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Feeling sick again.
Lost in my little world.
Staring the coming wave of dark...
Dark silence as all I feel is tired and sick..
Answers should be foretold to everyone who is seeking,
Not those who simply desire them.
All I'm feeling is mixed thoughts and feelings...
Nothings ever right, is anything ever clear?
Nothing's ever truthful, for what is truth without false?
Feel like sleeping,
But don't feel like going to sleep.
Everything I never had, I'm gaining on my days,
But everything I always had seems to be slipping away.
Can't help but wish I knew what was right.
All I want to do is be happy; be happy with myself,
As everything I ever cared about seems to break apart.
Music and writing are my only escapes,
It's no wonder I'm interested in the arts,
All I need to do is send an application,
And I'm free... will I get accepted, or will I be lost?
Falling into a dream, nothing feels real anymore...
All I want to say is, "I love you" and have someone hold me..
Just want to cry and be young again, so I never hafta face myself...
Bever want to get older, maybe in a hurry to grow up...?
Still, I have a lot to learn.
Try to stay in touch with friends,
But how do you determine whether they want you there?
Feel like I gave myself deja-vu for the third time,
Wish I could make sense of it all...
Nothing ever makes sense, so why do I bother?
Everyone around me is getting back from trips,
Wishing I could get away from it all,
Just stay in a dream, never wondering, never caring,
Just existing, but not existing, all in the same sense...
Drifting, falling... simply being me,
For every step I make forward, apears another wire,
It trips me... I fall again, stumble backwards,
I step back to regain lost balance...
Wishing I found something to fall back on instead of regaining.
Nothing seems right to me anymore.
Don't know how I feel.
Don't know how I think.
Don't know how I want to be.
Rambling because I can,
All I want her to know is I'm confused...
Lost... but for how long? I don't know...
All I want is someone to help me...
My friend is falling - but was caught,
I cannot help him - nor can he help himself,
He was caught - now he tries to escape.
It's all based upon fate - as what he does,
He was supposed to do... or so we pray.
Wish I could explain the feeling of repeating myself...
Repeating, "I love you, I love you" over and over,
Only to see how you would react to everything,
Wondering if I even believe myself...
Maybe I should try to repeat, "I love me" instead...?
I can feel the burning of tears inside,
Wanting to run from my eyes to the outside,
Slide across my face and leave that taste...
That salty taste, as it runs across my lips...
Wish everything were more simple...
Why can't everything be more simple,
Or does that make everything complex and complicated?
I feel so sad and alone,
I'm surrounded by darkness and faint light,
All I feel is abyss and the sound...
Sound of my depressing voice in my mind,
Repeating and repeating, fading in - fading out,
Sinking myself further and further,
In depression, in regret, in remorse
In denile
Reaching single digit am's,
Thinking I'm over tired - maybe I should sleep...
Probably said too much already,
But I don't care, cause I'm already lost...
Just want to stay here forever...
Never want to be alone... never want to be broken either
It's an endless cycle; a contradicting ending.
It will never happen... I won't always be alone,
But I can't guarantee I'll never be broken.
Wish I could see you now...
See your smile, see you laugh, see you look at me...
How would things be? Different - or the same? Better - or worse?
Awkward - or silent? calming - or quiet?
My heart feels unused and cold,
My stomach feels uneasy and churned,
My mind feels cluttered and over-worked...
And even my pop tastes stale...
Don't even feel myself anymore,
Thinking I'm dreaming again,
No feelings seem new to me anymore,
Everything is repetitive and plain,
Donnie Darko in mind - screwing up my thoughts
All I want to say is I'm sorry..