Hello friends! I am Richard and I love tractors! Just how much do I love tractors, do you ask? Well, when I was 14, I lost my virginity to a tractor. I tried to sleep with women, but nothing gets me revved up like that cool metal on my pee-pee. The background song is the BEST SONG IN THE WORLD. Whenever I hear it, I immediately pee everywhere. It's that good. Seriously, you know you like it.
Me when I was 3, on my very first tractor. I named it "Cindy Lauper".
Now, I'm going to share a testimonial about tractors. Tractors saved my life. One day, a gang of no good ruffians started calling me stupid and hitting me. It was so bad that I even cried! When I cried, God said "Let there be a tractor". All of a sudden, a man appears driving a tractor! It was Jesus! Jesus ran over all the bullies, and their parents died of grief. Serves them right.
Jesus Christ, my savior!!
I want everyone in the world to love tractors. Tractors are better than people. Where people can complain and be annoying, the tractor is always not annoying! Also, people lie, people steal, people are mean. The tractor doesn't lie, doesn't steal things, and it's not mean! Wow, Tractors 3, People 0. People get diseases. Have you ever heard of Tractoritis or Tractorpseudoanaxiolaphiamia? I know I haven't, that's because tractors are immune. If we were all part tractor, the world would be much greener... John Deere greener!
My 18th birthday cake. My mom beat up a stupid 3 year old for it. Honestly, 3 year olds are too young to understand tractors.
I hope you like my site, it took me a few weeks to make. It would have been sooner, but I had to go sit in my tractor, because it is so wonderful! Thank you for visiting my site. Maybe we can be friends :).
Taking the 3 little pigs (and their mommy and daddy) to the slaughterhouse
