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AUTHOR: Lissy
AUTHOR E-MAIL: [email protected]
RATING: PG
GENRE: Romance/drama
OTHER SHIPS: a few G/H hints
SPOILERS: none
SUMMARY: Ron and Hermione realize something very strange has happened to them one morning, and they must do something about it.
DISCLAIMER: Not one bit of Harry Potter is mine, not Hermione, not Ron (though I wish), not Ginny, not any of them, so don't try to say I've stolen anything. I've merely..borrowed, per say.
A/N: This is the only chapter. It originally was three, but I've squished this all here into one to make it longer. Plus, I've changed the ending to kill off the not really R/H-ness. Happy reading!
Switched
One bleary day in March, during Harry Potter's 5th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we join our favorite three as they begin their Saturday.
Hermione Granger woke up early as always. She felt definitely strange as she stood up, stretched, and looked around her dormitory.
There was something wrong. Why was Harry in there? And where were...
'Goodness, what happened?' she muttered to herself. She was most likely in the boys dormitory, but how had she gotten there, and..she looked around again. Why was Ron missing?
Hours later, Ron Weasley woke up, late as always. He also looked around the dormitory and thought that it looked sort of girlie, but didn't really think much of it.
He ambled to the bathroom to shower, and was shocked to find that Parvati was showering in there already. This freaked him out, and also embarrassed him, for he turned bright red. So he backed out of the room quickly.
He looked around the dormitory again, then decided he didn't want to enter that bathroom anytime soon, and to just go down to breakfast. He went to the trunk at the foot of the bed he'd been sleeping in, and opened it. There were some robes in there, and he pulled them out. They looked really small and short, but when he held them up to his body, they fit perfectly. So he put them on, only to discover that he had breasts.
This scared him, so he ran to a mirror quickly. The face looking back at him was not his own. It was Hermione's.
When Hermione had taken a shower that morning, she had kind of realized that she was not in her own body. She also looked in a mirror, and realized that Ron was looking back at her. As she examined the reflection, she decided that he was cute, very cute. But then she mentally slapped herself for thinking of that at a time like this.
'What should I do, I'm in Ron's body!! What if he's still in his, and sees me? Or worse, what if he's in mine?' she thought.
She decided to just go down to the Great Hall and see what was up. It was quite odd for her to be so tall, and she knew she must have looked odd, because she wasn't ambling the way Ron did, she was walking primly so as not to fall over.
When she arrived, she saw that indeed, there was no Ron in his body there, but there was someone in her body whom she knew must be him.
She sat down at the table, not saying anything.
"What's the matter, Ron?" Harry asked, looking at Hermione.
She didn't say anything, forgetting, for a moment, what she looked like.
"Ron?" Harry asked, waving a hand in front of Hermione's face.
"Huh? Oh, ummm...nothing," Hermione said, marveling at how weird her voice sounded.
"You're really quiet. Matter of fact, so is Hermione," Harry said, gesturing over at Hermione's body. "Did...you have a row?"
"No," said Ron, in Hermione's body. "No, no. What makes you think that?"
"Just...last year, and third, after you had fights, you were always so quiet to each other and so I...well, anyway. What's wrong?" Harry said.
"Nothing, like the g-I mean, like Ron said!" snapped Ron.
"Harry, I'm tired, is all. I was st-er...playing chess late last night," said Hermione.
"And I was doing...some extra work!!" said Ron.
"Hmmm..." said Harry, thinking something was wrong, but not really wanting to pry.
"Hermione, can I speak to you privately for a moment?" Hermione asked, thinking that it was so very odd to call someone else by her own name.
"Sure, where at?" Ron asked.
"Er...just come on," Hermione said.
They went to the owlery, where there weren't normally very many people.
"What happened?" said Ron the moment they got there.
"I don't know. But...you know, this is really strange, standing here talking to myself?" Hermione said.
"Uh huh. Well, what can we do about it, Ron?" said Ron.
"I don't know! Act like each other, I guess...Hermione," said Hermione, feeling odd towering over Ron.
"For the rest of our lives? Do you know how odd it will be to pretend to like..ugh, boys?" Ron said.
"Well, what about me? It'll be disgusting to pretend to like girls.." said Hermione.
"But what can we do? Tell Dumbledore? WHAT?" Ron said, trying not to yell.
"But I don't think he could really...well...help, could he? Maybe...erm..." Hermione said.
"WHAT, HERMIONE?" yelled Ron. "WHAT?"
"I DON'T KNOW, OK, Ron?" Hermione said loudly.
"Well, figure it out, oh genius, because I'm already sick of looking like you," Ron said.
"Well, what do you think I feel like? Ugh, do you even brush your teeth? They feel carpeted," Hermione said.
"Ahem, yes I DO brush my teeth, thank you very much. How tall exactly are you, then? Like 5'?" Ron asked. "Because I feel like a midget."
"I'm 5'5, thank you VERY MUCH," Hermione said. "And you're sure you brush? Morning and evening?"
"I brush. Bugger off, Ms. Granger," Ron said.
"What if I don't want to, Mister Weasley?"
"Bloody hell, Hermione, I've had enough of you," Ron said.
"That's fine. That's just fine, because I'm leaving!" Hermione said, storming off.
"Now where can she get off to?" Ron muttered. "She can't go in the girl's toilet looking like that, now can she?"
Hermione in fact went back to the boy's dormitories. They were deserted, which was good, for she needed a good cry.
About ten minutes after she arrived, Ron came in after her. "You know you just can't leave, don't you? We need to come up with a PLAN, Hermione, a PLAN!"
"Leave me alone, Ronald Weasley. Get out," Hermione said.
"Hermione, for one, this is my dormitory. And for two, we can't just run around looking the way we do without a plan, can we?" Ron said.
"But I'll be sleeping here for a while, so I can say 'Get out' if I want to. Though I suppose you're right. We've got to get along. No more fighting, ok? Truce?" Hermione asked.
"That's better. Truce," Ron said.
Over the next few hours they developed a plan as to how to act, talk, walk, and even how to eat like each other.
Hermione learned so much about Ron that she'd never even known. Like how his brothers had always teased him, and made him feel like a baby, and how he'd had to be sarcastic and witty to survive in a house with Fred and George.
In turn, Ron learned tons about Hermione too. Like how her parents had always been so dissatisfied with her grades and such when she'd went to normal school that she saw this as an opportunity to start over and prove herself.
By the time they were done, they felt as though they knew each other from top to bottom. Ron had helped Hermione learn a few sarcastic comments, and Hermione had helped Ron try to control his temper. They had even decided to stage a fight, which they thought would be great fun.
By the time they were done, it was nearly lunchtime, so the two went downstairs to eat.
"OK...amble, head down, shuffle feet," Hermione was muttering to herself.
"Head high, walk nicely, back straight," Ron was muttering to himself.
"Guys, where have you been?" Harry asked, running up to them. "I've been hanging out with Ginny all morning because I couldn't find you after breakfast!"
"Oh, we were, um..." Ron said quickly. "Er...."
"Studying," Hermione quipped.
"Yes, I was helping Ron with the...umm...Transfiguration essay due tomorrow. Yes, that's it," Ron said uncomfortably.
"Were you really? Are you guys sure nothing's wrong? You've not been..." Harry started, looking from one anxious face to the other.
Hermione came in quickly, trying to sound angry. "Nothing's wrong, all right? Quit bothering me, it's getting annoying."
"What the...Right, Ron, umm...I'll see you later, I guess?" Harry ran off, looking somewhat frightened by what Hermione had just said.
"Wonder what he was doing with Ginny all morning, eh?" the real Ron said wonderingly. "Perhaps they..."
"No, I don't think Harry is quite brainy enough to have caught on, because boys are entirely blind sometimes," Hermione said, smiling superiorly.
"We are-I mean, umm..they are not!! They just...er...Well, us girls aren't exactly a treat to deal with, are we?" Ron said hotly.
"Ah, but we boys must be completely blind sometimes not to notice what you girls are trying to tell them," said Hermione staring down into her own eyes.
"Are you trying to say that you boys don't notice signals when we girls are making them?" Ron asked, grinning.
"I suppose I am," Hermione said, smiling slightly. "Though I suppose you personally don't make signals, being perfect Miss Granger and all."
Ron scowled at the situation he'd been forced into. "I never said that."
"Oh really?" said Hermione, arranging Ron's face into a surprised statement. "Then what did you say?"
"I didn't, you started the conversation," Ron said, chuckling inwardly.
"Hang you, Hermione, you're too smart for me!" Hermione said, grinning. This was fun. She could completely ruin Ron's reputation if she wanted to. Not that she did, for he could also do the exact same thing to her.
"What's so bloody funny?" Ron asked, then clapped a hand over his (Hermione's) mouth.
"Hermione! Where did you pick up that word?" Hermione asked, feigning surprise.
"Aha, hello brother, and future sister, what brings you two to this part of the school at this time of day?" came a voice directly behind them, clapping his hands on their shoulders.
Hermione turned around, then assumed that Ron would be angry at this, and said something quickly. "Fred, shut up before I rearrange your face! I don't like Hermione, she's ugly and way too smart!"
Ron grimaced at this.
"Who-ho-ho, little bro, what's up your butt?" came George's voice directly on the other side of Hermione.
"Nothing! Hermione's just my friend, all right? Nothing more or less!" Hermione said, trying to make feeling be in her voice.
"Is that so? Well, I do believe we need to have a short chat, for that wasn't what you said-" Fred started.
"A bit ago," George finished for him.
They grabbed Hermione by each arm and pulled her away, as she stared back at Ron, who was standing there with shock written all over his face.
"Ta ta, Miss Hermione!" the twins called out in unison back at Ron.
Hermione was dragged all the way to the 7th year boy's dorms, where the door was promptly locked, and she was pushed onto one of the twin's beds. She gazed around, grimacing at some of the posters.
"Now then, dear brother, what's this about Hermione Granger being ugly? Earlier this summer you seemed to think she was perfectly lovely!" said one of them.
"Nothing, I just changed my mind!" Hermione muttered angrily, while really being quite shocked. "Isn't a fellow allowed to do that? Or is there a new rule that I don't know about?"
"Changed your mind so quickly, did you? And what happened this time? Another row? Or perhaps...hmmm...she rejected you?" said one of the twins; Hermione had never been able to tell them apart.
"No, umm...actually...she liked me too!" Hermione said.
"So...the problem was....what, exactly?"
"She...er...studies too much! And she never lets me have..fun!"
"We see. Now, may I ask, what made you love her so much before?"
"I er...don't know what got into me, but...er...can I go now?"
The twin started pacing, like a detective. "No, we're not through with you. Let us see...Little brother, we Weasleys are famous for our love lives, don't you know? There isn't a single Weasley for over a hundred years that remained single. And then, once married, the Weasleys also have a ton of kids, but that's not happening for at least a month or two, eh?" the twin winked, and Hermione stuck her tongue out at him.
"So what does this have to do with Hermione Granger?"
"Just that I don't think there's anyone else here who's as smart as she is, and it's the smart ones we go for, eh, George?"
"Please. May I go now?"
"If you want, but I warn you, she's the one for you!"
Hermione walked out the door after they'd kindly unlocked it for her. Was this true? Did Ron really like her? Were her wildest dreams finally coming true? Or was this another of Fred and George's schemes?
***
Ron was amazed at the things Hermione had said about herself. Was that really what she thought he thought of her? Or was she making that up? He was so confused. What should he do? Ask her about it? Or just assume that she didn't like him?
'Wait, there she comes!' said a voice in his head. 'What to say?'
"W-What happened, H-Hermione?" he asked stutteringly.
"They locked me in and interrogated me. So I just told them you didn't like me, and made them let me go. Is that OK?"
"F-fine, I suppose. It's the truth, nonetheless," he said, his voice faltering slightly.
"O-oh. That's fine then. We're good, right?"
"Y-yeah," he cleared his throat. "Erm...Hermione?"
"Yeah?"
"I...er...um....never mind. What did the twins have to say, besides that they thought I...er...you...er...whatever...liked me or you or whoever?"
"They said....well...they said that Weasleys are famous for their love lives...and er...that no Weasley in over a century has remained single...and that...they have loads of kids....and...so I asked what that had to do with me...er...you...er...yeah..so they said that they go for the smart ones...and umm..they said that I was the one for you...er...me...yeah...so then I begged to leave and they let me go," Hermione said breathlessly.
"Ooh, look, it's the Weasel having a heart-to-heart with the Mudblood! How very sickening," came a drawling voice from behind them that could only be Malfoy.
"Shut it, Malfoy," Hermione said, whipping around.
"And what if I don't? Will the precious little Weasel come make me?"
"He just might," Hermione said, narrowing her eyes.
"Ooh, I'm so scared!" Malfoy drawled.
"Fine, have it your way," Hermione said, stepping forward. She was fully prepared for the curse that flew at her, and dodged, while throwing a nasty one back at Malfoy himself. He, fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on whose opinion you want, was hit and fainted.
Ron stepped on his face purposely while passing by, and Hermione treaded on his hands.
"Wow, Hermione...that was something. What curse was that, anyway?"
"Just one I picked up somewhere...y'know, in a book."
"Oh. Well, then...ummm...d'you..er...wanna...maybe..aw, shove it. Do you...wanna go somewhere, oh, I dunno, more private?"
"Well, I guess we could," she said softly.
"OK," he said breathlessly. "Let's go to...erm...NOT the Owlery. Perhaps...the Prefect's bathroom? We're at least both allowed in there."
"Good," she said, glowing pink and following Ron to the bathroom.
"Er...Hermione?" Ron asked, gazing up at her.
"Yeah, Ron?"
"Fred and George were right...I'm sorry I never told you before, but becoming a girl has made me all odd and emotional...and...uh...yeah."
Hermione smiled. "Hey..well, never mind. I never said anything either, but I actually feel the same way."
"Really? I never knew...damn, don't I feel stupid...Heh, about Vicky-I mean, Viktor Krum and everything..." Ron smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too...I flaunted him..and well...." she leaned over and kissed him.
The world spun round and round. They were in the air. Both of them closed their eyes tightly as they fused together; they couldn't have let go if they'd wanted to. Then they landed with a bump, and Hermione fell to the ground.
Ron opened his eyes and saw Hermione lying there, eyes still closed. Then he realized she was her again, so he must be...He looked himself over-himself, too! He then rushed to her side. "Hermione, wake up! You're you again, and I'm me!" she still was lying there, so Ron took some water from the bath and splashed it on her. Only then did she wake.
"R-Ron? You're...YOU! So I'm me? It worked? We're not switched anymore? Oh, this is great! How did it happen? What did we do?"
"You mean you don't remember?" he asked worriedly.
"I remember...OH!" her eyes opened wide. "We-We kissed, didn't we?"
"That we did."
"Oh."
"Listen, maybe we should go back to the Common Room now, I mean..it's getting kind of late and Harry must be worried sick," Ron said softly.
And so they walked away, hand in hand.