Pope R.P. the 2
  So yeah in case you have been living under a rock the Pope died.  Yes thats right Pope J.P. the 2 is dead.  But thats not what this article is about.  this article is about who the next Pope should be.
   After thinking about this for a long time (20mins) I have come to the conclusion that I should be the next Pope.  Think about it,who would make a better Pope then yours truly.  I mean I kick ass at all the right times, I tell the truth, and I'm catholic.  It all addes up and you know it!
    The first thing I would do will be to change the name of the Catholic Church to Cathlico.  Because everyone knows thats a way better fucking name then Catholic.
   The second thing I would do when I'm the Pope would be kill all the Russians.  No one really likes those Communist fucks anyway!  Do you want to know how I know this (1) Rocky 4 (2) I sit next to one in my Western Civ class and he is a stupid bitch.  Fuck those Stalin loving dick smokers.  The only good thing to come out of that shit hole is vodka
   The third thing I would do is turn the Catholic church into an empire kinda like from Star Wars.  I as the Pope, will be the bad ass emperor.  With my army of Cardinals, Bishops, and elite Asian killing squad I will take over the world then move my focus to the universe.  Within 10 years I will rule everything known to man and more MUHAHAHA(Evil laugh). 
     When I take over the Universe the theme song of my empire will be "Money for Nothing" and when it is playing everyone has to stand up and dance.  And if some doesn't they will be shot in the balls with a shotgun, with a God damn shotgun.  Will Ferrelll will be the mascot of my empire because he is bitchin' funny.  Everyone will have to worship Count Bakula because he is super fucking kick ass bitch.  God bless the Count!!
   It is clear to see that I Richie Pottier should be the next Pope.  So to make this happen everyone should call a Cardinal and tell them to vote for me.  If you do this for me I will make you a General in my Cathlico empire.  You would want to do this because the spoils will be plentiful.  Things such as bitches and beer because God made beer and I like beer so God bless beer.  Holy shit Sin City is a kick ass movie.  Amen I say to you my sons and daughters

                                                               Love,
                                                           Emperor Pope R.P. the 2
                                                           "The King of all Whites"
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