with J. Jonah Jameson
~J.J.~
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| THIS JUST IN with J. Jonah Jameson |
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| THORNBURY EXPOSED AS SUPERVILLAIN | ||||||||||||||||||
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| JJ here, shut up and open your ears. Local eccentric James Thornbury was exposed as being LATE for Computing last week. I couldn't care less why, but I got an anonymous tip it would make big news, and news is money, people. So what could I do but send a photographer and interviewer out to sniff him out. Only one returned with shocking pictures, saying Thornbury had manhandled them before killing our interviewer, leaving our photographer only just able to escape. The following photo illustrates how our interviewer was stripped of his trousers, decapitated and sent flying! | ||||||||||||||||||
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| It was only then we realised...he is the notorious MEGALOMANIA MAN, the supervillain who's been terrorizing the neighbourhood of late. His list of nefarious crimes is endlesss - the shmuck is Public Enemy Number...well, Two - we still don't really like Alan Dorricot. Now this is where it gets exciting. No sooner had I got the story than I got a call saying Megalomania Man was storming the building. Getouttahere! | ||||||||||||||||||
| Before I knew it, he was in my office and had me by the throat! I could feel myself fading...then outta nowhere, some punk in a tank top comes bustin' through my wall and hurls a radioactive waffle at Megalomania Man! The villain flew off in tears, crying, "We'll meet again, Tankman!" So that's who this guy is! Tankman! The tank top shoulda given it away. When I shouted at him for destroying my wall, he merely punched his way through a fresh wall and left, the shmuck. But one question remains: just who IS Tank Man? Suspicion is rife because everytime this guy appears, timid schoolboy Jonathan Collins goes missing. Coincidence? Maybe. I'll look into this. And I don't care if Tankman saves the goddamn world from Megalomania Man - he'll pay for those walls. If I don't have him repair those walls for me, my name isn't J. Jonah Jameson. ~J.J.~ |
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