Thinking about it makes it worse. When you don't put the thoughts together and scamble through the situation you begin to see how SIMPLE the situation is. Then you start to put the facts together, thinking of all the gaps between each; the ones that you have missed, regrets which you try to fill in with wishes, and pain comes in between. Try to avoid it, cover it up with a blanket of hope and it becomes worse; waiting to explode on you with ache. Once again you are back to the stage of confusion. That same question slowly floats up from the forgoten spaces. You begin to come back to your sences and realize once more that this situation is too pure, that it is not as deviant as you create it to be. Let go and you are free... hold on, and you hold to struggle; but what is life with out it. Decisions destroy you inside, spliting you in half as though this was the last step that you will take.
Silence, takes control of your mind. Distance, evolves into reach. What must you think; you blame your self, a failure is what I am, for every chance that you had control over you have given away; why must this happen. Become one with your mind, and seize the next opportunity, let go of the past and grab the future. What good is my past, you ask your sefl, if it dashes through me with such sharp emotion. Why must you always come back to it? Fear. (to be continued)