I would like to take the time to apologize to the following people:

The Chicago Bears, and especially Rex Grossman, who I called “the lousiest quarterback in the NFL.” A loss is a loss, and I feel that Grossman could do a lot better than he did against Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. I’m not saying the Bears would’ve beaten the Colts, but they would’ve made the game a lot closer if Grossman hadn’t been that terrible. In my mind, Donovan McNabb could take the Bears to the next level.

My cousin Dion in Detroit, who is currently divorcing his wife due to his admitted homosexuality. I was the best man at his wedding back in 2004, and I never imagined that he would ever come out the way he did. I don’t blame Dion for suddenly turning gay, but rather, the women he loved before they broke his heart. Even before he finally got married, he was known for hanging out with men, but I didn’t know of his secret life until recently. Fortunately, I have learned to accept his gay lifestyle, and if he wants to marry another man, I would have no problem with it. Honest, I wouldn't.

My friend Teddy in North Carolina, who is currently out-friending me on MySpace. Even though I have gained a few more friends recently, I admit that I will never catch up to him. Last time I checked, he has well over 180 friends, and I now have only 61! But that doesn’t bother me any longer. I’ve come to realize that Charlotte is one of the friendliest cities in America. Not all of my friends come from Chicago, though: I still keep in touch with Rhanda in Baltimore, whom I once fell in love with before the Windy City beckoned again. Hey, the very next time I come through Charlotte, let’s hang out together! And I promise I will get your friends those piano lessons I owe them!

And finally, to the good citizens of Chicago, Illinois, I apologize for leaving you behind, thinking I would find something better in another town. Even though I made some friends in Baltimore, it wasn’t the same, and I longed for home. Now that I’m back, I will remain faithful and true to the Windy City, because if there’s one thing we learned from watching The Wizard of Oz, it’s this: “There’s no place like home.” And to me, there’s no place like Chicago!

To anyone else I might have missed in my apology, you know who you are. I hope you’ll forgive me in due time.