Viki laughed softly. "No. That I would not have done. I can understand why you did though. Sam, Blair took advantage of you. She saw you were having doubts about yourself and she worked you. That is what she does. She preys on people's vulnerabilities. It's how she learned to function in this world. She did it to Todd to get him to marry her. She did it to him when Starr was a baby to gain visitation with Starr even when legally she wasn't entitled to it. Even Téa gave in and allowed Blair more visits with Starr than the court ordered."

"Téa didn't put Todd's life in danger, the way I did." Sam glanced at Viki as he said that. He quickly looked away, not waiting for her reaction.

Viki took a deep breath. She knew this had to be said. "Honey, you're ill. Your judgment was off because everything in your life is now being colored by your illness. I know what that is like."

Sam continued to look away.

Viki saw a tear slide down his cheek. She took both of his hands in both of hers. "I do know what that is like," she repeated tenderly.

"I don't know what's true and what's real anymore," Sam confessed. "The great judgment and instinct I prided myself on are gone. Gone, hell! It never existed. If it had, I would have heard Todd's cries and screams before Peter Manning had a chance to destroy him."

"Todd is not destroyed!" Viki said firmly. "He is still very much alive and fighting with all his might. Susannah believes Todd had a breakthrough of some kind while at the summerhouse. Something good might have come of Todd running off there."

"If he survives this illness. We almost lost him, Viki. Just now in that ICU, our kid almost died." Sam began to weep.

Viki took him in her arms again. "He didn't. Sam, he didn't. Todd is holding on. He's fighting. We think something happened that led him to believe he can have the life with Téa that he wants. We think he came to believe that he is worthy of our love. Perhaps he was even able to feel it. Todd will put up the fiercest fight of his life now. Sam, I believe that. Téa is fighting just as fiercely. They need us to help them . . . to be there for them and be strong."

"You, Viki. They need you. I've done nothing but allow Todd to get hurt all his life," Sam said with a look of self-disgust on his face.

"No, us. Todd needs his dad . . . the man who should have been his dad all along. Don't take that away from him just when he might finally be able to feel the tremendous amount of love you have for him. Don't take away the daddy the children love and need so desperately." Viki paused for a moment. She squeezed Sam's hands. "Don't take away the man I love and need."

Sam looked into Viki's eyes for the first time.

She continued. "Sam, it isn't just for Todd and the children. I think you know that. If your judgment and instinct told you that I love you and bless the day you came into my life as well as Todd's they were flawless."

Sam pulled Viki into a tight hug. "I love you. I swear I do. The way I feel about you and Todd is the only thing in my life that I'm still sure about. I'm so sorry that I betrayed your trust in me to take care of Todd. I'm sorry that I've messed up things so much that I might have to go to prison and leave you. I know I need help. I know it! I don't know what's happening to me. I'm afraid," Sam whispered the last two words.

Tears splashed down Viki's cheeks. "I know you are. I've been very ill physically and mentally. Mentally is much more terrifying. While not all physical and mental illnesses can be recovered from, I'm living proof that with the right help, a person can recover from both kinds of illness."

"You and Todd are both brave enough to face your demons. I guess now it's my turn."

"You won't be alone. Sam, you know that? You will never be alone."

Sam nodded. He leaned into Viki and whispered. "I think I'm going to be detained on the psych unit here for a few days. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing!" Viki smiled. "I think once he gets over his initial worry about you, Todd, with that sometimes awful humor of his, will see some irony in you becoming a patient on a psychiatric unit."

"Maybe Susannah can give us a father and son unit when we get back to Llanview," Sam was finally able to joke, despite his blue eyes still welling with tears.

Viki laughed. "It might not be biological, yet somehow I think Todd might have gotten that awful humor from you."

Sam brought Viki's hands to his lips and kissed them. "I'm scared. I don't know if I can get rid of these feelings," he whispered.

"We'll help you. Susannah or another therapist will help you. And we, your family, will help you. When I say we, I mean Todd and Téa too."

The tears that Sam had been able to hold back for a while, now spilled down his cheeks. "If Todd makes it." Sam's head hung down and his shoulders shook as he wept. "If Todd makes it," he repeated in a barely audible whisper. Suddenly Sam realized something. Panic filled his being. "How long has it been? Oh God. Todd's been alone. You've all been here because of me. What if . . ."

"All of Todd's doctors have my beeper number. They would have contacted me immediately if there had been another crisis," Susannah immediately stated.

Sam relaxed a bit. "I want to see him. I want to see my boy," Sam declared firmly.

"Mr. Rappaport," the psychiatric resident, interrupted. "Right now you need to come with me."

Both Sam and Viki looked to Susannah.

Susannah approached the young resident. "I'm a psychiatrist. I'll take full responsibility for Mr. Rappaport. It's very important that he gets to see Todd. It's important for Sam and for Todd. He needs to know Sam is there for him."

The resident looked toward the administrator that was there. She shrugged and then nodded.

Susannah walked back to Sam. "You can see Todd. Then you will have to go to psychiatric unit. I promise I will get them to arrange for you to visit Todd, and when Todd wakes up, I promise to get you the moment he asks for you." Susannah emphasized the word when.

Sam looked into her eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I believed about you and for the way I've been treating you for months." Sam looked away. "A part of me still . . . still . . . I don't know . . . maybe I am insane."

Susannah rubbed Sam's outer arm. "I know. It's okay and it will be okay. You can't expect everything to turn around in just a few minutes. It's okay if you still have concerns about me. I don't expect those thoughts to disappear overnight, not even with therapy. I will assure you that I will never deliberately hurt Todd as often as you need. In every way that counts, you are Todd's father and you are still a very important part of Todd's treatment team. As far as I'm concerned that gives you the right to question anything connected to Todd's treatment and to offer suggestions. Nothing has changed as far as that goes."

Bill's eyes filled with love and admiration for Susannah. He loved her for not holding Sam's attitude and accusations against him or for taking any of what happened personally.

Sam looked toward Bill. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me and for being a friend. I know I didn't make it easy."

"You love your boy, Sam. You love him so much that I'm proud to be your friend. No thanks are necessary."

Sam's chin quivered as he nodded. He was too choked up to find the words.

Sam noticed Téa and Bo standing off to the side. "May I go talk to them?" he asked in the psychiatric resident's direction.

The young doctor nodded. Sam was clearly not a danger to himself or to anyone at the moment.

Sam approached Bo first. "If Blair is responsible for making it look like Asa paid Susannah to harm Todd, I want her punished. I want her punished Bo. She has gotten away with hurting and scamming people her entire life. I want to see her pay for what she did this time."

"Sam" Bo began. "I promise you I will get to the bottom of this. Whoever is responsible for this, will pay. If it is Blair, she won't get away with it."

Sam seemed satisfied with what Bo said. Lastly he turned to Téa.

"As much as Todd loves Viki and as much as I hope he loves me, you're the one who's making Todd fight for his life. I know that. I'm so sorry that I kept you away from him. I don't know how I will ever make that up to you or to Todd and especially to little Timmy. He spent his last night at the penthouse crying his eyes out for you. That child suffered terribly because I allowed myself to believe you could hurt Todd."

Hearing about Timmy felt like a knife through Téa's heart. It was everything she feared would happen if the little boy came out while she wasn't allowed near him. Yet Téa did not feel anger toward Sam. She knew he would never have allowed Timmy a moment's suffering if Blair had not manipulated him into truly believing Timmy would be in danger around her.

"Sam, Timmy is a loving, generous, forgiving child. He's also a bright and wise little boy. I don't know how, but we will get him to understand. We'll make sure he knows that none of this happened because of anything he did or because we don't love him. We'll make sure he feels every bit of the love we all have for him. That includes you, Sam, his daddy. Timmy needs you in his life as much as he needs any of us."

Sam hugged Téa tightly. He couldn't understand how she could forgive him for the way he treated her. However, he was grateful that she could and that everyone else could. Sam was rational enough to know that he needed his family and friends now more than ever before.

Sam turned to Susannah. "Please, can we see Todd now?"

"Yes. I think both you and Todd need to be with each other right now."

Slowly, they all made their way to the elevators. A security guard and the psychiatric resident followed.

*************

Sam was allowed to approach Todd's bed on his own. Susannah took full responsibility for him while they were in the ICU. She stood back so Sam could have some time with his son.

Todd looked no worse than the last time Sam saw him. He looked no better either. Sam kissed Todd's forehead. "I have something else to ask you to forgive me for Boomer. I almost left you. I never wanted to. I thought that you were . . . I thought that you had left me. I remember once hearing Viki say she did not want to live in a world without you in it. I know how that feels. I didn't want to stay here without you, Todd, especially knowing I did this to you. Me . . . the man who always loved you, but never had the guts to protect you . . . I'm the one who put you here. I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to make it up to you or to Viki and Téa or Susannah or any of you. They're giving me that chance Boomer. I think you will too. That heart of yours is big . . . too big. It was even big enough to forgive Peter Manning on his death bed."

Sam lifted Todd's hand and gently squeezed it as he continued.

"Viki said they think you found a way to help yourself at the summerhouse . . . you found a way to let us love you and love us back. Most of all they think you found a way to allow yourself to have a life with Téa and Starr. I hope so Boomer. Oh God how I hope so. Not only because I want something good to have come of this, but also because I know, I know Boomer, that Téa is what you've needed all your life. She can give you the kind of life you deserve. Come back to her. You called me after all those years to get you back your wife . . . your Téa. I remember that night on the docks. You told me the only thing that helps is Téa. You said she sees things."

Sam smiled as he remembered Todd's words.

"You described the way she just stands there with her chin out and her shoulders back. I could tell then by the look in your eyes and tone of your voice how much you admire and respect her and how much you love her. My God, Boomer, I remember thinking that this woman got to you like no one else ever had or ever could. Then you said to me, 'She's not afraid of me. And sometimes when she looks at me, I can almost believe that I'm not so scary.' I knew that night that Téa was the one who could save you. I wanted it to be me. I thought it might be Viki too, but that night was the first time I realized that Téa was the one. She was the one who made you want to pull yourself out of that bottomless pit you had fallen into. Fallen, hell, you were pushed. You were pushed by Peter Manning and even by Barbara. You were pushed by Victor Lord and Irene Manning."

Sam thought about what he said for a moment. With a look of self-disgust on his face he went on.

"And me. I pushed you too. I didn't help you when you were a kid. Not in a way that counted. I ignored your cries for help. I left you to be tortured." Tears trickled down Sam's cheeks. He stroked Todd's head. "That same night, when you told me about Téa, you also told me that I used to look at you like that . . . the way Téa did. You said now I looked at you the way everyone else did. I swear, I swear Boomer. I never meant that. I was so angry with you when I first found out what you did to Nora. I'm so sorry. That night again I taught you that my love was conditional . . . that those you love might leave you. I swear to you I won't ever leave you . . . no matter what you do or say or have done. I'll never leave you. Now I want nothing more than to be able to tell you that and make you believe it because of my actions, not just my words. I also want to give Téa back her husband, her Todd. Everything that you said Téa does for you, you do for her. I hurt her Todd. I let myself become twisted by Blair's lies and I hurt Téa. I hurt her in the worst way anyone could. I took you away from her. Don't let it be forever Boomer. You fight. You come back to give me hell for believing Blair over Téa. I hope to God that you found a way to feel the love that woman has for you and believe that you deserve it. You fight. You listen to Coach. You get in there and you fight like you never fought before. That same night you said to me, 'Don't you run away on me. Everybody runs. You stay here.' I didn't run that night. I stayed and I will always stay. No one else will ever run out on you again. I promise you that. I swear it. You told me, 'You get Téa back. Téa's the only thing that can make things right for me.' She's back Todd. She's been back and there for you all along. Now you come back to your wife because having you with her is the only thing that will make things right for Téa. It's the only thing that will make everything all right for all of us."

Sam stroked Todd's head one more time. He kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand again. When a tech came to draw more blood, Sam left her to do her job. He walked to Susannah.

"I'm ready," Sam said simply.

Susannah rubbed his arm. "I'll go with you if you like."

Sam nodded. "I don't want Viki to see me being checked into a psych unit. Do you think she'll understand?"

"Yeah," Susannah said softly. "She'll understand."

They headed out to meet the psychiatric resident and then to go to the fourth floor unit that Sam would be spending a couple of days on.

***********

The night seemed to go on forever for Todd's loved ones. Viki, Téa, Susannah, Bo and Bill slept for only minutes at a time as they dozed off in chairs in the ICU lounge. Sam did not sleep for more than a few minutes here and there either as he lay in his bed on the psychiatric unit. It was agreed that Sam would remain there for seventy-two hours. He was given only basic tests and interviews. No real therapy would be given. That would wait for his return to Llanview. Susannah thought it best that Sam ask Larry Wolek for a recommendation. She made sure Sam understood that this was best because he might still have some residual trust issues with her. She explained that this was normal given the circumstances. Feelings do not disappear overnight. She wanted Sam to feel free to say to his therapist whatever he was feeling and thinking. It was best that issues about Todd, Viki and everything that transpired over the past few months, since Todd's hospitalization, did not get in the way of that. She also made it very clear to Sam that this would in no way change how much she cared about him, Todd, Viki or anyone. Susannah let Sam know that she would always care deeply about him and consider him her friend, Todd's father, and the man Viki loves. Susannah made sure that Sam had his chances, the same as the rest of Todd's loved ones, to visit with Todd during the night. For that, Sam was very grateful and very guilty for the things he felt about Susannah. Sam knew that when he got back to Llanview, he needed to stay away from Blair. He was genuinely afraid that he would not be able to stop himself from harming her.

Visiting hours to the ICU were suspended during morning rounds. Todd's family used this time to freshen up and have breakfast. No one was able to eat much, although plenty of coffee was consumed.

***********

LLANVIEW PENNSYLVANIA

***********

"Where is she! Where's my little girl!" Blair shrieked through the closed door she was pounding on.

"Please, Mrs. Manning. Please calm down," Carlotta said firmly as she opened the door to a very irate Blair.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down! You had my daughter here since yesterday and you first call me this morning! I should have you arrested for kidnapping!" Blair spat out.

"Starr came here of her own accord," Carlotta pointed out calmly. She was not going to get into a shouting match with Blair. "I'm very sorry. I knew you were terrified for your child. I was afraid Starr would run away again if she knew I contacted you. That was why I made arrangements for her to go to the park with Mrs. Hernandez and her two little girls this morning. I wanted us to have a chance to talk alone. During the night, Starr woke up every time she heard me stir. She did not want me to call you."

After the frantic night she, Dorian and Mel had looking for Starr, Blair was not willing to listen or be reasoned with.

"Starr would never run away from me! Téa did this. She got you to take my child. I swear I will see your whole fucking family in jail for this. The police are looking for Starr. They're not going to buy this bullshit you're handing me either."

"Mrs. Manning." Calling Blair this did not come easily to Carlotta. She respected Blair's desire to still be called Mrs. Manning. However, Carlotta knew that as far as Todd was concerned there was only one Mrs. Manning, and that was Téa. "Starr came here looking for Téa. When I told her Téa was not here, she guessed that Téa was with Todd. Starr was very happy that her father was not alone. She was also very angry, angry with you. She believes you kept her from her father and Téa because of . . . well . . . because of how you feel about Todd's relationship with Téa. Starr also feels that if she had been allowed to be there for her father none of this would have happened. I'm sorry. I'm sure Starr loves you very much, but right now she does not want to live with you."

Blair felt as if Carlotta had punched her in the stomach. Anger rose like bile in her throat. "How dare you! How dare you tell me my little girl doesn't want to live with me. Starr would never feel that way. NEVER! I don't know what you and Téa did to my daughter. I will find out! When I do, I swear I'll see you both in jail or in hell! Now you tell me where Starr is. You tell me what park you had one of your trashy friends take her too."

Carlotta had too much class to get into a name-calling match with Blair. "Please don't try to force Starr to go home with you. I'm afraid she will run away again and this time she might not run to a safe place. Wait here and talk to her calmly. She should be back within the hour. Think about what's going on in that child's head. Then give her a chance to talk to you."

"I don't need my aunt's ex Latina maid to give me advice on how to raise or talk to my little girl. Téa got you to do something to lure her here and when I find out what it is I'm going to have Starr tell the police what you've done! NOW TELL ME WHERE STARR IS!"

Blair's empty threats meant nothing to Carlotta. It was Starr's wellbeing she worried about. "Perhaps it would be best if I told Mrs. Hayes and she and Mr. Hayes could go to the park with you."

"Dorian and Mel are still out somewhere looking for Starr. They're probably both hysterical with grief thanks to you and Téa."

"You know Téa had nothing to do with this. Starr wanted to go to her father. That child loves her father deeply."

Tears stung Blair's eyes. "I know she does! I don't need you to tell me that. Todd did not want Starr to be there when he first came home. He didn't want her to see him until he was feeling better. I tried to explain that to Starr."

"From what I could gather, Starr's is upset over more than just the current situation. I think she's upset over things that have gone on for the past few years between you, Todd and Téa."

"If anyone upset Starr it's Téa. She stole her from her me, her mother! What do you think that does to a child!"

"Mrs. Manning, I think we both know the truth is that Todd wanted custody of Starr long before he ever met Téa. And from what I remember it was you, you and Mrs. Hayes that took Starr away from Todd and tried to cut him out of her life in the first place. Téa did nothing but try to help Todd keep his daughter when Mrs. Hayes tried to take her from him. She quickly grew to love Starr like her own and yet she never tried to take your place with her. She always made sure Starr knew that you were her mother. Téa never did or would do anything that wasn't in Starr's best interest. You know that Téa could not love that little girl any more if she had given birth to her."

"Well she didn't! I gave birth to her!" Blair seethed with anger. She hated Carlotta of all people throwing the truth in her face. "Starr is my little girl, not Téa's and Téa better get used to that idea! I gave in and allowed Téa back into Starr's life and look what happened. She turned my little girl against me! She turned Todd, Viki and by now probably everyone in this town against me. Starr is my daughter and I don't want her to ever see Téa again!"

"You can't do that Mommy."

Blair was shocked to hear Starr's voice as the little girl came in the kitchen door.

"Carlotta, I'm so sorry," Mrs. Hernandez apologized. "Starr forgot her little stuffed frog. She said she had to keep it with her in case her father tried to talk to her. She became very upset and insisted on coming back for it."

"You can't keep me away from Tee," Starr said with fire in her young eyes. She walked up to Blair and stood in front of her. She looked her mother squarely in the eye. "I'm going to live with Tee. I'm going to live with Tee and Daddy. Until Daddy gets all better, I'm going to live with just Tee, and you can't stop me!"

For a moment, Blair stood in stunned silence. "Starr," Blair said with pain in her voice. "Mommy was so worried about you. Everyone was worried. You've been told over and over again not to run off. Now let's go home and we'll discuss this."

"NO!" Starr stamped the sole of her small pink sneaker against the floor. "I'm staying right here until Tee comes home with Daddy. Then I'm going to stay with her."

Blair's pain turned to anger. She grabbed Starr's arm. "Starr Manning, you are coming home with me right now!"

Starr pulled away. She looked daggers at her mother. "No I'm not! You treat me like a baby and Daddy doesn't want to stay with you. You made him run away and I almost never saw my Daddy again because of you. Daddy must remember when you were mean to him and to Tee and you pushed Tee out the window!"

Blair stood with her mouth hanging open. She turned her fury on Carlotta. "What the hell have you been telling my little girl!"

"Carlotta didn't tell me." Starr said defiantly. I heard Auntie Dorian talking about it. I asked Tee and she said it was an accident. Only I think she didn't want me to get mad at you. I think you purposely pushed her because you didn't want her around me and Daddy. Daddy was home for almost two days and because of you I never got to see him. I never got to see Tee. You made Daddy want to leave so bad that he even ran away from me. I thought I was never gonna see Daddy again, but Tee found him. She's gonna bring him back to me and I'm never gonna let him run away again. I'm gonna take good care of him the way Tee does."

"Starr! Stop this right now!" Blair ordered, then she softened her tone. "I understand you're very upset. We'll talk about it. I'll explain everything to you. Now let's go home."

"NO!" Starr shouted again. She ran to Carlotta and held on to the startled woman. "If you force me to go home I'll run away again. I'll find a way! I'll run away so far you'll never find me and I'll only come back when Daddy isn't sick any more and comes home."

Blair knew her child well enough to know that this was not an idle threat. Tears filled her eyes. She held them back. She glared at Carlotta. She needed to believe that Téa turned her daughter against her.

Carlotta knelt down. She gently held Starr by the upper arms. "You need to go home and talk this out with your mommy. She loves you very much."

"I don't need you to tell my child that I love her!" Blair spat out with her contempt obvious. "Starr knows how much I love her!"

Starr looked up into Blair's eyes. Calmly, the child stated, "Mommy, I know you love me, but you love being mean to Tee and sometimes to Daddy more than you love me. I think you were mean to Daddy or to Tee or both of them again and that's why Daddy ran away. He thought you wouldn't let him have me again. Daddy would never run away without me if he thought I could be with him."

"Starr no," Blair knew this was not the case this time. However she also knew there was truth about her past actions in her daughter's statement. "I wasn't mean to Daddy or to Téa. Daddy left because he is still sick. He got confused. He thought . . ."

"If Daddy is still so sick then he needed me and you kept me away from him!" Starr accused.

"That's the way Daddy wanted it. Starr, you know Daddy doesn't like you to see him sick."

Starr's eyes welled with tears. "I help Daddy. I made his eyes and tummy better when I saw him. I made me and Daddy and Tee like we were before . . . all together . . . like a family . . . like Susie's family."

Seeing Téa and Todd lying in Todd's hospital bed, holding each other, content, peaceful, happy, in love, flashed before Blair's eyes.

"Well, you get this through your head, Starr! Téa is NOT your family and she never will be. Téa is just someone your father married to keep you away from me. All she wants is your father's money! Is that who you want to be with . . . Someone who stole you away from me and doesn't give a damn about you or your daddy!"

Blair gasped. Her hand reached up and covered her mouth. She wished she could take the words back. She never wanted to put Starr in the middle that way. Yet a part of her wanted Starr to believe what she believed, even though in her more rational moments, Blair knew that she destroyed her relationship with Todd long before either of them ever knew Téa. And in very rare moments, she knew Téa loved Todd and Starr in a totally unselfish way, a way that she never could.

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" Starr screamed in Blair's direction. "YOU'RE A BIG LIAR AND I HATE YOU!" The little girl burst into tears. She hugged Carlotta around the waist. "Tee loves me and Daddy. She loves me and Daddy more than anything."

"Yes, little one. Shhh. Téa loves you and your father very, very much," Carlotta comforted.

"Yes she does," They were all surprised to hear Mel's voice.

"Mel!" Dorian quickly chastised.

When Dorian and Mel heard Blair's message that Starr was at Carlotta's, Dorian insisted they drive there immediately.

Mel walked to where Starr and Carlotta stood. He knelt down. "Starr, the one thing you need to remember is that everyone loves you. Your mommy is upset. She's saying things she doesn't mean." Mel stood up. He glared in Blair's direction and firmly said, "Isn't that right Blair?"

Blair stood still with her nostrils flaring. Her breathing was loud as she tried to calm herself. "Yes, that's true, Starr. Everyone loves you. I've never known anyone who has known you who has not ended up loving you."

"Tee loves Daddy too! She's the one who found him and she's going to bring him back to me. I'm never leaving Daddy again once he gets back. I'm gonna live with Daddy and Tee. When me, Tee and Daddy lived together everything was okay. I was happy. We were a family like Susie has. I'm not going back with you!"

Mel lifted Starr and held her in his arms. He looked into the little girl's eyes. "Carlotta has the diner to run. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to neglect her place of business to be home with you when you weren't in school."

Starr thought about what Mel said. "Then I can go to where Tee and Daddy are. Aunt Viki is there too."

"Starr, I think you know Téa and Viki need to concentrate on helping your father get well right now."  Mel leveled with the child.

Starr's little chin quivered. "I'm not going with Mommy. She lies. She made Daddy leave and she treats me like a baby!"

"Starr, baby, please," Blair could not stand to hear her child say these things."

"She doesn't mean it. Blair, she's just upset over Todd," Dorian tried to comfort Blair.

"I do to mean it!" Starr exclaimed. And you're a liar too!" Starr directed at Dorian. "You never told me Daddy runned away. You and Mommy say mean things about Tee all the time. I hear you when you think I'm not around."

"Well! I . . ."

Mel cut her off. "Dorian, I think you've said enough."

"Starr," Mel began again. "I know you're very angry with Mommy and Dorian for not leveling with you. I think we all realize now that we made a mistake and that you are old enough to understand what's going on. If they don't, I do. Will you come stay with Dorian and me for a while? I promise you that I will be completely honest with you. I will find out how your father is and I will answer any questions you ask truthfully."

Starr looked Mel in the eye. "You really promise not to lie to me or keep things from me?" Starr always liked and trusted Mel.

Mel rested Starr back on the floor. He held out his hand. "You have my word."

Starr took his hand and shook it. "I'm still going to live with Daddy and Tee when they get back."

"That will be between you, Téa, your father and your mother when the time comes. Nothing has to be decided right now."

Starr glared at Blair. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"Perhaps," Mel stated.

Dorian exchanged looks with Blair. They both rolled their eyes at Mel's statement. Still they held their tongues. They knew that for now this was the best compromise.

"Starr, now I need you to promise me something," Mel said firmly. "I need you to promise me that while you are staying with us you will not run away again. We all have a lot to worry about and we don't need to worry about your safety too."

Starr looked down at the floor and then looked Mel straight in the eye. "I promise."

Mel nodded. "You're word is good enough for me. Now let's all get out of here so Carlotta can get on with her day."

Starr walked back to Carlotta. "Thank you for letting me stay here last night. I know that you had to call Mommy. I kind of figured that's why you wanted me to go to the park. I figured I'd just run away again if Mommy made me go home."

"But you won't," Carlotta pressed.

"I promised Uncle Mel I wouldn't and I'm not a liar." Starr emphasized the word I'm as she glared at Blair and Dorian. She turned back to Carlotta. "Will you tell Tee I love her and tell her to tell Daddy that I love him more than anything in the whole world and that I'll take the best care of him as soon as he comes home."

"Of course," Carlotta promised.

Mel placed his hand on Starr's shoulder. "Let's go," he said softly. He asked, "Would you like to stop for ice cream on the way?"

Starr thought for a moment. "No, I want to write Daddy a letter for when he comes home." She looked up at Mel. "My daddy's eyes are working good again. I helped fix them when I visited him."

Mel smiled. "I'm sure being with you helps your daddy in every way." Starr tugged at his heart. Mel prayed that someday Todd would come home to his child.

After Mel and Starr were out the door, Carlotta addressed Dorian and Blair. "I'm so sorry about all of this. I had no idea Starr ran off. I was shocked to see her here."

"Right," Blair said with a sneer that indicated she didn't believe a word Carlotta said. She left Carlotta's home.

Dorian patted Carlotta's forearm. "I know you didn't. Thank you for everything you've done for my grandniece." Dorian knew and trusted Carlotta enough to know she spoke the truth.

When Dorian stepped onto the porch, Blair grabbed her arm. "Dorian, what am I going to do? My little girl hates me. She hates me!"

"First you're going to stay calm. Starr is going through a rough time. She does not hate you. She's upset over Todd."

"You saw the way she looked at me. She never looked at me like that before. It's Téa. I know Téa must have contacted her and said something to her."

"Give her a chance to calm down and I'm sure everything will be fine."

"How can they be fine when she's not even with me? How can I make this up to her?"

"Don't worry. I'll talk to her."

"She's just as angry at you. She doesn't trust you anymore either," Blair pointed out.

Dorian wondered how Starr, Blair and everyone else would feel if the entire truth about her part in this came out . . . if they discovered her hand in the money in Susannah Hanen's bank account. Dorian shuddered. "Blair, please, Starr is a child. In a few days she'll miss her mommy and all will be forgiven." Right now Dorian was more worried about herself than Blair. She hoped she covered her tracks enough.

"I don't know. Starr's anger seems to go deeper than just Todd running away. I can't believe that she doesn't understand why I fought to keep her when Todd and Téa tried to take her from me. Back then I always thought Starr would love me for that when she got older."

"Blair, it's cold out here. None of us had any sleep last night. Please, go home, get some rest." Dorian hugged Blair. "Give us a few days with Starr and I promise you everything will be all right." Dorian wanted to go home and think. She wanted to make sure no one would ever find out what she had done.

Blair hugged Dorian back and walked to her car. She watched Mel and Dorian pull away with Starr in the back seat of their car.

What if some of the things I did, some of the dirty tricks I pulled on Todd, are coming back to haunt me? What if they are going to end up turning my little girl against me forever? Blair thought to herself. Tears filled her eyes as she turned the key in the ignition and drove off.

**********

Mount Joy, New York

***********

When rounds were done, Viki told Téa to go in to see Todd first. Viki quieted the young woman's protests by pointing out that as much as she knew Todd loved and needed her, "It will be your presence, Téa, that will make Todd fight the hardest to survive."

"Good morning mi amor," Téa said softly. She gently kissed Todd's lips, despite the breathing tube. We're all still here for you. Viki, Sam, Doctor Hanen, even Bill and Bo are here. Bo cares very much about you. I know Blair might have led you to believe he doesn't or that he was pretending. He's not. Todd, do you understand what's happened over the past few months? Those you always believed hated you and wanted to hurt you . . . Bo . . . Kevin . . . even Nora . . . they all understand. They understand what drove you to do the things you did. They want you to have a good life. They believe you deserve it. They care about you because they know you are worth caring about. It will be different. Your life will be different." Téa squeezed Todd's hand. "I don't know if you'll like this or not, but you are no longer the town pariah. Those you once considered your enemies have come to not only care very much about you, they respect you. They see you for the person I've seen all along. Come back to your life, Todd. Come back to our life. Without you my life is bleaker than I ever thought life could be. I don't just love you, I need you. I need you to warm my hands when they're cold and drape a scarf around my neck to keep the chill away. I need you to give me flowers when I least expect them and take care of me when I'm sick. I need you to give me babies that will have your eyes and humor. I need you to grow old with. Todd, you always tried to hard to give me what I asked for, even if it was something you didn't want to do, like going away for Christmas. Please! Please don't stop giving me what I want now . . . what I want more than anything in my life. I want you. I want you to come back to me."

Téa gently wiped Todd's hand where her tears had fallen on it. She kissed him again and told him she was going outside so Viki could have her turn to see him.

Early morning had turned to late morning. Viki had visited with Todd twice, Susannah once. Sam had been brought down to spend some time with Todd. Viki also went to Sam's unit to spend some time with him. Very few words were exchanged. Both of them were tired and weary. They allowed their eyes to talk for them. They held each other's hand until it was time for Sam to have a short, perfunctory session with the psychiatrist on duty.

At one point, Bo reached into his pocked for a package of Lifesavers he kept in there. When his fingers felt the pages of the notes he had found held to the table in the summerhouse with the salt and pepper shakers that Todd had used to keep them in place, he handed them to Viki and Téa. He apologized profusely for forgetting about them because of everything that had happened since.

Viki and Téa both began to weep when they read them. Viki passed them to Susannah, Bo and Bill.

"Bo, I'm going to call Lucy as soon as we're back in Llanview," Viki said through her tears. "This woman seemed to help Todd and Todd wanted us to help her. Please, can you call some of your contacts in New York and try to find out something about her. I mean if she's in any kind of trouble. If she is I will do anything I can to help her out."

Bo smiled. "You bet I will."

Téa went to the restroom to wash the tears from her face. She then went in to spend time with Todd again. She became anxious when she saw a group of doctors and nurses gathered around Todd's bed. She slowly walked closer.

The ICU Fellow was holding Todd's latest labs and spreadsheet. He handed the spreadsheet to Dr. Lipner and said, "It looks like he's a fighter after all."

Lipner looked it and Todd's labs over. He nodded in agreement. "His temp is down. His counts are going down. Let's hope he keeps going in this direction."

The nurses standing there smiled along with the doctors. One of them adjusted Todd's lines. She took a moment to gently stroke his head. "You keep up the good fight hon."

Téa's heart began to race. She was almost afraid to allow herself to feel the intense hope she was feeling. She approached the doctors. "Did I understand correctly? Is he getting better?"

Doctor Lipner smiled. "It looks that way."

Téa squeezed her eyes shut. Tears made their way through as she offered up a silent prayer of thanks.

"He still has a long way to go, but he does seem to be fighting this with everything that he has," Lipner added.

When Téa was alone with Todd, she placed her mouth close to his ear. "Thank you, querido. I trust you, Todd. I trust you with my heart. I knew you wouldn't break it."

Morning turned to afternoon and afternoon to night. Todd's family continued to keep vigil at his bedside. His late day labs looked even better than the earlier ones had. They all dared to hope that Todd was coming back to them.

The next morning, the team stood around Todd's bed and studied his latest labs. "I am always in awe of the human spirit," Doctor Lipner said with a small smile on his lips. "His labs are better and better. Let's ease up on the sedation and give him a chance to wake up."

Todd's eyes opened slowly. They closed and then opened again as he tried to fight his way out of the fog. He heard his name being called. It seemed to echo. It sounded far away. Todd slowly became aware of bright lights. He tried to call out. Something was in his throat. He tried to raise his hand to his throat. Something was holding it down.

"Relax, Todd. It's all right. There's a breathing tube in your throat. That will soon be gone."

Todd tried to get his eyes to focus. He had no idea where the voice that just spoke to him was coming from.

"My name is Dr. Lipner," the same voice said. "You're in University Hospital. You're in the Intensive Care Unit. You were very sick, but you are doing much better now."

Todd tried to make sense of what he was hearing and seeing. He still could not see the figures before him clearly. Thoughts raced through his mind. Who are these people? Sick? What is he talking about? Does he mean crazy sick or sick, sick? Did I hurt someone? Did I hurt myself? Why can't I talk?

"I'm Dr. Adler," the ICU Fellow spoke up. He could see the panic in Todd's eyes. "I know you're afraid. I promise you we will do our very best to make you comfortable. I know it's very frightening and uncomfortable to wake up with a breathing tube in your throat. You're breathing much better than you were. I'm sure we can take it out by tomorrow morning. We have restraints on your wrists because we don't want you to pull out any of the tubes or lines. Do you think you can calm down and promise not to try to pull out anything that is attached to you?"

Todd's head was spinning. Slowly, his mind started to clear. It began to come back to him like still photographs in his mind . . . being at the penthouse . . . wanting to run off to either find what he was looking for or end it . . . New York City . . . Lucy . . . the summerhouse . . . the children . . . Bitsy . . . visions . . . visions of Téa finding him . . . hearing Téa's voice . . . a phone call. He remembered a phone call. Téa . . . Téa leaning over him . . . reaching out . . . almost being able to touch her. Was it real? Was it a dream? Was it a fantasy?

Feeling something in his mouth and throat terrified Todd. The suffocating feeling of something being forced into your mouth, nearly closing off your throat . . . making you want to gag . . . making you feel as if you can't take a breath. Being tied down . . . helpless . . . powerless to stop the torture that was about to come. Todd felt himself rushing toward that familiar tunnel. He wanted it. He wanted the peace, safety, warmth and love that he'd find at the end of that tunnel. He wanted that sanctuary from his pain and suffering. He wanted to look into eyes that told him he was loved and wanted and not a monster or a mistake. He longed to be held in arms that always gave him respite from his agony and made him believe, even for just a short while, that everything would be all right.

"What's going on with him?" Adler said to Lipner and the nurse standing at Todd's bedside with them.

"He's freaking out," Lipner commented. He ordered sedation.

Then Todd realized that everything he wanted, what he desperately needed was here, on this side of the tunnel. His desire to get to it became stronger than his fears. His panic began to subside.

"Wait, hold off. I think he's calming," Dr. Adler told the nurse as she was about to sedate Todd.

"That's it. Relax," Dr. Lipner said soothingly. "You're safe. You're in the hospital," Lipner repeated.

After a few seconds they saw that Todd was staying calm. They also saw his he was trying to tell or ask them something with his eyes.

"Do you want to write something?"

Todd nodded.

"Okay, Todd. We're going to trust you not to touch anything attached to you. We'll release your hands so you can write and let us know what you need."

Todd was weak. Seeing the trouble he was having, the nurse standing near his bed held his right arm steady so he could write. The few words he managed to get on the paper exhausted him. He lay still, looking at the medical staff with pleading eyes.

They looked at the paper. They saw the four words he struggled to write. "Delgado I need Delgado."

They exchanged confused looks with each other. They had no idea what Todd was asking for.

"Todd, is Delgado a person?" Dr. Adler asked.

Todd nodded. A look of desperation filled his eyes. He hated not being able to speak.

Dr. Lipner smiled. He only knew Téa as Mrs. Manning. Yet he had a feeling that was who Todd needed. "Is Delgado your wife, Téa?"

Todd nodded again. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He used every ounce of strength to stay awake.

Still smiling, Dr. Lipner said, "Your wife has been here with you all along. She is as desperate to see you, as you are to see her. I'll go and get her right now." He patted Todd's shoulder and left to get Téa.

********

Bill and Susannah were visiting Sam. They told him about Todd's notes. Viki, Téa, and Bo were in the ICU waiting area. Viki and Bo both caught themselves staring at Téa. She was curled up in a chair, asleep. Bo and Viki smiled sadly at each other. They both knew the toll this was taking on her. Bo removed his jacket and covered Téa with it.

Téa stood at the top of the penthouse staircase. She looked down. A wide smile covered her face. Below stood Todd and Starr. They were both dressed as pirates.

Téa looked down at her outfit. She too was dressed as a pirate. She started down the stairs.

"Tee! Tee!" Starr called out. She ran to Téa and hugged her tightly. "I'm so happy Tee. I wished and wished so hard that we could all be a family again. Look, Tee." Starr pointed to Todd's shoulder. "Even Moose came back. Daddy said he can come trick or treating with us."

A shocked, yet very happy, smile formed on Téa's lips. She knew how happy Todd would be to have his beloved pet back.

"How about it, Delgado?" Todd asked with a grin. "Is this family ready to be pirates again? I promise to share the candy corn with you this time."

Téa walked up to Todd. "I'm ready." She looked deeply into Todd's hazel eyes. "I'm ready to share tonight and every other day and night of my life with you and Starr."

Todd stared back into Téa's huge brown eyes. "You always believed, didn't you Delgado? You believed . . . no . . . you always knew we'd get our life together."

Without taking her eyes from Todd's, Téa nodded. "Yeah," she said softly.

Téa felt Todd's love for her envelop her. It felt like every good thing she had ever dreamed about was wrapped around her. Something had changed. This time Téa knew Todd felt her love. It wasn't only that he knew she loved him. He felt it. Finally, he felt it.

Bo nudged Viki and motioned in Téa's direction. "She must be having some happy dream," he remarked about the smile on Téa's face and the way she was hugging herself in her sleep. It was as if she had her arms around someone.

Bo and Viki didn't see Dr. Lipner walk into the waiting area.

Viki jumped when Dr. Lipner called her name.

"Has something happened?" she immediately asked. Her eyes filled with fear.

"I have some very good news. Todd has improved. His temperature is down. His labs are looking much better. We let the sedation lift. He's awake and he's asking for his wife."

Happy tears filled Viki's eyes. "Thank you God," she whispered. She hugged Bo. "He's going to be all right. My baby is going to be all right."

Bo was surprised to feel tears well in his own eyes. He realized his depth of his caring. As much as he had once hated Todd, he now cared for the young troubled man he had come to really know.

"Let's wake Téa," Viki stated as she wiped her eyes.

"Téa," Viki called out softly. When Téa didn't respond, Viki gently shook her shoulder. "Téa," she tried again.

Téa's eyes shot open. Her heart started to pound. "Is it Todd? Has something happened to Todd?"

"No. Honey, no," Viki immediately said. "Oh, Téa, he's better. He's awake. He's able to write."

"That ICU doctor was just in here. He thinks Todd's going to make it," Bo added.

Téa's eyes filled with tears. "I just had the most wonderful dream. Todd was better. He was better in every way. We were a family again. Starr was there. We were going trick or treating." Téa wiped her eyes and smiled. "Even Moose came back."

"Honey, it will happen. I know it will. You and Todd will get it all back. Todd fought harder than he ever fought before. He went to that summerhouse to fight for a life with you and now he fought death to have a life with you."

"Right now I think you'd better get in there," Bo directed. "Todd's asking for you."

"He . . . he asked for me?"

"The doc said he wrote your name when he asked him what he needed," Bo filled Téa in.

Téa jumped up. "I've got to get to him," she nearly shouted. Téa rushed to the ICU.

Bo and Viki were left standing there, smiling broadly.

"Oh, Bo. I can't wait to tell Sam. I think this will make a difference. I really do," Viki said with tremendous hope in her voice.

"I think so too," Bo agreed. "I hope Sam sees this for what it is, another chance to be a father to his kid. I think Sam will fight for that . . . for that and a life with you." Bo smiled. He looked into Viki's eyes. "Todd's not the only fighter in your family. I think you all have a little bit of that in you."

Viki and Bo headed to see Sam.

**********

Téa ran to the ICU. She stopped in her tracks when she got there. She knew he would still be on the vent and the other equipment. Yet seeing him awake with the tube in his throat and attached to all the machines was worse than seeing him unaware. Téa could see Todd's eyes were open. He was still as pale as he had been the last time she saw him. He still looked ill and frightened. Téa knew Todd's recovery from this illness was a long way from being complete. She told herself of course he would still look very sick. There was nothing she could do about that right now. There was something she could do about his fear. Téa took a deep breath, ran her fingers through her hair and straightened her clothes as best she could. A nurse was near Todd's bed, checking some of the equipment. Téa calmly walked over to Todd.

Todd's eyes widened when he saw her.

"It's about time, Manning," Téa said as she moved closer. "I thought you were going to leave all of us sitting in that waiting room forever."

Todd's racing heart began to slow. The nurse looked at the cardiac monitor and smiled. "I'll give you and your wife some time alone," she said. She patted Todd's shoulder and walked away.

Téa took Todd's hand. She looked into his eyes. "I remember what it's like to wake up with a tube in my throat. I know it hurts and it's scary and frustrating as hell not to be able to talk."

Without his eyes leaving Téa's, Todd nodded.

With her free hand, Téa lowered the side rail on the side of the bed she stood next to. She sat next to Todd. "I'll say what I think you want to say to me. You squeeze my hand if I'm right. Okay?"

Again, Todd nodded.

Téa took a deep breath. She smiled. "First, you want to say, "Delgado, are you really here or am I still dreaming?"

Before she felt Todd's hand weakly squeeze hers, Téa could see by the surprised look in Todd's eyes that this was exactly what he wanted to say.

Téa stroked his cheek. "I'm here, mi amor. I'm really here and so are Viki, Sam and Doctor Hanen." Téa held off mentioning Bo and Bill. Now that he was awake, she wasn't sure how Todd would react to hearing Bo was there. She didn't know if Todd even knew who Bill was. "We've been with you all along. You'll never be alone again."

Téa saw Todd's eyes well with tears.

"You want all of us to know that you didn't run away because you were angry with us or because you stopped loving us." Téa felt Todd weakly squeeze her hand again. She continued. "You did it to because you wanted to find a way to let us love you. You wanted to find a way to feel it. You wanted to be able to feel that we were safe . . . safe being with you . . ." Téa stroked Todd's head. She kissed his lips. "Safe touching you." Téa lifted Todd's hand to her face. She cupped her cheek in his palm and then kissed it. "Safe for you to touch us . . . safe for you to love us."

Todd used as much strength as he had to squeeze Téa's hand.

"Todd, you found what you were looking for, haven't you?"

Todd stared into Téa's eyes. A part of him was still afraid he was dreaming or imagining looking into the only eyes on the face of the earth that made him not hate himself so much.

Téa could still read Todd the way she'd always been able to. She brought his hand to her lips. She kissed it. "I'm real, Todd. We're both here and we're both real. Querido, you found a way to feel my love and to feel safe loving me. Is that what you've been trying to tell me?"

Tears trickled from the corners of Todd's eyes and spilled onto the pillow. He nodded. He used all his strength to raise his fingers to stroke Téa's cheek.

Téa closed her eyes and held his hand near cheek. She opened them again. While staring into Todd's eyes, she kissed each of the fingers that had caressed her cheek. "We're gonna do it Todd. We're gonna have that life we dreamed of. I read the note you left for me. You're getting to use that substitute emergency card and so am I. We're going to get a second chance. We're both still on the same path. You did it. You were brave enough to face your demons. You fought for us and you won. You won, mi corazon, you won. I know you still have a fight ahead of you. It's all right. I'll be there with you every step of the way and so will everyone else who loves you . . . Viki, Sam, Starr, Doctor Hanen, the hospital staff, even Kevin, Bo and Nora. Todd, everything you've ever wanted and dreamed about is waiting for you to take it. It's all there. I know it won't be easy. I also know . . ." Téa wiped away a tear that had splashed down her cheek. "I also know that you will do it. Of this I have no doubt."

Looking into Téa's eyes . . . hearing her words . . . for the first time . . . for now . . . Todd had no doubt either. He would do whatever he had to do to get his life back . . . his life with Téa, Starr and everyone else he loved. For the first time since he was a very young boy, Todd was able to feel the love.