TOP TEN WAYS O.J. SIMPSON IS LOOKING FOR THE REAL KILLERS
10. Gets on white courtesy phone at airports;  has them page the real killers
 9. Before sinking putt, takes a good look inside the cup to make
    sure they aren't hiding in there
 8. Dating lingerie models who are also top-notch detectives
 7. Signing autographs for money-no killer can resist a good autograph signing
 6. Offering reward of a free upgrade on next Hertz rental
 5. Braced up box on a stick in his backyard with a carrot inside it
 4. Bumper sticker on the Bronco: "Honk If You're the Real Killers"
 3. Once the bad guys find out super-psychic Dionne Warwick
    is on the case, they'll turn themselves in!
 2. All the furry little woodland creatures and birds have promised
    to help out their old buddy O.J.
 1. Hunkering down with a phone book and a Magic 8-Ball

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