Title: Chaos Rules When We're Apart
Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono
Rating: PG
Category: Vignette, Romance
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance
Spoilers: None
Summary: Like the title says, chaos rules when 
                 we're apart...

This was inspired by the lyric from Garbage's 
'When I Grow Up'.

To make it clearer Mulder's parts are in << >>, 
and Scully's parts are in :: ::

Archive: Wherever, Gossamer especially (not the poem 
archive, because this is not a poem!!) anyone else just 
tell me where it goes.

Feedback: Please?  My addy is RhiaRamsay@aol.com

Disclaimer: not mine.

Chaos Rules When We're Apart
Elizabeth L. Iacono



<<Chaos.

When I'm not with Scully the world is chaos.  Left 
becomes right, up becomes down.

Emotions flare and strike without her presence there 
to reign me back in.  Actions never well thought out 
rule rather than her well knowledged answers.

Order has no place when I'm alone, when I'm without 
her.  What was believed to be right is wrong, what 
is wrong could be right, I can't tell.  It's not 
how I want to be.

I want to be happy.  I want to be calmed.  I want 
to be with her.

I want to go home.>>


::Chaos.

When I'm not with Mulder the world is chaos.  Not 
the usual disorder of chaos, but a closed in sort 
of chaos.

The passion that he brings out in me is trapped 
inside, turning me into a cold person whose soul 
is trapped behind walls only he can scale.

He knows how to bring my soul out.  He knows how to 
make me feel, make me feel happiness, make me feel 
wonderment, make me feel young, make me feel bright 
and new again.

He makes me feel loved.

I want to be loved.  I want to be with him.

I want to go home.::


<<I have to make my way to her, make my way through 
the chaotic world to a place where I am at peace.

To get to her, to get home I have to brave the 
challenges.  I must brave people who mock me, mock 
my quest in life, things designed to bring me down.

I can't let them get to me.  I can't let them distract 
me from getting to her, from getting home.

It's a quest where I am the knight and I am trying to 
get home to my lady, the lady who has shown me a love 
I have never known before.  A love I want to experience 
every day of my life.

But in order to have that I must face the monsters, both 
within and without.

Soon though, I will be with her.

Soon I will be home.>>


::I try to get to him, but it is not easy.  There are 
things blocking the path.

People telling me that he's not worth it, that I'm much 
better than him.  That he doesn't deserve me.  That he 
doesn't need me at all.

But it's not true, I know that.  I know he needs me 
like I need him.  Like we both need air to stay alive.  
He deserves me, he deserves love, plain and simple.

Then there are the more immediate blocks.  The people 
whispering behind my back about how I am a cold fish, 
how I have no emotions.  I know that is not true.  I 
know I can feel and I can love, and it's thanks to him.

Soon I will be with him, the one who makes me feel.

Soon I will be home.::


<<I'm almost there.  I'm almost with her.  I see her 
apartment door coming closer.

I feel myself calming down, yet becoming filled with 
expectation.  I know I will see her soon.  I know I 
will feel that happiness I so rarely find.

The happiness she brings me.

The door opens and I see her there, sitting on the 
couch.  Her red hair gleaming in the light of the 
fading sun.  But to me, the sun is not fading, the 
sun is rising with the birth of something wonderful 
about to happen.

She sees me, and her face breaks out into a smile, 
a smile I know now belongs to me alone.  A smile that 
makes me feel loved.  She approaches me and I open my 
arms, waiting for her to fit to me, making us both 
whole again.

I feel her press her lips to mine, and my eyes flutter 
shut.  The chaos of the day is now drifting off into 
the distance.  I'm with her.>>


::I reach my apartment, but he's not here yet.  I'm 
not worried though, I know he will be here soon.  I 
know that he needs me too, now more than ever after 
spending this day apart.

I sit down on the couch and wait, my body almost giddy 
in the knowledge that soon he will be here, soon we 
will be together again.

I can't wait.

Soon I hear the door lock clicking and I turn around 
to see him there, and he's smiling.

I feel myself smiling back, smiling back in that open 
smile destined only for him.  The smile that knows I'm 
expressing my true feelings, that I'm happy, that I can 
feel alive again, that I feel loved.

My legs move from under me, and I'm walking over to 
him.  His arms begin to open in that invitation that 
makes me let down my barriers even more.  I feel my 
body mold to his and I know that this is right.

I press my lips to his and as my eyes close, I feel 
my passion emerging once  more.  I'm with him.::


<<And as we kiss, a kiss that soothes my soul, one 
thought runs through my head.>>


::As we kiss that kiss that kiss that makes me feel 
alive, I can only think of one thing.::


<<I'm home.>>


::I'm home.::

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The End!

Did ya like it?  Hate it?  Either way feedback 
can never hurt!

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'True love, it's the
greatest thing in the
world.'

Miracle Max
The Princess Bride

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'Men will fight bravely
and be heroes, but for a
last ditch defense against
any odds, get a mother.'

Lightbringer
High Wizardry

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