Today would have been my mom and step-dad's 24th wedding anniversary. Since I haven't been journaling lately a lot of things have been occuring that I haven't written about. I'll try to hit the highlights. Drew and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Memorial Day weekend. We went to NYC on Saturday and then Boston on Sunday and Monday. We had a great time and since then, I've noticed that I don't get upset nearly as much about our wedding day because I think about our anniversary celebration. Perhaps the healing is almost complete. Time, and prayer, really does take that pain out of most wounds. I'd like to go back to Boston again and see more of the historical sites.
We've met new people and made new friends at church over the last three months. We've also been going to a weekly Bible study on Monday nights that has been a huge spiritual growth motivator. Drew has taken up fishing and some hunting with a couple that goes to our church. I join them for fishing but am not so inclined to go hunting with them. However, Drew would really like us to participate in a hunter safety course that is also being offered through the church. I'm still thinking about it. I'm intimidated and scared by the thought of shooting a gun. Heck, I even get nervous sometimes when I have to cast a fishing line. I worry that I'll get it stuck on a tree or weeds or get tangled in another line. I haven't caught a fish yet.
Drew and I visited Grandpa in June and he was very weak and thin. He was also having a lot of trouble talking and enunciating his words. So I was having a difficult time understanding him and this explains why I was having so much trouble hearing him on the phone. I set up his cell phone for him and tried to explain how to use it. However, that still doesn't seem to be a reasonable soluation because he's struggling with the phone and doesn't have anyone there who will help him with it. My uncle Dave won't put me on my grandfather's chart so I can speak to the nurses about his recovery. The last ime I spoke to Dave he gave me so more information about how things are right now, but there's a lot of my questions that he doesn't know the answers and he won't ask the doctors or nurses. It's discouraging and I must have patience. I'm hoping to go back to Salisbury sometime this month or in September. Mom has been really supportive and she paid for the gas for me to drive back and forth from NY. If she hadn't helped me, I wouldn't have been able to make the trip.
Drew's parents came to visit in June for the first time since the wedding. They enjoyed themselves and we had a nice visit. Shortly after than Drew spent a couple weeks in DC for a studio build there. Since then he's been focusing primarily on service. I know he doesn't like this, which brings conflict between us because he complains about work when he comes home. I don't know what to say or do anymore about his job situation. I listen, but I've stopped trying to give him advice. I pray for him because that's all I know to do. I like where we're living now and like the church we're attending. I don't want to move but I know that's always a possibility. My job hasn't been easy this summer either but I'm enduring because I look forward to the prize at the end of the race. Christian, Bible-believing fellowship, a community that welcomes us, working towards becoming debt free, while still glorifying God and give back to Him what He first gave us. Ultimately I am content. Daily I struggle, but God is good all the time.
Over July 4th weekend we drove to Atlanta for Katie & RJ's wedding. It was a really great trip and we enjoyed spending time with family, meeting new people, and seeing a couple of the sites around Atlanta. I enjoyed the city a lot but it's just like most cities; lost of things to do but not always things we should be doing. The cost of living is much cheaper than NY. If we moved there we wouldn't be spending less on our living expenses, but we'd be getting more of our money. Of course Drew's ready to move there now. I'm just waiting. We'll see. We always do.
Finally, James and Christina had their baby boy on Monday, July 28th. We're hoping to visit them on Labor Day weekend. Also, my sister Mary had her baby on Thursday, July 31st. She also married the father of her baby on July 17th. My nephew is James Arthur Shipley, son of Joseph and Mary Shipley. No one called me to tell me he was born. I called to see how Mary was doing. I don't know when or if I will ever meet him. This world is not my home.
And my brother and Joyce are engaged.
.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.
Monday, 6/30/2008
Well, the diet was going well for about 2 months and then last week I just completely lost it. I thought I was doing everything right and I had lost 12 pounds but then one night I had already eaten dinner and my fill of calories that day when I got so hungry that my stomach started hurting and I was nearly doubled over with pain. So I ended up eating a whole other meal and finally felt better, but it meant that I'd eaten almost double my calorie intake. And I felt so weird from the hunger pains that I didn't feel very confident about exercising and not passing out. Since that night I've been eating a lot more than I "should" to make sure I'm not hungry and I've gotten lazy about exercising because I sort of feel like there's no point. If I have to eat twice my calorie intake to not be hungry, then I exercise, I'll still be gaining weight instead of losing.
.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.
Wednesday, 4/30/2008
It's the last day of April... I'm feeling really lonely. I'm feeling incredibly isolated from my peers. I don't know anyone my age who is interested in the things I like, or isn't obsessed with a lifestyle that I abhor. I don't feel comfortable or find it fun going to clubs, bar hopping, spending lots of money on really expensive food, or sitting around talking about how Obama or Hillary are the greatest things since sliced bread. But I don't want to spend any time with people who are condescending and judgmental about that lifestyle. I just want to hang out, talk about life and movies and music and cool places to check out without having to combat the godlessness that surrounds and permeates throughout my generation. I love knitting, reading, talking about intelligent topics (not just current events), and no one is stepping up to the plate. I don't think I'll find peers like that until I go back to school again. Or maybe I never will and I'll keep spending time with older people, the ones stuck between mine and my parent's generation. It will be whatever it will be and I'll learn to be content. But I'm lonely right now.
.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.~*~.
Thursday, 2/28/2008
This morning on my way to work I was challenged by the Holy Spirit to renew a right spirit in myself. I've been listening to Pastor Jack Hibbs' teachings in the normings on my way to work and he's been preaching through the book of Acts for a while now and really pushing home the fact that Paul's strongest testimony was the consistency of his message of salvation throughout the 30+ years of his ministry and his commitment to live his life without compromising God's teachings in His Word. I was convicted of my own life since accepting Christ and that when my life became harder because of this world and my convictions, I would take the easier route of complacency in my walk in order to be instantly gratified instead of running the race and fighting the good fight, even if it meant being rejected, ostracized, ignored, and left behind. Now my own testimony has been tainted because of it and all I can say is I was wrong, I made mistakes, I was a hypocrite, and I'm sorry. I prayed for God's forgiveness and His guidance for my daily walk. I also prayed that He would reveal to me every time that I would act out or speak out against His will so that I will be more aware of my actions and words. I know that out of the mouth comes all that is in the heart and I'm so thankful that God can change my heart. I have grown cold toward the things of the Lord and have hidden behind my own abilities and my own anger toward God instead of trusting Him. I want that to end today. I want to be washed and renewed in the Holy Spirit, start new with a pure heart that seeks to serve the Lord and minister to His creation.