| In May of 2000 I underwent probably the most life alterating thing I had ever, or will ever, go through. I decided after many years of thought (and one time backing out) to have a gastric bypass. I had been the "chunky" teen; and after two children had "blossomed" up to 298 pounds. I honestly felt this was my only hope. I felt that life would be so much better if only I didn't have all this extra weight to carry around. Life isn't that easy! |
| What does the Gastric Bypass do? A Gastric Bypass reduces the stomach's capacity for holding food, and bypasses part of the small intestine which leads to weight loss by limiting the amount of food you are physically capable of digesting. Should make it easy for anyone then right? WRONG! It doesn't take in the factor that food was actually an addiction for me. It was always there when I needed it. It was a way to celebrate. It was a way to console me. It was a boredom killer. You take away all that and what are you left with.To make matters even worse, I had decided before hand not to share with anyone (except for my husband at the time whom I was already seperated from) that I was having this procedure done. So now I didn't have food or friends to turn to. I went through an emotional rollercoaster ride afterwards. |
| I did lose weight really quickly without many medical complications. I will admit it was hard to still cook meals for my children daily knowing that I wouldn't be able to enjoy them. In fact it was probably 3 months before I had anything solid that most people would consider food. I did slip into a sort of depression--not only missing the foods~~~but the support of friends and family (as I still didn't want to share my procedure.) The toll this took after I shared my secret was huge. In fact, I lost friends over it. Perhaps they couldn't handle the change...perhaps they were hurt by me keeping a secret. I guess we will never know. The reason I never told anyone is : one I wasn't sure I was going to go though with it this time, two if I did go through with it I didn't want anyone talking me out of it, and three would probably have been I didn't want to rely on anyone. By April of 2001 I was ready for an abdominalplasty to help rid my body of the excess skin I carried around as I had lost almost 150 lbs. This took a huge toll on my body. To this day I am still not as physically well as I once was. Perhaps it was too much at once or perhaps I didn't care for myself as I should have. |
| Regrets? I don't know if I have regrets or not. I did lose the weight. Although it is a constant struggle to keep off. This is a life long life change. I do know now looking back that I was much more confident when I was 298 lbs. Perhaps it was becasue of the shield (the excess weight) I was able to hide behind. I enjoy shopping more now. It is so much easier finding clothes. Another change I have noticed is that I dress differently as a lighter person~~~~and contrary to what most people would think~~~I dressed more "provacative" as a BBW. If you would like to talk further about my procedure, or if you are considering one yourself......please feel free to email me. |
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| I am not sure if I named this page right but this is how I felt~~that it was when my life changed! I have tried to share how I felt and also pictures prior to it--even though they were far and few between. |
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| I chose this song for the page as I often listened to it when I was alone as I felt no body knew how I was feeling as I wouldn't let them in. |
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| Pic of me taken with my friend, Cheryl in November 1999 |
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| Taken 1 month before surgery-- Weight:298lbs |
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| 1999 |