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If you want to know everything about me, you are in the ri-ight place! This, this ladies and gentlemen, is MY life.

    My name is Megan Johnson. I was born in 1985 in Columbus Ohio, the youngest of 5 children belonging to Ellen and David Johnson. The residence I grew up at was on Geyer Dr., not far from the Hilliard area, off Feder Rd. I can tell you that because I don't care if you stalk the nasty people who currently live there and have mutilated my lovely childhood home.

     By the time I was two years old, my oldest brother had married and had a daughter. My next oldest brother had joined the army. By the time I had graduated from Kindergarden (which I attended at Maranatha Baptist Church, an upstanding organization of the highest degree) and was ready to enter first grade, my mother had decided to homeschool my older brother, sister, and me. Thus I entered 12 years of homeschooling, which is the best possible way to gain an education, if anyone cared.

     In 1994, my next brother got married and by 1995, he had a daughter. Also in 1995, my oldest brother moved out of Columbus and my parents bought land here in Champaign County. We moved in September of 1996, opening up a period in my life I like to refer to my "overdramatic sulking period" which lasted for an excessively long time. Enough about that. I had a miserable camp experience in 1998, met Kristine in 1999, and went to Jungle Jump-Off in 2000. Kristine and I have had many exploits I'll explain in detail in a few minutes. Or rather, when I work on this site again.

     I graduated from highschool in 2003, went to work at the Urbana Chakers theatre, quit less than three months later, and spent the time between September 03 and June of 04 in a wretched state of suicidal depression. In June 2004, I started attending summer courses at Urbana University, and have remained here since then. I worked in the library, quit, and now work for Dr. George who works for the university. More about my life will follow when I don't have a health test in 35 minutes that needs to be studied for. Good night, all.

The True Version.

The Not True Version.

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I was born on an alien planet in the earth-year 1885. At the age of 100, the age of maturity on that world, I was given a test for social acceptance. This test resembles remarkably the "eHarmony" compatability test, and it marked whether or not I was fit to enter our alien society, and if I was fit to enter, where I should be placed. I was not fit to enter, finding myself too logical and rational to work into the framework of the planet, and I was thus exiled to Earth for that and other ambiguous reasons. I arrived on Earth in a fishbowl in July of 1985. This fishbowl was retrieved by the nice Johnson people, who adopted me as their own. Fourteen years later, I met a similarly-exiled alien, Kristine, who had arrived in a lunchbox in 1985 as well. We plot to start a band, open a cafe called Postmortem's, take over the world, and write many excellent novels. According to internet sources, my exile will be up in 16, 43, or 58 years.