‘Twas the night before Sunday, and in 403

Six kids were asleep, or about to be.

The party next door was thumping and loud

And the host of that party was really quite proud

To have such a great time in his quad was the norm

But also expected was the following storm.

The booze was arranged on the table with care

No one knew Campus Safety soon would be there.

Next door, we were nestled all snug in our beds

While nightmares of finals danced in our heads.

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter;

I fell out of bed and wondered what was the matter.

I staggered to the door and cracked it a little,

Didn’t expect our quad would be in the middle

Of a busted-up party and a few raging drunks

Who were streaming into our room, those little punks.

And bearing down on my door like a bolt out of heaven

Was a grinning and mildly inebriated Devin.

“I’m going to rape you,” he said with a smile

Because that’s what he does. And he stayed for a while.

Emily Pearl and Alice were all in there too,

Along with a crowd of randoms: from campus safety they flew.

They followed them in when they got kicked out next door

Lots of drunk people I’d never seen before.

We told them to leave and most of them went,

And we sat around and had a pizza sent.

So the randoms were gone and the pizza was great

We talked and we laughed and we joked and we ate.

Serge came to visit, but soon went away

To sleep off the booze he’d consumed that day.

All things considered, the night wasn’t bad;

There was laughter and friends and pizza to be had.

Serge’s night kinda sucked, but that’s to be expected;

His loud music and party was easily detected.

The call was anonymous, as all of them are,

A habit which may cause a Tutorial war.

Civility before authority is really our creed,

But people don’t seem to think they need

To follow that rule, and sometimes people call

And Campus Safety comes and tries to screw us all.

Serge is pissed, and rightfully so,

‘Cuz that’s really not cool, which most of us know.

So he headed to bed, angry at the whole world

With grumbles and insults all carelessly hurled.

And we all heard him mutter as he stumbles out of sight,

“Fuck you all. Goodnight.”