A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The students laughed.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
But then... A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.
The moral of this tale is:- no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.
PEA SOUP FOR EVERYONE'S SOUL
I have learned that:
- you cannot make someone love you, but you can stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
- no matter how much I care, some people are just pillocks.
- it takes years to build up trust, and only a moment of unfounded suspicion to destroy it.
- you mustn't compare yourself to others - most people are more screwed up than you realise.
- diarrhoea still leaks out long after you think you're finished.
- if something seems too good to be true, it won't be true.
- some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
- we are responsible for our actions - unless we are celebrities.
- the people you care most about are taken from you too soon but the pillocks never go away.
- trust is over-rated - it just hurts more when you are betrayed.
- there is no such thing as a free lunch - if you raid company buffet leftovers, you are likely to get food poisoning.
FROM "Life's Little DeStruction Book"
Help fools part with their money
Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
Cut people off in the middle of their sentences
Take more than ten items to the express checkout line
Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
Don't refill the ice cube tray.
Say "like" at the end of sentences, like.
Don't make up your mind.
Try whining.
Apologize a lot but don't change.
Measure people by the money they have and the clothes they wear.
Toss pants with tissues in the pockets into the washing machine.
Anyone who says God is on their side is dangerous as hell.
So, what's your drug of choice? Religion?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Go HERE to read the Cynics Dictionary definition of "Love" Or go HERE to check out the Cynic Website.
If you have it [Love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.
~ Sir James M. Barrie
"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much." --Oscar Wilde
"'I have done that,' says my memory. 'I cannot have done that' - says my pride, and remains adamant. At last - memory yields." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams." --Mary Ellen Kelly
"The average person thinks he isn't." -Father Larry Lorenzoni
"There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the U.S., and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana can cause white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers and any others... The primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races."
--Excerpt from the testimony of Harry J. Anslinger, director at the Federal Bureau of Narcotics, before the U.S. Senate in 1937.
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
Sharon Stone
Nothing enchants the soul so much as young women. They alone are the cause of evil, and there is no other.
Author: Bharitihari
"There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so fearful in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even man, the fighter, who will dare torture and death in order to inflict torture and death, will be appalled, and so abandon war forever."
-Thomas A. Edison
"The victor will never be asked if he told the truth."
-Adolf Hitler
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."
-Buddha
"All knowledge is for good. Only the use to which you put it can be good or evil."
-Virgil, Planet of the Apes
"I'm not going to bend and I'm not going to break, I'm not going to worry about it anymore."
-Anonymous
"We cannot do evil to others without doing it to ourselves."
- Desmahis
"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."
-Albert Einstein