| The Becky Ann Birkbeck Risk story | |
| "Dear Richard, There was a time years ago, when I was on the verge of leaving Chris. That's when I looked you up. Things weren't going well between us, and I was prepared to walk out and see if maybe you and I might start again. At first I was kind of swept away and thought it might've worked. Then I realized you were still with Donna, and 2 kids too boot! That's when it hit me that you and I could not have a future. Had it been any other woman you were with, I would've gotten over it. But that it was Donna, the very one who broke us up in the first place, and 2 kids, I knew that if I chose a life with you, my life would forever be tied to hers. And I didn't want that. When I realized you two were still together all tho not a "couple", I just had to shake my head in bewilderment. I figured if I was going to get a divorce and commit adultery, it had better be worth my while. But seeing my future, with her in it seemed rather bleak. You made a foolish choice Rich. Why didn't I tell you that we were having problems? Because I realized that one, you were still with Donna, and two, you are a very meloncholy individual. And yes at that time Chris and I were having problems, but I realized that going back to you wouldn't solve anything and would only cause a whole new can of worms to be opened. I realized that I would've been trading one set of problems for another. And yes I did pull away from you after that realization, because I knew I wouldn't be happy with you. I also knew afterwards that it had been cruel,(unintenially)to have even contacted you and gotten your hopes up. I hadn't thought things out. For my hasty and unexplained retreat, I apologize, as I did not want to hurt you. But at the time, I thought it was better leaving things unsaid. I take the blame for that, for just not being upfront and honest with you about that at the time. I'm sorry, truly. Had I done that, I would've left no doubt in your mind that a future was out of the question for us. And you could've gotten on with your life knowing for sure, and saved yourself a lot of postage and wondering. That is what I regret the most. That I wasn't honest with you. That's what haunted me all these years, not that I actually left you, but that I wasn't honest and forthcoming. I did care for you, but I instincivley knew, that we would not have made it. The passion between us was great, but it wouldn't have been able to sustain us for many years. Anyway. I got stuff to do. More later. Becky
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| Perhaps Becky was right about my choices; but, we all are where we are because of the choices we've made; Or perhaps, we become entrapped by them. And I guess that in the long run, it doesn't really matter... because Time always moves on. The fires of passion transfers over to a newer generation. The never-ending drive of life always shifts to the young, where passions spark fires with an urgency never felt before, where the "need to have" outweighs the cost of everything else, shifting the focus from "What was" to "What is". Death will extinguish the smoldering embers of passion's past. And life moves on.
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As of this writing: Becky currently lives in Utah with her two children and her husband Chris who is still in the service.
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