put her diary away in her safe hiding place, her underwear draw. She rolled over on the bed and suddenly felt very tired.

‘Must be a side effect of the reversal, I’d better get some sleep before I ring Yamcha’ she thought as she drifted off, the distant sounds of Vegeta’s intense training reaching her ears.

She awoke 6 hours later, looking at the clock and seeing that it read 9:33 pm Bulma jumped out of her skin.

‘I have to call Yamcha!’ she got up and ran downstairs, deciding to use the phone in the kitchen. She sat down at the kitchen table, chocolate at the ready to cheer her up after what was bound to be a long, depressing conversation. She dialed the number but as the phone on the other end began to ring, Vegeta burst into the room

“Woman I said I wanted to eat at 9:30, where is my meal???”

Bulma was about to answer him when yamcha’s voice reached her other ear

“Hello? Bulma is that you??”

CHAPTER 17- Vegeta’s Realization

Bulma stared at Vegeta for a second in a complete daze

“Hello? Bulma? Is that you?” Yamcha called from the other end of the phone

“Oh hiya Yamcha, sorry about that I got distracted…”

“Woman!” Vegeta repeated, “Stop chattering with that weakling and feed me!”

“Gosh ya know Vegeta why don’t you stop acting like an invalid and cook for yourself? Sorry about that Yamcha, he’s decided to throw another tantrum.”

“Oh that’s ok Bulma I know how it is. I worry about you sometimes, living all alone with that, that murderer!”

Bulma was furious ‘there he goes again, treating me like I’m some defenseless woman and making out that Vegeta is still the dangerous criminal he once was’ she looked over to Vegeta who glaring daggers at her with an intensity that only he was capable of ‘well, maybe he’s not a complete reformed character, but still…’
“Yamcha, I don’t live alone with him my parents are here. Besides I can take care of myself and Vegeta won’t kill me cos he knows that if he did Goku would rip him into little itty-bitty pieces!” she pulled her tongue at Vegeta as she said this, gaining a look of surprise and then a growl.

“How dare you speak about me that way? How dare you mention me at all to that weakling??” it was Vegeta’s turn to be furious. Then he had a brilliant idea. He knew how to end this conversation quickly and get back at Bulma in one blow

“Come on woman” he said loud enough for Yamcha to hear clearly “surely it doesn’t take this long to dump a weakling?”

Bulma shot out of her seat in surprise as tears welled up in her eyes

“How could you Vegeta?” she whispered

“Is what he said right Bulma? Did you ring me to tell me it’s over?” Yamcha sounded heart broken.

“Yes, yes I did Yamcha. I’m so sorry you had to find out like that… I don’t want to hurt your feelings any more than I have to…” Bulma’s eyes felt hot as tears began to stream down her cheeks and she stifled a sob.

‘Why am I doing this?’ she thought ‘I have no reason to reject him like this! It’s not like there’s any hope for Vegeta and me. I’m so confused’

“That’s ok Bulma, I understand. But hey” Yamcha replied trying to sound cheerful “we can still be friends can’t we?”

“Oh kami of course we can Yamcha!” Bulma was so relieved she grinned a huge grin that made Vegeta wonder what on earth kind of weird conversation they could be having were the woman was crying one second and grinning like a maniac the next

‘Maybe she has finally lost it?’ he thought

“Cool” said Yamcha with a real enthusiasm, which made Bulma feel like everything was all right

“Ok so I guess I better go now!” said Bulma “you be careful with your training! Don’t you hurt yourself!”
"don’t worry I won’t! I’ll call you sometime ok?”

“great! Maybe you can even give me the occasional foot massage still?” Bulma giggled

“no way! You know I hate doing that!” Yamcha laughed
”oh well! C-ya around Yamcha!”

“c-ya babe!”

and with that Yamcha hung up and Bulma sighed

‘he always was quick to recover like that’ then she remembered Vegeta and turned slowly toward him with a dangerous look in her eye

Vegeta smirked, knowing that she was about to explode, not particularly bothered if he had to cook for himself

“that was really un called for Vegeta.” She stated irately “but then again what would I expect from you?” she brightened “you base your entire lifestyle on going too far with things!”

“wha…?” Vegeta was very confused, and disappointed

“so whatcha want to eat Vegeta?” Bulma wandered over to the fridge and took a look at it’s contents “oooh looks like mom’s been shopping again, she’s such a trooper”

“I don’t care what you feed me! I just want food and I want it NOW” Vegeta roared, tired of whatever game the woman thought she was playing

‘she’s never this calm, I won’t stand for her ignoring me like this, making me look foolish!’

“now now Vegeta, I’m not in the mood to argue right now”

‘this is way more fun than arguing with him! I think that vein in his fore head is about to pop!!’ she thought to herself

“grrrrr, forget the food, I’ll make it myself!” Vegeta moved her away from the fridge roughly and set about gathering sandwich fillings.

‘he he he’ thought Bulma ‘I may not have found the way to Vegeta’s heart, but I’ve definitely found a way to shut him up!!’ she sauntered out of the room, prouder than she’d ever been with her self before

‘grrr that woman!’ thought Vegeta ‘if she didn’t have a pretty face I swear she’d be dead by now! And if she couldn’t fix the gravity room, and if her parents didn’t cook for me… there are many reasons why I allow her to live! And none of them are that I care about her!!!’ Vegeta had been wrestling with his own thoughts the whole six hours of his training,

the thoughts had started when he began to feel slightly drowsy. He had assumed that it was a side effect of the reversal process and then had wondered where the woman was and whether it had hit her yet. Then he had found him self concerned, for a split second, that she might have fallen down a flight of stairs.

‘that feeling was so intense’ he thought ‘ I cannot pretend that it was worry for the loss of my gravity room mechanic…’

at realizing this he had flown into a rage and began beating his body as hard as he could, though he was exhausted so the effects of this were minor.

‘I simply cannot understand it, although I do find her attitude amusing at times, and I have admitted that she is not unpleasing to the eye, there is still nothing I can see that would forge and attachment to her. There are many other attractive, loud mouthed women on this planet and others I am sure, kakkarot’s mate is just one example’ Vegeta shuddered at the thought of becoming attracted to chi chi ‘so why is this one any different? Hmmm bizarre.’

Vegeta had calmed down by now and was silently thinking whilst taking huge bites out of his giant peanut butter, tomato, ham, chicken and lettuce sandwich.

‘perhaps this is just a physical attraction…yes that is quite possibly the answer, and easily solved as well, I see no problem with having a little fun with her.’ He smirked evilly ‘yet again nothing can unnerve the prince of all saiya jin, not even that woman!’

“Vegeta? Are you thinking for once, or are you having a catatonic fit? I need to know so I can decide whether I should call a doctor!” came Bulma’s voice from behind him, causing him to jump violently and to choke on his sandwich

‘damn damn DAMN!’ thought Vegeta furiously as he attempted to clear his airway of an entire chicken leg ‘how do I let her do this to me???’

CHAPTER 18- Finally, Some Romance!

The next day Bulma sat in her lab, wrench in hand, supposedly working. However, the only thing she was really thinking about was the Vegeta situation

‘Ok so what am I going to do about this little problem. If I make any kind of move on him without being sure how he feels then he could-

a) Accept me- if only!

b) Get angry and blast me and everyone I hold dear straight to hell

c) Laugh in my face and never let me live it down

As far as I know all those out comes appear equally likely right now… hmmm. He might not blast us all to hell; I imagine he’d be more flattered and amused than angry. I mean come on! This is me we’re talking about, the most beautiful woman on the planet! I’d say the laugh in my face option is most likely… I couldn’t cope with that! Oh kami just imagine! Then again… he does dream about me…’

Bulma concluded that subtlety would be the best option, as with subtlety came deniability. Vegeta was sharp though… she’d have to be careful.

With that problem on the way to being solved, she decided to go on her lunch break and start putting her plan into action.

Meanwhile Vegeta was in his gravity room, supposedly training. He was actually thinking about the Bulma situation.

‘It’s really quite simple… I want something I take it.’ He thought as he fired a huge blast into one of the training bots disintegrating it ‘and why would she refuse me? I am a prince! Ha! This will be easy. I’ll catch her off her guard and, and… do something!’

<But what if she does reject you? > Said Vegeta’s common sense

‘She won’t! She’s already said that she ‘cares about me’ what else could that mean?’

Finally, Vegeta’s common sense was satisfied, but his stomach wasn’t. He decided to go hunt the woman down and force her to cook for him; she wouldn’t play that game with him again!

He reached the kitchen and looked around to see Bulma was already cooking.

“Well that was easy,” he mumbled, causing her to jump a foot in the air.

“Ahem, oh hi Vegeta!” her voice was suddenly very high pitched “I didn’t hear you come in… I’m making your favorite!”

Bulma said, having gathered her composure.

Vegeta could only stare bemused by the spectacle of Bulma cooking something that actually looked and smelt edible. If only he’d known that she’d had her mother’s help on this one.

He pulled up a seat at the table and waited. Bulma served the meal and watched as Vegeta prodded it nervously, thinking

‘It looks like my favorite, it smells like it too, but that woman cooked it, I don’t know if I dare to taste it!’

Bulma lost her patience

“Just eat it Vegeta!!! I promise it’ll taste good!”

“Here goes nothing” he muttered under his breath and took the first bite.

‘It tastes like…. Like … actual edible food!’ he looked up at the woman who stood over him, a triumphant smirk was glued to her lips.

“Do I pass?” she said

“I suppose”

Bulma was pleased ‘now for stage two’

She grabbed her plate from the kitchen counter and sat down next to him, undoing her hair at the same time, allowing it to cascade over her shoulders, smelling of strawberries… this got her a suspicious glance from Vegeta.

‘Hmmm maybe that was a little over the top’ she thought to herself

‘What the blasted hell is she doing??’ thought Vegeta ‘never mind that, I have to look for an opportunity to catch her off guard. That may be a little difficult, especially when she keeps staring at me like that!’

Bulma was desperately trying to get eye contact with Vegeta, knowing that her yes were one of her best features, however he refused to look up from his plate. She sighed and Vegeta looked up finally to see her staring dejectedly at her plate, hardly having touched her food.

‘Don’t ask Vegeta!! She’ll only think that she’s changed you into some kind of sensitive earthling! Don’t give her the power’

<You want to know so just ask> said Vegeta’s common sense

“What’s wrong woman?” he said as gruffly and reluctantly as possible

Bulma looked up at him and blinked once before replying

“Oh, nothing, I suppose I just miss Yamcha”

Vegeta’s blood froze, he stifled a growl

‘What was that?’ he thought ‘was I just jealous of that weakling?’

Bulma could tell how Vegeta was feeling by the look which crossed his features before he recovered.

‘Yes! He was jealous! Wow!!’

“Humph” was all he said.

‘Well, maybe not then’ Bulma deflated. ‘You would think that after living in a guy’s body for a whole weak, I’d be able to tell what went on in his head, but apparently not!’

The meal continued in silence, Vegeta looking for an opportunity to catch Bulma off her guard and Bulma trying to catch Vegeta’s attention with repeated, and increasingly dramatic, hair flicking, sighing and attempted eye contact.

Finally Bulma cleared the plates and turned toward the sink

‘She’s off her guard… now what do I do?’

<Kiss her! > Said his common sense

‘Ok!’ Vegeta smirked evilly as he crept up silently behind Bulma

Unfortunately she turned around at the last second to scrape the remains of her meal into the trash, catching Vegeta right behind her with a smirk on his face. So there they were inches away from each other, staring straight into each other’s eyes…. Gradually they both leaned in

<This isn’t catching her off her guard! Where’s your control of the situation now??? > Screamed Vegeta’s common sense

<This isn’t very subtle now is it Bulma! This could easily be a trick! > Screamed Bulma’s common sense

‘Shut up!’ they both mentally screamed as their lips met….

“Whoa! Did I interrupt something?”

Called a cheerful and instantly recognizable voice behind them. They both stood bolt up right and parted from each other, shame faced. And there stood Goku, one hand behind his head, the other waving at them and a big, goofy, embarrassed grin on his face.

“Grrr Kakkarot!!!! You wouldn’t have interrupted anything had you kept your big mouth shut and left us in peace!”
”Ooops! Sorry Vegeta, but hey d’ya wanna spar?”

“Grrr of course I do Kakkarot! Just wait for me outside.”

“Ok! See ya later Bulma!”

“Bye bye Goku!”

Goku wandered out the back door and began to warm up. Vegeta turned to Bulma

“We will finish this later woman!” was all he could manage to say

“I HAVE A NAME!!!”

‘He just kissed me and he still won’t call me by my name!!! Grrrr!!!” thought Bulma

“Whatever woman” Vegeta stated calmly as he departed through the back door. Bulma heard him shouting commands at ‘Kakkarot’. She allowed a minute for them to finally get themselves into the gravity chamber before she began to giggle hysterically

“Wow! He actually likes me! He he he he he!!!!”

‘Wait a minute, sparring with Goku? Oh no!!!’ suddenly she remembered her revenge.

‘This could mess everything up! And I can’t stop them now they’re gone!!!’

Bulma suddenly felt very ill….

CHAPTER 19- Kittens?!?!

Vegeta exited the house to find Goku grinning at him.

“Come on Kakkarot, let’s get training! I’m in the mood to beat you to a bloody pulp right now!”

“Hold on a minute Vegeta! I’ve got to erm… go get something a left out front, yeah. Wait here a second!”

Seconds later Goku reappeared with a large basket in his hands.

“What are you up to Kakkarot? Don’t tell me you brought your lunch with you?”

“Oh no! I wouldn’t miss Mrs. Briefs cooking for the world. There is something I brought for you though!” Goku was obviously looking forward to surprising Vegeta, who eyed the basket with suspicion before replying with acidic sarcasm

“A surprise gift? for me? Oh Kakkarot you shouldn’t have!” he chuckled “now just tell me what’s in the basket so we can get on with this!”

‘He’s gonna love this!’ Goku thought excitedly

“Here ya go Vegeta! Just what you always wanted!” Goku handed Vegeta the basket and he peered into it seeing something move under several layers of blankets, catching a glimpse of gray and black-stripped fur.

“What is the meaning of this Kakkarot?” Vegeta was losing patience rapidly.

“He he he!” Goku giggled, “It’s a kitty Vegeta!! I know, I know, no one’s supposed to know but you could just say I brought it for Bulma! Speaking of Bulma…”

Goku stopped when he saw the confused look on Vegeta’s face.

“What’s up Vegeta? Oh I know! Don’t worry you don’t have to thank me, I know how hard that is for you…”

Vegeta was shaking with rage and confusion. He dropped the basket causing the cat to yowl, jump out of the basket and run through the open gravity chamber door, escaping to Kami knows where.

“What did you mean by this? Are you mocking me third class?? You’ll live to regret this” he growled.

Goku wasn’t particularly worried; death threats from Vegeta were something he’d adjusted to a long time ago. However, he did have a strange feeling that somewhere, something had gone horribly wrong.

“What’s wrong Vegeta? I thought you’d like a kitty of your own? I would have brought you a small child, but they’re harder to buy, and chi chi said that that’s kind of illegal any way!”

Vegeta couldn’t make any sense of Goku’s ramblings today

“Forget it Kakkarot let’s just spar.”

“Man you’re really wound up Vegeta… are you ok? Is now one of those times when you need a big hug?” Goku said sympathetically.

“WHAT???” Vegeta flew into a rage like none he had felt before and charged at Goku.

“Wait Vegeta we haven’t put the gravity on ye..” Goku was interrupted as Vegeta’s knee connected with his stomach.
’Forget the gravity, looks like Vegeta’s planning to give me a good work out today without it!’ Goku thought, desperately trying to keep up with Vegeta’s rocketing punches.

Meanwhile back in the living room of the capsule corp. house.

“Oh Kami! Vegeta’s going to kill me when he gets out of there! There’s no way I’m going to get away with this! This is even worse than the pink shirt incident!” Bulma was pacing up and down frantically. Suddenly

“Meeoow!” Bulma looked up from the floor and scanned the room for the source of the sound.

“Meeoow!” came the sound even louder as she looked down to find a small kitten rubbing itself affectionately against her leg

“Aaaww!” said Bulma, her gaze softening instantly “how did you get in here you sweet little thing? Are you lost?” she picked the cat up and looked at its collar “stripe” she read the name aloud “ugh! How unoriginal!” she turned the tag over to find an engraving “property of prince Vegeta of vegetasei”

‘Oh no!’ Bulma mentally screamed as she put the pieces together ‘Goku bought Vegeta a kitten?!’

“Meeoow!” said stripe.

“Aww are you hungry?”
”Meeoow” said stripe

“Of course you are!” Bulma said in a baby voice “well lets go feed you shall we? What would you prefer chicken or rabbit?”

“Meeoow” said stripe

Back in the gravity chamber

“Gosh Vegeta calm down! This is only supposed to be sparring, we’re not supposed to kill each other!” Goku wasn’t, as usual, at full power yet, but he didn’t want Vegeta to burst a blood vessel.

“Shut up Kakkarot! Unless you’re going to explain to me the reason for this mockery!!” Vegeta continued to attack Goku relentlessly

“But Vegeta! I wasn’t mocking you! I was only trying to make you happy!”

“What on earth made you think that that fur ball and a ‘big hug’ from anyone would make me happy? Let alone from an idiot like you…”

“But Vegeta, you said that I was an honor to the saiya jin race!”

Vegeta stopped.

“I said that?”

“Yeah, last time we sparred. Don’t you remember? You told me all about how you like kittens and small children, and you told me about how you don’t like the pressure of being a prince and…”

“THAT’S QUITE ENOUGH!”
”Ok Vegeta but you asked…”

“And now I’m telling you to be quiet!”
”You know Vegeta, I really don’t have to take orders from you” said Goku, still calm as ever while Vegeta raged for some unknown reason

‘Maybe he really was hypnotized or something last week. He seems to be back to normal now, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring this up, he seems a little offended.’

At that moment Vegeta stormed out of the gravity room howling

“That damn sneaky wench!!!”

‘She will pay for this, oh yes, she will pay dearly for this!’

Vegeta stormed through the back door to find Bulma crouched on the floor gently stroking the ‘damned’ kitten while it stuffed its ‘sickeningly cute’ little face.

“Woman!!!” he roared

She looked up sharply as a fight or flight decision was presented to her

‘Damn I thought he’d train for a lot longer than that! I can’t run, I wouldn’t get two meters from him before he caught me. I’ll just have to stand my ground…’ Bulma stood and looked across the kitchen table at the furious saiya jin prince, the second strongest being in the entire universe and prepared to give him the lecture of a life time…

“eep” was all she could manage

The look of sheer terror on her face was enough to make Vegeta want to laugh out loud, but right now she had to pay for what she had done…

‘Now where shall I start…’ he grinned sadistically

CHAPTER 20- Bulma Goes Flying

Bulma regained her confidence when she saw Vegeta smirk, she hated that look and she wanted to wipe it off his patronizing little face.

“So what are you going to do Vegeta? Blast me? Oh yeah cos that’s your answer to everything!” she was moving around the table’s circumference in the opposite direction to Vegeta, desperately trying to keep that one obstacle between herself and the smirking instrument of her doom.

“Blast you?” Vegeta spoke suddenly “why of course not woman, where’s the fun in simply letting you off the hook like that?”

Bulma gulped, he was planning something worse than death? ‘Great, just great’ she thought.

“So… what are you going to do?” she said, trying to maintain her posture and to appear unafraid, although her trembling limbs betrayed her.

Vegeta laughed and darted towards her, she ran out of the door with Vegeta in pursuit, she didn’t get very far, naturally, before she felt her feet leave the ground and Vegeta’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She screamed as loud as she could, hoping Vegeta would reach up to cover his ears and drop her while the fall would still be survivable. No such luck

“Woman, if you don’t stop that, I can be up as high as your pitiful human aero planes in a second flat and drop you from there!”

Bulma immediately quieted

‘Damn! What am I going to do now? I’m going to die! And everything was going so well as well! I thought he liked me for sure, but now he’s going to kill me!’

‘Hmmm, what shall I do to the woman first? I’ll have to be careful not to kill her before I’ve had some fun with her…’

<No, you’ll have to be careful not to hurt the woman you LOVE> said a voice in his head

‘Shut up! Who asked you?’ Vegeta suppressed this voice and continued on, higher into the air. When he was high enough up he had an idea

“So you don’t like it up here woman?” he said to the struggling form in his arms

“Of course I don’t!”

“Well then, maybe I should put you down?”
”What??? Vegeta nooooo….” Bulma screamed as he watched her plummet toward the forest below.

‘I’m going to die! I’m going to die! I’m going to die!’ Bulma chanted over and over in her head, as if it was a way of distracting herself from the rapidly approaching forest floor. She shut her eyes tight noting how fast the air rushed past her and trying to guess when she would hit the ground. She opened an eye to check how close it was only to find that she had seconds left at most. She screamed louder.

‘That should be enough’ thought Vegeta and dived toward the ground himself

Bulma never hit the ground

‘What happened? Am I dead yet?’ a sadistic laugh sounded from above her, close to her ear and she looked up to find herself in Vegeta’s arms, no more than a meter from the floor. She exploded

“You put the fear of death into me you big stupid monkey! What I did was never this bad! Put me down and leave me alone, you’ve had your fun!!!”

“Ah but that was only the beginning woman!” he chuckled as he raised her even higher in the sky before promptly dropping her again and again, each time catching her closer to the ground until she eventually stopped screaming and sat stiff in his arms, as if constantly bracing herself for the impact that would shatter every bone in her body

“Had enough?”

“Yes” Bulma said meekly, her eyes wide and terrified

“Ok, now to kame house…”

“What?” Bulma was in a daze still, but she was sure he just said he was taking her to master roshi’s place.

“You heard me woman, to complete my revenge, you must experience the same shame as I have!”

“I don’t understand” Bulma said softly

“You will!” he laughed and continued to fly as fast as her body could handle

It took around 15 minutes to fly to kame house, the other side of the world practically. During the flight they were both completely silent, Bulma trying to regain total consciousness while obviously in shock, and Vegeta finding difficulty trying to stop the smirk on his face from breaking into a genuine smile of amusement.

Soon, they hovered over master roshi’s roof

“Now, woman, to finish this you must go inside and tell everyone that you are an ugly, stupid idiot with terrible taste in clothes, a huge ass and an unbelievably foul mouth!”

Bulma snapped out of her stupefied state

“You want me to what???” She roared, “You’ve got to be kidding! No way am I going to say that forget it!!!”

“Well I could always drop you a few more times if you’d prefer, bare in mind that if you don’t do this then I may not be in the mood to catch you!”

Bulma felt his grip gradually loosen

“Ok, ok! I’ll do it” she was utterly defeated

Vegeta put her down gently outside that house and watched smugly as she walked through the door.

‘I can listen from here, that woman’s voice is so obnoxious I could hear it a mile away!’

Bulma walked through the door to find master roshi sitting down for a meal in front of the television with oolong, chaotsu, tien and the turtle. The aerobics show that they loved to watch had just come on and tien and chaotsu appeared to be in the middle of a psychic sparring match, all were completely oblivious to everything around them

‘This’ll be a piece of cake’ she thought ‘ there’s no way that they’ll stop what they’re doing to listen to me!’

“Erm guys?” she said

“Hey Bulma” they all managed to mutter semi-coherently, while their attention was obviously still elsewhere. Bulma continued

“I just dropped by to tell you that I’m an ugly, stupid idiot with a foul mouth, bad taste in clothes and… oh yeah I have a fat ass!”

Just as she’d hoped none of them even looked up

“That’s nice Bulma, so how’s things?” said oolong still mesmerized by the girls in spandex

“Oh fine, but that’s really all I came to say so I’ll go and leave you to it now! Ok you guys?”
”Hm? Leaving? Oh ok see ya around Bulma!” said master roshi

“Bye!” said Bulma as she left the house, trying to look devastated so that Vegeta would think he’d had his revenge. Vegeta, who had been listening in, was a little disappointed

‘Hmm, that did not have exactly the effect I’d desired, ah well no matter, they’ll all realize what just happened soon enough!’

“Come on woman, time for you to get back to doing whatever you do with your utterly pointless life”
”ok” Bulma tried to sound upset

And with that they flew off back to capsule corp. where Goku was standing in the kitchen, stroking stripe with a confused look on his face.

“Hi Goku!” said Bulma cheerily as Vegeta grunted and headed off back to the gravity chamber, displeased with how quickly the woman had recovered.

“I suppose you wondered where we had gone,” said Bulma

“No not really, I was just trying to remember where you keep your cutlery, I need a spoon for the ice cream!”

Bulma smacked herself on the forehead and showed him to the cutlery draw, took the cat from him and went to take a nap on the couch; all that screaming tired her out.

CHAPTER 21- Bulma Gets Her Comeuppance

In the gravity chamber Vegeta was throwing punches and kicks into the air in rapid succession, beating his imaginary opponent to within an inch of its life.

‘damn woman! Why did she recover so fast? My revenge hardly affected her! Am I loosing my touch? Am I just too soft with her? I cannot allow this! My revenge must move to the next level… good thing I recorded her little announcement, I didn’t think I’d be using it for anything but my own amusement but now….’ Vegeta stopped punching the air and began to laugh his evilest evil villain laugh. The sound echoed around the chamber, giving it extra authenticity and outside Goku scratched his head, shrugged his shoulders and flew off home for dinner.

Bulma awoke on the couch after a good hour of sleep to find stripe curled up beside her. She rolled over to pet the cat.

“Hello stripe!” she said in a soft baby voice “ugh! Stripe, what a horrible name, you poor thing”

“Meeoow” said stripe, looking up at Bulma with sad eyes, as if she was agreeing with her.

“well don’t you worry we’re going to think of a real name for you now!”

“Meeoow” said stripe

“ok so you’re a girl right?”

“Meeoow” said stripe

“ok, I’ll take that as a yes, but I’m not sure…. I could whip up a universal translator like the one I made for captain ginyu but I’d rather not after what happened last time! Hmmm, what would suit you?”

“Meeoow” said stripe

“nah… too obvious” said Bulma “well you’re Vegeta’s cat really, so maybe I should call you something vegetable related… no that’s just a silly idea, who ever heard of a cat named after a vegetable! How about… Madame fluffykins!”
”hissssssss” said stripe

“ok, ok! It was just a suggestion no need to get worked up!!”

‘my kami… I’m talking to a cat… that’s it I’ve finally flipped’ thought Bulma

just then, Mrs. briefs wandered into the room

“hey mom!” said Bulma

“hello dear” Mrs. Briefs sat down in an armchair and placed a tray of cakes and lemonade on the table “oh how adorable you got a cat!” she giggled, covering her mouth in surprise

“well it kinda belongs to Vegeta but that’s a long story… what do you think would be a good name for it?”

“um… I don’t know… how about stripe?”

Bulma rolled her eyes

“I was thinking of something a little more original…”
”oh right… well if it’s going to be a member of our family from now on, it’ll need a proper family name!”

“you think I should name the cat something underwear related?”

“why yes dear… how about girdle or garter or nightie or even he he he… thong!”

“I’m definitely not going to call my cat thong! I quite liked nightie though, what do you think kitty?”

“Meeoow”

“Nightie Briefs it is then!”

“he he he!” said bulma’s mother

“Meeoow” said nightie as she scratched at her collar

“oh yeah! You still have that collar that says stripe… mom I’m just going out to the pet shop to get a new collar for Nightie”

“ok dear! Be back for dinner and make sure you take a sweater!”

Bulma looked out the window

“mom, it’s the middle of July!”
”mother knows best dear!” she replied tottering off into the kitchen

‘I worry about her’ thought Bulma as she put nightie down and went in search of her car capsule

within two hours she had arrived at the pet shop, ordered the new collar and purchased a food bowl, a scratching post, a basket that looked more like a kitty castle then a place for it to sleep, enough cat food to last a month and a litter tray.

‘I hope she’s already house trained!’ she thought

she wandered out of the shop, bags in hand and rooted in her pocket for her car capsule.

‘that’s odd, I can’t find it anywhere, must have been stolen, I’ll have to go buy a new one, now where’s the nearest capsule store?’ as she was thinking she realized that she was going to be late for dinner at this rate and decided to call home to warn her mother

she stood in the payphone, still cradling her many bags in her arms, wishing she could have dragged Vegeta on this trip ‘he’d have no problem carrying these bags and me home!’. The phone rang and she began to wonder why no one was picking up, it didn’t normally take this long for her mother to get to the phone…

‘ah well I’ll just have to leave an answer phone message and hope she gets it…’

after 10 rings the answer phone kicked in

“hi this is Bulma” started her usual answer phone message “I just dropped by to tell you that I’m an ugly, stupid idiot with a foul mouth, bad taste in clothes and… oh yeah I have a fat ass!”

“WHAT??????” screamed Bulma in the middle of the street

‘oh dear kami no, Vegeta changed my answer phone message!!! Please don’t let anyone else have heard it!!’

Bulma listened in horror as the beeps, which indicated the number of people who had called, went on and on, it seemed no one had been picking up the phone all day.

‘Noooo!!!’ thought Bulma as she prayed to kami that he hadn’t changed the message on her work line as well.

she had to get home and fast!! She decided she would go to the office first though, that message on her business line would be twenty times more embarrassing, what would her clients think???

She finally found a capsule store and sped off in her new car toward the offices on her dad’s compound. She reached the electronic gate and waited for the guard to answer after she’d pressed the buzzer.

“hi, this is Bulma briefs I just dropped by to tell you that I’m an ugly… “ came the voice from the post

she couldn’t listen to any more, she was horrified… she drove straight over the top of the gates in her hover car, screaming to the terrified guard, who Vegeta must have bribed,

“it’s ok I work here!!! But you won’t be for much longer!!!”

she sped to her usual parking space and leaped out of the car, barely remembering to lock the door in her haste to dash inside the building. Waiting for the elevator up to her floor she almost exploded, and would have taken the stairs instead had it not been for the fact that her office was on the 20^th and final floor of the huge building!

Finally it came, the door opened and Bulma was almost too horrified to step inside, as she heard her little announcement on a constant loop inside the lift, and saw the faces of those leaving the lift as she waited to get in.

She stood in the lift for twenty floors, refusing every waiting passenger on each floor access to the lift unless they promised to keep their hands over their ears. By now the proportion of the building who weren’t laughing at her expense thought she had gone quite mad.

She reached her office to find Vegeta sitting in her secretary’s chair with his feet on the desk and his hands behind his head, smirking as usual.

“YOU!!!” she roared in a voice that made Vegeta consider calling an exorcist “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!”

“you know perfectly well what I have done woman, I have had my revenge” he said mockingly

“this is not FAIR! I only embarrassed you in front of Goku you have made me a laughing stock on an almost global scale by now!”

“yes but what you told Kakkarot wasn’t true!”

“oh and those things you made me say are??”
”in my eyes, yes!”

“you… you… I hate you!!! How could you do this to me??”

“quite easily, I created one message and bullied all of your menial workers into doing my bidding, you probably shouldn’t punish them, I didn’t give them much choice” his voice and smirk were at their most evil and he burst into hysterical laughter as Bulma ran into her office and changed her message back to what it had been. She then listened to her answer phone messages. All the callers sounded either confused, embarrassed or simply too amused to even speak.

“how am I going to live this down? No one’s ever going to take me seriously again!”

“they’ll forget about it within a week woman! Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not that fascinating!” called a sarcastic voice from the doorway

“I hope you’re right Vegeta.”

“woman I am always right now come home this instant, we have business to finish”

“if you think I’d even consider kissing you after what you just did you are sorely mistaken!!!” Bulma raged

“we shall see woman, we shall see” and with that he flew out of an open window and disappeared, no doubt going to harass her mother for food which would have been ready over an hour ago by now

Bulma rode the elevator back down, gave strict orders at the reception desk to have the music in the lift changed and left the building still feeling shaken and ashamed and hoping that Vegeta had been satisfied in his revenge this time.

CHAPTER 22- More Romance!

Bulma slumped down on the couch having decided to eat her dinner in front of the television rather than sit with Vegeta.

‘How could he do that to me? I thought… oh who cares what I thought get over it Bulma!’ she sulked

Nightie jumped up to join her and snuggled in next to her as she flicked through the many channels to find an interesting documentary on artificial intelligence,

‘I wonder if doctor gero is watching this’ she thought and sighed ‘Vegeta could be dead in two years time, along with everyone else I know and love apart from maybe Gohan. And what can I do about it? Nothing!’ she sighed again

“Kinda makes you think doesn’t it Nightie?” she said aloud

“Meeoow” said Nightie, almost questioningly

“I probably shouldn’t be wasting what little time I have left arguing with Vegeta… I should be out enjoying my life. But Yamcha’s not here anymore and all my friends are so busy. The only person here who I would like to get closer to keeps on treating me like dirt!”
”Meeoow” said Nightie

“Just listen to me feeling sorry for myself!” Bulma had a sudden burst of energy “I should just stop relying on other people to make me happy!! Don’t you agree Nightie?”

Nightie looked up at her and began to purr lightly. Bulma smiled,

‘I always heard animals were therapeutic to have around!’ she thought

In the kitchen Vegeta had finished his meal although somehow, the woman’s decision to eat in another room had bothered him slightly

‘She has no right to be angry with me!!! I was simply evening the score, getting some anger out of my system!’ he growled and decided to go and give Bulma a piece of his mind

“Woman!” he said curtly as he marched into the living room

“What now Vegeta?” Bulma sighed

“You are below me! You have no right to snub me! Besides, under the circumstances I believe I have behaved very reasonably, I have killed people for less than what you did!!”

Bulma felt a mischievous smile spread across her face

‘Time to have some fun’ she thought. She stood up and sauntered over to him as seductively as she could.

“And why didn’t you kill me Vegeta?” she said huskily

Vegeta was taken aback; he didn’t have an answer immediately to hand, he soon recovered though

“Believe me woman I would’ve if you weren’t useful to me,” he stated blandly, refusing to lose his composure.

Bulma pouted cutely

“Is that really the only reason?” Vegeta could feel her breath on his neck and looked down to see huge puppy dog eyes staring up at him, he gulped almost audibly

“Of course it is woman! What other reason would I have to spare your pitiful life??”

Bulma suddenly pulled away from him and replied calmly

“None… none at all.” She smiled sweetly and sauntered away again, picking up the kitten and heading for her room. “Night night Vegeta”

“Goodnight woman” he replied despite himself and immediately felt like ringing his own neck.

‘Grrr!! That woman!’ he grumbled as he stormed off to his own bed

The next morning Vegeta awoke and was horrified to find that he’d slept in till 9:30. Normally he would have been up four hours ago

‘What is happening to me? First I can no longer control a pathetic woman and now I am becoming lazy!’ he attempted to lift himself out of bed but as he did he felt something shift on his stomach and looked down to find Nightie stretching lazily as if she, too, had just woken

“Shoo! Stupid animal!!!”

Nightie looked up at him as if this was the first time she had noticed him and purred

“What? You like lying there do you? Well I’m afraid you won’t be there for much longer, I have to get up!! Now shoo!”

Nightie didn’t even flinch

‘And now the cat doesn’t even show me proper respect’ Vegeta felt something akin to depression and decided it wouldn’t be so bad to take the morning off and pet the cat for a while, as long as no one saw him. Just as he lay back down however he heard Bulma calling the cat and coming up the stairs

“Nightie! Come on kitty it’s time for breakfast!”

Vegeta began to panic

“Come on now it’s really time for you to move!” he lifted the kitten off his stomach, realizing that simple shooing didn’t work, only to find her clinging to his arm as if her life depended on it, using her needle like claws when necessary

Vegeta winced in slight pain

“Damn those things are sharp! Come on get off me!!”

“Meeoow” said Nightie as she dangled from Vegeta’s left arm by her claws

The door opened suddenly and Bulma giggled as she watched the mighty saiya jin prince struggle and wince as the tiny kitten clung to him

Vegeta heard her giggle and turned slowly to face her

“Woman! How dare you enter my living quarters without my permission!!”

“Sorry Vegeta, I thought you would be training! I have to come in here to get your washing every other day any way! Besides, I’ve shared a bed with you and lived in your body, there’s no point getting picky about your privacy now!!”

“Humph” Vegeta knew when he was defeated

“Ok, so now that’s cleared up would you like your breakfast? You might as well seeing as I have to feed the cat and I don’t think she’s letting go any time soon!!”

Vegeta stopped struggling against the feline’s grip and Nightie curled up in his arms and began to purr again. Vegeta scowled darkly

“Aww come on Vegeta! You should be flattered, cats are good judges of character!” Bulma giggled as she left the room calling behind her “ get dressed and come down when you’re ready, I’ll have your breakfast waiting for you!!”

“Humph” said Vegeta and then began to ponder the question of how on earth he could get dressed if the cat wouldn’t let go of him? “Stupid fur ball” he grumbled

“*Purr*” said Nightie

Back in the kitchen Bulma had decided to try winning Vegeta with food again, but this time she couldn’t find her mother to help her, so all wasn’t exactly going to plan.

‘At this rate I’ll give him food poisoning!’ she thought annoyed as she slipped yet another of her culinary creations into the bin.

‘Forget this! I can’t cook, I’ll just have to find some other way to get his attention!’ she switched on a cooking robot, programmed a menu and sat herself down at the kitchen table to sulk, again.

‘Hmmm, maybe I could ask chi chi how she got Goku, he’s a saiya jin after all, what have I got to lose?’ she then remembered that chi chi got Goku because he didn’t know what marriage was and somewhere along the line she beat him up… Bulma didn’t imagine that the same formula would work here.

Soon after she dismissed this idea, Vegeta appeared in the doorway looking bedraggled with Nightie hanging on to his shoulder.

“Where is my food woman?”

“The cooking bot will be finished in a minute, just sit down a while and be patient”

“Fine.”

“Vegeta?” Bulma began after a short silence

“What?” he inwardly groaned, ‘I know that tone of voice, another depressing emotional conversation, the one about vegetasei was bad enough’

“Do you ever feel lonely?”

‘Oh dear kami no! Anything but that!! I have to shut her up but how?’

Bulma looked at Vegeta patiently, waiting for an answer to her question, instead she saw him smirk and then before she knew what day it was she felt his lips pressed urgently against her own

“What the?” she attempted to shout through his mouth on hers before she settled down and began to enjoy herself…

‘That shut her up’ thought Vegeta triumphantly

CHAPTER 23- Waking Up To Your Life

Bulma awoke in the late evening and propped her head up on her arm, looking over the calm features of the sleeping saiya jin prince.

‘MY sleeping saiya jin prince’ she thought, contentedly.

She blushed as memories of earlier in the day returned to her and she wondered why she had chosen this man, of all men to give her self to.

‘He’s an alien for crying out loud! We argue as much as Yamcha and I ever did… if not more. We don’t talk as much about our feelings, make that we don’t talk at all about our feelings, for Kami’s sake, for all the time I’ve spent with him I still hardly know the guy! But I intend to get to know him’

Bulma had already considered the thought that Vegeta had just wanted a one night stand, and had decided that he was getting more than that, whether he agreed to it or not!

Bulma heard Nightie scratching at the door to be let in. she considered for a second whether she should get up… after all she would have to cross the room naked to reach the door.

A faint ‘meeow’ from the other side of the door made up her mind for her

‘Besides, there’s no point being squeamish now, and vegetas asleep so what’s the harm?’

She crossed the room and admitted the small cat to her room. She picked Nightie up, cradling her in her arms like a baby. Bulma began to wonder if she would ever have a child of her own and suddenly she made a decision. If she was now pregnant with Vegeta’s child she would keep it. Maybe it was the purring bundle she held in her arms awakening her maternal instincts, or the euphoric feeling brought about by the afternoon of passion, but there it was, her decision was made and she rarely changed her mind about anything. She heard a soft chuckle and looked up to find that Vegeta had not been sleeping at all, he was watching her intently as she flushed with embarrassment. She tried to look relaxed as she rushed back to the modesty of her bed sheets and placed the now dozing kitten between them. Vegeta looked disgusted

“You’re going to allow that flea ridden fur ball to sleep on my bed woman? On vegetasei such things would not be permitted.”

Bulma felt a familiar anger rising inside her

“For one we’re NOT on vegetasei, for two Nightie does NOT have fleas and finally, since when is this your bed?”

Vegeta smirked, he had not been mistaken when he said that this was now his bed, he too had made a decision. He needed a source of entertainment, something to relax him between intense training sessions; this woman was to be his relaxation,

“This is my bed since I deemed you worthy to share it with me woman! You should feel honored.”

Bulma considered this for a second and replied

“So now I’m like your queen?” she grinned
Vegeta sighed

“Whatever woman” he replied begrudgingly

Bulma flung her arms around his neck in an embrace

“I love you Vegeta!!” she squealed excitedly

“Humph” was all he said, but not all he felt…

One month later

“Vegeta, the results are in, I’m pregnant” Bulma grinned radiantly

Vegeta almost choked on his jelly, pickle, cheese, spare rib and mustard sandwich. He had been ‘cooking’ for himself for weeks now since the woman couldn’t stand the sight or smell of most foods. She had been throwing up every morning for a while and now it seemed they had found their explanation for her mysterious ‘illness’.

“What do you want me to do about it woman??” he said, finally regaining his composure.

“Don’t worry Vegeta, you’ve done quite enough already!” she grinned, nothing, not even this sulky psuedo-monarch was going to ruin this for her. “That is, until the little bundle arrives and then I’ll expect you to be a father… do you think your puny mind can handle that?”

“Of course I can woman!” he replied without thinking

‘Darn! She always manages to lure me into these things with that challenging tone of hers!!’

Bulma triumphantly turned to exit the room, considering taking the recipe for that concoction of Vegeta’s down

‘It smelled damn good!’ she thought

“I’m warning you though…” Vegeta began, causing Bulma to whip around and glare at him with her best withering look “it had better be male… I can’t stand little girls”

‘… And I want to train it into something I might actually learn to be proud of’ he added mentally

“You’re just scared it might turn out like me, and then you’d have to cope with the double embarrassment of having two females running circles around you!” Bulma ‘humphed’ and left Vegeta alone to his thoughts

Vegeta imagined two bulmas forcing him into bed after training accidents, cutting him down with insults about his mental capacities in front of everyone and just generally finding a way to get whatever they want out of him and he shuddered. He wondered whether Kami had an influence over these things and decided to go harass him later this afternoon. He sighed and sat back in his chair, finishing his meal.

‘Yet another distraction, will I ever reach my destiny and join the ranks of my ancestors as an invincible super saiya jin?’ he pondered for a minute whether it is possible to fail to achieve your destiny, stopping when he came to the conclusion that time itself would cease to exist and his brain began to throb. ‘I hear that pregnant women get more emotional and high strung. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to live with Bulma in that condition’ then he did imagine it, he turned pale and ran for the back door.

In her living room Bulma heard the door slam and then the sound of the gravity room’s rocket boosters firing, running outside just in time to see the space ship disappear into the clear blue early afternoon sky. She screamed curses into the wind for an hour at least and then fell to her knees and began to cry. She heard Nightie meeoow somewhere in front of her and saw written in the earth in bold capital letters underlined,

‘I will return triumphant!’

She sighed, relieved

‘Typical Vegeta’ she thought as she hauled herself of the ground and returned to the living room to watch the rest of ‘Casablanca’, and to discuss nursery decorations with her borderline hysterically happy mother.

THE END!