| Race Like Pee-Wee By: Mr. T 12/27/06 Just two days prior to this story I had given my wife a 1952 Schwinn Phantom. I had all the chrome redone, new tires, tubes, bearings, chain, pedals, ect. So I had took the bike out in front of my house to show it off to one of my friends that had came over to see it. He rode the bike up the street, and in front of my house. Of course, he commented on how nice the bike was, and that he thought it looked really good. After he finished riding it , my next door neighbor kid came out of his house, and grabbed his Trek bike. Now this kid is roughly 10 years old, and he we accompanied by his 2 other friends that were the same age. They all got on their bikes and rode up to the front of my house, where I had just gotten on my wifes bike. They looked at me, and the neighbor boy said "Hey , wanna race?" I told him, shoot man, you would be no match for me. Look man, I got a horn. Do you have that?" He promptly said "No, I don't want one." Then I said "Do you have a book rack" He stated "No, I don't want one, and besides, I hate books!" I then told him "Man, this bike is 50 pounds of American Muscle." The smart little neighbor kid then stated, "Man that is heavy, we would smoke you!" Then then asked me again "Come on man, wanna race?" I told them "I am too fast for you guys, I don't want to make you guys cry after I beat you." Then they all jumpped on their bikes and rode off down the road. At this time, I had went back up to my front porch where my friend had been waiting. I turnned around and saw the kids speeding off down the road, and I said to my friend,"Man I could somke those kids!" My friend responded "You should go race them, show the what the Schwinn is made of." So I continued to watch them ride away, and I jumped back on the bike, and told my friend "Go ahead and go inside and play the PS3, I have some kids to smoke!" My friend started to laugh as I rode off. I came up the the corner just one house down from where I live, and I could see the kids speeding down the block. By this time they were already half a block away. So already, I had to play catch up. So I started to pump those pedals faster then they had probly been pumped in the past 54 years. As I began to catch up to them, I started to honk that loud Schwinn horn. Bzzzzzz Bzzzzzzz At this point I felt like Pee Wee Herman in Pee-Wee's Big Adventrue when he was racing at the begining of the movie in the Tour De France. When they finally turnned around and saw me comming, I rang the bell that was attached to the handle bars, and they began to speed up as quick as they could. I gripped the handle bars tighter than ever, and moved my feet faster than before. The first kid that I started to pass was my neighbor kid. He was just lookin at me, as I looked over at him and said "I thought you said that you could somke me?" His other friends were just in front of me, less than a car length distance away. I rode faster and faster, and finally was able to pass them. Just as I managed to get past them, they saw a police officer two blocks away, and heading our direction. One of my neighbor's friends yelled "Its the police!" They instantly bothe cut off to the left side of the road, as my neighbor went to the right side. I continued going, and as the cop drove by, I just waved at him. After the cop hand rode past, I turnned around and asked the kids, waiting on the curb what happened, they told me "Man that was the cops. We don't have any helments!" I just laughed and said just remember that you guys got somked by a guy riding a 54 year old bike" I then began to laugh as I drove off. Now everytime my neighbor sees me riding around the neghborhood he always says "Honk the horn!" |