My Resume in DOC format

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it. (...i love this one)

Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back

Death is hereditary

Home is where the television is

It might look like I'm doing nothin', but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold

I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back

There is no problem so awful that you can'r add guilt to it and make it even worst!

Light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off as a part of cost cutting!

Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me!

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash!

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired!

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway!

Early to bed, early to rise, your girl goes out with other guys!

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books!

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something!

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others!

My Resume

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