|
Yep, that's right. Your Mark with a Mouth has returned. Well, not the banishment hell that is the real world. But this is infact my debut in The Elite Wrestling Alliance. Or is it. Was I here when it was opened for 8 days and main evented by Tomagotchi?? If it was, I dont remember. I was probably drunk like the President at the time thinking it would work.
But I'm thinking why??? No not, Why Stone Cold Why... But... Why Prez Why?? Why submit us to a fate worse then death but that of another attempt at resurrecting a long gone fed that gave us such greats as Crazy Train and Pyro. Yeah Loner was in it as well as Shawn Hall and the weirdo formally known as Slayback... But why try to mimic what is not possible with the resourses you are limiting yourselves too??
Gone are the days of Slayback and his fucked up ways.. We will more then likely never see Eric 'Car Bomb' Crane wrestle again. Thunder is gone from us forever.. Force is a shell of his former self.. Krow is as uncharismatic as ever.. My past experiences with Loner have left him little less then dependable.. You all know my opinions of Nuke... stu, the donkey isnt even around... And our Champion Shawn Hall is no longer any fun..
In the wake of the this travesty we're handed the refuse that David Tyson no longer wanted to handle in Superstar Championshit Wrestling.. Idiots like The Jackel, Hardcore Icon, Jenny and Conrad. Brown holers who will never rise above the rank of United States title because they posess nothing important.. no defining characteristics.. nothing that sets them apart from the rest.. Even the idiots of the original EWA were fun.. These guys are just down right deplorable.
Yeah, there's the new guys to the EWA.. Arnold Layne, JC (spell my name right) Elle-Aay-Double Are - Eye - Ee - Double Tee, and Edward Stevens but theyre just going to be held back and over looked by others focusing on rehashed old fueds and battles??? DeGenerates vs Warriors.. Hall vs Loner.. What?!? No one grew the past year?? You mean they didnt let bigones be bigones? No one moved on with their lives and expanded their skills to throw us a curve and make us wonder what we missed?? Well, I'll tell you what you missed... Nothing..
Im sure the staff is hoping to deliver big with what was no doubt a heavy fued last year between these two factions.. But factions arent forever as much as we would like them too... Dont tell me that youre going to open up to high profile fued between a set of old enemies...
WWF Booker: Hey, Vince.. I like youre idea of the whole separate WCW/ECW thing from the WWF.. And even though the ratings slipped by two-tenths.. I know what we should do.. Lets bring back DX to fued with The Nation..It would RAWK!!!
I can gaurantee you that does not happen. Vince would have shot this guy in the face.. Then had someone kill his family and neighbors and his neighbors familys and neighbors. It doesnt happen that way. These new guys. They dont care about fueds that happened over a year ago. These guys are marks that look out for themselves only. They could care less about Avatars and Temples of Doom. Old School Rivalries. Todays wrestling marks only care about what is going on now and not what happened in the past. They want to be excited and not know what any relevant past between two sets of opponents. They dont care about a triple teir cage match that happened in what could have been the best match of all time. If its not in their results they dont care. It's all about booking..
After viewing Tuesdays show.. I started wondering if the EWA had hired Ric Flair as the booking commissioner.. First the staff shows up in a limo at the beginning of the show. Why?!? What purpose did this have?? To let the common everyday guy know that the leaders are all rich and can afford limos and will exploit it?? Then we're told about a match we're already having at the PPV. Two minutes into the first card we have our main event at the PPV.. Loner vs Shawn Hall... Now I know Ric Flair is booking this crap.. I hope theres not a Big Ol Cage Match Part Two. Yeah they want this to be big.. But starting off where was left off?? No new stips?? No new alliances?? No swerves?? No build up?? Welp, we can all just wait for the ArseWars PPV now.. No need to tune in to anymore shows. Because we should all know that the weekly cards are the infomercials of the big monthly PPV.. and if youve already given us what we intend to buy. Why keep advertising??
I guess theres the rest of the card too... Youve got your match with Larriett, Jenny.... Hardcore Icon.. You challanged Nuke.. You got him now.. Is this how its supposed to work.. How about I lay out a challanged to The Jackel for his US title?? Sweet. Four Matches for the PPV already set..
That's why i say. Why Prez Brian, Why??? Why must you submit us to reruns of reruns?? If we wanted SCW type matches and predictibility I would just go look at the SCW archives.. Why tarnish the EWA name again?? You really know what you should do?? Take your best guys. How ever many you have. Take them all. And goto a new fed. Dont reopen one. Goto a fed that is completly neutral to everything that the EWA hand has touched. Untouched by any of the Leaders. A place that hasnt heard of Loner or the Chaos Warriors. And take over that place. And that would rule. That would kick ass.. And that would be fuckin awesome. Just like Popeyes chicken. You know why. Because it wouldnt be a rerun. It wouldnt be rehashed. It would be an all out invasion of sorts with apex level talent. The talent that is here right now. But feel that old ways are still entertaining.
Im hoping Im wrong in my 'I Dont Like Anything' attitude, and things will change for the better... But what was supposed to be a ground breaking show. Was nothing short of disappointing. I hope someone fires Phil for lying through his teeth.. But the EWA really needs to come up with something quick.. The wrestlers need to come up with something quick.. Something that benefits both sides.. Because if the wrestlers just wait for things to happen, it's not going too.
I now return you to your regular scheduled jobbing...
Be Sure to check later this week for Ric Lobon's interview with Nuke...
|
