"PREVIOUSLY

I'm not saying they're not good lawyers. I'm saying they're not good lawyers for me right now. I want you."

Blair rubbed her hands together gleefully. "I know just which private detective I'm going to use too," Blair exclaimed. She kissed Dorian on the cheek. "I'm so happy you were here. Taking to you always helps." Blair grabbed her purse. "I'll let you know what happens as soon as I get this going."

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Blair walked down the hallway to an office she had not been to in many years. Her mind was flooded with memories, most of them not very good ones. They were memories of hurting Todd . . . lying to him . . . cheating him . . . giving him hope for something that didn't exist. Blair stopped just short of the door. She took a deep breath and pushed the past out of her mind. She had to concentrate on the here and now and on the future. Blair turned the knob and entered the office.

The person in the chair behind the desk looked up. "Right on time. I can't say that I wasn't shocked to hear from you after all these years, especially given our last meeting."

"I never said I didn't think you were good at what you did. I just didn't want you cheating Todd," Blair responded.

"Don't you mean cheating you? You already thought of Todd's money as your money at the time."

Blair glared at her.

"Okay, that's all in the past. Now why don't you pull up a seat and tell me what I can do for you."

"Ms. Vance, I . . ."

"Come on, Blair. I think we know each other well enough for you to call me Sam."

Blair rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Sam," she said with deliberate emphasis. "Todd is the reason I'm here. I need to find out if someone I believe is hurting him is up to something."

"I heard that you two were divorced long ago. Isn't Todd married to another woman now, an attorney?"

"It's not a real marriage," Blair said angrily and defensively. "It's a business arrangement."

"Really? Now that's not what I heard. The way I heard it is that Todd's wife is very devoted to him and that he proposed to her on bended knee, in public. I do believe this was after the so-called business arrangement."

"My goodness, Ms. Vance . . . oh excuse me . . . Sam . . . you seem to have been following Todd's life rather closely. Suspiciously closely if one were to think about it."

"Yes I have," Sam confirmed without a shred of an apology. "I like Todd. What I did was business. It was never personal. David Vickers paid me to do a job and I did it."

"And then you tried to cheat Todd out of part of his inheritance."

"No more than you did," Sam countered back.

Blair shot Sam a dirty look. "I hope I'm not on the clock for this trip down memory lane."

"No. First consultations are free . . . says so right on my business card." Sam's mood turned serious. "I was very sorry to hear that Todd became so ill. Is he doing any better?"

Tears sprang to Blair's eyes. "No . . . well, yes and no . . . in some ways, but in others . . . that's why I came to see you. I believe that Todd is being deliberately made ill, or at least made worse by the people around him . . . most of them anyway."

Sam looked at Blair with questions in her eyes. "Are you talking about Todd's sister . . . Viki Carpenter?"

Blair sighed. "No. I don't believe Viki is hurting Todd. She loves him with all her heart. I do believe that she is being naive. She is trusting people that want to hurt Todd."

"Mrs. Carpenter is involved with Sam Rappaport, correct?"

"Yes. They became close when Todd got sick."

"Do you believe that he's trying to hurt Todd?"

"No! God no! Sam is the only one who's on to them, the way I am. Sam would die for Todd."

"All right so it doesn't take Dick Tracy to figure out you think it's Todd's current wife who's trying to hurt him."

"Yes, it's T�a. It�s T�a and most likely Kevin and his family and Todd's doctor."

"Kevin Buchanan . . . Mrs. Carpenter's son?"

"Yes! With all your research into Todd's comings and goings, you must have discovered that Kevin and the Buchanans hate Todd. They have always hated Todd. Kevin can't stand the idea that Todd is part of his family and has taken away his mother's attention and love. Asa hates Todd for several reasons, not least of all is Todd taking him hostage last spring and causing him to have another heart attack."

"All right, so you think Todd's doctor is involved in this?" Blair was sounding a little paranoid to Sam.

"Todd's doctor, Susannah Hanen, is Nora Buchanan's sister. Is it beginning to make some sense to you now?" Blair asked sarcastically.

Sam looked up in thought for a few minutes. "You believe this Doctor Hanen is trying to exact revenge for what Todd did to her sister?"

"Yes. I also think she's doing it for the money. I think Asa or one of the Buchanans is paying her."

"So you think they are all keeping Todd mentally ill to get his money . . . and for revenge."

"Yes, especially T�a. Todd paid her five million to marry him so she could steal my little girl from me. It has always been about Todd's money for her."

"She's not the only one," Sam muttered under her breath.

"Look! If you're going to sit there and be an insulting bitch, I can go somewhere else."

"Calm down. Blair, as I said, I like Todd. He was decent to me before he found out what I was up to. If someone is hurting him, I'd like to help. The thing is, this sounds really far fetched. On top of that, you seem to have an ax to grind as far as Todd's current wife is concerned. I see you're still calling yourself Mrs. Manning."

Blair looked down at her lap.

"Hey, I don't care if you are doing this to get Todd back. I'll still dig up what I can for you. I would like to know if there really are people out there that are trying to hurt Todd. Now is this all about you wanting to get rid of Todd's wife and get him back or do you honestly believe that the people you mentioned are trying to hurt Todd? I mean making that accusation about a doctor is serious business."

Blair looked into Sam's eyes. "I believe it. You can't imagine what they do to Todd at that hospital. They drug him into a stupor. They tie him to his bed. They . . ."

"Blair," Sam interrupted. "It's a psychiatric hospital. From what I know of them they do medicate patients to calm them. They do use restraints when patients become dangerous to themselves or others. Now are you saying these are used punitively in Todd's case?"

Blair took another deep breath. She shook her head. "I don't know. I think so. I mean my mother was in this horrible state hospital and they used drugs and restraints on her just to keep her from being a bother to them. Those drugs almost destroyed my mother, physically and mentally."

"That was a long time ago. Things have changed for the most part. Llanview Hospital does not seem to be the kind of facility that would do that anyway. Is Todd dangerous to himself and others?"

Blair hung her head again. "Sometimes . . . no . . . don't you see! He may seem that way because of what they're doing to him. T�a is having an affair with Kevin Buchanan. I just know it. Viki doesn't believe it. She thinks her son hung the moon. She feels the same way about T�a. You should see them together. She treats Ms. Delgado like she's her long lost daughter. I'm not sure if you know it, Viki had the same thing Todd has, DID."

"Yes, I remember that." Sam shook her head. "You know, I never suspected anything like that with Todd, but when I look back, I can see some signs of it. Todd had the most radical mood swings, but not in a bipolar way. I've known people with bipolar disorder and that wasn't how Todd acted. He did act like different people at different times. I attributed it to his just getting out of prison and all the craziness he was going thorough when David Vickers and Tina Roberts were trying to keep him from finding out he was the Lord Heir."

Blair's lips trembled. "When I found out what was wrong with Todd, I realized I'd seen many signs of it, too. I realized I even met some of the child alters and that some of them played with our little girl, Starr." Blair swallowed away the lump in her throat. "I may have even met some of the adult alters, like Pete and Rodd." Blair's voice became wistful at the thought of Rodd. She kept telling herself that it was not Rodd, but Todd, who was able to have the more normal sexual moments with her. Yet even Blair wondered how Todd, who had been so terrified of being sexual with her . . . afraid of her and afraid of himself . . . that first time . . . and many times in between . . . only being with her when she was the aggressor . . . when she would literally lead him to it, could sometimes be quite the romantic lover.

"So you do believe that Todd has DID?" Sam asked.

Blair brushed away a tear and nodded.

"Then I don't get why you think all of these people, including a doctor, are doing this to Todd."

"I'm not saying Todd isn't mentally ill. He's had problems all his life, long before he ever met Viki, T�a or Doctor Hanen and her staff. I'm saying that once they got hold of him, they began to make him worse for their own purposes. What difference does this make to you anyway? I'm willing to pay you to find out what I want to know. Have you suddenly developed ethics and morals after all these years that you don't want to go after someone unless you know they've done something bad? If I wanted that I could have gone to Hank Gannon."

"You're right. I will go after anyone you pay me to go after and I will find out anything that you pay me to find out, if it exists. I'm asking because I wasn't lying about liking Todd. I do. He was honest and funny and good company. I hate knowing that he's so sick. When I heard, I couldn't believe it. I thought Todd could overcome anything."

"He still can, but not when those he thinks love him are taking advantage of his vulnerable state. You should see T�a prancing around Todd's unit acting like the be all and end all in Todd's life all the while she's screwing Kevin and laughing at Todd. No one believes me except Sam Rappaport, and even he has his doubts."

"Playing the devil's advocate here, could it be that they think you're saying it because you're jealous of T�a and you hate her for helping Todd get custody of your daughter?"

"Jealous! I've never been jealous of any woman in my life!"

"Oh that's right," Sam emphasized the word right. "No woman could ever be as beautiful as you or be as fascinating and fun to be with as you or as good in bed as you. It would be impossible for Todd to really love someone else." Sam wondered if Blair knew, in her heart, that she had been jealous of all other women all her life and always felt in competition with them, or if she was truly that blind to herself.

"Todd and I had something special," Blair claimed.

"From what I heard, you told anyone who would listen that you and Max Holden had something special."

"What the fuck have you been doing! Spying on Todd and me all these years!"

"Llanview is a small town. You and Todd have not led quiet lives. It wasn't difficult to keep up with you."

"Max Holden is an asshole. I'm not involved in any part of his life anymore. This is about saving Todd from God knows what at that hospital. I saved my mother. I can save Todd." Blair hated that Max continued to be thrown in her face.

"And what are your plans for him after you save him?"

"What?"

"I mean once Todd is out of the hospital, where do you plan on taking him, to another hospital?"

"No. I want him home with . . . well, with Starr . . . Todd and Starr need each other . . . and with me. I'll hire nurses and a doctor to be with him at first."

"And of course you'll deny his current wife access to him while he's with you."

"She's no good for him. Todd couldn't possibly love her the way he loved me."

Sam smiled. Blair's ego was something to behold. Sam suspected Blair would feel this way about any woman involved with any man she'd ever been with. "Okay, so what is it you want me to find out? You want me to get proof that this Ms. Delgado is doing the nasty on the side with the Buchanan guy?"

"No, at least not yet. I already have someone watching T�a when she's not with Todd, which is hardly ever anymore!" Blair grit her teeth and added in frustration. "What I need you to do is more difficult and it has to be done carefully. If I'm wrong, and I don't think I am, I don't want anyone to find out I did this. I need you to get proof that Doctor Susannah Hanen is on the take. I need you to see if there is a money trail that leads from one of the Buchanans to the good doctor. I know you won't mind bending a few rules and laws if you have to."

Sam thought for a few moments. "I can do that. It may take a couple of weeks, but I can do that."

Blair and Sam discussed the financial details.

"I'll be looking forward to hearing from you," Blair held out a check for the retainer.

After Blair left, Sam stood there for a few moments with the check in her hand. "Well, Todd, if there is someone out there trying to hurt you, they won't be for long."

***************

"You make sure to tell them not to let the vegetables get too hot. They need to test it on the inside of their wrist first," Carlotta cautioned T�a as she handed her a bag containing several kinds of homemade baby foods.

T�a laughed. "Carlotta, they're medical people. I don't think they'd let the baby burn his mouth."

"Ah, people use the microwave. Sometimes they don't realize how hot the center of the food is. Mrs. Ramez did that with strained carrots when her Juan was only seven months old. He would never eat carrots again after that."

T�a hugged Carlotta. "I love that you care so much."

"You said he's like a baby. Who could not care about a baby?"

T�a smiled. "I think you've grown to care a little bit about Todd, too."

Carlotta sat down on the opposite side of the booth. "He's a good man, mija. Underneath all the pain and anger he carries around, he's a good man. I remember how he was when you were hurt. I saw how much he loves you. Del and Abulea saw it, too. Your Todd wants what's best for you, even if it is not what's best for him."

T�a�s expression turned to one of sadness. "That's part of the problem. I think Todd is able to admit to himself that he loves me and needs me. I think he's finally beginning to believe I love him and that I will not leave him, no matter how much he pushes."

"Then what is the problem? I don't understand," Carlotta stated.

"Todd is afraid for me. He trusts himself even less than he trusts the rest of us. He believes he'll hurt me if he's near me. He sees I won't be pushed away, so he's determined to get himself taken away. There is a part of Todd that is actually happy that his mother was able to get away from his father. He wanted some happiness and peace for her, even though whatever peace and happiness, if any, she managed to find was at his expense. That's the way Todd is. When he loves someone, truly loves someone, he wants to keep them safe from everything bad in this world. Todd would love to keep Starr safe in a fortress somewhere and he'd like to do the same with me. For some reason, despite knowing I'm capable of some pretty awful and underhanded moves myself, Todd has put me in the same league as Starr. He wants us to be better than him. He doesn't want the things that hurt him or the things he's done or thinks he's done to touch us. So many times, I heard Todd say he doesn't want Starr to become like him or like Blair. He doesn't ever want her to know the kind of feelings that drove him to becoming so full of rage and fear and caused her mother to become the way she is. He wants her to be able to trust. He doesn't ever want her to feel abandoned or unloved or dirty. He doesn't want her to feel like a loser or feel the need to hurt people. Todd is always praising Starr and making her feel good about herself."

"But surely, mija, Todd must understand that you are a grown woman and whatever baggage you have, you came into the relationship with?"

"He does. In my case it's fear for my safety and . . ." T�a would not share the private details of Todd's disclosures, not even with Carlotta. "Todd's dad made him do some terrible things when he was just a little boy. Todd is afraid he'll do them again, now that he remembers them. He also grew up seeing his dad do horrible things to his mother. Todd is terrified that this is what it will be like if we are together. And he is afraid of himself for what he did to Marty Saybrooke."

"Todd was married to Blair. Why is he so much more afraid with you?"

T�a thought for a few minutes.

Carlotta waited patiently for a response.

"I think, I know." It was clear from T�a's expression and tone that she was figuring this out for herself as well as for Carlotta. "Todd is not afraid of hurting Blair because he sees himself in her. He sees much of what he hates in himself in Blair. He sees what he thinks he is in Blair, and he sees what he wants to be in Starr and in me. He perceives Blair as already damaged. In the same way he thinks it's too late for him, he also thinks it's too late for her. In his mind that makes Blair immune to his evilness and poison, as he calls it."

T�a's mind raced as she started figuring out more and more. "Todd was also used to being treated the way Blair treated him. It was comfortable for him in the sense that it was a known. Blair would hurt Todd and then find a way to make him believe it was his fault and make him crawl to her for love and affection. This was familiar to Todd. He knew how to respond to this. It's a normal marriage built on trust and love instead of lies and revenge and causing deliberate pain that Todd hasn't got a clue how to handle. He's terrified that all he can do are terrible things to me. He's terrified that he won't be able to control himself because in the past his rage has made him hurt people. People that he realizes didn't deserve to be hurt. Todd thinks he deserved to be hurt. He places Blair in the same category as he places himself. The fear he has with Starr and Viki and me, and possibly even Sam and Doctor Hanen and some of the staff is nonexistent with Blair. He can touch her and not have to worry about hurting her because in his mind, she's already hurt."

"Mija. Are you all right?" Carlotta noticed the expression on T�a's face.

"Yes! Oh yes. Madre de Dios, I think that is it. I really do. Even though, Todd has been intimate with me in more important ways, I was always so hurt that Todd was able to have sex with Blair and not with me. From what we understand now, Rodd could make love to her but Todd . . . Todd was still able to have sex with her because Blair was always the aggressor."

T�a's thoughts were jumping around as, finally, it hit her. "Intellectually, I think I've understood this for a very long time. Doctor Hanen and Viki have been trying to explain this to me, in one way or another, for months now. In his own way, Todd has, too. I heard them and I comprehended what they said, but I never felt it in my heart before. I never understood that I have nothing to feel hurt about. Todd doesn't trust himself around something, like our marriage that isn't already damaged and spoiled. Todd went into our marriage thinking it would stay a business relationship. I always thought he panicked and pushed me away because I wanted more. Now I see that it was when he wanted more that he became frightened. He wanted a real marriage and it terrified him. He didn't think he could ever be good enough for that or even know how to be in a relationship that wasn't based partly on him being the good little boy, being mistreated by someone he loves, and partly on him being his father and doing the mistreating. Todd sees no in-between in relationships. You're either the victim or the bully. Todd learned how to be both, and he doesn't want to be either. He has told me so many times, in one way or the other that he sees the person he wants to be when he looks into my eyes. He knows that I believe he can be that person. There are times, fleeting moments of time, when he believes it, too. Then they pass and everything his father told him makes him feel foolish for ever believing he could be what he dreams to be."

Carlotta brushed away a tear. "I think when Todd is with you, those dreams seem almost like he can touch them. Yes, the fear that they will never happen comes back over and over again. It is so much safer to stop dreaming than to feel like a fool for dreaming of something you believe will never come true and feeling the pain of dreams never realized. That is where you come in, mija. You stay by Todd's side no matter how hard he tries to get you to leave. You bring those dreams closer to him and you help him reach for them, because it seems to me that Todd has already done the same for you. I think even after everything you�ve both been through and as sick as he is, Todd is the answer to everything you've ever dreamed of."

T�a moved over to Carlotta's side of the booth. She hugged her tightly. "You do understand. Yes, Todd has made my dreams come true. He thinks that he has ruined my life. He can't believe that he has made it worth living, not yet. He will. I swear I will find a way to make him understand that he will not become his father. And, I will not become his mother or mine. I will not hide from his pain behind a bottle of booze or anything else, and then walk out on him when even that isn't enough to keep me from seeing how much he's hurting. I'll help him learn that it's safe to dream of good things. I'll help him understand that he doesn't have to sabotage those dreams in order to be in control of the wrecking ball. I'll help him understand there doesn't have to be a wrecking ball at all."

Carlotta reached up and gently squeezed T�a's chin. "You can do all that, mija. I see it in your eyes. I think your Todd has finally found someone who is stronger than everything his father and his mother and everyone else that's ever hurt him put together did to him. You hate losing. You will not lose the man you love to what his parents did to him or to mental or physical illness or to anything or anyone else. I'm not a betting woman, but I would wager this diner and everything else I own on that."

T�a hugged Carlotta one more time and left Angel Square to go back to the hospital.

*************

Other than a couple of quick trips to the bathroom, Sam did not leave the baby's side for the entire night. When morning came, Sam fed him some cereal and gave him a bottle for breakfast. Sam would not allow the baby out of his sight. He stood outside the bathroom door when Frank and Jeff gave him his morning bath. Now that the baby was able to hold himself in a sitting position for longer periods of time, with support, a tub bath became an option. Sam wasn't the only one smiling when the baby splashed the water by moving his arms up and down, kicking his legs in delight, laughing and squealing in joy as they held him in the comfortably warm water. Frank and Jeff enjoyed every moment spent with this delightful child and didn't mind ending up almost as wet as he was. The baby enjoyed having his hair washed, too. He giggled and laughed when they gently rinsed the shampoo and soap off him with the spray attachment.

The baby had been crawling around the unit for a while. He finally sat on the floor near the coffee table, in the lounge area nearest to Todd's room. He was there when Viki arrived. Sam was sitting on a chair near him. Frank was a couple of chairs away. The baby was happily tearing pages out of a magazine Frank had handed him. He would laugh and squeal in glee as he held each torn page up to show Sam.

Viki was glad she'd gone home to Llanfair to sleep last night. Kevin was upset when he arrived home. He'd had an argument with Rachel over her mother's part in Todd's dissociation. While Rachel wasn't completely sure her mother didn't still harbor a desire to see Todd punished for what he did to her and her friends, it was one thing for her to speak negatively about her mother and another to hear Kevin do it. Nasty, angry words were exchanged and Rachel walked off and left Kevin standing in line for a movie. Viki was there when Kevin needed someone to talk to. She was grateful for that, even if she was sad that Kevin was left angry and upset when they finally called it a night and each went to his and her own room for some sleep.

"How is our boy doing this morning?" Viki asked first thing.

"He had a good breakfast and he loved his bath time," Sam answered.

Viki smiled. "Honey, were you able to get some sleep?"

"I got enough sleep." The circles under Sam's eyes belied his statement.

"Would you like me to get you some breakfast?" Viki assumed Sam had not eaten.

"No. Are you going to be around for a while?"

"Of course I am. Honey, you know I only left last night because you seemed to want to have some time alone with the baby."

"Yeah . . . okay. I'm going out. If anyone comes to visit the baby, I want you to stay during the visit."

Viki knew better than to try to reason with Sam. "I will." She bent down and stroked the baby's silky, shiny, freshly washed hair. "I'm looking forward to spending some time with him."

Sam took Viki's hands in his. "I mean it. Promise me that for whatever time I'm gone, you won't leave the baby or any of the alters or Todd alone, should they come out."

"Sweetheart, I do mean it. It sounds like you plan to be gone for a while. Will you tell me where you're going?" Viki's stomach was doing flip-flops. There was something about Sam's tone and demeanor that frightened her, for him.

"Just out. I need some air and some time to think."

Sam kissed Viki on the mouth. His kiss was hard. There was urgency to it. It made Viki feel like she'd never see him again. She wanted to go with him. She knew he'd never agree to that, not only because she was the only one he trusted to stay with Todd, but also because it was obvious that whatever he wanted to do, he wanted to do it alone.

After Sam left the unit, Viki sat in the chair he'd been sitting in. She smiled weakly at Frank.

He could tell how worried she was. He gave her a reassuring smile back. It let her know that he knew how she felt and that he would be there for her if she needed him.

The baby cooed loudly and joyously. He laughed and held up a page he'd just torn out. He was sharing his fun with Viki now.

Viki knelt down to him. She rubbed her nose against his. "Whose boy is this? Whose good boy is this? Whose sweet angel is this?"

The baby laughed loudly. He placed his fingers on Viki's lips and once again squealed happily.

Viki felt her head beginning to throb again. She'd been having one headache after another since yesterday. She didn't make the connection that her headaches seemed to be triggered by being around the baby. Viki kissed the top of his head. "My angel," she said softly. "I hope your daddy's going to be all right."

************

Bo sat on the visitor's side of the glass partition.

Zack Rosen's eyes filled with surprise when he came to the visitor's room and saw Bo waiting for him.

"Commissioner Buchanan. To what do I owe this honor? I don't suppose you're here with a pardon from the governor."

"Sorry, Zack. You'd 've been out of here by now if it weren't for that nasty little business you got into. I thought you'd have been too smart to get mixed up with that bunch selling drugs to other prisoners."

"Are you saying the governor is holding that one little incident against me," Zack quipped, with a cross between a smile and a sneer on his face.

"I didn't come here today to talk about your future. I came to talk about your past."

"Do you mean my previous life as a police commissioner?" Zack laughed at his own joke.

"No. I mean about your first couple of years here at Statesville."

"Damn and I forgot to bring my scrapbook."

Bo could not stand Zack. He could tell that to this day he did not regret what he did to Marty. He still only regretted getting caught. Prison had hardened Zack. He was angry, bitter and resentful. Bo didn't know if Zack would help him even if he could.

"So tell me, Commissioner, how is everyone back in dear old Llanview? How's Nora?"

"I don't have time for small talk, Rosen. I need to ask you some questions."

"Didn't you learn any manners from that rich upbringing of yours? I see you don't bring a gift when you come to visit . . . not even a cake . . . nevertheless one with a file in it. The least you can do is fill me in on my old friends. So how's my old friend Todd? Is his still crazy and in the nut house? Oh! Excuse me. That is not 'P.C.' He's still mentally ill and residing on a psychiatric unit? That lady shrink of his visited me a few months ago. Not a bad looker. Todd always was a lucky bastard."

Bo wanted to smash Zack's face against the wall. He was happy that there was glass between them. He decided to get right to it. "Do you remember a yard guard named Garret that was here when you first got here?"

Zack's cocky demeanor changed immediately. Bo's question had just wiped the sneer off his face. Bo didn't need to hear Zack say it. He knew that Zack knew who, and most likely what, Garret was.

"I asked you a question, Rosen."

"Why do you want to know about Garret after all this time? He's not at Statesville anymore."

"I know. Did you have any problems with him when he was here?"

"I was a model prisoner, didn't they tell you that?" Zack tried to sound cocky again, but this time he came across sounding frightened.

"I want you to tell me what you know about Garret and what he did to prisoners while he was here," Bo stated.

"Sorry. I minded my own business. It's more fun around here when you do that."

"Do you know anything about Garret abusing prisoners?"

Zack took a deep breath. He collected himself. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to get himself hurt or worse, but he also wondered if he could use this to his advantage. Now that he was over his initial shock of being asked about Garret, his wheels were turning once again.

"So tell me Commissioner, what's in this for me?"

Bo smiled and shook his head. Same old Zack, he thought to himself. "I don't know. It depends what you tell me."

"Uh-uh, Commish. My dad is a good businessman. He taught me to get it in writing, first!"

"Sorry, Rosen. I'm not the warden or the DA or the governor. I can't make you any promises. So I guess that's it." Bo got up to leave.

"Wait! Let's discuss this a little more." Zack reacted as Bo hoped he would.

Bo sat down again. "Look, I know you've been here a long time and you could use a break. As I said, I can't make you any promises, but I can talk to the people, who can, on your behalf. That is if you are of some kind of value to us . . . mmmm . . . maybe a witness or somethin' like that."

"Garret still has friends that work here. Getting time cut off my sentence isn't gonna help me if they come after me."

"We might be able to work out some kind of deal to get you transferred."

"To a white collar prison?" Zack asked hopefully.

"Last time I checked, rape and drug dealing weren't white collar crimes. There are other state correctional institutions where you might find life a little easier than here at Statesville. Who knows? We won't know until we hear what you have to tell us about Garret?"

"This is about Todd, isn't it . . . about what Garret did to Todd?" Zack whispered.

"I'm asking the questions," Bo pointed out firmly.

Zack looked Bo in the eye and then looked around on his side of the visitor's room. "Not here. You take me some place private and I might have a thing or two to tell you."

Bo smiled. "I'll go see about getting us a private interview room."

Zack watched Bo walk away. "Shit man, I hope I'm not gonna regret this," Zack mumbled to himself.

*********

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PART 2

Zack sat opposite Bo. He hated being in cuffs and leg chains, but it was better being here, in the quiet, private interview room, with no glass between them.

"Okay, Rosen, you nice and comfortable?" Bo asked with feigned sweetness.

"It's not exactly The Rittenhouse Hotel, but it'll do."

"Good," Bo said softly. He reached over and grabbed Zack by the front of his shirt. "Now cut the shit, Rosen, and tell me what you know about Garret or I'm out'a here and you can rot the rest of your stinkin� life away in your cell."

When Bo let go, Zack fell against the back of his chair. "What do you want me to tell you? I think you already know a lot or you wouldn't be here, asking me. Did Todd tell you about Garret?"

"I'm asking the questions," Bo said angrily.

Zack took a deep but shaky breath. "Garret was a perverted son of a bitch. I think you already know that."

"Go ahead," Bo ordered.

"He went after certain prisoners and left other ones alone. I guess Todd appealed to him more than I did."

"You knew he went after Todd?"

"Everyone knew who Garret's boys were. He would usually go after the ones like Todd . . . pretty to look at . . . acting tough . . . but real scared on the inside. Garret seemed to have radar and he'd zoom in on those prisoners."

"What'd he do to the prisoners who became 'his boys'?"

"What'd ya think?" Zack's sneer was mixed with the look of disgust on his face.

"You tell me," Bo stated.

"There were lots of rumors. No one knows for sure, except Garret's boys. They all knew better than to talk about it."

"Tell me what the rumors were," Bo commanded.

"Like I said, Garret liked the pretty ones . . . the young ones . . . he would check all of us out in the exercise yard. Then he'd make his choice. The ones he'd pick would be gone for a few hours, sometimes overnight. When they came back, they could hardly walk. Sometimes you could see the bruises . . . most of the time they were where nobody could see them . . . at least nobody straight . . . the prison buzz had it that Garret was infamous for liking to use that nightstick of his . . . used to stand in the yard, hitting it against the palm of his hand . . . bet he could hardly wait to use it the way he really wanted to."

Bo felt sick to his stomach. "So this was common knowledge around the prison?"

"A lot of us knew, mostly those who knew one of Garret's boys."

"And you knew one of Garret's boys, Todd?"

"Don't look at me like that. Todd didn't want me to tell. You think he wanted everyone to know what Garret did to him? You think he wanted to get himself killed?" Zack laughed. "Well, I guess most of the time Todd wouldn't have minded too much if someone did kill him. He sure acted like he wanted to die plenty of times. It wouldn't have done any good anyway. Garret and his friends were the ones with the badge."

"Did Todd ever talk about what happened to him?"

Zack shook his head. "Well, wait, there were a couple of times when Todd was acting real tough and he would swear under his breath that he was going to kill Garret. He once even said he almost killed his old man, but someone stopped him. I thought Todd was just bullshitting me, the way he did about things."

"Do you know anything that can prove that Garret or any of the other guards were abusing Todd and some of the other young male prisoners?"

"No, man, I told you. None of them came right out and said anything."

"Did you see any marks on Todd in the shower?"

"Todd would always wait to be one of the last ones on line for the showers. He used to get teased about being shy that way." Zack thought for few moments. "There was one time when I noticed blood on the sheet on Todd's bunk." Zack looked a little embarrassed. He looked down. "I asked him if he was all right and he pinned me against the wall and told me to mind my own fucking business."

"Do you think the warden or other prison officials here at the time knew about this happening?" Bo inquired.

Zack shrugged. "When the new warden came in, suddenly Garret and his guard buddies were out'a here . . . gone . . . like magic . . . what do you think? I guess it was Todd's bad luck to be here at the wrong time. Then again, it looks like Lady Luck made it up to him, didn't she?"

Bo's hands clenched into fists. "Is there anything else you can remember?"

Zack shook his head. "It wasn't like this was in the prison newspaper. Do I get a transfer for helping you?"

"You haven't told me anything that could help me yet," Bo played it tough with Zack.

"What do you want from me, man? I told you everything I know."

"Then our business is concluded," Bo started to leave again.

"Hold it!" Zack shook his head. "You're gonna end up getting me killed."

"Life's a gamble, Zack. I'd think you'd have learned that by now."

Zack took a deep breath and thought for a minute. "I can give you some names . . . names of some more of Garret's boys. Not the ones still here. I can give up some that are on the outside."

"That might be helpful," Bo said casually. He didn't let Zack see that this was exactly what he'd been hoping for.

"So do I get my transfer?"

"Don't know what you'll get, Zack. I said if you helped me, I'd talk to those who might be able to help you outta here or make things a little easier for you, and now I will. How they do it is up to them."

"Maybe you can get me an easy gig, like Todd. I wouldn't mind being in his place right now."

Bo looked daggers at Zack. "I wouldn't mind you being in Todd's place right now either." Bo started to call for them to take Zack back to his cell. Before he did, he turned back and asked, "Is anything like that happening now, to you or to any of the other guys?"

"No," Zack answered straightforwardly. "There's the usual stuff, you know, prisoners against prisoners and guards turning the other way. You're never gonna be able to stop that, man. It's like it's built into the system. When we're in here everyone stops looking at us like human beings. No one really cares what happens to us. But things happening like what was happening with Garret . . . no . . . not that I've heard."

"Guard!" Bo called out.

As Bo was walking out the door, Zack yelled out. "Don't you forget about me, Bo. You get me that transfer."

***********

Bo headed straight for the warden's office. He wanted to know where Garret was now and how much the warden knew. He would also talk to him about Zack. To Bo, a promise was a promise; even if he hated the person he made the promise to.

Bo was sitting at the warden's desk. His patience was running out. The man had been on the phone for nearly fifteen minutes while Bo was left to sit there twiddling his thumbs.

Finally, the warden hung up and gave Bo his attention.

The warden's secretary was getting ready to leave for lunch when a man walked into the outer office.

When he explained he needed to see the warden, now, the secretary told him there was already someone with the warden and he'd have to wait. He then told him he was leaving for lunch and he'd have to wait outside.

The man got up wearily. The secretary looked him over. "Aren't you Sam Rappaport?"

"Yes," Sam answered.

"I saw your picture in People Magazine a few years back. You were handling that big case . . . that celebrity who was accused of murdering his girlfriend . . . turned out his brother did it."

That seemed like a lifetime ago to Sam.

"I'm not supposed to let anyone wait out here when I'm not in the office, but I don't think the boss would mind the famous Sam Rappaport waiting out here."

Sam sat down as if his legs could hardly hold him up anymore.

"I'll be back in about an hour. Maybe you can tell me about some of your other famous cases when I come back."

Sam tried his best to smile. "Maybe," he managed to say.

Once the secretary left and it was quiet, Sam was able to hear two male voices coming from the warden's office. He immediately recognized one of them as Bo's. Sam knew Bo had to be there to find out more about Garret. Sam stood up and went to listen at the door.

When Bo left the warden's office, the outer office was empty. Bo headed back to the hospital to tell Todd's family what he'd learned.

**********

Sam sat quietly at the bar. He didn't want to draw attention to himself. He nursed the Scotch he'd ordered. He wanted his head to be as clear as possible. When the stools near him emptied, Sam called the bartender over. He hoped he didn't recognize him the way the secretary at Statesville had. It had taken Sam almost two hours to drive to the Frackville, another of Pennsylvania's maximum-security state correctional institutions. He found out what he needed to know when he heard Bo and the warden at Statesville talking about what Zack said and Garret's current position.

Sam assumed correctly that no one at Frackville would give out personal information about one of the guards, especially one that instilled fear in co-workers as well as prisoners. So, he drove around the area until he found the nearest bar. Sam also assumed correctly that many of the prison's employees frequented this convenient watering hole.

"Get you another one?" the bartender asked Sam, when he was summoned over.

"Yeah, sure, why not," Sam tried to sound casual. "Don't look like my friend is here yet. Then again, I forgot my glasses. Maybe you know the guy I'm looking for. His name is Luke Garret. He�s a guard at the prison."

"Yeah, I know Luke . . . comes in here all the time . . . usually after midnight."

"That's right. He's been working the night shift since he came here," Sam guessed.

The bartender eyed Sam suspiciously. "You said you're a friend of his? You don't look like anyone I've ever seen him pal around with."

Sam tried to think fast. The mission he was on enabled him to focus more than he'd been able to in weeks. "We don't really pal around together. Actually, he did a little job for me." Sam winked at the bartender. "A private little job . . . you know . . . the kind Luke is really good at."

The bartender smiled knowingly.

"I owe him some money, a good amount. I'll bet he could buy a year's worth of drinks here for what I owe him and have plenty left over." Sam threw in this incentive.

The bartender looked at his watch. "You got a looooong wait before Luke comes in."

"You sure he'll be in tonight?" Sam asked.

"Pretty sure. He comes in here most every night, sometimes with some of his guard buddies, sometimes alone. He's usually here for about an hour. Some nights he goes back to the prison. I guess there must be an all night card game there or something."

"Will you be here when he comes in?" Sam asked.

"I own the joint. I'm always here," the bartender said with a smile. "Name's Donny."

"Donny, do me a favor." Sam took two fifties out of his pocket and handed them to him.

Donny looked at the money in his hand. "For a tip like that, you bet, buddy."

"I'll be back tonight. When I come in, point Luke out to me. I don't want to have to travel all the way back just to get my glasses."

"No problem. He usually sits at a table in the back room. He doesn�t like to socialize too much, except with those few friends of his."

Sam turned and looked toward the back room. That'll work out, Sam thought to himself.

*************

The hours passed slowly, not only for Sam, but also for Viki. She was frantic when hour after hour passed and Sam never returned. Bo told her everything he learned about Garret. He stayed and played with the baby for a while and then returned to his office. He told Viki to call him if Sam didn't return soon and he'd go out looking for him. Viki called Blair.

Blair was honestly able to say that she had not seen Sam at all. Blair became worried as well. She knew that without Sam's help, her chances of ever getting Todd home to her were slim. Blair was also worried that Viki would think to call her in the first place. She hoped Sam, in his current state, didn't slip and tell Viki everything they'd discussed.

When Bo came back, after hours of looking for Sam, and told Viki he turned up nothing, she couldn�t contain her panic anymore. Nora, T�a, and Kevin were with Viki, and Susannah had stayed at the hospital as well. Viki burst into tears and admitted her fear that Sam had gone somewhere to kill himself. She told them that he kissed her goodbye like he would never see her again.

***********

Sam had spent the day walking around and catching catnaps in his car. He went back to the bar at twelve fifteen. There weren't too many customers. Sam headed straight for the bar.

"He's in the backroom," Donny said before Sam even had a chance to ask.

"Is anyone back there with him?" Sam inquired.

"Nope, has the place all to himself tonight."

"Thanks," Sam said with as best a smile as he could manage. "Let me have a Heineken. Leave it in the bottle."

Garret didn't even look up when Sam came into the room. Sam took a seat at a table that faced Garret's side. He took a couple of sips of the beer. Sam studied the man that did this to his child. Garret was tall. He wasn't husky, but he was powerfully built. He had a long face and sandy hair. Sam, temporarily beyond reason, had planned on moving quickly and slitting Garret�s throat with broken glass that he would get from smashing the beer bottle. Now, looking at the man, visions of Peter Manning appeared before Sam's eyes. Sam knew in an instant that Todd, Razor, Pete, and any others that had been out at Statesville must have been terrified by the resemblance. Sam's plan went out the window when he couldn't control his fury any longer.

Garret didn't know what hit him when Sam pounced on him, sending them both to the floor. "YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!" Sam pounded Garret's head against the floor. "YOU THOUGHT YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT DIDN'T YOU! YOU'RE NOT DEALING WITH SOME SCARED YOUNG KID NOW! YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR NIGHTSTICK WITH YOU NOW, DO YOU!"

Garret's eyes widened with fear. Sam was shorter and thinner than he was. Nonetheless, Garret could feel the immense power that the combined hatred Sam felt for him and for Peter Manning had given him. Sam had physical strength he'd never had before. Garret was also terrified because he knew exactly what Sam was talking about. "Get off of me, you motherfucker! Who the fuck are you!"

"YOU HURT MY KID! YOU HURT A LOT OF KIDS. I HEAR YOU LIKE THEM YOUNG! YOU LIKE THEM SCARED! YOU LIKE TO MAKE THEM STRIP IN FRONT OF YOU. YOU LIKE TO MAKE THEM BLEED!" Sam's eyes were dazed. At the same time, they were wild with fury. "YOU SADISTIC PIECE OF SHIT! YOU MADE HIM GROW UP THINKING HE WAS EVIL AND A LOSER! YOU HURT HIM IN WAYS THAT NO ONE COULD IMAGINE. YOU MADE HIM LOSE THE ONE PERSON HE HAD WHO LOVED HIM. YOU THINK YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT, DON'T YOU, YOU GODDAMN FUCKING BASTARD! I LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT THEN. I WON'T EVER LET YOU HURT TODD AGAIN!"

As Sam began to confuse Garret with Peter, the sadistic guard became truly terrified. He knew he was dealing with someone who meant to kill him. "I don't know what you're talking about, you crazy son of bitch. Get the fuck off me." Garret tried to push Sam away again, with no success.

"YOU'LL NEVER HURT TODD AGAIN! YOU'LL NEVER USE YOUR SICK AND PERVERTED MIND OR DISGUSTING BODY TO EVER HURT THAT BOY AGAIN. YOU DAMAGED HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. HIS SUFFERING NEVER ENDS, YOU FUCKING PRICK BASTARD! I LET YOU! I LET YOU! NO MORE! YOU'LL NEVER HURT MY BOY AGAIN! NEVER! NEVER! I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU FOR HIM THAT NIGHT!"

Garret tried with all his might to push Sam off of him, but Sam's hands tightened around his neck. Garret's eyes bulged out. He reached up and tried to claw at Sam's eyes and face. He tried to push Sam's head back by the chin.

The adrenaline that was pumping though Sam's bloodstream gave him almost inhuman strength. By the time Donny and some other patrons rushed to the backroom, Garret's face was a sick maroon going to gray color. Donny had called the police the second he heard the ruckus in the backroom. It took Donny and four other men to pull Sam off of Garret. Garret gasped for breath. Sam's handprints were visible around his neck. Garret vomited. He was moaning and barely conscious. They had to keep Sam pinned to the floor to keep him from jumping on Garret and finishing what he started. Sam continued screaming at Garret and Peter the whole time.

***********

Connie walked over to the lounge. With the baby sound asleep, Viki, T�a, Nora, Bo, Susannah, and Kevin were sitting in the lounge area near Susannah's office. They didn't want to chance their occasional conversation waking him. Most of the time Viki sat silently and the rest followed her lead. They spoke when Viki wanted to. She was scared to death. Sam had been gone for more than seventeen hours.

Connie knelt down beside Viki. "Sam is on the phone."

"Oh my God!" Viki gasped. "Is he all right? Where is he?"

"I don't know," Connie admitted softly. "He insists on talking only to you. Viki," she added gently, "he sounds like he's been crying."

************

When Viki, Bo and Nora got to Frackville, they found Sam sitting in a jail cell, with his head in his hands, staring into his lap.

Bo talked to their chief over the phone, on the way there. He got them to keep Sam in his own cell and told them he had to be watched because there was a chance he was suicidal. The jail officials certainly didn't want a famous attorney killing himself on their watch, so they kept a close eye on Sam.

Viki alone went in to see him. Nora and Bo went to work on getting him out on bail. They knew it was too late and Sam would most likely not get out until later that morning, but still they tried. Another reason they didn't go in with Viki was their fear of setting Sam off. They had been told about Sam's emotional state. They thought it best that Viki see him first and then tell him that they were there.

T�a and Kevin wanted to go with Viki. She insisted that they stay put. Viki knew that while Sam didn't seem to trust T�a completely any more, she was the only one who could stay with the baby, other than herself, who wouldn't cause Sam to freak out even more. Susannah knew better than to show up. She realized that Sam saw her as the enemy.

They allowed Viki into the cell and locked the door behind her. Now that someone was with Sam, the guard walked away and gave them some privacy. He secretly didn't blame Sam for what he had done. He knew he'd have done the same thing, if someone had done that to his kid.

Sam looked up with tears in his eyes.

Viki rushed to him and took him in her arms. "It's going to be all right. Honey, I swear to you. It'll be all right."

"It'll never be all right. Oh Viki, I tried. I'm sorry. I failed both you and Todd again."

"Sweetie, what are you talking about? You didn't fail us, not in any way."

"They told me he's still alive. In fact, they said I was lucky because he's going to be fine."

"Who?" Viki was confused.

Sam stared off into space. "He should be dead."

Viki's eyes widened with fear for Sam. "Are you saying you're sorry that you didn't kill Garret?"

"I should have killed him when I first met Todd."

Viki's heart pounded. She feared that Sam was no longer in reality at all. Viki sat next to Sam. She took his hands in hers. "Honey, Garret wasn't around when Todd was a little boy. You know that."

Sam looked even more confused for a moment. Then he shook his head, as if to clear it. Sam looked into Viki's eyes. Tears escaped and slid down his cheeks. "Viki, you should have seen him. He looked something like Peter Manning. Can you imagine how terrified Todd was when he took him off and abused him? Can you imagine how terrified Pete and Razor must have been despite their tough act? My God! Do you blame me? How can a man like that be allowed to walk around and draw breath?"

Even though Sam's words still frightened Viki, he seemed more together and in the present. "I don't blame you. Oh darling, I don't blame you at all, but you know Todd would not want this. He would not want you to go to jail. My God, Sam, do you know what it would do to Todd if he thought you went to prison because of this? We need to thank God that Garret, as evil as he is, is going to be all right. Honey, what were you thinking?"

"I don't think Todd would even notice if I wasn't there anymore."

"How can you say that? You know how upset he became a few weeks ago when you weren't around after he surfaced. Sam. Todd loves you with all his heart. All he wants is for you to love him and be proud of him."

"Maybe at one time . . . I . . . I blew it, Viki. He knows what's happening to him is my fault."

"Todd loves you. Sam, he loves you and he needs you. All of them do. How do you think Tom would feel if I had to tell him his beloved Coach was not going to be around for a long time? How do you think Timmy would feel? What about the baby? He already sees you as his daddy. You're the only one who can sometimes reason with Pete. Andy adores you. We promised him he would live with us one day. Can you imagine how much more depressed he'd be if he knew that wasn't going to happen? Sam. You know Todd. You know that he'd be destroyed if you were in prison or if anything happened to you. It would be one more abandonment by someone he loves and trusts, as much as he's able to trust anyone."

Viki could see Sam was hearing her. It seemed she had gotten though to him, a little.

"Viki, I want to protect Todd. I want to protect all of them. They never had that. There was never anyone there to protect them . . . not from Peter . . . not from Garret. I can't stay here. I know you love Todd. I know you love all of them. I don't think you can protect them by yourself. You have to get me out of here."

"Honey, I will. Bo and Nora . . . "

"They're the ones Todd needs protecting from!" Sam cut Viki off without giving her a chance to tell him they were there trying to help him.

Viki tried to reason with Sam and calm his fears, before she told him. "Oh, sweetheart, neither Nora nor Bo wants to hurt Todd. Nora feels very guilty. She feels horrible over what happened. It isn't her fault. You know that. How many times has Todd dissociated when he was with us? Razor coming out was a good thing. He wanted us to know what happened to him. He wanted Nora to know. I know how frightened you are that Todd won't come back again. I am, too." Viki took Sam's hand and held it close to her heart. "In here, I know Todd will come back. He needs some time away. He needs to be with Goodone. Goodone may have put him to sleep for a while. The baby needs our love right now. He adores you. He knows you're his daddy in every way that counts. Honey, don't you see? If the baby knows it, Todd does, too. Somewhere deep inside of Todd, he knows it."

Sam swallowed hard. His lips trembled. "I'm sorry. It's a mess. It's all such a mess." Sam put his hands to his face and began to weep.

Viki took him in her arms again and gave him silent comfort.

After several minutes, Sam pulled away from Viki. He took a deep breath. It was almost as if Viki could see him physically trying to hold himself together. Sam walked over to the sink in the cell and splashed some cold water on his face. When Viki realized there was no towel there for him, she quickly grabbed a handkerchief from her purse and gently wiped Sam's face.

"I'm in serious trouble. You know that?" Sam stated more than asked.

"Honey, please don't get upset. Bo and Nora came with me. They're outside trying to get you released on bail."

Sam laughed in a sick kind of way that gave Viki goose bumps. "Oh, Viki. Oh man. Do you really think they're going to try to get me out of here? They'll probably see if they can get me sent straight to prison without a trial."

"No. No they won't. I promise you."

"You tell them to get the hell out here. I'll be my own lawyer. Or do you think that I can't even do my job anymore!"

"Sam," Viki spoke firmly. "What I think is that you've had a very emotional day and you are in no shape to act in your own defense. It's never a good idea for an attorney to represent him or herself. You know that. I will not sit here and let you stay in jail because you don't trust Bo and Nora."

Sam sat down as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. "All of this and he's still alive."

Viki couldn't believe this was Sam, sweet, gentle, pacifist, "child of the 60's" Sam, saying he was sorry that he didn't kill someone. "Honey," Viki whispered. "I know you're very upset right now. You have to stop saying that, at least right here and now. If you want to talk about this, we'll do it when we get home. Please don't let anyone else hear you say that all you're sorry about is that Garret didn't die."

"I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a liar or a hypocrite. Garret should be dead and so should Peter."

"Peter is dead." Viki said firmly. "Neither Garret nor Peter will ever hurt Todd again. Bo found out some things about Garret. He went to see Zack Rosen. Todd was not the only one that Garret did this to. The prison tried to keep this quiet. Garret was transferred here, to Frackville, and most of those that abused the prisoners with him were either let go or transferred to other prisons. Bo believes he can find some of the other young men that Garret abused and get them to testify against him and his friends. Nora is going to have the prison records subpoenaed. I promise you. Garret and the others will not get away with what they did to Todd and to the other prisoners. I swear to you."

"Sam, she's right," Bo said quietly. Viki and Sam had not seen or heard Bo and Nora walk to Sam's cell. Bo looked Sam in the eye. "That scumbag isn't going to get away with nothing more than a bruised neck. There's going to be hell to pay for what happened to Todd and the others. We don't want this to turn into a big media circus, for Todd's sake and for the sake of the other boys that were abused. The officials at Statesville don't want publicity on this either. They'll give up Garret and the other guards in a heartbeat once they feel the heat we're gonna bring down on them."

"They will also know by tomorrow that I'll be more than happy to represent any victims of Garret's that want to file a civil suit," Nora assured Sam. "And I won't take any percentage of anything they get either. I'll have them lined up around the block waiting to sue the state over what happened."

"We'll get them by the balls and the wallet. I swear to ya, Sam," Bo declared.

Sam looked at Bo and Nora suspiciously. He didn't know what to believe. "I heard you. I was going to get the truth out of the warden myself. You were in his office when I got there."

At least they all knew how Sam found out where to find Garret.

"I headed straight back to the hospital to tell you and everyone else what I found out, but you were already gone," Bo pointed out.

"We do have good news . . . very good news," Nora announced. "We lucked out with a sympathetic judge. When he heard what Bo had to say about the man you attacked and when he heard who you were and what you've stood for all these years, he agreed to let you post bail tonight."

"You�re free to go, Sam. You can leave anytime you want," Bo declared.

Sam sat quietly. He was confused. Bo and Nora had done the complete opposite of what he thought they were going to do. God! Maybe I am insane? Sam thought. Or, are they just finding a more clever, and less obvious way to get rid of me so they can get to Todd?

"Sam!" Nora spoke loudly. "Didn't you hear Bo? You're free to go. You can't leave the state, but you can go back to Llanview until your trial. I honestly don't think there is a jury in the country that would blame you for losing it when you saw the man who did this to someone you consider your child. They'll understand how your emotions got the better of you as you waited to confront Garret."

"I wasn't there to confront him," Sam said without emotion. "I was there to kill him."

The shock Bo and Nora felt showed on their faces.

Nora quickly collected herself. She moved closer to Sam. "You will not say that again, not to anyone. Do you understand me?" Nora whispered.

Sam thought for a moment and then nodded.

Bo and Nora exchanged looks. They knew that they had to make an ethical decision right then and there. Their eyes met and they both knew that the other would do whatever it took to get Sam out of this. There had been enough suffering. No good would come of Sam going to prison. It would not benefit society, him, Viki, or Todd in any way. What they did hope was that this would drive Sam to get some help.

Viki stayed with Sam while Bo and Nora finished the paperwork. When it was done, the four of them headed back to the hospital. They knew Sam could find some peace if he was with his kid.

***********

COPYRIGHT RS 2002/RHFC

This work of fiction is not affiliated with ABC Daytime and is not

endorsed by them. The images, characters, cities and settings are all

copyrighted by ABC Daytime. All material included in these pages is, in my

belief, for educational purposes, in accordance with the "Fair Use Act".

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