TORI
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Tori and this is my dummy Heather.

(HEATHER waves)

TORI
For our first trick, I will proceed to drink an entire glass of water, while Heather recites to you Proverbs 20, verse 1.

(TORI drinks water, HEATHER spits out water. TORI looks at HEATHER)

HEATHER
Drinking too much makes you loud and foolish. It's stupid to get drunk.

TORI
It's water.

HEATHER
That's what they all say.

TORI
Are you ready for the next trick?

HEATHER
You make me sound like a poodle.

TORI
Well, waht else should I call it?

HEATHER
Performance, act, segment, sketch, section, part, piece...

TORI
Okay, okay. Are you ready?

HEATHER
Maybe. What'll you give me?

TORI
A black eye in a minute.

HEATHER
I'm ready.

TORI
Okay. We will now do our impression of the famous deuling banjos.

HEATHER
Hey! Are you implying that because I'm made of wood all I'm good for is a musical instrument?

TORI
No! I didn't say that!

HEATHER
This is a disgrace to my profession AND my race.

TORI
Fine. We won't do deuling banjos. I'm sorry, okay? Are you happy now?

HEATHER
I don't like your tone of voice!

TORI
That's it! I'm sick of your attitude. I'm out of here.

(HEATHER sits there slumped over, then sits up on her own)

HEATHER
It's MY turn to be in control.

(HEATHER sings and dances. TORI comes back on stage and HEATHER collapses)

TORI
I leave you alone for one second, and look what happens

(drags HEATHER off stage)

That's what I get for wishing on the first star I see.

(TORI and HEATHER come back on stage)

TORI
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

HEATHER
You've been a wonderful audience.

BOTH
Bye-bye