Number: 62 Title: Assassin of Epics Type: Original Fiction Plot: ---------- No plot. Bizarre things happen to the main characters. High speed story. Characters: ---------- Three simple jokes nearly get turned into the Lord of the Rings in Three Goons. For this story, we turn the Lord of the Rings into three simple jokes. This story is so fast-paced, it makes Getter Robo: Armageddon look like The Lord of the Rings by comparison. First, Brandon. Nice guy, 37 at the beginning of the story. He's got 23 years on his little sister, who's only 14. Brandon is a really cool, normal guy, who's regarded the world over as the foremost expert in all things military. Loves and will probably soon marry Ching. Christina (other name?), Brandon's sister. Aikido master, normal bubbly 14 year old girl. Her (and Brandon's) extended family is absolutely huge, though we rarely ever met any of them. She's just discovering how to properly use her "naughty bits" at the beginning of this story, and likes to pal around with her older brother/father figure. They're done with a short training trip at the introduction. Ching, who was a Thai slave girl (imported from Hong Kong, imported from mainland China), bought by The Marquis - a.k.a. Thomas Howlnes. Thomas gave Ching to Brandon as half payment for a bet they made. Ching was initially happy to simply be a normal servant to Brandon, but quickly the two fell deeply in love. With the slave papers long behind them, Ching and Brandon are still a couple. Ching, an adventurous writer, and Brandon, for the moment, raising his sibling. Thomas is the richest dude on earth (pretty much). He inherited a fortune, plus several large companies, from his father when the old man kicked the bucket. Thomas is a bit quirky but the most awesome dude you could ever know. Extremely nice and knowledgeable, parties a lot, you know the type. He's not bothered by being rich, and is driven to... do stuff with nearly reckless abandon. The bet. No one ever says what this is about, but it took two years for a winner to be chosen. Ching, plus 1.5 million dollars is the payout Thomas had to make (and he made it without complaint). Outline: ---------- Pretty much anything I can stuff in here goes. Weird things happen. Action ensues. Searches for lost caches of ancient treasures. Conspiracies thwarted, governments put back in their place. A shipwrecked adventure. Nothing concrete, but with this group of people, anything's possible.