From: "Manna LaDroit" This is part of my ongoing musical saga, "Due South Park." Considering some recent posting to the lists, I'd better put a "fart warning" on it. More seriously, this is nothing but cussing. If you don't like the F word, ethinic slurs done in jest, and/or don't know what *South Park* is, just go on to the next post. I'm totally serious. This is really offensive. If you're not into *South Park* you're just going to think I'm a monster. Go read some Shakespeare, or something.
Protection Space
Last Warning
MOUNTIE FUKKA Ray Kowalski: Shut your Dago face, Mountie fukka! We all know you fuck your Mountie, Mountie fukka! You fuck from the front, and behind! We knew you were a fucker, but not that kind! Ray Vecchio: Shut YOUR Polock face, Mountie fukka! You're the one who fucks a Mountie, Mountie fukka! In the backseat of your GTO, You've proven yourself a Mountie ho! [Kowalski manages to squeeze a series of rhythmical farts out of his tight jeans. Vecchio repeats the pattern more easily from his loose Armani. Kowalski and Vecchio break into laughter and run out into the street, where Benton Fraser, RCMP, is directing traffic.] Faser: What's going on here? [Kowalski, then Vecchio go through their rhythmical farting, but before Fraser can join in, Buck Frobisher appears and blows them all away. Everyone applauds and Turnbull brings Frobisher a cup of tea before standing next to Kowalski with a look of bliss on his face.] All: Shut your Dago/Polock face, Mountie Fukka! We all know you fuck your Mounties, Mountie fukka! Kowalski: You're a Mountie fukka, You must confess! Vecchio: Hey! At least I know how to dress! Vecchio & Kowalski: Mountie fuuuukka, that's me and you I'm Ray! I am too! Mountie FUKKA!!!!!!!!!!! Doo-mah! Turnbull: Suck my balls.
Chicagonian Town Ray Vecchio: There's a bunch of bums in the street. And the Riv looks stylish and sweet. You can feel the suspense in the air rich and brown, Just another unsolved murder in our crime-plagued Chicagonian town! Oh, the strung-out junkies and the Mafia guys, Are an awful long way from Alberta skies. This is a day when the bad guys all go down! Oh! Now that I'm armed with my Mountie, wolf, and gun, I can take on anyone. It's another unsolved murder in our crime-plagued, graffiti-covered Chicagonian town! Lt. Welsh Well, good morning, Detective Ray Vecchio Sir, I'm getting Fraser to help me with another case. Lt. Welsh Another case? I thought I had you on a double homicide. Ray Vecchio But this is the biggest case I've ever gotten. Besides, Benny can help because it involves a Canadian. Lt. Welsh All right, all right. You can bring him, but I want that double homicide solved before dinner! Ray Vecchio Thanks, sir! Lt. Welsh Oh, what a pain in the ass he is, A tall fashion nightmare in a run-down Riv. He'd drive a lesser LT to break down! He was bad enough working alone, Now he's got Fraser like a do-gooder clone. I can't believe I live in this crime-plagued, graffiti-covered Chicagonian town Ray Vecchio Hey, can Benny come a work with me? It's important and involves Canadians. Meg Thatcher If it involves Canadians...FRASER!! Benton Fraser Uh...I mean...uh Ray Vecchio Benny, there's a creep out there killing Canadians. Benton Fraser Let me get my hat, Ray. Meg Thatcher Fraser, don't forget you have guard duty! Benton Fraser But Inspector, people are killing Canadians. Meg Thatcher Fine, you go ahead and skip guard duty, and when the Consulate is overrun by hoards of revolutionaries you can explain IT TO THE QUEEN!!! Benton Fraser All right. Ray Vecchio You can see my j'ne sais quoi in my walk, And tell I'm not Canadian by my talk. I'm so afraid this guy might take my Benny down! Benton Fraser Why would anyone want us dead? Is it just for our floppy heads? Ray Vecchio Don't know! It's another unsolved, very strange murder in our crime-plagued, graffiti-covered, rudely peopled Chicagonian town! Frannie Vechhio Hello there, Fraser. Ray Vecchio Aw, Frannie, leave him alone. Benton Fraser Franscesca, someone is killing Canadians. We have to go now. Frannie Vecchio Can't I come along? Ray Vecchio Aw...Run off and play like a good girl. Frannie Vecchio Look at that super gorgeous hunk, it really gets me down. I've got nice skin and tight skirt today. At least he could give me a good roll in the hay. That's why I hang around this crime-plagued, graffiti-covered, rudely peopled Chicagonian town! Ma Vecchio Raymondo, I see you've brought your little friend. Diefenbaker Whoof? Whoof! Whoof! Ray and Benny Off to the crime scene we will go To use skills learned on the streets and snow! 'Cause in television land the clues are always to be found! And this murder's gonna make our lives complete, 'Cause being heroes sure is sweet. It's another unsolved, very strange, pun-filled murder in our crime-plagued, graffiti-covered, looks like Toronto but don't be fooled it's the U - S - A!!!!! Benton Fraser Ray, can I have a ride back home when we're done? Ray Vecchio No! BEN'S BOSS IS A BITCH Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllll, Ben's Boss is a bitch. She's a Dragon-Lady bitch. She's the biggest bitch in the Great White North. She's bitch wearing red. She's a bitch like I said. She's a bitch who jerks Mounties back and forth.
On TNT she's a bitch. On tape she's a bitch. On DVD and satellite she's a bitch. Then on BBC just to be different she's a super stuck-up British bitch!
Have you ever met my friend Ben's boss? She's the biggest bitch in the Great White North. She's a stupid bitch and she cut off all her hair. She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch She's a Mountie bitch! Ben's boss is a bitch and she gets saluted as a bitch.
I really mean it!
Ben boss...she's a big, stiff, Canadian biitttttcchhhh! Yeah! I CAN SLASH
People say that I'm a pervert. They may be right. They may be right. Yet the right plot might make you convert. And then they'll fuck! Now, there's a sight.
And I can slash! I can slash! Ray and Benny like the horizontal mombo. The Cop and Mountie are a perfect little combo. Any second now They'll do it now We'll see them doing it again!
It's not my fault that they're so sexy! It's those green or blue eyes! Green or blue eyes! Now don't get tense with apopolexy, Just 'cause they are Such sexy guys!
And I can slash! I can slash! A little frottage or a bit of ol' fellatio! It will balance out 'cause I know the best ratio! Oh, here it comes. And there they cum. Just watch me now! I'm slashing.
