from my uncle...
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 19:57:02
Subject: How are you doing?
We're sorry to hear about Jake. It all happened so fast, I haven't even talked to your mom yet. I hope your holding up OK.
If you haven't heard, Gidget had a baby boy this morning. Brendan James, 9lbs. at 1:39 pm. I know you're going through the worst time right now but I thought some good news might help.
We'll be back home probably Wednesday or Thursday. Call us if you need anything. I don't know how much help we can be from Atlanta but you never know.
You grew up to be a pretty special woman, kid. I'm proud of you.
Love, Uncle Marty
my mom...
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 22:56:11
Subject: Jake's tribute
Hi Toots,
I just read it and it's wonderful. I wish I'd known that much about him sooner. I think he'd be pleased. I will make sure Dad sees it.
Just one comment of a tech nature - Juno won't let me put accents on e's here, but fiancee has the accent on the first e, not the second.
I know, I know... "Oh, Mommmmm!" Sorry - I can't help myself <*shrug*>
*hugz*
Bill Haller, our choir director...my sister told me he really paid her for that bet they made oh so long ago, that she'd be a vegetarian by her freshman year of college...it was $100, and since she's lazy and didn't have a job at the time, it came in handy...
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 23:26:47
Hey babe,
Emails are a lousy way to send notes in a time like this, but....regardless.
I don't think there are really any words of comfort to offer when a person loses a spouse or partner. I know you want him back and I'm sure you feel cheated. One thing that will never change is that when you're with someone you love, the time spent together is always too short.
Sometimes the only thing we can do is count all our blessings until the hurt loses its edge.
Love always, Bill
Lauren, a good friend of Jake's up in NY...we used to get together to play Monopoly...
Date: Wed, 13 Sep 2000 15:06:37
Subject: Hey, it's Lauren...
Tori,
Thanks for the webpage...I didn't know Jake had a band, although I knew he had wanted one for some time. I will check it out when I'm done writing this. If you wanna send me a CD, that would be great.
I'm still in shock over Jake's passing. I've just been quiet, thinking about him since you told me. It's just weird that for two days before you told me, I was thinking about him and the times at the center...how he hated those times!! We still had a lot of great times though. I will miss him greatly. I'm ticked right now cuz i wanna call him or have him call me. I wanna talk and catch up. It doesn't seem fair.
I hope you won't be upset with me that I called the center and told them...it's just that everyone knows him so well there, the counselors and the kids. I didn't think you would call them. I also told Jessica Allen, an old friend of Jake's. I would imagine that you have told everyone else, or will tell them.
Please keep in touch with me Tori, even if it's just by email, I'd like that. I can't imagine the hurt and sadness you're going through now...it kills me to even try to imagine. You made a huge difference in Jake's life, you have to know that. Before you two met, he was sad a lot...he always wanted a special girl in his life, and then you came along. You made Jake very happy, so I thank you for making his last years the best! I wanted that for him, and I'm grateful he had it.
I will talk to you soon. Take care.
Hugs,
Lauren
Dismas, a good chat friend of my mom's...
Date: Wed, 13 Sep 2000 13:20:44
Subject: Thoughts
Dear Tori,
I moved for Love once. I did it about the same age as you did; I was 19 at the time, I believe.
I met her when I was playing my guitar on the street in Westwood, and she tossed a candy in my hat rather than cold hard cash.
I saw her on the bus a few days later, Total random accident. I recognized her and she and I got to talking. It turned out she was visiting a friend and she was from Ohio.
I moved out to Ohio two months later. So I think I understand a little of your motivations.
I could write volumes about her, but I won't inflict that upon you.
I am so sorry that Jake has passed away.
My mom died about 2 1/2 years ago, but that doesn't compare with having one's love die.
Regarding my mom's passing, I would move emotionally from OK to WEIRD to etc very swiftly. This lasted a few months. All I can say is expect similar mood swings and be careful of making major decisions in the heat of a swing.
I understand that there is a profound difference between losing one's mother and losing one's Love.
You and Jake gave each other Love.
That cannot be lost.
And Love, as I understand it, is something that makes both parties better people for having embraced it.
I think Jake is watching over you as my mom is watching over me. Of course I can't know this, but I believe it, and *that* is what matters.
Hi Mother.:)
Hi Jake.:)
Take care, Tori.
Warm regards,
Dismas (John)
my next door neighbor on the left side...i didn't even know she had email...
Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 16:15:22
Subject: Hello
Hi Tori:
I am so sorry about your lost. I wanted you to know that I am praying for you to be able to go on with your life, Know that if you need anything, I am here for you.
I have gone though some tough times in the last couple of weeks also. God only gives us what we can handle, even though we may not think so. Hang in there! Here is something that might help you:
we don't get past the pain. We must go through it. We can't go around it or over it or under it either. The path to healing through loss, which means the path to wholeness, requires that we incorporate our pain. To incorporate means to literally take the pain into our body (corps). We get to that place where joy and grief can live together by becoming whole. The process of healing, whether from a physical illness or from a catastrophic life disturbance is a transformational journey. We are changed in the process. The goal is not to be the "way we were" once again, the goal is to be more than we were before, to include more of life. Ultimately the goal is to include loss in our love and trust of life.
Love you
Queca
a snail mail card from my friend Karen from church...
"My heart shares your sadness."
Dear Tori,
I was stunned when I first heard of Jake's being hospitalized and then his so-sudden death. This young man had to be very special or he would not have had someone as special as you choose him for a partner!
I hope that your many memories of jake in happy tiems can give you some comfort.
Will you come home here for a break as you decide where your life will take you? If you do, I'd love to see you.
Love,
Karen (and Fred)
Lots of people (who could) are sending money...good thing too cuz i missed a lot of work, and we won't have jake's ssi to cover rent this month...plus we're trying to find a new place closer to the band, up in MB, and up there things are a little more expensive (also better paying jobs)...Karla sent me virtual flowers, but i couldn't print them out cuz my printer crapped out...