It's been about 3 weeks since I last updated and times have been both great and horrid simultaneously. Emotions are so freaking uncontrollable and difficult to deal with most of the time. They're spontaneous, unpredictable, and more often than not completely unexplainable and tend not to be grounded in facts and reality. So why do we have them at all? As the occasional indicator and warning sign. The problem is that I tend to put too much stock into what I'm feeling at a certain moment and less into the reality of a situation and the facts that I know to be true about the circumstances. I'm getting tired of living life with a cloud of depression, anxiety, guilt, and grief hanging over everything I do. Things that should make me joyful aren't because I can't wash away the dulling gray that has slowly crept into every facet of my thoughts. Yes, it's sad. It's time to take control and change that.
This past weekend brought rays of sunshine... literally. It finally stopped raining and on Saturday I saw the sun for the first time in 10 days. I took Drew to MD with me so I could introduce him to my friends and family. We drove down on Friday night in the pouring rain (ugh!) and finally reached the house around midnight, where my brother had about 15 loud friends over. They stayed up all night.
We went to the Renn Fest on Saturday with Barbara, Stacy, Paul, Jay, and some of Drew's college friends (Jocelyn and Louis). Puke & Snot were hysterical as usual, as was Hilby. My feet were killing me by the end of the day... note to self, don't wear shoes with super thin soles to a place where most of the ground is covered in rocks. The Jocelyn, Louis, Drew, and I went to dinner with some other Grove City College folk/Ohio peeps. That was a blast... just so much fun to hear everyone's funny stories about college, work, dating, life, etc. Then we all went swing dancing in Ellicott City. Boy did I miss doing that. And to put the cherry on top, one of the guys that we had gone to dinner with is actually a swing dance instructor in Ohio. So he taught me and Drew how to do the pretzel!!!!!! *super huge grin* I've been wanting to learn that dance move since I was in high school but no on has been willing to learn it with me while also having someone around willing and/or able to teach it. So we were doing all kinds of twists and turns, jumps, small aerials, tons of spins... fun times! My arm muscles are still a little sore, but it was worth it.
On Sunday we went to the Ravens v. Browns game @ M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore. We both enjoyed the game, though there were a couple times when there were some downers. The game wasn't really that great just because there wasn't really enough competition to maintain the excitement. I was happy because the Ravens won, but I felt sorry for Drew since he's a bigger Browns fan than I am a Ravens fan and his team lost. We went with friends of mine (a husband/wife couple that I used to work with the wife) who even though they were Ravens fans too, they were super nice to Drew. And Brett said that he had Drew's back if anyone tried to start something. There were some guys that were sitting behind us that were just being super obnoxious though. They weren't Ravens fans or Browns fans... they were fans of the cheerleaders and the beer. So I was really wishing I could bind and gag them all with duct tape. Drew was periodically getting harassed (read expletives being yelled at him) by some of the Ravens fans (read incredibly drunk @$$#0!3$) because he was wearing his brown and orange colors. That really made me upset because it was just plain rude and ignorant. As Gwen and Brett put it, they're more lost souls. We shouldn't be angry at them, we should be sad for them. They're right, but I have a fiery temper. And to wrap up on a positive note, the guy sitting in front of us during the pre-game was a friend of Gwen and Brett's who had lived in NY for many many years and for the last 17 years has been the Athletic Director at UMBC! So it's always good to meet new people that you randomly find out you have a lot in common with. After the game Drew met my mom very briefly on Sunday evening before we had to head back to NY. We didn't get home until midnight again. Needless to say, I'm completely exhausted today. But at least driving back I didn't have to deal with the rain.
Speaking of random occurrences, while at the Renn Fest and waiting for Stacy to finish getting her hair braided, Barbara and I were talking about all the flooding in New Paltz. The girl working at the hair braiding place interrupted and asked if I had said New Paltz, NY. She had gone to school at SUNY Albany but had a friend that she had visited a few times who went to school at SUNY New Paltz. So we were talking about the Main Street Bistro, Bacchus, I told her about the Guilded Otter... it was nice to meet someone who knew where I live. And the other random occurrence was that Jocelyn couldn't shake how familiar Paul and I looked. Come to find out, she went to AACA and was in their color guard, so she had probably seen me around when I was in marching band at Old Mill. And her church had been using mine and Paul's church for AWANA meetings so that's probably where she has seen Paul. Craziness!
And lastly, I celebrated a couple anniversaries since my last update. October 5th - the day I started @ SUNY, October 15th - the day I moved into my first apartment. The irony is that on 10/5 this year, I wasn't at work the while day because I had to drive to La Guardia Airport in Queens to pick up Drew. On 10/15 this year, I wasn't even at my apt. because I was in MD at the Renn Fest. But the time has certainly flown by, and though I'm still me, I've changed and so has life... quite a bit.
Until next time...
Later days :)