PREVIOUSLY

�What if I can help you?�

Todd stared into Blair�s eyes. �You said you couldn�t get to my money. How can you help me? They watch me like a hawk. I�ll never be able to escape from here. How can you do it? How can you get me out of here?�

Blair�s heart began to race. �You mean you really want me to? You want to live with me at the penthouse, even if it means Starr will stay with Dorian until you�re ready to be with her again?�

The thought of Starr living with Dorian filled Todd with fury and fear.

�It�ll only be for a day or two, stupid! Just long enough for you to get the courage and brains to act like a man and do what you have to do to keep that kid and wife of yours safe,� Saber whispered to Todd. Saber didn�t want to spook Todd. He was too close to getting what he wanted. �Once you�re out of the picture that pretty little girl of yours can come home to own little room.�

***********

Dorian leaned against the front door after she closed it. She rolled her eyes. �As if Todd was never violent with her when he was himself,� Dorian murmured. She sighed loudly. �Perhaps I went a teeny bit too far when I had that young college student transfer that money to Susannah Hanen�s account,� Dorian said to herself. She knew it was too late to change that now. She hurried upstairs to start calling the staff she had on standby.

*********

�I�ll have a mocha latte, the woman said to the man behind the counter. Once she had her coffee, she sat down at a table that was occupied by a young man. She assumed, like most of the patrons, he was a college student . . . a college student who liked to hang at a local coffee and computer caf� called Coffee and a byte.

The young student looked questioningly at the woman since there were empty tables around.

�I�m not very good with computers,� the woman purred. �You look like someone who really knows your way around . . . computers that is.� She smiled and stared into his eyes. �Do you think you can give me a few pointers?�

The young man laughed. �What�s your name anyway?�

�Sam . . . Sam Vance.�

�I�m Paul,� he announced. He was feeling anxious and good at the same time.

Sam leaned in until only a couple of inches separated them. �Well, Paul, why don�t you show me few of those tricks?�

**********

�Sam and I can keep Todd safe from you! What�s the matter T�a? Did we put a crimp in your plans? What are you more afraid of . . . that you�ll lose access to Todd�s money or the chance to watch him suffer?�

T�a did not allow herself to lose her cool. �I know you�re not trying to hurt Todd. Nevertheless, that will be the result. Blair, Todd is not ready to leave the hospital. He can be a danger to himself and to everyone around him. He still has physical problems. They�re helping Todd there. Don�t take him away from that. He�s making amazing progress. He�s bonded with Doctor Hanen and the staff. Todd needs that. He needs to feel the love and caring these people show him . . .�

Blair didn�t frighten T�a. However, T�a realized that Blair was beyond being reasoned with. The more she tried the more paranoid and filled with hatred Blair became. Before T�a closed the door behind her, she turned and said, �Don�t be the one to take Starr�s daddy away from her. She�ll hate you for it.� T�a closed the door.

Blair picked up a silver candy dish and threw it against the door. �YOU BITCH! YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH! GETTING TODD AWAY FROM YOU WILL BE THE BEST THING I CAN EVER DO FOR HIM.�

********

Todd knew his real punishment waiting for him. He knew it would be after he got back to the penthouse that he would have to find a way to escape . . . escape and end all of it . . . his suffering and the suffering of those he loved. Todd suddenly felt panic wash over him. His head lowered for a moment.

�Don�t you worry, Sam. You just get me to that hearing room and I�ll do fine. I�ll show them that I don�t need to be here.�

Sam squeezed his shoulder. �I know you will Boomer. Don�t worry. I�ll take care of everything.� Sam was too wrapped up in his plan to �save� Todd to notice the cold, dead eyes of the man who had just said those last words to him.

�I know you will Sam. It�ll be what I�ve always dreamed of. It�ll be like you�re my real dad.� Saber saw Sam smile when he said that. Asshole, Saber chuckled to himself.

�

***********

�Good morning,� Dorian called out cheerfully as she walked into the apartment. A large woman and even larger man accompanied her. �Blair I�d like you to meet Dorothy and Clayton. Dorothy is a very experienced RN. She and Clayton have worked with the mentally ill for several years.�

Dorian didn�t mention that Clayton�s experience was with violent teens at a juvie hall in Philadelphia, and Dorothy�s only experience with the mentally ill was at a prison hospital in Harrisburg. Dorian had warned both the nurse and tech not to mention their former places of employment. She told them to tell Blair that she hired them away from the California hospital Melinda was in. Dorian did caution Dorothy and Clayton that Todd had many child alters and they needed tender care. With the same breath, she told them her top priority was keeping Blair safe and that meant keeping Todd under control. Both employees knew that no matter what Blair or Sam said, they answered to Dorian.

�The rest of the staff I hired should be here within the next day or two,� Dorian added.

Blair stared at the man and woman. There was a hardness to them. For a moment, she though of Frank. He was as large a man as Clayton, but there was a gentleness to him . . . kindness shone through his eyes. Blair told herself that she shouldn�t judge someone on appearance. �Would either of you like some breakfast or some coffee?�

*********

Saber looked around. He had never been in the conference room before. He sat next to Sam. Blair sat behind them with two people he had never seen before. Saber spotted Dorothy and Clayton for exactly what they were. He smirked. Todd�s going to freak when he sees those two, he thought to himself. Frank and Jeff sat a few seats away from Todd on either side, in case Todd escalated. Susannah, Terry, T�a and a man Saber had never seen before sat on the other side of the conference table. He assumed correctly that the man was an attorney for the hospital. Susannah had known that the hospital and the hearing officer would have had a problem with T�a acting as counsel. A heavyset man in his fifties sat opposite all of them. His bushy eyebrows and thick graying hair gave him a stern, no nonsense look.

Wesley Berman studied Saber for a moment and then addressed him. �Do you remember that you are under oath?�

�Yes,� Saber answered.

�Are you Todd Manning or are you a part of Todd Manning?�

�I am Todd Manning. I know I have alters and I can understand T�a, Doctor Hanen and the staff members wondering if an alter has come out. I don�t know how to prove it, so I�m hoping you will take my word for it. I am Todd Manning,� Saber lied easily.

�I do take your word for it young man and I trust Mr. Rappaport�s judgment. Todd Manning, I�m agreeing to your request to leave the hospital. You will live at your apartment with Mr. Rappaport and Blair Manning. Mr. Rappaport will continue to make legal, financial and medical decisions on your behalf until such time as your sister is able to resume her responsibilities as your guardian or until such time as another guardian is appointed for you by the courts. You will be further supervised by the psychiatric staff Blair Manning and Sam Rappaport have hired. You will attend as many outpatient sessions a week as your psychiatrist recommends. You will comply with any prescribed medication. Your psychiatrist will send a weekly report to the courts. Are you clear on all of this?�

Tears trickled down T�a�s cheeks. Susannah�s nails cut into her palms as she maintained her professional demeanor. Terry bit her lip to keep from crying. Frank and Jeff felt like punching a hole though the wall.

Blair did all she could to keep herself from jumping for joy. As it was, she could not wipe the smile off her face. Sam sat staring. He felt numb.

T�a pulled Susannah off to the side. �He just signed Todd�s death warrant. How could he do that! How could he not know this is an alter. Oh my God! Do you think it�s Saber? Maybe we should call Viki?�

�I didn�t want to upset you before the hearing,� Susannah told T�a. �Kevin called around noon. I was going to tell him what was going on and let him decide if Viki should hear about it or not. Before I had the chance, Kevin told me Jessica had to have some additional surgery. She started bleeding again. They�re hopeful that she will pull through, but it�s still touch and go. Kevin sounded very distraught. He was relieved that Timmy was no longer out. I didn�t think he could handle hearing about this right now and I didn�t think it was fair to place the decision about telling Viki on his shoulders at this time.�

***********

�Sam, come on,� Bill spoke up. �You know how much Susannah loves Todd. It�s like he�s her own child.�

�Would she take money from Asa to hurt her own child?� Sam spat out.

�For God�s sake Sam, what the hell is wrong with you?� T�a couldn�t believe he just said that.

�You know! You and Kevin both know because you�re part of it. Tell me Susannah. Was the five hundred thousand dollars just for keeping Todd ill? Do you get more if he dies?�

T�a started to leave then turned around and said, �I know this isn�t any of my business and I don�t know what Sam was referring to. I think you need to check out all your financial statements. I would not put anything past Blair.�

*********

Saber saw Susannah. He pulled away from the other three and headed for her. Saber looked Susannah in the eye for the first time since he came out. �Can I have a goodbye hug?� he asked with feigned innocence and a sneer. He knew Susannah was on to him. Without giving her a chance to respond he pulled her close to him. �I told you I would win,� he whispered in her ear.

*******************************************************************************

The ride to the penthouse was uneventful. Saber sat quietly between Sam and Clayton. Blair drove and Dorothy sat next to her. The only thing Saber asked was for the car windows to be open. He wanted to feel fresh air on his face. Saber never remembered the air feeling so good. Every cool breeze that flowed in smelled like freedom and victory to Saber. They only made one stop, at the pharmacy.

Sam brought in the prescriptions Susannah had given him to be filled. After questioning the pharmacist, he was satisfied that these medications were reasonably safe. What Sam wondered was, were these the same medications Todd was receiving at the hospital? He gave the pharmacist the address and told her to deliver them when they were ready.

Saber was dying to ask Sam to pick him up a pack of cigarettes. He didn�t. He had tremendous self-control when he needed it.

Saber nodded to the doorman as he strolled casually through the lobby, to the elevators.

Tony was not surprised to see him. Blair asked several trusted building staff members to let her or Sam know immediately if they saw Todd around the building unsupervised.

When they got to the apartment, Saber grabbed the keys from Blair�s hand. �I can do it!� he said with a glare. He opened the door and looked around. With his back to them, no one saw the gleam in his eye.

***********

Even though Susannah had been certain that Saber was in control and had been throughout the hearing and probably before that, his words, �I told you I would win,� sent a chill down her spine. Bill and the staff saw Susannah grow pale as Saber sauntered out the door. She managed to contain the panic she felt and used all her inner strength to keep from rushing after Saber and trying to pull him back . . . back to safety. Susannah knew that legally, there was nothing she could do. Her hands� were tied. She had to let him go. Watching Saber walk through those doors with Sam and Blair was killing her.

Bill saw her pain. He gently rubbed her shoulder.

There was no doubt in anyone�s mind. They knew this wasn�t Todd. Todd would have hesitated when he got to the door. He would have shown some anxiety, if not a full-blown anxiety attack.

�God, please watch over him,� Terry whispered aloud.

Susannah squeezed Terry�s hand. She, Terry, Frank and several other staff members exchanged looks. Some of them wiped away tears that fell. There was no need for words. Their eyes said it all. They knew they all were sharing the same agonizing thoughts.

*********

The moment Carlotta saw T�a she knew something terrible had happened. She took her foot off the pillow it was resting on and started to get up.

T�a held her hand up to keep Carlotta from getting off the couch. She sat next to her.

�Mija, what is it? What has happened?�

�It�s Todd. He�s in terrible danger and there�s nothing I can do right now to help him.� T�a burst into tears and collapsed into Carlotta�s arms.

Carlotta held her close. �We�ll think of something. We�ll think of something.�

************

Saber plopped down on the couch. His feet rested on the coffee table. He motioned toward the edge of the table with is foot. �What�s all this shit?�

�Sweetie, that�s just something to cover the sharp edges in case . . . well, if . . .� Blair didn�t know how to phrase it. She knew Todd was terrified of having DID.

Saber laughed aloud, shocking Blair and Sam. �So mommy Blair is protecting those little wimps. Don�t bother. Those little bastards have had worse than a bruise from a table and they deserved everything they got.�

�Boomer,� Sam couldn�t believe Todd said that. �None of you deserved any of the things that were done to you. You were raised by a monster. He had . . .�

�Shut up about Peter,� Saber ordered, �or I�ll shut you up.�

Clayton stood up. He pulled himself to his full impressive height in a show of force.

Sam motioned for him to sit down.

Saber realized he�d have to be more careful. �I�m sorry Sam. I just got home and the last thing I want to think about is Peter Manning. I want a break from all that therapy crap for at least a day or two.�

Sam patted Saber�s knee. �That�s okay pal. I should have thought of that. I�m the one who should be sorry. Okay, no more talk about the past for now. Would you like me to call and get a video sent over or something to eat? How about a pizza?�

�Can we go out?� Saber asked. �I could go for a big rare steak. I hate that fast food crap.�

�Oh sweetie! I knew you�d get your appetite back once you left that horrible hospital.� Blair laughed. �Your tastes have really changed. Since when do you like big rare steaks?�

Saber glared at Blair for a second and then smiled. �Gotta put back some more weight. Then they can take this stupid tube out of me.�

Sam was as happy as Blair that Todd wanted to eat. �That�s right Boomer. You just keep that good appetite going and I�ll bet that tube will be out in no time.� Sam thought for a minute. �I don�t know if it�s such a good idea for you to go out on your first day home. I can call the best steak house in Llanview and get you a dinner fit for a king.�

Saber really didn�t want dinner. He wanted a chance to get away . . . to escape and take Todd with him. Saber knew he had time. He didn�t need to push and make anyone suspicious. �Okay. You do that. I think I�ll go up to my room and take a nap.�

�Okay pal. I�ll wait about an hour and then call out and get us a great dinner.�

Clayton and Dorothy started to follow Saber when he headed upstairs.

�I don�t need any company,� he said through clenched teeth.

�You don�t have any choice in the matter. It�s our job to keep everyone safe,� Dorothy replied in a no nonsense tone.

�Dorothy,� Blair said with smile. �Todd is home now. Of course he has a choice.� Blair faced Saber. �Sweetie, why don�t I go upstairs with you and if you need anyone else I�ll just call them.�

�I want to take a nap Blair! I�m not planning on offing myself and I�m sure as hell not in the mood to service you!�

�Todd!� Blair�s mouth hung open. �I . . . I never thought anything like that. I was just going to keep you company and . . .�

�And watch over me like a prison guard. I�ve had months of that. I thought I could get some peace here and some privacy. God! I just want to know what it feels like to have some privacy for five fucking minutes.�

Blair and Sam looked anxiously at each other.

�Pal, what if I came with you? I could sit in a chair right outside your room the way . . .�

�The way those assholes at the hospital did.� Saber cut Sam off too. �Look, if it�s going to be this way here too then I might as well go right back to the hospital now.�

�No,� Blair said quickly. �You�re right. You�re home now and you shouldn�t have to live like you�re still in the hospital. You can go up and lie down without anyone bothering you.�

�Blair, I don�t think that�s such a good idea,� Sam said softly. He hated to be the bad guy in Todd�s eyes. However, he feared for Todd�s safety.

�We trust Todd, Sam. Todd knows that the worst is over and he�s going to get his life back.�

�That�s right Blair. I�m going to get my life back. You bet I am.� With that, Saber swaggered up the stairs.

Dorothy and Clayton exchanged looks and shrugged. Their primary instructions from Dorian were to keep Blair safe. With Todd upstairs, she was safe. They sat down to watch television and snack on some candy that was out.

**********

�I don�t understand,� Carlotta stated. �How could this judge or hearing officer or whatever he�s called not take the word of Todd�s doctor and wife? How could he just take this alter�s word that he is Todd?�

�That�s the way the law is,� T�a said as she wiped away another tear. �We had no way to prove Saber was out. Doctor Hanen couldn�t say she knew for sure that Todd would hurt himself. Saber gave a brilliant performance. He knew exactly what to say. He ended up sounding like the most well adjusted, rational one in the room.�

�Madre de Dios,� Carlotta exclaimed. �What about Sam and Blair? Surely they know Todd well enough to know this is some dangerous alter?�

�All Blair knows is that she thinks she won. Sam is too sick to know what he knows. They both want to believe this is Todd.�

�Perhaps if you go to talk to him, you can get this Saber to reveal himself?� Carlotta suggested.

�I intend to try. I�m sure Blair or Sam or both will keep me from seeing Todd.�

�You�re his wife! They can�t keep you away from him.�

�They can. If Todd or Saber doesn�t want to see me, I can�t force him. Blair probably made sure I won�t even be able to get by the doorman.�

Carlotta shook her head. �It is so terrible. Viki would never want this. I can�t believe sweet little Jessica is hurt so badly and Clint . . .� Carlotta�s voice trailed off. Tears welled in her eyes. She still cared deeply about Clint and Jessica.

�No, Viki would never have allowed this. I�m so tempted to call her or to at least let Kevin know. I�m hoping we get some good news from Arizona. The second that Jessica and Clint are out of danger I�m going to let Kevin know what happened. I think he�ll decide Viki should know. First thing Tuesday morning I�m going back to the court and press for an immediate decision on Todd�s guardianship.� T�a�s voice broke. �I only hope it won�t be too late for Todd.�

�Mija, God has watched over Todd and helped him survive things that most people, especially most children, never could have. He will watch over him now.� Carlotta patted her lap. �Come, you need to rest.�

T�a laid her head on Carlotta�s lap. Carlotta gently stroked her hair.

T�a looked up at Carlotta and asked, �Do you believe in dreams?�

�Sometimes,� Carlotta admitted. �I know they mean something psychologically. Some people think sometimes they also can guide us and warn us.�

T�a turned on her side. She pulled her knees up to her chest. She felt small and helpless. It was something she hated feeling.

Carlotta rubbed her back. �Have you been having a dream that frightens you?�

T�a nodded. �I can�t find Todd. I know something terrible is happening to him. I call for him and call for him. Then I�m in this strange place . . . this room . . . I�ve never seen it before . . . it isn�t a place I�ve ever been. It�s always the same room and I have no idea where it is. I hear Todd. His voice sounds far away. It�s like he�s calling to me from somewhere I can�t get to.� T�a shuddered. �Then I see Todd and he�s on the floor.� T�a reached up to her shoulder for Carlotta�s hand. �He�s dying. I can tell that he�s dying. I cry for him to hold on and he tells me it�s better this way. He says he had to find someone . . . a woman . . . he tells me if she could have forgiveness everything would have been all right. Then . . . then . . .� T�a began to tremble. �He dies. He dies in my arms. I wasn�t able to get there soon enough to help him and he dies. He dies!� T�a wept uncontrollably in Carlotta�s arms.

************

Susannah wearily sat down on the couch in her apartment.

Bill sat next to her. He placed his arm around her shoulder. �Would you like a cold drink?�

Susannah shook her head. �I can�t believe it�s just been a few nights since Sam was here. He seemed so much better. I don�t understand what happened. I know he was traumatized by seeing Timmy have that dystonic reaction. I don�t know. I think it was more than that. I know Sam has been fearful about Todd�s treatment for a while. This was different. He acted as if he knew for a fact that Todd was harmed by me . . . by the staff . . . by T�a.� Susannah shook here head.

�Are you sure it would not be a good idea for me to talk to him?� Bill asked.

�Yes. I�m sure. Something completely destroyed Sam�s trust in all of us.�

�Susannah, I know you�re not really up to it right now, even so, I think you need to look through your credit card and bank statements and any other financial records you have. I�ve got a bad feeling about that comment Sam made. I think T�a is right. Blair seems to be the common denominator for everything that�s been going on with Sam.�

Susannah sighed. �There�s nothing I can do to help Todd right now. I do need to concentrate on something else.� She got up and headed for her desk. She turned on her computer and pulled out some papers.�

�May I help?� Bill offered.

�I have to warn you that when it comes to this stuff I�m not the most organized person in the world.�

Bill rubbed Susannah�s shoulders. �Then two heads and four hands are definitely needed here.�

Susannah rested her cheek against the back of Bill�s hand. She stood up, facing him. �You�re what�s definitely needed here.�

Bill knew that was not easy for Susannah to say. Bill kissed the top of her head. �Me you will always have, for as long as you want me.�

Susannah�s eyes left Bill�s. She looked down. �I love you Bill,� she said softly.

Bill lifted Susannah�s face by the chin until their eyes� met. �I know. Just the way you know that I love you.�

A tear slid down Susannah�s cheek. She nodded.

�Not to spoil the moment, but I think we�d better get to those records. I may take back what I said when I find out just how bad you are about keeping track of your money. I wouldn�t want you to send us into bankruptcy after we�re married.� Bill could see the surprised look in Susannah�s eyes.

After a few moments, a small smile appeared on Susannah�s lips. �No. We couldn�t have that. As Todd would say, that would really suck.�

Bill knew this was Susannah�s way of saying yes.

***********

Saber checked out the bedroom. He immediately noticed that the windows were now shatterproof and locked. He checked out the draws, closets and the bathroom. Even the showerhead was breakaway, like it had been at the hospital. �Fucking Blair. That bitch is thorough,� Saber grumbled to himself. His headache was starting to return and he was bored. He decided he�d rest inside for a while and give himself something fun to watch. Just as he was about to go inside the bedroom door opened.

�Time for your meds,� Dorothy�s raspy voice bellowed as she made her way into the room. Clayton was right in back of her and Blair in back of him.

Dorothy and Clayton were both imposing figures, much like the guards and prison nurse at Statesville.

With a small smile on his lips, Saber�s eyes closed for a moment.

Blair, Clayton and Dorothy were met with a shocked look and frightened eye.

�Baby, what is it? Is something scaring you?� Blair asked anxiously.

Todd panicked. For the moment he had no idea where he was. He looked around the room. Slowly, he realized he was in his room at the penthouse. He looked at the three people standing before him. Two of them were strangers. Todd�s heart began to race. He broke out in a cold sweat. His chest became tight and painful. He couldn�t catch his breath. His hands� and fingers� became numb. Nothing and no one looked real to him. They were distorted and far away.

�Help him! Something�s happening to him,� Blair cried out. She ran to the door. �SAM! SAM!�

�Okay. Let�s just calm down,� Dorothy�s stood above Todd and ordered.

�Mrs. Manning. You should wait downstairs,� Clayton said firmly. He didn�t want to chance anything happening to Blair. He knew that would be the end of this cushy job.

�I�m not leaving Todd,� Blair stated just as firmly.

Sam came bounding up the stairs two at a time. He knew Todd was in trouble the moment he walked into the room. Sam rushed over to him. �Boomer, it�s Sam. It�s all right. You�re safe. You�re home. You�re in your own room at the penthouse. Everything is going to be okay.�

Todd was too terrified to speak. He sat on the bed, clutching his chest.

Sam looked up at Dorothy and Clayton. �Help him!� he commanded. �Todd�s having a panic attack.�

Dorothy fumbled with one of the bottles of Todd�s medication that she brought upstairs with her. She held out a pill in front of Todd�s face. �Take this!�

Todd didn�t move.

�You�d better listen or you get the needle,� Clayton threatened.

�What the hell is wrong with you?� Sam said to Clayton and pushed him out of the way.

�Todd, I won�t let anyone hurt you.� Sam tried to remember the things Susannah and the staff at the hospital said and did when Todd had an attack. He couldn�t think straight. �Relax pal. Just relax. No one is going to hurt you,� was all Sam could come up with.

Blair sat on the bed. �Baby, Sam is right. This is your home. You�re safe here. There�s nothing to be afraid of.�

Todd couldn�t make out what anyone was saying to him. He felt lightheaded, as if he were going to pass out. Todd�s eyes glazed over.

�Ahhhhhhh,� Adam called out. He jumped off the bed

Clayton grabbed him. �Where do you think you�re going?� Clayton pulled his hand away. �Shit! He fuckin� bit me.�

Sam pulled Adam away just as Clayton raised his hand.

�Don�t you even think about striking this child or any of them.� Sam turned to Blair. �What the hell kind of staff did you hire?�

Adam started to scream and cry.

�I-I-I . . . they came highly recommended,� Blair couldn�t believe these were the people Dorian picked.

Dorothy nudged Clayton and gave him a look that let him know he had to say something.

�Hey Mr. Rappaport. I wasn�t gonna hit him. I was just shocked because he bit me. I�d never hit a patient.�

Sam eyed him suspiciously. �You hurt Todd or any of them and it�ll be the last thing you do.�

�Please, don�t worry,� Dorothy chimed in. �We know that this patient has to be handled carefully.�

�This little boy is Adam. He�s autistic and he�s only three years old. Please call him Adam and don�t refer to him at this patient,� Blair explained and then requested sternly.

�He�s what?� Clayton asked.

�Autistic,� Blair repeated through clenched teeth.

�Oh, like retarded,� Clayton guessed.

�No. It�s not the same thing.� Sam couldn�t believe these two. �Adam lives in his own world much of the time. Other times, with a lot of patience and love, he is able to play with us and enjoy himself. He likes to be tickled and he loves water. Bathing him calms him down.�

�So you want me to run the bath water?� Dorothy asked.

�Not yet,� Sam said.

Adam was pulling away from him. He looked around with his sideways stare. He sensed he was in a strange environment. He looked for his favorite play partners, Kevin and T�a. Adam began to tear his own hair out.

�Oh God,� Blair cried out.

Sam rushed over and put his arms around Adam. The three-year-old still had little strength. �Nooooo, shhhhh. Adam. It�s all right. No hurting yourself. Shhhh. Did you separate any of the yellow M&Ms from the rest?� Sam asked Blair.

Blair looked horrified. �Oh God, I forgot to get M&Ms. I forgot to put them on the list. I-I-I�ll send someone. I�ll call downstairs and see if someone can go and get some.�

Adam suddenly pulled away from Sam and ran out the bedroom door.

�Sam! The stairs!� Blair cried out. She didn�t know if Adam knew how to walk down stairs.

It tuned out he was able to manipulate them with no trouble. He raced downstairs with the four adults rushing after him. Adam began to run across the room. He tripped over the coffee table, picked himself up and continued to run wildly back and forth across the room.

�Do you think he hurt himself?� Blair asked Sam.

�No, I . . . I don�t know!� Sam pulled Blair aside. �These two have no idea how to take care of Todd or Adam. What the hell were you thinking when you hired them?�

Blair did not want to admit that she trusted Dorian and never checked the staff out. �Sam, they did come highly recommended,� she repeated.

�Does Starr have any big plastic balls or any spin tops?� Sam asked.

�Not anymore. She hasn�t played with those things in years.�

Sam thought frantically. �Do you have a flashlight?�

�Yes!� Blair answered, relieved that she had something that Sam thought might calm down Adam. Blair ran to get it.

�He needs to be heavily sedated,� Dorothy called to Sam. She stood a safe distance from Adam. �If the three of you can hold him down . . .�

�NO!� Sam shouted. �Don�t you even think of drugging him. This is his way of coping.�

�Uh . . . no one said anything to us about having to deal with something like this?� Clayton stated.

�Something like this!� Sam was livid. �This is a child, a sweet lovable child.�

Dorothy and Clayton both rolled their eyes at Sam�s statement.

�Sweet, my ass. That little bastard didn�t bite him!� Clayton whispered to Dorothy. He looked at the teeth marks on the back of his hand again.

Finally, Blair returned with the flashlight.

�Adam. Adam,� Sam called out as he approached the little boy. �Look at me! Adam, look!� Sam turned the light on and off.

Adam grabbed it from Sam�s hand. He plopped down on the floor and began to play with it.

Everyone looked greatly relieved.

Clayton turned to Dorothy. �You got something you can put on this hand. He broke the skin.�

Dorothy looked uncertain. She didn�t know if she should leave the room.

�Go ahead,� Blair told her. �Wait,� she called out and got a key from her purse. �Everything that you might need for his wound is in a locked cabinet. Here,� she handed Dorothy the key.

Sam was just about to let Blair have it again when the doorbell rang.

�Now what!� Blair exclaimed. She went to the door. �Who is it?�

�Darling, it�s me.�

�Dorian?� Blair said as she opened the door.

�I came to make sure everything was all right and that you are okay and . . .� Dorian stopped mid sentence when she saw Adam sitting on the floor playing with his flashlight. �Well, whom do we have here?� Dorian asked.

Sam glared at her. �This is Adam.�

�Adam,� Dorian repeated after him. Then she remembered what Blair told her about Adam.

�Oh my. When did he come out?�

�Just a little while ago,� Blair answered.

Dorian looked around. �And where are Clayton and Dorothy?�

�Dorothy is taking care of Clayton�s hand. He frightened Adam and Adam bit him.�

�It was no more than he deserved,� Sam proclaimed. �Blair I want to talk to you about this so called staff you hired.�

Blair wanted to talk to Dorian alone before she had to answer that. �Sam, as long as Dorian is here, will you go get those M&Ms for Adam?�

�No . . . I�m not going to leave Adam.�

Blair took Sam�s hand. �You know you can trust me with him. We�re on the same side Sam. I�d never let them hurt him or drug him or do anything to him that you wouldn�t want done. Maybe you can pick up a ball or a top for him to play with too.�

�Blair, may I see you for a moment?� Dorian called out.

�What!� Blair asked impatiently when she walked over to Dorian.

�Do you really think Sam leaving is a good idea? I know he can hardly take care of himself these days, but . . .�

�We will be fine!� Blair cut her off. �And I want to talk to you without Sam being here,� Blair said angrily.

Dorian didn�t like the sound of that.

Sam ran his fingers through his hair. He didn�t know what to do. �All right. I�ll go to that place on the next block. They have toys and candy by the cashier. Don�t let those two near him, do you hear!�

�You know I would protect that little boy with my life,� Blair stated from her heart.

Sam took one more look at Adam before he left. Adam was still contently playing with his flashlight.

�Blair, what is going on here?� Dorian asked the second the door closed behind Sam.

�What is going on here is that nurse and tech from hell that you hired! God, Dorian, they have no idea how to handle Todd or Adam.�

�They came highly recommended.� Dorian kept up her lie.

�I�m sure! Probably the hospital Melinda is in wanted to get rid of them.�

�Blair, they may handle things with a little more discipline than Todd is used to. After all, they are working private duty and they have to keep everyone safe.�

�Safe! They threatened Todd and Clayton almost hit Adam.�

�He almost hit that little boy?� Even Dorian never wanted that.

�He would have if Sam hadn�t stopped him.�

�I�ll talk to them.�

�You�d better. I�m going to hire my own people as soon as I get the chance. The rest of the staff better not be like Dorothy and Clayton.�

Adam suddenly tired of his flashlight. He jumped up and began to run around the room again.

Dorian shook her head. She was afraid something like this would happen. �Perhaps you should call the staff down here?�

�No! I don�t like the way they treat Adam. He was tortured enough in that hospital.�

�Blair, surely you don�t plan on trying to control this child yourself?�

Adam suddenly discovered the light switch.

After ten minutes of the lights flashing on and off Dorian stood up and walked over to Adam. �Sweetheart. Adam. My name is Auntie Dorian. I know you like to play with this, but you are giving your Auntie Dorian a headache. Why don�t you go back to playing with your flashlight like a good boy?�

�Dorian, he doesn�t understand,� Blair reminded her.

�He might,� Dorian claimed. �He might. I read that some autistic children can understand language.� They just can�t use it themselves.� Dorian placed her hand over the light switch. �Adam, no. This is not a toy.�

Adam started to jump up and down and cry.

�Better watch out for that one Mrs. Hayes. He bites,� Dorothy said as she and Clayton came back into the room.

Dorian quickly removed her hand from the wall.

Adam began to play with the lights again.

�Blair,� Dorian began. �Let me talk privately with Clayton and Dorothy. Do you think you�ll be all right alone in the room with Adam?�

�Of course I will. Dorian, he�s only three years old. I�m not afraid of him.�

Dorian took Dorothy and Clayton into the kitchen.

SECRETS

PART 128 PAGE 2

�You both told me that you were prepared to work with a DID patient. I get here and find chaos,� Dorian angrily lit into them the moment they were alone.

�Mrs. Hayes, you didn�t say anything about an autistic alter,� Dorothy pointed out.

�Yeah, or one who bites either. Hey, he don�t have AIDS or nothing like that does he?� Clayton asked in a worried tone.

�No,� Dorian said coldly. She realized she had made a huge mistake hiring these two. �Autistic children need to be treated with patience and kindness, not with brute force. That goes for all the other child alters too! Do I make myself clear?� Dorian asked. Her jaw was clenched in anger.

�You also said our number one priority was to keep Mrs. Manning safe,� Dorothy reminded Dorian. �What are we supposed to do if using physical force is the only way to do that?�

�Was Adam a threat to Blair when you tried to strike him?� Dorian pressed.

�Well . . . no . . . but he bit me!� Clayton tried to excuse his action.

�I didn�t think so!� Dorian said angrily. �You are not to be physical with Todd or those children unless Blair is in danger.�

�Mrs. Hayes,� Dorothy said firmly. �If we let the situation escalate to the point where Mrs. Manning is already in danger it might be difficult to control.�

Dorian thought for a moment. She wished that she had listened to Mel and stayed out of this. Things were getting out of hand. �All right! Do whatever you have to do to keep Blair safe. Just watch your step. If I hear that you hurt Todd or the alters for no reason . . .�

�You won�t Mrs. Hayes,� Dorothy promised before Dorian had a chance to finish her threat. Dorothy nudged Clayton.

�No ma�am you won�t,� Clayton gave his word too.

�Now, the rest of the staff should be her . . .� Dorian stopped talking when she heard Blair call out, �Adam no!� and then heard Blair yell for Dorothy.

They all rushed back into the living room.

�Blair! Blair, where are you?� Dorian cried out. They heard Adam screaming and crying.

�I�m here. In the downstairs bathroom,� Blair called back.

The three of them rushed to the bathroom. When they got there they saw Blair holding Adam by the arm. She was trying to keep him away from the toilet. The sleeve of Adam�s sweatshirt, from wrist to shoulder, his socks and the bottom of his pants was soaking wet, as was the sleeve of Blair�s blouse and her shoes. The toilet was overflowing. Water covered the floor.

�No, Adam. Baby, no, you can�t play with the water in the toilet. It�s dirty. No. No playing with the toilet.� Blair�s eyes blazed with anger when she turned to Dorothy and Clayton. �Didn�t I tell you that you had to leave toilet lid down and the bathroom doors shut!�

Dorothy swallowed hard. �Yes you did Mrs. Manning. I�m sorry. We forgot.�

�Yeah, you know with him biting me and all and Dorothy getting me fixed up . . . well we forgot.� Clayton made excuses too.

�What happened?� Dorian asked as she surveyed the mess.

�I got a call from the paper and turned my back on him for just a few minutes and the next thing I knew he had dropped his flashlight into the toilet and he had his arm in the bowl up to his shoulder! He must have flushed it and it overflowed. I pulled the flashlight out but not before all this happened.�

Adam tried to pull away from Blair and get back to his water play. When she held on tightly to his arm, he dropped down to the floor and began kicking and screaming.

Blair knelt next to him. �Shhhhh, baby, shhhh. It�s okay. Shhhh, I can�t let you play with that water. It�s dirty. Shhhhh.� Blair stood up. �We have to get him to one of the upstairs bathrooms and into the tub. He needs a bath now! That should calm him too. He can play with that water.� Blair shouted to be heard over Adam�s screams.

No one moved.

�Well, don�t just stand there!� Blair directed at Dorothy and Clayton. �We have to get him undressed. I don�t want that filthy water from his clothes to drip all over on his way upstairs.�

As soon as Clayton went near Adam, Adam tried to bite him again. Clayton jumped back.

�Oh for God�s sake!� Blair exclaimed. She pulled Adam up into a sitting position and pulled his top off.

�What the hell are you doing to him?� Sam yelled over Adam�s screams.

No one had heard him come back into the apartment. Sam dropped his packages and ran to the bathroom the moment he walked in the door and heard Adam.

�Adam got a little wet. There�s nothing to panic over,� Dorian explained. She didn�t want Sam to go off the deep end over this.

�He�s upset because I pulled him away from the toilet. We�re trying to get him undressed and then we�ll take him upstairs for a bath.� Blair tried to sound as if everything was okay.

Sam walked over to Dorothy and Clayton. �Why are you two just standing around again? Why aren�t you helping her?� Sam accused more than asked.

�Hey, that kid is like a wild animal. I�m sorry but I�m not getting paid to get chewed up here,� Clayton protested lamely.

Adam�s screams and cries increased. He was kicking so hard that Blair had to let go.

�My God! What is going on here?�

They all looked up, shocked to see T�a standing there.

�What are you doing here?� Blair asked with fury in her voice.

�I came to talk to you and Sam together and to see how Todd was doing. The front door to the apartment was wide open.�

�I must have left it opened when I came in,� Sam guessed.

�Get out! We don�t need you here,� Blair yelled.

�It looks like you need somebody,� T�a observed. She pushed past Dorian, Clayton and Dorothy and knelt along side Sam and Blair. T�a quickly figured out that Adam was out and his fascination with water drove him to play in the toilet. �Bring a pot filled with tepid water in here,� T�a requested of no one in particular.

Sam and Blair exchanged looks.

�Do it!� Sam ordered.

Dorothy rushed to the kitchen.

They heard the sounds of other pots crashing to the floor. In her haste Dorothy pulled out several pots at a time and dropped some of them. She returned and handed T�a the water filled pot.

T�a felt the water to make sure it wasn�t hot. �Adam. Adammm. Looooook!� T�a gently splashed the water in the pot.

Adam stopped tantruming. He sat up and immediately began to stim with the water.

�Great quieting down Adam!� T�a praised in an animated tone. She tickled the back of his neck. Adam scrunched his head back and giggled. He happily continued to stim with the water.

T�a stroked his head and stood up. �I�m pretty sure that you will be able to get him to cooperate as long as you don�t take away his pot of water.�

�Thank you,� Sam said to T�a softly.

Blair glared at her. �Does Tony think you still live here?�

�The lobby door was unmanned when I got here. It was locked and I still have my keys,� T�a explained.

�I�d appreciate those keys back,� Blair spat out.

T�a took them out of her purse and threw them on the vanity.

�If you�ll excuse us, we have to get Adam undressed and out of these wet clothes,� Blair said coldly.

�I need to speak with you and Sam. I�ll wait in the living room,� T�a stated firmly.

�We said all we have to say to each other last night,� Blair said with fury.

�Sam, will you talk to me after you get Adam settled?� T�a asked.

�Yes,� Sam agreed.

�Sam!� Blair chastised.

�We got Todd home. It won�t hurt to listen to her,� Sam�s speech was slow. He seemed distanced and removed from the situation.

Dorian leaned in through the doorway. She didn�t want her shoes to get ruined. �Blair, since you have company, I guess I�ll be going.� Dorian was grateful not to have to discuss the staff she hired with Blair.�

�Yes! Go! I�ll call you later.� Blair was clearly exasperated.

Dorian gingerly stepped away from the bathroom and made a hasty exit.

�I�ll wait in the living room,� T�a said softly. She kissed the top of Adam�s head and left the bathroom.

About fifteen minutes later, T�a heard Adam scream. She rushed back to the bathroom.

�Adam I�m sorry. I forgot. I forgot.� Sam looked distraught as he apologized to a child who didn�t understand a word he said.

�Okay, baby, shhhh. No more towels,� Blair was trying to sooth him.

Adam stood naked as Blair held out his pot of water for him. They had managed to get his wet sweat pants and underwear off. Sam had forgotten that Adam�s skin was extremely sensitive to the feel of most materials. He had wrapped a bath sheet around him. That�s when Adam started to scream.

�He can only tolerate the same material his sweat suits are made of,� T�a stated.

�I know. I forgot,� Sam sadly admitted.

�Adam won�t be able to stand any regular blanked placed on him if he�s still out at bedtime. I can go by the hospital pick up his special blankets,� T�a offered.

�We don�t need you doing favors for us,� Blair angrily declared. �T�a this is none of your business. Why the hell don�t you just leave?�

�Yes, please, will you do that?� Sam jumped at the offer. �Can you pick up that video that he likes too?� Sam couldn�t remember the name of the movie.

Blair looked away and grit her teeth. She took a deep breath. She really did want to do what was best for Adam. Still, she hated that T�a was still a part of Todd�s life. She felt like she�d never be able to get rid of her.

�Of course I will,� T�a said. She hated to leave Adam. �Can I just help with . . .�

�Adam will be fine!� Blair insisted. �He doesn�t need you to give him a bath. He has four capable adults here to help. So thank you T�a. I would appreciate you going for those blankets.�

Blair looked at Adam, then at the mess. She realized Adam had no self-consciousness over his naked body. She further realized that he probably did not even have a concept of what naked was. �Oh, let�s just take him upstairs the way he is and get him cleaned up and dressed.�

As long as they allowed him to hold his pot of water, Adam was easily led out of the bathroom, through the living room and up the stairs.

Sam�s eyes met T�a�s as he helped get Adam up the stairs. He quickly looked away.

T�a hoped that Sam was beginning to realize that he made a horrible mistake. She rushed back to her car. She wanted to get those blankets and get back as quickly as possible.

**********

�Oh my God!� Susannah gasped. �Bill, look at this?�

Bill rested the papers he was looking through on the coffee table. He rushed over to the desk where Susannah sat.

�Look at my bank statement,� Susannah pointed.

�Wow! Did you win a lotto you didn�t tell me about?�

�My God! There�s half a million dollars more in my account than there should be.�

�I take it you have no idea where it came from?� Bill surmised.

Susannah shook her head. She stared at the statement in her hand. �This must be what Sam was referring to. Oh my God, Bill. Someone must have gotten into my account and added this money and then Sam or someone must have found a way into my account too and when they saw this . . .�

�They assumed you had taken some kind of bribe to hurt Todd in some way,� Bill finished Susannah�s sentence for her. �Okay, someone is setting you up. Do you have any idea where that money came from?�

�No!� Susannah responded. �I do know that well or sick, Sam would never do anything like that.�

�What about Todd�s ex? She had the most to gain from proving to Sam that you were hurting Todd.�

Susannah thought for a few moments. �It could be Blair . . . no, I don�t think so. I do believe that Blair wants to get Todd away from T�a. I would believe she would do something to set T�a up, even so, I think a part of her really wants what�s best for Todd. I don�t think she would have set the hospital or me up to look like we�re hurting Todd. Blair seems to really believe it.�

�Susannah, is there someone who has it in for you . . . someone you work or have worked with . . . a former patient . . . a former friend or someone you were involved with?� Bill said the last part softly and matter-of-factly.

Susannah thought carefully. �No. As far as I know I�m not on bad terms with anyone.� Susannah thought again for a moment. �The Buchanans!�

�The Buchanans? You�re not saying you think Bo or Kevin set you up?� Bill would have a hard time believing that.

�No. No I�m not saying any of them set me up. I�m saying that Sam and Blair must think that it�s one or all of the Buchanans that gave me that money. The Buchanans are the ones that they think want to hurt Todd. Even Todd has stated that Buchanans are doing this to him . . . making him appear mentally ill.�

Bill took a slow deep breath. �The only Buchanan who still acts like he hates Todd is Asa. Do you think he did this?�

Susannah thought again. �No. It doesn�t make sense. I can see Asa offering me money to hurt Todd. How would he benefit from making it look like I�m already hurting Todd? No. It has to be someone who wanted Sam to go over the edge and pull Todd out of the hospital.�

�So we�re back to Blair. She�s the only one who would have wanted that.�

�I know it seems like she�s the only one with a strong enough motive . . . Bill I just don�t think so. I don�t know Blair as well as I do T�a and Kevin or even Sam, I still don�t think she would have done this. Other things yes . . . doing something to make T�a look bad, yes . . . not this. I do think that somehow Blair found out about it, believed it, and then used it to prove to Sam that I can�t be trusted.�

�That does make sense,� Bill agreed.

�I have to go to the bank and try to find out where this money came from.�

�You�re not going to be able to do that until they open on Tuesday,� Bill reminded her.

�Damn!� Susannah momentarily forgot about the Memorial Day holiday.

Bill took her hand. �You�re worried about Todd being out of a safe environment for all these days,� Bill realized.

�I�m scared to death,� Susannah confirmed.

*************

Adam had quietly stimmed in the tub while Sam bathed him. Sam told Dorothy it was all right to go downstairs and help Blair clean the bathroom. Clayton sat right outside the bathroom, reading a magazine.

The bath started to make Adam sleepy; unfortunately the sleepy calm was destroyed when Sam and Clayton took him out of the tub. Adam started to scream and cry.

�Hey! Easy!� Sam admonished. He saw how rough Clayton was when he helped Sam lift Adam. �Is this the way you treat all your patients?�

�It�s important to show �em who�s boss,� Clayton stated. �Crazies need that.�

Sam glared at him. He wanted to throw him out of the house right then. Sam would have, but he knew if Todd came out and became violent or a violent alter came out, he would need Clayton�s strength. Instead he said, �If I ever hear you use that term again you will be fired.�

Blair had laid out absorbent briefs, a sweatshirt, a pair of sweat pants and a pair of socks before she and Dorothy went to clean up the bathroom. Sam and Clayton managed to get Adam dressed.

�There you go Adam. Nice and clean and dry,� Sam said soothingly.

Adam was still crying, although, it had lowered.

�I bought you a BIG yellow ball and a top,� Sam tried to sound as animated as his worn out body could sound. �Let�s go play.� Sam took Adam�s hand.

Adam allowed himself to be taken downstairs. Sam didn�t know that Adam remembered that was where a new favorite place to play was . . . the downstairs bathroom.

Blair sat wearily on the couch. They had just finished cleaning up the mess. Dorothy had taken the large, black plastic bag of used, wet paper towels out to the incinerator.

�Adam,� Blair called out lovingly when she saw Sam and Clayton bring him back down. �Look at you all clean and dry.�

Adam pulled away from the two men and immediately headed for the downstairs bathroom. When he was met with a closed door, he banged on it, trying to get it to open. Adam still had no idea how to use a doorknob. He began to jump up and down and cry.

Sam and Blair rushed to him.

�No, sweetie, you can�t play in there. I�m sorry. Oh please don�t get so upset.� Blair hated that she was causing this child so much misery. She remembered the way she blamed Susannah and everyone else for making Adam tantrum. Blair realized now how easy it was to set him off.

Sam got the bright yellow ball he bought. �Adam look! Ball! Look!� Sam held it up in front of Adam�s face.

Adam knocked it out of Sam�s hand and continued to jump and cry. He started to bite his own hand.

�No! No hurting yourself,� Sam tried to be gentle as he pulled Adam�s hand out of his mouth. Nevertheless the way he did it caused a break in the skin of Adam�s hand.

�Damn! Get some antiseptic and a bandage,� Sam called out to Dorothy who had just come back into the apartment.

Dorothy hesitated.

�Go!� Sam ordered. �I don�t want him to get an infection.�

�I have to get into that bathroom to get what you asked for,� Dorothy stated impatiently.

Sam got behind Adam, the way he had seen Susannah and the staff do it. He guided him away from the door, by the shoulder.

Adam plopped down on the floor so suddenly Sam tripped over him. Clayton caught Sam before he fell and got him back on his feet.

Adam sat sucking his right thumb. He began to wiggle the fingers of his left hand in front of his face.

Sam and Blair tried calling to him. It was no use. Adam was completely lost in his own world.

*********

Tears had slid down T�a�s cheeks on the drive from the hospital back to the penthouse. Sadness had washed over her when she got to Todd�s unit and saw it deserted. T�a had to get Larry Wolek�s permission before the security guard would let her in. Memories of Todd and the staff filled T�a�s mind. Memories of moments she shared with Todd . . . his breakthroughs . . . memories of the alters . . . their amazing progress . . . Tom�s perfect day playing Cinderella and skating . . . movies, meals and tender moments shared with Rodd . . . Timmy . . . the twins . . . Adam�s first smile . . . playing with the baby . . . lulling him to sleep . . . bonding with Pete . . . growing closer to Viki . . . sessions with Susannah . . . learning more about herself than she ever thought possible . . . all of it flashed though T�a�s mind. The empty unit was haunting. T�a felt like all hope for her and for Todd had been ripped away. �No!� T�a said aloud. �I�ll get Todd back to where he can get well and get the life he wants and deserves. I�ll get all of us the life we deserve and I won�t let Blair or anyone else take that away,� T�a vowed.

It took T�a awhile. She finally found Adam�s blankets and the Toy Story video. She thanked the security guard and rushed back to the penthouse. T�a could see that Sam, Blair and the Mickey Mouse staff were clearly in over their heads. T�a�s fears for Todd and the alters increased drastically.

***********

�Wow! I�ll bet you�re all going to end up richer than Bill Gates,� Sam Vance compliment Paul, the young computer science major she had befriended, and some of his classmates that he had introduced her to. Sam had just bought another round of beers for them.

Eric, a tall, thin, blonde young man had just shown off some of his skills. He had hacked into Llanview University�s computer and changed some grades from �C� to �A.� He then changed them back again. He was showing off. He wanted to show Sam that he could do it. All the shy young men found her attractive. They drank in the attention and compliments she gave them.

�This is so fascinating,� Sam gushed. �You must be some of the brightest and most daring men at Llanview U.�

�We can do some things that will leave you breathless,� Gene, another of the young men, bragged.

Sam could tell that technology was a huge turn on to these boys. �I love things that are just a little dangerous . . . you know . . . higher stakes . . . more risk if you get caught.� Sam leaned in toward the young man. �Just between us, I find it a really big turn on.�

Gene moved in closer to Sam. He peered at her over his eyeglasses. �What kind of things did you have in mind?�

Sam puffed her cheeks as she let a breath out. She pretended to think for a few minutes. �What if I wanted to transfer some big bucks from someone�s bank account to someone else�s bank account without either of them being the wiser?�

Paul and Eric smiled at Sam�s suggestion. Gene eyed her suspiciously. �You planning on scamming someone out of his or her money?�

�No, silly. I was just wondering if it could be done. That�s okay. I know you guys are good, but I didn�t think you were that good. It�s okay.�

�Gene is,� Paul said with pride in his friend. �Gene, tell her about that job you did for that lady. He was able to break into the bank account of the richest man in town.�

�Shut up man!� Gene ordered. �He doesn�t know what he�s talking about,� Gene told Sam.

Sam cozied up to Gene. �Too bad. I was getting goose bumps just thinking about it. I pegged you for someone cool enough to pull off something like that. I guess I was wrong. It really is too bad.� Sam�s voice lowered to a whisper. She linked her arm through Gene�s. �I would pay some big bucks to someone who could do something just like that for me.� Sam could see a small gleam form in Gene�s eyes.

�A nice lady like you would want to do that?� Gene removed his glasses and asked.

�I think you�re a big enough boy to realize that I�m not that nice.�

�Maybe I am,� Gene went along with it.

�So how much did you charge that lady to do that kind of job for her?�

�I never said I actually did it,� Gene countered.

�Hypothetically, if you did a job like that, how much would that woman have had to pay you?�

�Three grand,� Gene stated.

�Whew!� Sam whistled. �That�s kind of steep. I�d have to know I was getting my money�s worth.�

�You�d be willing to pay that much?� Gene was getting more invested.

�If you�re really that good and I know you�d get the job done right.�

�He�s that good!� Eric vouched for his friend. �If he could get money out of Asa Buchanan�s bank account, he could get it from anyone.�

Sam smiled. Bingo! She thought to herself.

***********

�He didn�t get his medication yet!� Sam couldn�t believe it. �He was supposed to get it hours ago.� Sam had just come back downstairs. He had gone up to change his clothes. They had gotten wet while he was bathing Adam.

�Adam won�t take it. I tried mixing what I could in with some juice. I put it in his sippy cup and he wouldn�t take it. We weren�t able to get access to his feeding tube before,� Blair explained. �Now that he�s quiet, Dorothy went into the kitchen to prepare a feeding. She�ll give him his meds too.�

�The pharmacist said it�s important he take his medication on schedule, especially the Dilantin.�

�I asked Dorothy,� Blair said in a worried voice. �She said a few hours won�t make any difference.�

The downstairs buzzer sounded before Sam had a chance to reply.

�Yes,� Blair said into the house phone. �Send her up,� Blair told the doorman when he announced it was T�a. �Great!� Blair muttered under her breath.

�I brought all his blankets, in case he gets cold or you need to cover him with something after a bath.� T�a handed the blankets to Sam. �Here�s his Toy Story video,� T�a added as she pulled it out of her purse.

�Thank you T�a,� Blair said with false sweetness. �As you can see, everything is fine now. Adam is calm. You can leave.�

T�a looked at Adam. She saw he was locked in his own world and no one was attempting to help him get out of it. �Have you tried to engage him in something?� she asked.

�If you mean have we tortured him with ABA and forced him to do things he doesn�t want to do, no we haven�t. Adam is doing what he wants right now. He seems perfectly happy to me.�

�Is that the life you want for him when he�s out . . . sitting and stimming all day?� T�a posed.

�I have his meds,� Dorothy announced as she came into the room carrying a tray of items.

T�a looked at her watch. �He�s not scheduled for any of his meds now.�

�We�re a little behind schedule on his meds,� Sam admitted.�

T�a walked closer to Sam. �It�s important that he take them on time Sam. You know that.�

�I know. I-I-I-we ran behind. Things were a little chaotic and . . .�

�You don�t have to apologize to her!� Blair spat out angrily. �T�a! You have no business here.�

�No, Blair, Todd is still my business. I�m his wife. Okay, look you won. You got Todd out of the hospital. Please, take him back there now. If you ever loved Todd, do what�s best for him. You have to see that this is not it.�

�Man, it must kill you to see that Todd and these precious children are somewhere safe and they can�t be tortured anymore. What�s the matter T�a? Are you afraid that Kevin will be turned off when he finds out that you weren�t able to keep the Buchanan plan going?�

T�a shook her head. She knew there was no point in talking to Blair right now. �Sam, please. You see this isn�t working out. Take him back to the hospital before any real damage is done. If you don�t want to take him back to his unit, take him to another hospital.�

�As if the Buchanan money can�t reach another doctor at another hospital,� Blair spoke before Sam could respond. �We�re not that naive T�a. Todd is where he belongs, his home! He�s with people who really love him and are looking out for his best interest. Sam is finally getting the chance to a good father. He�s getting the chance to make things up to Todd and you want to take that away from him. You want to take that away from Todd. You don�t want him to have the father he always wanted and needed because you want him to stay dependant on you.�

�You are so twisted,� T�a said softly. She faced Sam. �You know that�s not true.� T�a could see that Blair got to Sam again. �Sam, I know you love Todd with all your heart. He will think of you as his father no matter where he is. This isn�t the way. You need to do what�s right for Todd.�

Sam looked at Adam. Adam did seem content. Sam flashed back to Adam�s last ABA session. He flashed back to Timmy writhing in pain when he had the dystonic reaction. He remembered the money in Susannah�s bank account that came from Asa and the pictures of T�a and Kevin. He remembered Tom asking if Kevin was T�a�s boyfriend. Images of T�a and Viki in deep conversation came back to him. Sam�s illness clouded his judgment once again.

�Todd and Adam and all of the alters are right where they belong,� Sam said slowly. �They are in their home. They�re safe here. I�ll make sure of it. I know you don�t think I can keep Todd safe because I never did when he was a child and teenager. I�ll show you that you�re wrong. You won�t be able to talk Viki into cutting me out of her life and Todd�s life.�

�What? Sam, I would never do that. Viki loves you. Todd loves you. If they could speak for themselves, neither one of them would want you to do this.�

�Todd did speak for himself,� Blair interjected. �He wanted this. He told Sam he wanted this. You heard him with your own ears at the hearing. Did he sound like someone who wanted to stay in hospital?�

�Newsflash Blair! That was Saber. For God�s sake! Think about it. Do you really believe Todd would have been able to stay that calm and together at the hearing? Do you think Todd would have been able to hear all of us talking about him that way and just sit there without reacting?�

�It was Todd!� Sam said firmly. �I know that boy! It was Todd,� Sam whispered the last statement.

Sam remembered some of the things Todd said before the hearing . . . things about wanting him to be his father . . . about allowing him to make things up to him. Todd told him how much he wanted to live with him now. Sam couldn�t allow himself to believe that Todd said none of those things. He couldn�t believe that it was Saber manipulating him into getting him out of the hospital. Sam couldn�t allow himself to believe that his judgment had become so impaired that he couldn�t tell the difference between Todd and Saber. Sam�s mind protected him from acknowledging this, and even more, protected him from understanding that if it was Saber, Todd was in danger and he had placed him there.

�Blair is right T�a,� Sam said in that disconnected tone his voice had taken on of late. �You need to go. Todd doesn�t want you around and it�s my job to honor his wishes.�

T�a moved closer to Sam. �Todd loves you very much. Sam, he does trust you to watch out for him and protect him. I know you want to believe that you took Todd from the hospital. You didn�t. That was Saber. I�m sure of it and so are Doctor Hanen and the staff from Todd�s unit.� T�a thought for a moment. �Since Adam came out, my guess is that Todd came out at some point and became terrified. Adam usually comes out when Todd and everyone in the system are completely overwhelmed. I think if you look back you�ll recognize the difference between Todd�s behavior at the hearing and when he left the hospital with you and his behavior at some point right before Adam came out.�

Blair remembered the sudden anxiety attack that preceded Adam surfacing. She saw that Sam was remembering it too. She didn�t want him believing T�a. �What happened was that Todd probably fell asleep for a few minutes and had a nightmare or became frightened when Dorothy came into give him his medication. Todd�s been hurt so much by whatever they were giving him at that hospital that now he�s frightened of taking anything. That�s why Adam came out. Now we have let you have your say, more than your say. Don�t make me have to get a restraining order to keep you away from here T�a.�

�Sam, do you believe what Blair just said?� T�a gave it one more chance.

�Yes, that is what it was. It was Todd I was with before the hearing,� Sam insisted, more to himself than to T�a.

T�a heard how detached Sam sounded. She knew he was shutting down and nothing she said right now would get through to him. T�a squeezed Sam�s hand. �Todd is in there somewhere, trusting you to do the right thing for him and save him. Sam, please don�t let him down.� T�a knelt down and kissed Adam�s head and left. She prayed that on some level she got through to Sam.

�Do you believe her gall?� Blair exclaimed. She saw Sam�s face. �Sam, you don�t believe that garbage she was spewing? She�ll say anything to get Todd back to that hospital. She knows Kevin will be furious with her when he gets back. She probably told him she was such a great lawyer that no one would ever be able to get Todd somewhere safe. She probably bragged to him about stealing my little girl away from me to prove how good she was.�

Sam stared straight ahead.

�Sam, that was not Saber! Come on! We love Todd. We know him. We would know if that was not Todd. Don�t let her make you doubt yourself. That�s just what she came here to do, that self-serving bitch. She wants you to believe that you are not a good father. Then she can try to convince Viki to leave you and cut you out of Todd�s life. If you can show Viki how you saved Todd she�ll never believe T�a�s lies. Viki will want you to be the father Todd never had more than ever. She�ll never want you out of her life either.�

Sam finally nodded.

Blair hugged him. �We did the right thing. Todd and Viki will love you more than ever for doing this.�

Sam and Blair looked over to where Adam sat. Dorothy got up from the chair she had pushed next to Adam. �He�s been medicated and fed. Is it all right if I take a break?�

�Where�s Clayton?� Blair asked when she saw he was nowhere to be seen.

�He�s in his room taking a nap.�

�A nap!� Blair snapped. �He�s supposed to be on duty?�

�Well he wasn�t needed right now. There are only two of us here and we have to sleep sometime.�

Blair shook her head and sighed. She was bone weary.

Sam didn�t say a word. He walked over to Adam and crouched down next to him. He put his arm around Adam�s shoulder and hugged the little boy to him. Adam didn�t acknowledge him in any way. �We need to get him to bed,� Sam commented without looking at Blair or Dorothy.

�You�re right,� Blair agreed. She addressed Dorothy. �Please wake Clayton up and tell him he�s needed down here in case we have a problem getting Adam to bed. Either Sam or I will sleep in the extra bed we put in Todd�s room. I want one of you posted outside the door to his room throughout the night. Do I make myself clear?�

�Yes, Mrs. Manning. I�ll go get Clayton.�

**********

SECRETS

PART 128 PAGE 3

Getting Adam to bed went much more smoothly than anyone expected. The three-year-old was tired. He lay on his side at first, sucking his thumb and rocking himself. As sleep overtook him, he turned onto his stomach.

Sam told Blair he would be staying in the room with Adam. He just asked that she stay with him while he got ready for bed.

Blair realized that neither she nor Sam had eaten. Sam declined, saying he wasn�t hungry. Blair was too tired. All she wanted was to get some sleep herself. She sat on the bed stroking Adam�s hair. �Todd, I�m doing this because I love you. If you heard any of those things T�a said, I hope you know not to believe them.�

When Sam came out of the bathroom, Blair kissed Adam goodnight and left for her room. Before she left, she squeezed Sam�s shoulder and said, �Everything will be all right. Todd is safe now because of what we did.�

***********

Bill could see Susannah�s was lost in thought. The pizza they had ordered remained untouched, except for a couple of bites they each took. A repeat of an HBO George Carlin special played on the T.V. They chose it because they were both fans of the comedian. Neither of them was able to pay attention.

Bill aimed the remote at the television and shut it off. He hugged Susannah to him. �We�ll get whoever did this and we�ll prove to Sam that you would never hurt Todd.�

Susannah nodded.

�I know you�re afraid that something will happen to Todd in the meantime,� Bill gently stated.

�I�m not just afraid Bill. I feel it. Oh God, I just feel it.�

***********

��Mommy! Mommy!�

Sam jumped up when he heard Timmy call out. He realized a switch had occurred while Adam slept.

�Mommy, I thcared. I thcared. Mommy!�

Sam turned the light on. �Timmy, it�s Daddy. I�m right here.� Sam sat on the bed and pulled Timmy into his arms.

Timmy looked around. �Where dhis ith? I thcared.�

Dorothy looked into the room. She squinted her eyes. She had been sound asleep at her post outside the door.

Blair came running in from her room. Timmy�s cries woke her out of her fitful sleep as it had Sam from his.

�You�re in your own room cutie pie,� Blair soothed. She too sat on the bed. She rubbed Timmy�s back.

�Who you?� a terrified and confused Timmy asked.

�Timmy, it�s Blair. Sweetie, you know me.�

Timmy stared at Blair through frightened eyes.

Slowly some recognition came to him. �You�re Thtarr�s mommy.�

�That�s right, baby. I�m Starr�s mommy.�

�Wheth�th my mommy?� Timmy asked as large tears trickled down his cheeks.

�Mommy�s not here right now,� Blair said softly. She stroked Timmy�s head.

Timmy looked around. �Dhis not my woom. Wheth�th Mommy? Wheth�th Kebin and Tee and my Dota Hamen and Tewwy and Fwank? Dhis not my woom. Dhis not my woom,� Timmy cried loudly.

�What the hell�s goin� on here?� Clayton said as he peered into the bedroom. �This is supposed to be my break time.�

�Another one of those kid alters came out,� Dorothy informed him.

�Man! This one�s got a good pair of lungs on him. I was sound asleep.�

�Well it was almost time for you to take over for me anyway,� Dorothy said in her raspy voice.

�Who dat?� Timmy pointed to Dorothy and Clayton. His eyes filled with terror.

�It�s okay, cutie pie, the man�s name is Clayton and the woman�s name is Dorothy. They�re here to help you and take care of you.�

�No,� Timmy protested. �Wheth�th Fwank? Wheth�th Connie and Tewwy and Dave? Wheth�th Dota Hamen? Dhey take care of me. I want my mommy. I want Kebin and Tee! Kebin! Tee! Mommyyyyy!� Timmy cried loudly for them. He tried to pull away from Blair and Sam.

�Pal, listen to me. Mommy and Kevin are in Arizona. Do you remember?�

Timmy sat quietly for a few seconds. He nodded. �Dethicca and Kebin�s daddy got big boo-boos.�

Sam hugged Timmy. �That�s right. They have to stay with Jessica and Kevin�s daddy for a while.�

Timmy held up three fingers. �Kebin call me dhis many times ewewy day.�

Sam and Blair exchanged worried looks. They knew that was going to cause problems.

Timmy looked around again. More tears fell. �Dhis not my woom. I wan go my woom.�

�Cutie pie, this is your room. Do you remember when you lived here with Todd?� Blair tried to remind him.

Timmy looked around again. He shrugged. �I wan my odher woom. Wheth�th Mthter Wabbit?�

Blair turned to Dorothy and pointed to one of the closets. �Please get the stuffed rabbit from the bag of toys in there. Your new nurse is going to get Mr. Rabbit for you, okay cutie pie.�

When Dorothy stepped all the way into the room to get to the closet, Timmy began to scream.

�What is it? Timmy, what�s wrong?� Sam held Timmy tightly

�Baby, what is it? What�s the matter?� Blair had the same sound of panic in her voice that Sam had.

�I don wike! I don wike! I don wan new nurthe. I wan Tewwy! I wan Marthia! I wan Ewieen! I wan all my own nurtheth. I wan Dota Hamen. I wan Fwank and Jeff and Andelo. I wan my mommy! I wan Kebin. I wan Tee. Tee thaid the thtay wid me. The way down wid me when I sweep. I wan Tee. Tee! Tee! Tee! Tee where are you? Teeeeeee!�

�Want me to give him a shot to put him out?� Dorothy asked.

�No thot! No thot!� Timmy�s cries became even louder. �Mommy! I thcared. I wan to my woom. I wan Dota Hamen! Teeee! Teee you pwomised you thtay wid me. Teeee, where are you? Teeee!�

�Shhhh, no shot. No shot,� Sam promised. He held Timmy wrapped in tightly in his arms. �Get them out of here,� Sam angrily told Blair.

�Sam,� Blair whispered through nearly closed lips. �We might need them.�

Sam looked at Blair with fury in his eyes. �Get them out of here!�

Blair stood up. �I think you�d both better wait downstairs.�

�Uh, Mrs. Manning, we�re supposed to keep you safe,� Clayton blurted out.

Dorothy poked Clayton in the ribs with her elbow.

�Keep me safe? What are you talking about? Your job is to keep Todd and the alters safe and attend to their medical needs.�

�That�s right Mrs. Manning,� Dorothy quickly tired to cover. �Clayton just assumed that meant keeping you and Mr. Rappaport safe too.�

�Well, don�t worry about us. You are frightening Timmy so you need to wait downstairs. I�ll yell if we need you.�

Clayton and Dorothy exchanged looks and shrugged. They headed downstairs. They were both relieved to get away from Timmy�s cries and shrieks.

�Mommy! Kebin! Tee!� Timmy continued to cry.

�Daddy has you. It�s okay. I won�t let anyone ever hurt my precious boy,� Sam soothed. He gently rocked Timmy. Sam looked over at Blair. �Where the hell was your judgment? You hire a decent staff and then get rid of these two.�

Blair felt like strangling Dorian.

�I wan Mthter Wabbit,� Timmy wailed.

Blair went to the closet. She looked through everything. Mr. Rabbit was nowhere to be found.

�Sam, are you sure you packed M-R. R-A-B-B-I-T?� Blair spelled it out so Timmy wouldn�t get even more upset.

�Yes! I�m positive. I made very sure that went into the suitcase.�

What Sam didn�t know that Saber had pulled Timmy�s beloved toy out of the suitcase after Sam had packed it. He�d hidden it behind the dresser in the room, wedged between the wall and the piece of furniture. Saber loved nothing more than to see Todd and every alter, except Rocky, suffer. It wasn�t that Saber loved Rocky or even cared about him. He just didn�t hate him.

Blair looked again. She stood on a chair to check the highest shelf and the back of the lower one. She checked the floor and shook the clothes, in case the stuffed toy was stuck to something. Blair�s heart pounded as Timmy continued to cry for his toy in addition to his human loved ones.

�Sam,� Blair got his attention. She shook her head.

Oh God! Sam thought to himself. He was so sure he remembered packing the toy. Now he began to doubt himself. �Was the suitcase opened anywhere else in the apartment?� Sam asked Blair.

�No. Clayton placed it on the bed and I unpacked it myself.� Blair knelt down and looked under the bed. She stood and shook her head.

�Timmy,� Sam said softly. �We can�t find Mr. Rabbit right now. Daddy will go to the hospital in the morning and get him for you. He�s probably still there.�

Timmy�s cries and screams grew louder. �I bad boy. Ewewybody go way cause I bad boy. Mommy don thtop Daddy from hurting me cause I bad boy. Mommy go way. Mommy Viki go way. Kebin go way. Tee go way. Dota Hamen and Fwank and Tewwy and ewewybody go way. Mthter Wabbit go way too. Ewewybody hates me cause I bad, thtupid boy. Dhey hate me cause I got borned.�

�Oh sweetie,� Blair ran to him and rubbed his back. �Don�t you even think that. No one hates you. We all love you so much. Everyone is very happy that you were born.�

�Blair�s right pal. All those people love you. They love you so much and so do I. Daddy loves you. I love you more than anything. I�m so proud to be your daddy.�

�Mommy went way. Kebin too. Tee thay the thtay widh me. Teeee! Where Tee!� Timmy screamed.

�Maybe I should call T�a,� Sam whispered.

�Sam, we don�t want Timmy to continue to be vulnerable to T�a. He doesn�t realize that she will end up hurting him,� Blair whispered back.

***********

�Oh man! It�s five in the morning. Is that kid ever gonna shut up!� Clayton barked when he came downstairs and saw Dorothy already sitting on the couch having a cup of coffee.

�You�re not the only one who didn�t get any sleep so quit your whining. This is already my third cup. I�ve got to talk to Mrs. Hayes. She didn�t tell us it was going to be like this. We didn�t have anything like this at the prison.�

�What the hell kind of crazy is this DID? That wacko even looks and sounds like a kid when he changes. Damn spooky!�

�Don�t let Mrs. Manning or Mr. Rappaport hear you talking like that or you�ll get us both in trouble. We�re getting paid a lot to do this job,� Dorothy reminded him.

�They spoil that kid rotten . . . letting him scream and cry all night. They oughta leave me alone with that brat for a few minutes. I�d shut him up,� Clayton bragged.

************

Blair and Sam exchanged anxious glances every few minutes. Timmy was once again walking around the bedroom carrying his stuffed panda by the arm. He was crying and calling out T�a, Kevin, Mommy and Mr. Rabbit. Timmy�s eyes were swollen. His face was blotchy and tear stained.

Sam and Blair would get Timmy to lie down for a few minutes at a time. They held him, rubbed his back, stroked his head, sang to him and rocked him. Nothing helped. Over and over again, he climbed out of bed and walked around the room, crying for those he thought left him forever.

When Timmy�s tears had not let up, Blair had driven to the hospital at one in the morning and pleaded with a security guard to let her search the unit for Mr. Rabbit. He finally relented. Blair started to cry herself when she could not find the stuffed toy. She had no way of knowing Saber had hidden Mr. Rabbit. Blair came back to the penthouse empty-handed.

As the hours passed and Timmy showed no signs of calming down Blair and Sam tried to get Timmy to take some sleep medication. When the mention of medication made Timmy scream and cry even more, they tried to get him to drink some juice with his medication in it. They both quickly came to realize that they might have been wrong when they protested the use of medication to calm Todd and the alters, although, neither of them could bring themselves to call Dorothy in to give Timmy a shot.

At one point Sam whispered to Blair, �Maybe we should call T�a? We can�t get Viki or Kevin here for Timmy, but we can get T�a.�

Blair looked at the tortured little boy in front of her and thought about it for a few minutes. �No,� she whispered back. �Timmy will never stop needing T�a if he continues to be around her. He doesn�t realize that she wants to hurt Todd and see him suffer. No, keeping T�a away is the best thing to do for him.� Blair needed to believe this or she would have to face the fact that just the way, at times, she hurt Starr by keeping her away from her father, it was she who was adding to this four-year-old�s suffering by denying him access to someone he loved and needed.

Finally, as the sun came up, Timmy drifted off to a fitful sleep as Sam sat next to him, on the bed, rubbing his back. Sam decided to go to the hospital and look for Mr. Rabbit himself. He hoped that some of the staff from Todd�s unit might be there . . . perhaps they saw the toy and had tucked it away for safekeeping. Sam hated leaving Timmy with Blair, Dorothy and Clayton. He wasn�t afraid that Blair would hurt Timmy. He was terrified that Clayton or Dorothy would. Sam cursed the timing of this. If it weren�t for the weekend, a long holiday weekend no less, he�d be able to call an agency and hire staff of his approval.

Blair sat on the bed watching over Timmy. She was extremely tired and uncomfortable. She had been without decent sleep or a shower for more than twenty-four hours. Blair looked closely at Timmy. He seemed to be sound asleep. She turned on the intercom and went downstairs.

Clayton was lying on the couch, asleep.

�Clayton. Clayton, wake up,� Blair called. �Clayton!�

�Huh? . . . What?�

�Wake up! Where�s Dorothy?� Blair asked in an annoyed tone.

�Uh . . . the kitchen I think . . . she said she was going to make some coffee. Mrs. Manning. Neither of us got any sleep last night. We . . .�

�Neither did Sam and I,� Blair cut him off. �Right now I need both of you watch Timmy. He�s sleeping. I don�t want you to wake him up. Just sit with him while I take a shower and change my clothes. Sam went to the hospital to look for Timmy�s favorite toy. He should be back soon. Hopefully some more staff will get here today.�

Dorothy came out of the kitchen holding two cups of coffee. A donut was sticking out of her mouth.

Blair glared at her. �I need both you to go upstairs and watch Timmy while I shower and change. He�s sleeping. Please be quiet and don�t wake him up. Dorothy, if he should wake up I want you to come into my bathroom and get me immediately. Do you both understand?�

Dorothy put down the cups and took the donut out of her mouth. �Yes, Mrs. Manning.�

�We gotcha,� Clayton replied and yawned.

They followed Blair upstairs and quietly walked into Todd�s room. Timmy was still asleep. Blair pulled the blanket covering him up higher and left to take her shower.

Blair hurried through the shower faster than she ever had before. The moment she turned off the water she heard loud voices. Without stopping to dry her hair or body, Blair threw on her robe and rushed to Todd�s room.

�No! You�re a bad boy! No more yelling and crying!� Dorothy admonished Timmy. She was slapping his thigh and his buttocks as he cowered in the corner.

�Get away from him! What the fuck is wrong with you! How dare you hit that child,� Blair cried out.

Dorothy looked surprised to see Blair back so quickly. �Uh . . . um . . . Mrs. Manning, he was carrying on something awful. He was getting too agitated. You told us not to give him a shot. I . . .�

�So you thought you�d beat him into being calm. What the hell kind of monster are you?�

�I . . .�

�Just shut up! Don�t say another word,� Blair ordered.

Blair crouched down next to Timmy. He had pulled himself into a little ball. He was rocking so wildly, Blair feared he would have a seizure. �Timmy. Baby. It�s all right. I�m so sorry that mean ol� nurse hurt you. I promise I�ll make her go away. I won�t let anyone ever hurt you again.�

Timmy continued to rock.

Blair placed her hands on either side of Timmy�s face and lifted it. He stopped rocking. His body stiffened. His eyes stared blankly ahead.

�Oh my God! What did you do to him!� Blair accused.

Dorothy knelt down next to Timmy. She reached out for his neck, so she could take his pulse.

�No! Don�t hurt Timmy! Don�t hurt Timmy,� Tom cried out. He put his arms tightly around himself, thinking he was protecting Timmy.

The next thing Blair knew she was pushed over, onto her side. Todd�s body leapt on Dorothy. He pushed her down to the floor.

�Don�t you even think about touching them again, you fucking bitch! I�ll kill you! I�ll kill you!�

Blair recognized Pete�s voice.

Pete clenched Dorothy�s top in his fists. �They�re little kids! You piece of shit! You don�t hurt a kid!�

�NO!� Blair screamed when Clayton pounced on top of Pete. He pulled him off Dorothy and wrestled him to the floor. �Don�t! Leave him alone. He was just protecting Timmy and Tom. Get off of him! Stop!�

Clayton didn�t listen to Blair. He was doing what he did best, his favorite part of the job. He was showing Pete who was boss.

Clayton pushed Pete face down on the floor. He sat on him. He had his arms anchored in back of him. Pete�s face was pressed into the carpet.

�Get off! Get off! I�ll kill you! I�ll kill you! I won�t let you do it to me! I won�t let you do it to any of us. I�ll kill you. I swear this time I�ll kill you!� Pete threatened. The carpet muffled his voice.

�Not so tough now, are you motherfucker?� Clayton was taunting. �Get a shot ready and stick him anywhere. Just get that shit into him,� Clayton yelled to Dorothy.

��GET AWAY FROM HIM! OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM!� Blair yanked on Clayton�s arm.

�Mrs. Manning,� Dorothy said loudly. �He�s out of control and needs to be contained. You gotta let me drug him.�

�LET GO OF HIM!� Blair screamed. She began to punch and kick Clayton with all her might. �GET OUT!� Blair shrieked. �I�M CALLING THE POLICE. I�LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.�

�You�d better stay down,� Clayton warned Pete before he let go of him and climbed off him.

Pete stayed still. His ribs were bruised and it was difficult for him to take a full breath.

Blair knelt down next to Pete. �Oh God, I�m sorry. I�ll never let them near you again. Are you all right?�

�Where�s Doctor Hanen?� Pete whispered.

�She�s not here. Please don�t be afraid. No one will hurt you anymore.� Blair tried to brush the hair out of his face.

Pete pulled away from her touch. He managed to sit up. He inched his way across the floor until he made contact with the wall. He looked dazed and confused.

Blair stood up and looked daggers at the Dorothy and Clayton. �Get out, both of you. You�re fired!� she said through clenched teeth.

�Mrs. Manning, we were only doing our job. Protecting you,� Dorothy defended their actions.

�Your job was to protect Todd and the alters, not abuse and traumatize them.�

�Someone needs to tell your aunt that,� Clayton blurted out.

�What are you talking about?� Blair asked in a trembling voice.

�Nothing,� Dorothy claimed. She knew that records were falsified for Blair�s benefit and that she had Clayton had lied under oath at the hearing. Things were getting out of hand. �If you want us to leave, we�ll leave. I just hope you know that you�re in danger.� Dorothy pointed to Pete. �He�s dangerous.�

�You let me worry about that!� Blair snapped. �Now you get whatever you came with and you get the hell out of here or I swear, I will call the police.�

After they had gone, Blair stood trembling with anger and fear.

Pete looked around. �This is the penthouse,� he said slowly.

�Yes, Pete. You�re home. You�re all home. You�ll never have to go back to that awful hospital again.�

Pete�s eyes filled with pain. �You mean Doctor Hanen threw us out of the hospital? She didn�t want us there no more?�

Blair heard the hurt in his voice. �No. It wasn�t anything like that. She wanted to keep you there. Sam and I thought this was the best place for you. We fought to bring you here. There was a hearing.�

�Hearing?� Pete was still confused. �You mean like a trial?�

�Something like that,� Blair confirmed.

�And Doctor Hanen and the staff just let us go because some judge said so?�

�They had no choice,� Blair said softly.

Pete stared off into space. �They�re all the same.�

�Who�s all the same?� Blair asked.

�Women! Even some men. They tell you to trust them. They get you to believe they really care and then they dump you! They don�t think you�re worth fighting for. All of you are just a bunch of whores. I hate you! I hate all of you!� Pete stood up! �Does Todd know we�re here?� he queried.

�I think he does.�

Pete looked around again. �Where�s Viki?�

�Viki is in Arizona with Kevin and the rest of the Buchanans. Do you know about Jessica and Clint?�

�No. What about them?� Pete rubbed his sore neck and asked.

�They were in a terrible car accident. They�re going to be fine, so don�t you worry, but Viki had to go to Arizona to be with them.�

�So she walked out on us too,� Pete said softly.

�No. I just told you that her daughter and ex-husband were in a serious accident.�

�You also said they�re gonna be fine! Doesn�t matter . . . they all leave sooner or later. Who cares! I don�t need any of them. I never did and I never will. I don�t need anybody.� Pete looked around again. �Guess Delgado�s gone too.�

For one moment, doing the right thing crossed Blair�s mind. She was going to tell Pete that T�a wants very much to see him. No, it will just hurt him for while if he thinks she left him. She�ll hurt Pete and all of them much more if she stays a part of their life. I�m doing the right thing. I am! Blair thought to herself.

�Pete,� Blair said gently. �You need to forget about T�a and Doctor Hanen. Viki will visit you when she comes home. Sam is staying here. He loves you very much. He wants to be a real father to you. I�m here. I�m not leaving. I promise. I love all of you very much too. Someday soon Starr will come home and she loves all of you more than anything.�

Pete glared at Blair furiously. �You mean you and Sam got stuck with us after everyone else gave up on us and left!� Pete began to pace. He rubbed his hands through his hair in an attempt to self-sooth. I knew it was all bullshit! I knew it! All that love and hug crap. It was all a lie! Well, I never fell for it anyway! They can fool Todd and the kids with that. THEY NEVER FOOLED ME! NO ONE EVER FOOLED ME! I KNEW IT WAS ALL BULLSHIT AND I JUST PLAYED THEM FOR A FOOL BY MAKING THEM THINK I BELIEVED THEM.� Pete picked up a chair and smashed it against the wall. �YOU TELL THEM THAT! IF YOU SEE THEM YOU TELL THEM I PLAYED ALL OF THEM FOR A FUCKING FOOL! I DON�T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU OR SAM OR STARR AND I REALLY DON�T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT VIKI OR T�A OR DOCTOR HANEN OR ANY OF THOSE ASSHOLES AT THE HOSPITAL. I DON�T NEED ANYONE AND I DON�T CARE ABOUT ANYONE. I TOLD YOU THAT! FUCK ALL OF YOU! I DON�T NEED THIS SHIT!�

Blair cowered against the wall. She was terrified to be alone with Pete.

�What?� Blair recognized Todd�s voice.

�Todd?�

Todd looked around. He saw Blair, still trembling in the corner of the room. He saw the smashed chair. He realized he was in the penthouse. He was terrified. �What did I do? What did I do!�

Blair started to calm. �Nothing. You didn�t do anything wrong.�

Todd panicked. �Shorty! Is Shorty here?�

�No. Sweetie, she�s with Dorian. You told me you didn�t want Starr here when you first came home and I honored that.�

�It really happened?� Todd asked as her surveyed his surroundings again.

�What really happened?� Blair inquired.

�They let me go. Delgado . . . Doctor Hanen . . . Viki . . . Frank . . . the rest of the staff . . . they didn�t fight to keep me . . . they let me go.�

Blair took a deep breath. She realized that Todd shared Pete�s pain and feelings of abandonment.

�It wasn�t that they let you go. Sam and I fought for you and we won.�

Todd laughed. �You won! What . . . the prize from hell.�

�Oh, sweetie, don�t think like that. Sam and I are very happy to have you back home. We�ll keep you safe and sound and you�ll get back to being yourself in no time.�

Todd picked up a piece of the broken chair and looked at it. �Yeah, myself.� He threw it back down.

Suddenly Todd remembered. �Jessica? When is it? How much time has passed? Is Jessica . . . I mean did she . . .?�

�Jessica is going to be all right,� Blair said quickly. �Todd, you�ve only been here since yesterday. Not that much time has gone by.�

Todd swallowed hard. �That�s good. Jessica�s a good kid. She deserves to have a long happy life.�

�So do you. Sweetie, you deserve to have a long happy life too.�

�Is Viki still in Arizona?� Todd asked.

�Yes. She�ll probably be there for several more days at least.�

Todd looked away. �Has T�a tried to see me?�

�She was here last night,� Blair said bitterly. �Todd, don�t you see? It kills her to know that you�re safe now and only with those that love you.�

�She came here while one of those kids was out?� Todd asked. He hadn�t even heard anything Blair said after she told him that T�a was there.

�Yes. Adam was out. Don�t worry. I didn�t let her hurt him. I won�t ever let her hurt any of you again.�

�Did I do anything embarrassing while she was here?�

�Sam and I are never embarrassed by you sweetie.�

�I meant did I do anything to embarrass myself in front of T�a?� Todd asked angrily.

�No!� Blair was hurt that T�a was all Todd cared about. �What the hell do you care what she thinks of you anyway! All she wants is to hurt you to prove herself to Kevin!�

�I don�t care,� Todd denied his feelings. �I just wanted to know. Now I just want you to shut up and leave me alone. Can you do that? Can do that for five goddamn minutes Blair? Your voice is really annoying me.� Todd saw the tears that sprang to Blair�s eyes when he said that. He knew he should care that he hurt her; he didn�t. He couldn�t muster up the energy. �Oh screw it,� Todd muttered to himself. �I wanna be alone Blair. I need some time to think. I haven�t been alone in a long time.�

Blair became anxious. �I don�t think that�s a good idea. It�s just the two of us here. Why don�t I sit quietly in the corner and you can lie down for a while. I won�t bother you.�

�Just the two of us?� Todd didn�t understand. �Wasn�t Sam supposed to be here? Didn�t you say something about hiring some staff?�

�Sam had to go out for a while and . . .� Blair winced, �the staff didn�t work out. Don�t worry,� she added quickly, �as soon as the holiday is over Sam and I will get you a wonderful staff.�

Todd was flooded with anxiety. �I�m not safe to be around. I hurt people.� Todd looked at the chair again. �I did that, didn�t I?�

�It wasn�t you. It was one of your . . . you weren�t yourself. It�s all right. I�ve broken a few pieces of furniture in my time. You didn�t hurt anyone. I don�t want you to worry about it. It�s just and old chair.�

Todd sat down on the bed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of both hands. �I�m going downstairs,� he announced.

�Todd.�

�I�m going to the living room Blair. I�m not going out to wreak havoc on Llanview. You don�t have to worry.�

�No, I didn�t mean it that way. I-I . . . would you like something to eat?� Blair changed the subject. �I can make you something or we can order out.�

�No, I�m not hungry. All I want from you is for you to leave me alone.�

Blair nodded. �I�ll just go downstairs with you. You won�t even know I�m there.�

�Whatever,� Todd grumbled. He left the bedroom.

**********

Todd plopped down on the sofa. He placed his feet on the coffee table. He rested his head against the back cushion. He didn�t notice any of the changes Blair had made in the room. Todd closed his eyes as thoughts bombarded him.

It�s for the best. They won�t miss me. They don�t really care. No one ever tries. They don�t want to keep me with them. They know . . . all of them . . . Viki . . . Doctor Hanen . . . Terry . . . Frank . . . especially Delgado . . . she knows. She must have been so disgusted when she came here and one of those kids was out. She probably couldn�t get out of here fast enough. She felt sorry for me because I was in the hospital. Now that I�m here she�s happy to be rid of me. Doctor Hanen lied. She said I could be helped. That�s just what they tell wackos to make them feel better. Frank, Dave, Angelo, they all lied. They said I wasn�t evil and disgusting. Blair is right. Bo didn�t really care and Nora didn�t really forgive me. Kevin doesn�t want to be my friend. Viki probably made them tell me that. They�ll probably find a way to send me back to Statesville now that I�m out. Don�t matter. Wherever I am, it�s never gonna stop hurting. Nothing can ever make the pain go away as long as I�m alive. That voice is right. He knows. He knows the way my dad knew. I�m a loser . . . worthless garbage. They all let me go . . . just the way my mom did.

�That�s right Todd. You know what you have to do. Now�s your chance. Do it! Hurry up before Sam gets back. It�ll be easier to get away from Blair. It�ll be easier to walk out on her,� Saber instructed.

Todd�s heart began to pound. He stood up. He walked over to the table and picked up a picture of Starr. He clutched it to his heart. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Blair sat quietly watching him. She didn�t know if she should say something or not.

�I can�t do this,� Todd whispered.

�Shhhhh,� Saber said softly. �Just think what you want to say. Don�t say it out loud. I can hear you. You can do this. If you love that little girl you won�t want her to grow up with a father like you. It�s only a matter of time before you hurt her . . . first physically . . . then . . .�

�No!� Todd shouted. 

�Todd,� Blair stood up and called out. �What is it? What�s happening?�

�Nothing. I-I-I just thought about Shorty coming home and it upset me. Leave me alone! I don�t want to talk about it.�

Blair sat down again. She wished that Sam would get back.

�Come on Todd.� Saber spoke softly again. �Don�t you know . . . like father like son. In your case like fathers like son.�

�I�d never do that to Shorty. Never!� Todd told Saber through his thoughts. �Viki said Shorty is safe with me. I never hurt her. Not once.�

�You still believe everything Viki and the others told you. Man! You are even stupider than I thought. Todd you are such a loser. They will say anything to you because they know you are crazy. They might even need to believe what they tell you because it hurts them too much to admit the truth about you. You still believe T�a and your precious Doctor Hanen and her staff care about you and love you? Look around Todd. Do you see them here? Do you see them breaking down the door to get to you? I was at that hearing Todd. They didn�t try to keep you any more than your mother tried when your father took her to court. They couldn�t wait to be rid of you. T�a had one last laugh when she came here last night. Do you want to know who she saw when she got here? She saw a three year old who can�t talk and shits and pisses in his pants.�

Todd�s face blushed bright red with shame.

Blair anxiously looked on. Come on Sam, she thought. Get home!

�Todd,� Saber continued taunting, �be a man. Do what�s right for those you claim to love.�

�I do love them,� Todd thought in a whisper.

�Then do what you need to do to stop your own pain and theirs. I feel it Todd. I feel how much you�re hurting right now. It�s only going to get worse. We had a plan. You know what you have to do. Now stop being a pansy! Be a man! You know the way to get to Blair. Do it! Do it before the chance is gone and everyone you love has to pay the price for your cowardliness.�

Todd took some deep breaths. �I can�t. Oh God, I�m scared.�

�Do you want to go on this way . . . all the therapy . . . memories on top of memories coming back to you . . . taking a chance on hurting those you love . . . making a fool out of yourself in front of them . . . feeling all the pain that you feel? If you want this or really believe that you can be forgiven and the pain will stop, tell me. If you truly believe T�a and Starr will be safe around you, tell me that. Do you look forward to the day Starr learns you�re a rapist? Do you want Viki and Sam to devote the rest of their lives to taking care of you? Speak up now.� It was crucial to Saber that Todd choose this. He wanted Todd to want to die. He did not want to murder him. Saber needed for Todd to do it by his own hand. He believed he could watch as Todd died. He needed to see it. �Tell me!� Saber said loudly.

Todd winced in pain. His head hurt.

Todd thought about how much he loved T�a and Starr. He thought of the life he dreamed of with them. He thought about how much he loved Sam and Viki. He thought about the deep affection and respect he had for Susannah and the staff at the hospital. Then flashes of the dreams he had came back to him. Seeing pain in T�a�s eyes, pain that he put there, came back to him. Visions of imagined pain in Starr�s eyes . . . the pain a child feels when he or she is completely disillusioned and disappointed with a parent haunted Todd. Seeing disappointment and heartache in everyone�s eyes as he failed yet again floated through Todd�s brain as if it were happening now. The thought of more therapy and the agony of the memories that come back assaulted him. The pain was too great.

�Yes,� Todd said to Saber through his thoughts.

�Yes what?� Saber wanted clarification.

�Yes, I want to die. It�s the only way. It�s the only way to protect everyone and to stop the pain.�

Todd felt Saber push him toward Blair. �Go ahead. You know how to get to Blair. You know what Blair thinks she has to give you.�

Todd stood frozen to the spot.

�Shit!� Saber swore. �All right. I�ll help you. I�ll do it for you. All you have to do is not fight me when I try to come out. Do you think you can do that you chicken shit faggot?�

Todd nodded. He took one more look at Starr�s picture. He kissed her image and placed it back on the table. Todd�s eyes closed.

Saber smirked as he opened his eyes. He walked to the sofa and sat down. He turned to Blair and patted the cushion next to him.

Blair immediately got up and sat down beside him.

Saber stroked Blair�s hair. �I was just thinking about how things were when we made that kid?�

Blair was a little taken aback. She never heard Todd refer to Starr as �that kid� before.

Saber quickly realized his mistake. �Shorty is the best thing we ever did.�

Blair relaxed. �Yes she is. She�s the best part of both of us. You always said that.�

Saber moved in closer to Blair. �I didn�t think it would be this difficult.�

�Being home?� Blair guessed.

�Being next to you. It�s been a long time Blair, too long.�

Blair�s muscles tightened. It wasn�t like Todd to make the first move. Throughout their sex life, Blair was always the one in control. With Todd, she liked it that way. She assumed Todd did too. Blair remembered hearing that it might have been an alter who made love to her some of the times she was with Todd. �Todd?� she questioned.

�It�s me Blair. You�re afraid of me.� Saber acted hurt. He tried his best to look meek. He realized he had to allow Blair to take the lead and dominate if he were to get her to believe that he was Todd. �It�s all right. I understand that I disgust you now.� He stood up.

Blair stood up too and held onto his hand. �No. Todd, you don�t disgust me at all.� Blair stood up and looked into his eyes. �You just got home and I don�t want to do anything to upset you.�

Saber used every ounce of self-control he had to keep from laughing. He congratulated himself on knowing how to play Blair like a fiddle.

Blair loosened her robe.

Saber knew how Todd would react to that. He looked, but didn�t touch.

Blair took Saber�s hands and placed them on her breasts. She looked into Saber�s eyes and smiled. �It�s all right. I want you to.�

Saber stroked Blair�s breasts. He allowed his fingertips to linger on her hard nipples. �You tell me when you want me to stop,� Saber repeated one of the things Todd always said when he had sex with Blair.

�I knew this part of you would come back to life as soon as you were with me,� Blair purred. Blair tucked Todd�s hair behind his ears. �It�s me, isn�t it baby? I�m the only one who makes you feel this way?�

�The only one,� Saber whispered. �Only you Blair.�

Blair took Saber�s right hand. She slowly drew it down her abdomen until it reached her crotch. �Do you remember what I like?� she asked softly.

�I remember everything,� Saber whispered back. �Blair, do you still have that silky blue thing you used to wear?�

�You remember?� Blair was surprised.

�I remember enough to want to walk into the room we once shared and see you lying on the bed wearing that. I remember the way you would wait until I came into the room and pull me down next to you until I could feel the silk next to my skin.� Saber inched closer to Blair. �I also remember the way you would climb on top of me and the things you would do once you had my cock in your hand.� Saber did all he could to keep from smirking. He had once watched Todd and Blair having sex. He had noticed that some of Blair�s moves were reminiscent of Peter Manning�s.

Blair smiled. �That can be arranged.� Then she commented, �You never used to want to talk about what we did.�

Saber realized he�d made another mistake. He quickly covered. �I�m sorry.� He hung his head, avoiding Blair�s eyes. He knew that would be Todd�s immediate reaction to what Blair just said. �It�s just that it�s been such a long time.� He glanced into Blair�s eyes and lowered his eyes again. He was playing Todd to the hilt. �I�ve dreamed of being with you again for so long. In my dreams you were always lying on the bed wearing that blue silk thing.�

Blair smiled. She stroked his hair and held her hand out. �Let�s go upstairs. You can watch me put it on.�

Saber held back. �Don�t be mad,� he whispered.

�Sweetie, I�m not mad. Oh Todd, don�t you know how happy you�re making me?�

�No, I mean don�t be mad because I want you to do it my way . . . the way we used to . . . the way I�ve dreamed about . . . me waiting for you to change . . . then walking up those stairs . . . knocking on the door . . . you telling me it�s okay to come in . . . you already in the bed wearing that . . . you pulling me to you . . .�

�We can do that,� Blair purred. Her body was tingling at the thought.

�I�ll give you ten minutes. You go upstairs and you get ready. Is that okay?� Saber�s tone was properly docile.�

Blair hugged him. She pressed her body into his and kissed him deeply. �I�ll be ready in five.� Blair rushed up the stairs, happier than she�d been in a very long time.

Saber wiped his mouth with the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. �You disgusting whore,� he spat out.

Saber found Blair�s purse where she always kept it. He took whatever cash she had and her car keys. He took one last look at the penthouse. �Finally! My day has come.� Saber quickly left the apartment.

TO BE CONTINUED

COPYRIGHT RS 2002

This work of fiction is not affiliated with ABC Daytime and is not

endorsed by them. The images, characters, cities and settings are all

copyrighted by ABC Daytime. All material included in these pages is, in my

belief, for educational purposes, in accordance with the "Fair Use Act".