SECRETS
By: Rosie2

Chapter 109, Part 2

Téa was trying to force herself to eat the chicken broth and gelatin cup that they brought her, when Rachel and Kevin came back in to see her. She'd been able to get down the tea with several sugars and the apple juice. "How're Adam and Bo?" Téa asked the second she saw them walk into her room.

"They're both doing great. Bo's already gone home and Adam has been taken back to his room," Rachel filled Téa in.

"He's probably tucked in his own bed by now. With the special blankets you brought him," Kevin added.

The memory of Adam, clutching the soft blanket with its little animal appliqués that Téa had so lovingly picked out for him, made her smile. "I'm so relieved no one was hurt badly." Téa sighed. "And I'm so, so sorry this all happened because of me."

"You?" Rachel didn't understand.

"Todd wouldn't have been in this part of the hospital if it weren't for me."

"Todd was here because he loves you. Do you want to take that back?" Kevin pointed out.

"No." Téa shook her head. "He's going to be devastated when he realizes one of his alters hurt someone and hurt him. You know someone getting hurt is one of his biggest fears about the time he loses."

"Susannah will help him work through it," Rachel comforted Téa.

"I appreciate you both going to check on Adam and Bo for me." Téa looked into their eyes as she thanked them.

"It was for me, too. You know how much Adam gets to me," Kevin reminded her.

"Téa," Rachel thought this would be a good time to broach the subject. "I asked Susannah if I could work with Adam."

Téa thought about it for a moment. Some of the same objections Sam had came to Téa's mind. "Rachel, please don't be hurt or offended by what I'm going to ask you. I know Todd has never been your favorite person. Do you think you will be able to work with Adam objectively?"

"Rachel was wonderful with Adam, Téa. I don't think you're being fair to her," Kevin snapped.

Téa was surprised to see Kevin jump to Rachel's defense with such fervor.

"It's okay, Kevin. I understand why this is a problem for Téa and for Sam," Rachel declared.

"You've already discussed this with Sam and Viki?" Téa was surprised.

"They came back to the ER before I left. Sam is afraid I want to get back at Todd," Rachel confessed.

"Rachel, I didn't mean that. All I meant was that . . .," Téa tried to think of what she did mean. She was afraid that her objections were closer to Sam's than she wanted to admit.

"Téa, I swear. I can separate my feelings about Todd from Adam. And I don't even feel about Todd the way I used to. I'm not saying I've forgotten everything he's done. At least now I understand some of it."

"I can relate to all of that," Kevin expressed his identification with Rachel.

Téa noticed Rachel smiling gratefully at Kevin. She realized Rachel was happy to have someone who understood her feelings.

"Téa, if you don't want me working with Adam I want you to tell me. I promise there won't be any hard feelings. I know you're probably still angry with me for allowing Todd to be blamed for killing Georgie. Today . . . Pete being so terrified that he would be taken back to prison for my crime . . . my God. It really brought what I did home to me. I'm so sorry. If I could take it back and confess I would. If I could take back killing Georgie and her baby I would. I can't. Maybe in somevery small way I can make it up to Todd by helping this little boy."

Téa saw sincerity in Rachel's eyes. "Rachel, I have no problem with you working with Adam. I believe you want to help. I can fill you in on what he's like . . . if you want?" Téa offered.

"I'd love that. I already know he likes to be sung to, at least by Kevin, and he likes to stim with string-like objects."

"Oh, there's so much more. He's such a precious child," Téa stated lovingly. Téa went on to tell Rachel all she remembered about Adam. Kevin threw in a few points Téa left out. Rachel noticed the way Téa's eyes sparkled when she spoke about the child. She could see how much Téa loved this part of Todd.

After a while they could see Téa was getting sleepy. "Girlfriend, I think you need some rest."

"I am a little tired," Téa admitted. "I do want to go see Adam later. They said I could go to Todd's unit in a wheelchair. They're afraid I may get dizzy if I walk that distance."

"I should go home and talk to my mom, but I'm really not in the mood for another scene," Rachel remarked.

"Nora gave you a hard time about Adam."

"Oh, yeah," Rachel confirmed. "I'm hoping Bo will calm her fears. Even if he isn't able to, Mom has to come to realize that I'm not a little girl anymore. I know I've made some terrible choices in the past. I like to think that I'm beginning to understand why I made some of those choices and that I've gotten to a better place in my life and my choices will not be as self-destructive."

"I think you've grown up a lot since you left Llanview," Téa responded.

"I've really missed you, girlfriend," Rachel declared and gave Téa a big hug. They headed out to a nearby pizza place for a quick bite. They all wanted to be refreshed for when Adam woke up.

*****************

Viki was sitting in one of the club chairs in Adam's room. She was writing in her journal. She had been keeping one again since she began therapy with Susannah. There were huge gaps between dates. Some days, the last thing Viki wanted to do was face her thoughts. Sam sat next to Adam's bed. He was stroking Adam's head as the little boy slept. Adam had rolled onto his stomach about half an hour ago. He began to suck his thumb shortly after that. Mark told them he was starting to come out of it.

When Adam began brushing at his face and making small noises, Susannah was called. They knew Adam would be awake very soon. Mark came in and did vitals on him. "He's doing great," he assured Sam and Viki when he was done. "Most likely Susannah will want to take him off the IV. He'll get the rest of his antibiotics through the NG tube." Mark checked. Adam needed changing. He called in Don to help and together they cleaned Adam up and placed a fresh absorbent brief on him. Adam whimpered in his sleep during the changing. He did not like being placed on his back. He kept trying to turn over onto his stomach. When they were done, they placed Adam back in a prone position. He contently snuggled under his blanket. He held a corner of the blanket clutched in his hand and placed his thumb in his mouth again.

Susannah stepped into Adam's room. Mark had guessed right. Susannah told him to take Adam off the IV. He was fairly good about drinking enough fluids and she knew how active he was. Susannah saw the smaller version of Adam's blanket; the one Téa had cut down for him to drag around with him, on the chair. She placed it over one of the side rails. She had a feeling Adam would want it as soon as he woke up.

Susannah had not been in the room more than ten minutes when Adam opened his eyes. His eyes immediately shifted to the right. Adam didn't pounce out of bed the way he usually did upon waking. The heavy sedation left him groggy and sluggish. Adam managed to pull himself to his knees in the bed. He then sat back on his heels. Adam didn't seem to be feeling any discomfort from his wound. The Tylenol with Codeine elixir that he had been given earlier seemed to be enough to keep his pain at bay.

"Hi, baby," Viki approached him. "You had a long sleep."

Aaaaahhhhhh!" Adam called out. He grasped his blanket and rubbed it against his cheek.

"Good talking, Adam," Viki reinforced his vocalizations. "Do you want your blanky?" she held up the smaller version.

Adam reached for it. He sniffed it and then rubbed that against his face. He was becoming a little more alert. When they saw he wanted to get off the bed, Susannah lowered the side rail. She and Don stood close to the bed in case he became dizzy. Adam hopped off the bed. He teetered for a moment. They stood at the ready. The lightheadedness passed as Adam quickly oriented to a standing position. Adam got up on his toes. Apparently he still had the need to toe-walk. Adam wasted no time. He headed for the window and began to play with the shade. He seemed to have a very good recall of his last time out.

When Sam saw that Adam was waking up he had gone out and filled Adam's sippy cup with apple juice. Sam came back in the room. He was surprised to find Adam already out of bed and stimming with the shade. He noticed Adam had his blanket clutched in his hand. He approached him. Sam looked in Susannah's direction. "He just woke up and he must be thirsty. Please don't even suggest I make him perform before I give him juice."

"No. He needs to push fluids and he needs some time to completely orient himself to us again. I'm not going to ask you to do ABA with him," Susannah replied gently.

"Apple juice!" Sam used an animated voice as he held up the sippy cup.

Adam reached for it. He began to drink thirstily. "Good boy! Good drinking your juice," Sam praised him. He didn't think of it as following Adam's program. He just wanted to make sure Adam realized that drinking the juice was a good thing.

Apparently Adam remembered the lesson Kevin taught him on how to use a sippy cup. Susannah and her staff exchanged smiles. They were very happy that Adam seemed to remember everything from his last time out.

Sam gently stroked Adam's head as he drank. "My precious boy," Sam whispered. "I love you so much."

Out of nowhere, Adam shocked them when he echoed, "Buzz. Buzz Lightyear! You are not worried are you?" The line from Toy Story had remained in his memory. It was the same line, mimicked in the exact same way that Adam had echoed last time.

"I love hearing your voice, Adam!" Sam surprised Viki when he reinforced Adam in a way that was consistent with ABA. Sam tickled the back of Adam's neck. Adam giggled his sweet giggle and scrunched his neck back. It had been a long time since Viki saw a smile that big on Sam's face.

Adam was half way through with the juice when he started to spin himself around while looking up at the ceiling. "Aaaahhhh! Aaahhhhh! Aaaahhhhhh!" Adam began to cry out. He seemed to want something.

Sam was about to ask if anyone had any M&M's when Kevin and Rachel walked into the room. Adam made a beeline for Kevin. He plopped down on his knees in front of Kevin and grabbed Kevin's hands. Kevin immediately knew what Adam wanted. A broad smile covered Kevin's face. "Fantastic asking for seesaw game, Adam!" Kevin happily reinforced. Then Kevin hesitated. "Will playing that with him hurt his wound?" Kevin inquired.

"No. Go ahead," Susannah okayed the game.

 

"AAAHHHHH!"  Adam demanded loudly.

 

Kevin laughed.  "AAAAAHHHH.  I love your voice, Adam," Kevin reinforced Adam's verbalization.  Kevin got down on his knees, too.  He held on tightly to Adam's hands and leaned back, pulling Adam with him. 

 

"Ehhhhhhh," Adam cooed in joy.  Kevin allowed himself to be pulled back by Adam.  They kept going back and forth.

 

Sam was happy to see Adam having fun.  However he wished he had thought to play this game with him. 

 

The smile on Rachel's face was as broad as Kevin's.  Adam was a delight to her.  He was quickly working his way into her heart.  Viki looked at Rachel's face.  She saw genuine caring for Adam.  Viki was glad she had been able to get Sam to agree to allow Rachel to work with Adam, under supervision.  Sam was still not totally comfortable with the idea.  He insisted that she only be allowed to work with Adam when at least one of them was present.  Viki agreed.  She knew better than to press for more.  Sam's opinion of ABA had not changed much.  He had been slightly encouraged by Adam's progress the last time he was out.  This time he was not quite so adamant in his disapproval.  He still did not want Adam subjected to most of the ABA program.  He did agree to give it another chance.  Sam found it was not as easy for him to argue his points as it had been.  He felt disconnected and numb when Viki was talking to him.  His thoughts were confused.  Viki did not want to upset Sam further.  She readily agreed to Rachel working with Adam under their supervision.  She was grateful that Sam had agreed to the ABA sessions, period. 

 

Viki walked over to Susannah.  "Sam and I both agree to allow Rachel to work with Adam, if she still wants to," Viki announced quietly. 

 

"That's great!" Susannah exclaimed.  She motioned Rachel over.  "It looks like you're going to be doing some ABA work with Adam."

 

"Really!  Oh, Viki.  Thank you.  Should I go and thank Sam?" Rachel wasn't sure.  Sam seemed to be in his own world as he watched Adam play with Kevin.

 

"Why don't we talk to him later, when Adam isn't in the room?" Susannah suggested.  She then asked Rachel, "Would you like to come to my office and familiarize yourself with everything?  That's where we're going to do Adam's sessions.  The dayroom has too many distractions."  Susannah had already set up the little table and the other things that would be needed in preparation for Adam. 

 

"I'd love to.  Do you think we can work with him this evening?" Rachel was excited.

 

"Perhaps for a very short session, just to assess what he remembers.  He's been through too much today for more than that," Susannah replied.

 

"Can we go to your office now?" Rachel requested.  "I'd love to see the way you have things set up."

 

"Sure, honey."  Susannah saw Adam was still having the time of his life.  She turned to Don.  "Let them play for another five minutes and then ask Kevin to stop.  I don't want Adam overdoing.  Ask Kevin to try singing to him before he has a chance to escalate."

 

"Will do," Don responded.

 

Susannah told Viki that she was going to give Rachel some time to prepare for Adam and that he would be brought to her office for a session in about thirty minutes. 

 

Adam showed no sign of tiring of the game.  They all wondered where he got his energy.  He had far more than Todd or any of the other alters.  "Kevin, it's time to stop now.  Adam's had enough," Don informed him.  He then gave him the rest of Susannah's instructions.

 

Kevin started to slow down.  Before Adam had a chance to get upset over the game ending, Kevin pulled Adam to him.  He tickled Adam's neck and stomach.  Adam's giggles were a pleasure for all to hear.  Even Sam managed a smile.  Now that he got Adam's mind off the game, Kevin stopped the tickling.  He held Adam in his arms and started to rock him gently and sang the Yogi Bear theme song to him.  Kevin replaced each preferred activity with another.  He realized that these should be saved for rewards, but since Susannah said it was okay this time, Kevin was thrilled to be able to make this child happy.

 

Viki walked up to Sam and placed her arm through his.  "Our Adam's happy," she whispered.  Sam nodded.  She felt the love beaming from Sam's eyes as he looked at Adam.

 

Kevin had been rocking Adam and singing to him for several minutes when Adam jumped up and began playing with the light switch.  They all shook their heads and smiled as the lights flickered on and off.  Adam had remembered another favorite activity.  Kevin stood up wearily.  His legs felt stiff.  "I'll be right back.  I'm going to the pantry for some soda or juice or something.  Can I bring anyone back anything?"  No one wanted anything.  Kevin headed over there.

 

Shortly after Adam's "light show" began, a patient transport worker wheeled Téa into the room.  "Hhhhaaa!  Adam!  Look at you!  Please move me closer to him," Téa requested.  The young woman pushing her moved her within a couple of feet of Adam.  "Thank you.  I appreciate you bringing me here," Téa told her. 

 

"You're very welcome, Mrs. Manning."  The young worker stared at Adam for a second and then, realizing she was staring, looked away.  "I've never been to this part of the hospital before," she admitted before she put the break in the on position and left Téa there.

 

"Adam," Téa called to him. 

 

He paid no attention.  He continued to flick the lights on and off.

 

With her arm through his, Viki gently led Sam over to Téa.  "Honey, how are you feeling?" Viki asked the woman who had become like a daughter to her.

 

"I'm doing okay.  I had a long nap and I woke up feeling much better."

 

"I'm so glad, sweetie.  I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

 

"Viki, that accident gave me back my husband and my family for a short time.  To me, it was a blessing."

 

Viki stroked Téa's hair and hugged her.  She then told her that Adam was going to be taken to Susannah's office for a quick assessment.  Viki linked her arm through Sam's again.  "We both decided that Rachel could work with Adam as long as one of us is present.  Right, honey?" Viki encouraged Sam to participate in the conversation. 

 

"Yeah," Sam nodded in agreement and once again became silent.  Viki was so worried about him.

 

"Hey, Téa!  You made it." Kevin greeted her when he came back into the room carrying a can of Coke.  Kevin wished that he had a six-pack of Jolt instead.  He was very tired.

 

"And in time for Adam's session." Téa announced happily. 

 

"Yeah . . . uh . . . I think this time Susannah is going to give Rachel a chance to work with him," Kevin hated to disappoint Téa, but he knew this was the plan.

 

"Oh, sure.  I just meant that I'm happy to be able to see him." Téa tried to hide her disappointment.

 

As the sedation continued to wear off, Adam felt even more energized.  He ran back and forth across the room several times.  He headed for the door.  He apparently remembered that was the way to the long hallway he liked.  Adam had no idea how to get the door opened.  The handle on it was meaningless to him.  He banged against the door with the palms of his hands.  Adam started to scream and cry.  He also began to jump up and down. 

 

"Is it all right for him to leave the room?" Téa called loudly to be heard over Adam's screams. 

 

"Yes, he doesn't place himself in danger out there.  He must want to do his ritualistic run to Susannah's office," Don stated loudly.

 

Téa stepped out of the wheelchair. 

 

"Téa!  You're not supposed to be walking around," Kevin called to her. 

 

"I'm fine," she answered impatiently.

 

Téa walked over to Adam.  She took his hand and placed it on the door handle.  Adam tried to pull it away, while continuing to cry and scream. "Do this," Téa instructed.  She maneuvered Adam's hand into pulling the door open. 

 

Adam seemed stunned for a moment.  It was as if the hallway had magically appeared.  Adam ran out.  As they figured, he ran down to Susannah's office and banged against her door with the palms of his hand.  He ran back to the nurses’ station and pounded that with his palms and then back to Susannah's office.  Inside, Susannah recognized the sound, even though her outer office muffled it.  Rachel was startled.  Rachel smiled when Susannah told her what the source of the sound was.  Susannah and Rachel stepped outside Susannah's office.  They saw Adam making his way back to the nurses’ station and then running back toward them again.  Susannah closed the outer door so Adam could hit his hands against it.  As Adam was making his way back toward the nurses’ station, Susannah motioned Don and Carl over.  "When he gets close to my office this time, lead him inside.  We're going to do a short session with him."

 

Sam's jaw was set the second he heard that.  He kept quiet, but inside he was seething at the idea of Adam being put through this and not allowed to do what he wanted.   Allowing a child to run free, doing whatever he or she wanted, was not the way Sam raised his kids or believed a child should be raised.  Somehow with Adam, these beliefs went out the window.  If it were up to Sam he'd allow Adam to do and have whatever he wanted as long as it wasn't harmful to him.

 

Viki, picked up the small version of Adam's blanket, in case he wanted it once he was in Susannah's office.  She took Sam's arm as they headed to Susannah's office and Kevin, who had helped Téa back to the wheelchair, pushed her toward Susannah's office. 

 

*************************

 

As expected, Adam started to cry the moment Carl stopped his ritualistic run by placing his hands on Adam's shoulders.  Despite the crying, Carl led him into Susannah's office. 

 

Everyone noticed the little table had been set up in the corner.  Rachel sat in one of the two chairs that had been placed by the table.  A clipboard with some forms on it and a pen sat on the table.  This time, a partition had been placed around one side of the table, effectively blocking Adam's view of most of the room and everyone, except Rachel.  A video camera had been set up, unobtrusively, so that it would capture Adam and Rachel's interaction.  A few brightly colored cubes in a small plastic pail, a flashlight, small bowls of yellow M&M's, Junior Mints, corn flakes, a sippy cup of apple juice, a toy truck, some Thomas the Train figures and a pot filled with water rested on the floor near Rachel.  Another reinforcer assessment had to be done.  Rachel also had the remote for the T.V. in her pocket.  Toy Story was in the VCR.  Susannah hoped that movie would still be a powerful reinforcer, if one were deemed appropriate. 

 

"Bring him to the table," Susannah instructed.  Carl walked Adam to the table. 

 

"Hi, Adam!  I'm Rachel.  You get to pick what you like to play with today!" Rachel spoke in a brightly animated voice. 

 

Even though Adam was still crying and Carl still had to hold Adam's shoulders to keep him near the table, Rachel began the process of seeing what, if anything of the items she had, was reinforcing to Adam.  Rachel placed the Junior Mints on the table.  Adam's crying lowered.  He stuck his hand into the bowl and grabbed some of the candies.  He sniffed them.

 

"Terrific touching the candy, Adam!" Rachel reinforced.

 

Adam let the small mints fall from his hand and he began crying again. 

 

"Oops, guess you don't like those," Rachel commented.  Rachel took the bowl away.  She placed the truck on the table.  Adam didn't even look at it.  His crying became louder and he struggled to get away from Carl.  This behavior was ignored.  Rachel held the flashlight.  She turned it on, and off.  Adam stopped struggling.  His crying lowered to small whimpering sounds.  He grabbed the flashlight from Rachel.  Like the T.V., Adam had no trouble figuring out how to work the flashlight.  He turned it on and off several times.  Each time he seemed fascinated by the circles of light he made appear on the walls, table and floor.

 

"AAAAHHHHHH," Adam protested loudly when Rachel took the flashlight away from him.  He began to cry and jump up and down. 

 

Rachel knew she found another excellent reinforcer for him.  Next she tried the corn flakes.  Adam didn't react at all to them.  He continued to cry, verbally protest, and jump up and down.  Rachel tried the pot of water.  Adam immediately stopped crying.  He stuck his hands in the lukewarm water and began trying to lift it.  Another great reinforcer,” Rachel thought.  She made another notation on one of the forms.  Adam protested even more vehemently when this was taken from him as he had when the flashlight was taken from him. 

 

"What the Hell is this!" Sam spoke up angrily.  "You're teasing him with those things.  You found something he likes, let him have it!" 

 

"Sam, please.  Honey.  You know this is part of the program.  They have to find out what he likes best so it will motivate him."

 

Sam didn't respond.  He didn't trust himself to say anything more right now.  Sam moved away from Viki and took a seat.  He was torn.  He couldn't stand watching this.  At the same time he didn't want to leave Adam alone with them, especially now that Rachel was part of this.  He felt afraid that he could no longer feel complete trust in Viki always doing the right thing for Todd, Adam and the rest of the alters.  He still believed, with all his heart, that Viki loved them more than her own life.  What he did wonder about were the things Blair put in his head.  Do Susannah, Kevin, Téa, and now Rachel, want to keep Todd sick?  Is Viki wrong to trust them?  Are they lying to her, allowing them to do things to hurt Todd?  Are Bo, Hank and Nora a part of it?  Do they all want Todd punished for his past mistakes?  Oh God!  Sam was terrified of his thoughts.  Am I losing my mind?  None of those people would do that?  Or would they?  Is Blair right?  They've all hated Todd . . . no . . . not Téa . . . Téa loves Todd . . . Todd hurt Téa, too . . . maybe she never forgave him? . . . NO! . . . I've seen Téa crying her eyes out over Todd's suffering . . . What if she fell in love with Kevin while Todd's been sick? . . . NO! NO! NO! . . . I know people . . . I see how much she loves Todd.  I see it in her eyes . . . my instincts told me how much she loves Todd from the moment I saw her with him.” 

 

Sam clenched his hands into fists.  The last thing Sam thought sent a shiver down his spine.  My instincts!  Are those the same instincts that told me Peter Manning was just a cold-hearted son of bitch instead of the sadistic, murdering, monster that he really was?  Are those the same instincts that allowed me to believe that Todd got hurt by touching a hot pot or by falling down or in a football game?  Are they the same ones that let me look into that boy's eyes day after day and not see that I was dealing with different children and kept me from seeing the extent of his pain?”  Perspiration was beading up on Sam's forehead.  His heart was pounding as these thoughts bombarded him and further twisted his perceptions.  Sam no longer had any faith in his ability to know what was true.

 

Sam had been so lost in his own anguished thoughts that he didn't hear Adam quiet down again for a few seconds when Rachel put out a few Thomas the Train figures.  Adam had sniffed them and touched them. 

 

"Good touching the toys, Adam!" Rachel praised.

 

Adam lined them up in a row.  Then he quickly lost interest.  He began to protest again, but not as loudly and he whimpered more than cried. 

 

Rachel removed the toys from the table and placed the sippy cup on it.  Adam picked it up on his own and took a few sips of juice.  Rachel took the cup.  Adam didn't protest vocally or cry.  Rachel made another notation.  While Adam apparently liked apple juice, it was at best a so-so reinforcer as were the Thomas the Train toys.  The best had been the water and the flashlight. 

 

Sam once again moved to where Viki stood.  Viki took his hand and squeezed it affectionately.  Sam felt guilty for what he had just been thinking. 

 

Rachel now placed both the apple juice and the Thomas the Train toys on the table.  Adam reached for the apple juice and took a few more sips before Rachel took it away from him.  She placed the apple juice and the pot of water on the table.  Adam ignored the apple juice and began to stim with the water again.  "Ehhhhh," he cooed.  "AAAAAHHHHH!" he protested when Rachel gently removed his hands from the water, dried them and took the pot away for a couple of seconds.  She then placed both the flashlight and the pot of water back on the table.  Adam picked up the flashlight and turned it on and off a couple of times.  He let it drop back to the table and gave the water his attention.  The water turned out to be the most powerful reinforcer.  Toy Story would be reserved for times when Adam needed what they assumed would still be a very powerful reinforcer. 

 

"Great standing by the table, Adam!" Rachel verbally reinforced him.  "Go play," she told Adam brightly.  It was now his break time.  She allowed him to play with the water for a few seconds while she made some more notations.

 

Susannah headed over to where Sam, Viki, Téa and Kevin stood watching from where Adam couldn't see them. 

 

"He's doing great.  I think Rachel works very well with him," Kevin stated. 

 

"She seems to be," Viki cautiously admitted as well.

 

"Is the water going to be used as his reinforcer from now on?" Téa asked.

 

"Certainly as one of them, until he tires of it," Susannah confirmed, "along with the flashlight, tickles, singing, the seesaw game, M&M's, and anything else he still likes or we discover he likes in the future." 

 

"Are you going to let him stop for dinner?" Sam asked.  His tone was more sarcastic than he had intended.  Sam was a little less upset about this than he had been a short time ago.  When Adam was less upset, Sam was less upset.

 

"Yes, this session will end shortly.  I'll have the staff prepare some of Adam's known favorites and a new item or two.  In fact. . . ."  Susannah motioned Don over.  "Will you please ask the staff to whip up a bowl of oatmeal and a bowl of mashed bananas for Adam and have someone call down to the cafeteria for some mashed potatoes and some mac and cheese.  We'll also try a bowl of vanilla ice cream.  His session should run about another 20 minutes, with breaks."

 

"See, honey.  That's not so bad.  It'll be a short session and then Adam will have his dinner.  We found out he likes pots of water and flashlights," Viki added encouragingly.

 

Sam took a deep breath through his nose and nodded.  He didn't know what to think.

 

Susannah patted Viki on the arm and headed over to the table.  "We're going to try the chair," she cued Carl and Rachel.

 

Rachel adjusted the chairs so that they faced each other.  "Sit," she gave the Sd. 

 

They gave Adam a couple of seconds to comply.  No one expected him to.  Carl used a full physical prompt.  He gently guided Adam by the shoulders.  He sat him in the chair.  As expected, Adam began to cry and tried to get up.

 

"I love how you're sitting," Rachel verbally reinforced and held out a yellow M&M.  Adam took it and shoved it in his mouth.  After three seconds in the chair, Rachel told Adam, "Go play," as Carl released him. 

 

"I thought he was going to get to play with the water if he complied?" Sam asked angrily.

 

"No, Sam.  Remember . . . Susannah told us he only gets the best reinforcer when he complies on his own," Téa reminded him.

 

"And that's okay with you?" Sam couldn't believe he was the only one who saw cruelty in this.  Are they all trying to hurt him?” Sam wondered.  He hated himself for thinking this.

 

Whether out of frustration or a burst of energy, Adam had begun to run back and forth across the room during his break.  After a minute Rachel nodded to Carl.  "Sit," Rachel gave the Sd again.

 

Adam once again cried loudly and struggled as Carl led him to the chair and gently sat him in it.  Rachel placed her legs around the legs of Adam's chair.  This helped prevent him from leaving the chair.  After five seconds in the chair Rachel held out another yellow M&M.  "Great job sitting, Adam!  Go play."  Adam ignored the candy this time. Carl and Rachel released Adam.

 

Adam slid down to the floor and began kicking and screaming.  Viki grabbed Sam's arm as he started to head to Adam.  "Just give it a few minutes.  He's doing so well.  Give them a chance," Viki pleaded.

 

Before Sam had a chance to respond, Adam stopped tantruming.  He sat cross-legged.  He began to wiggle his fingers near his eyes and make a squeaking sound. 

 

"Great calming down," Rachel reinforced.

 

Adam was clearly getting the message that tantruming was not getting him anywhere.  So he opted to calm himself down by stimming.  For now they were happy with his choice.

 

After a couple of minutes, Adam stood up.  He headed for the window.  Before he had a chance to get involved with the shade, Rachel nodded to Carl again.  "Sit" Rachel patted Adam's chair.

 

Adam didn't respond, but he didn't cry, scream or struggle when Carl walked him to the chair or sat him down.  "Fantastic sitting!" Rachel praised.  She handed Adam the flashlight. 

 

Adam immediately began to play with it.  He jumped up and began spinning in a circle as he shined the light on the ceiling.  He seemed to love watching the circle of light spin along as he twirled.

 

Rachel walked up to Adam.  She tenderly stopped his spinning.  Susannah was happy to see that Rachel was not in any way fearful of physical contact with the child who lived in Todd's body.  "AAAAHHHH!" Adam protested. 

 

"AAAAHHHHH.  I love to hear your voice, Adam!" Rachel reinforced.  She took way the flashlight.  Adam started to cry, but not tantrum.

 

Rachel headed back to the table.  "Sit," she again gave the Sd.

 

Adam didn't respond.  Instead of putting his hands on Adam's shoulders, Carl tried a less invasive prompt.   He placed his hands on Adam's elbows.  Surprising everyone, Adam allowed Carl to guide him to the chair.  Carl only placed one hand, very lightly, on Adam's shoulder and guided him into the chair when Adam didn't sit on his own.  Adam didn't look happy, but he didn't cry or try to get away.

 

"Awesome sitting, Adam!" Rachel placed the pot of water in front of Adam.  Even though he still needed some prompting, she knew this called for the reinforcer that tested as the most powerful of those she gave him.

 

"Ehhhhh," Adam cooed happily.  He thrust his hands into the water and began stimming with it.

 

“Maybe it won't be so bad . . . I don't know . . . oh God, I don't know what's right for Todd and the others anymore,” Sam thought to himself.

 

********************

Susannah had ended the session on this high note.  They didn't get to where they could try "do this," and have him imitate placing a block in a bucket.  Fortunately, Adam seemed to retain his experiences from his previous time out.  Toy Story was saved for next time.  Perhaps Adam would come to the chair unprompted.  Adam cried when his hands were taken out of the water and dried off and the pot was taken away.  He stopped when he was led back out into the hallway and given the chance to run again. 

 

"Hey, Gannon.  You are really something.  I know you said you worked with some autistic kids, but I didn't realize you were this well trained," Kevin complimented Rachel.

 

"You really were very good with him," Téa chimed in.  Téa felt a little guilty.  While she was happy that Rachel worked so well with Adam, she felt a little left out.  She had hoped to get to work with him the next time he came out. 

 

"Thank you, Rachel.  You were very patient and gentle with him," Viki praised her.

 

Sam said nothing.  He headed out into the hallway to keep an eye on Adam.

 

"Mom, I know Sam still has huge problems with Adam's program.  I honestly think he's coming around a little.  At least he didn't disrupt it as much as the other times and I think he sees that Adam is making progress." Kevin tried to reassure Viki.

 

"I think so, too.  It's just going to take him some time," Viki stated sadly.  She turned to Rachel again.  "We usually eat in the dayroom with Adam, when he's out.  Would you like to join us?"

 

Rachel was eager to observe Adam in that situation.  "I need to call home and see how Bo is doing.  If everything is all right, I would love to join you."

 

Viki turned to Téa.  "Honey, I'd ask you to join us, but I don't think you're supposed to be out of bed for this long.  I'm sure your doctor only meant for you to have a quick visit with Todd."

 

Téa knew Viki was right because she was exhausted and her head was hurting.  She felt a little nauseous and slightly dizzy.  She knew she was doing too much; nevertheless, she wanted to stay with Adam.  She felt a slight pang of jealousy at being left out.  "I'm fine," Téa lied.  "I'll just sit quietly in my chair until Adam has his dinner.  Then I'll be a good patient and head back to my own room.  I'm sure they'll be discharging me sometime tomorrow anyway.  I don't see why I would have to stay an extra day.  They already told me I'll have to come for a follow-up CT scan on an outpatient basis." 

 

"Téa, are you planning on staying with Carlotta when you leave here?" Viki assumed she was.

 

"No, I'll be okay in my hotel room.  I can always call the desk if I don't feel well."

 

"Oh, honey.  I don't think that's a good idea at all.  You shouldn't be alone for the next few days."  Viki thought for a second.  "Why don't I come and stay with you?  Adam doesn't depend on me the way the other children do and I know Todd would want me to do that."

 

"Viki, no.  That's not necessary.  I'm not going to take you away from here.  What if one of the other children comes out or if Todd has some kind of crisis.  No," Téa shook her head.  "I can take care of myself."

 

Rachel walked closer to Téa.  "How about we become roomies again for a few days?"

 

Téa was surprised.  "Aren't you staying with Bo and your mom?"

 

Rachel laughed.  "I honestly don't think they will perish in the night if I'm away for a few days.  Come on.  It'll be fun.  We can gossip, and watch some videos and load up on junk food.  And to tell you the truth, once I tell my mom I'm definitely working with Adam, I think my being away from her for a few days would work out great for me.  It'll give her some time to cool down."

 

Téa didn't know why, but this idea did not appeal to her too much.  She felt horrible about feeling that way. Rachel was her best friend.  Téa put whatever reservations she had out of her mind.  "Thanks, Rachel.  Okay.  Roomie," Téa joked.

 

"Rachel," Susannah called to her.  "I'm very proud of you.  I'm also impressed with your training." 

 

"Thank you, Aunt Susannah," Rachel hugged her aunt.  "I know no matter how much you love me you wouldn't let me near Adam again if I hadn't handled him well, so your praise means so much to me."

 

Susannah hugged Rachel back tightly.  "You're right.  Adam's care comes first.  And since the treatment you did with him was excellent, I'm happy to have you on our team."  Susannah pulled back from Rachel.  She continued to hold onto her niece's arms.  "Rachel, you have to tell your mom that you are actually working with Adam.  I think she believes it was only a passing thought."

 

"I will.  She's going to go ballistic."

 

"I know," Susannah confirmed, "especially after what happened today.  That's why I think you need to give her time to react, then process it, and then hopefully accept your decision."

 

"I'm not chickening out," Rachel smiled.  "I'm going to call her right now to see how Bo is and I will explain to her that I'm going to be staying with Téa for a few days and that I'm going to be working with Adam whenever he's out."

 

Susannah sighed.  "You can use the phone in my office so you can have some privacy.  Good luck, sweetie." 

 

"Oy! Am I gonna need it," Rachel did a perfect imitation of her grandmother.  Both she and Susannah laughed.

 

************************

 

Adam had stopped running after a while.  He plopped down in the middle of the hallway and began to wiggle his fingers near his eyes again.  They allowed him to continue and walked around him until it was time to eat.  Additional meals of turkey platters were agreed on for the adults. 

 

"Did you speak with your mom or Bo?" Susannah asked when Rachel came into the dayroom.  Kevin, Viki and Téa joined them.  They too wanted to know how Bo was doing.  Sam remained in the hallway, watching Adam.  He felt most at peace when he was close to Todd and the alters.

 

"Yes.  Bo is fine.  He answered the phone.  He said he had some discomfort, but the painkiller took care of that.  He said Mom even let him pick out some old cowboy movies at the video store, just this once."  They all laughed along with Rachel. 

 

"Did you get a chance to tell your mom that you're definitely working with Adam?" Kevin asked.

 

"You mean you couldn't hear her all the way in here?" Rachel rolled her eyes as she kidded them.

 

"That bad?" Susannah stated.

 

"I'm exaggerating about the shouting . . . Mom is not a happy camper.  She was all for me working with children with autism.  Now that I have this great chance she's carrying on like this."

 

"Rachel, I think you have to be fair," Viki spoke up.  She hated that Nora felt the way she did, but she understood why.  "Adam isn't your typical child with autism.  He lives inside the body of someone who hurt your mom.  I'd hoped that Nora had come to terms with Todd and why he is the way he is.  She seemed to understand why Susannah worked with him and how desperately Todd and the alters need the very best help they can get."

 

"Viki, I think Nora was starting to understand," Susannah agreed.  "I'm afraid she has been traumatized by the incident with Bo and all those old feelings about Todd came back.  And . . . Rachel, I hope you completely understand this . . . I cannot guarantee that Todd or one of the alters won't hurt you or cause you to be injured in some way.  They are unpredictable and they can escalate quickly."

 

"I know that, Aunt Susannah.  I also know that I felt absolutely no fear around Adam.  I appreciate the warning, but I can't help him if I'm going to have my guard up all the time.  I do understand what you’re saying and I understand my mom's fears.  I'm willing to accept the risks.  I enjoyed working with Adam.  He's a very sweet little boy.  I also consider this a great opportunity and a unique challenge, one I may never get again.  And frankly, I believe I owe Todd.  If helping this little boy in some way helps Todd too, it makes me want to work with Adam even more."

 

Viki squeezed Rachel's hand.  "Thank you.  If you like, I'll try to talk to your mom again."

 

"No, Viki.  Thanks for the offer, but no.  I'm a big girl.  If therapy has taught me anything it's that I have to stand up for myself with my parents.  I never had any problems standing up for myself with friends or strangers.  It was my need for my parents' approval that kept me trying to turn my life into what they wanted instead of what I wanted.  This is what I want.  I'd like my mom and dad to be happy for me.  If they can't be, that will be their problem.  I don't think my mom and dad are going to be too happy with another choice I've made.  I'm going to be working as a hostess at Club Indigo."  Rachel hesitated.  She glanced at each of them, expecting to see some negative reaction.  She was pleasantly surprised that there was none.  "Uncle RJ offered me several other more prestigious positions.  I wanted something without pressure.  I want my days free for school.  I know Adam may not be out often or for long periods when he is out.  I want to be available when he here.  Being a hostess is decent money and not something I have to devote much time or thought to when I'm not working.  I realize mom and dad will not be happy about my spending so much time with RJ or at the club.  They will have to work through that . . . or not.  Either way, it's my life.  From now on, I'm going to live it based on my choices, not theirs."

 

Viki, Susannah and Téa noticed Kevin's eyes gleaming with admiration for Rachel.  They were all proud of her.

 

*********************

 

Once the food was brought in and everyone was settled down with his or her plate, Adam was brought into the dayroom.  Sam followed behind.  Adam was whimpering as Don led him in.  He was not crying or struggling.  Adam headed for Kevin.  He jumped up and down in front of him. 

 

"I think he wants me to sing to him," Kevin guessed.

 

"If he eats something then you can use the song as a reinforcer," Susannah directed Kevin. 

 

Sam's jaw clenched, but he said nothing.  He too wanted Adam to eat.

 

Kevin forced himself to continue to eat while Adam continued to jump up and down and call out "Aaaahhhhh."  Kevin held his plate out to Adam to see if he would eat something.  Adam ignored it and continued to jump and vocalize.

 

"We treat eating and learning to touch and taste foods as another trial," Susannah informed Rachel.  "Come here." Susannah gave the Sd as she stood by table that contained Adam's food choices. 

 

When Adam didn't respond on his own, Don guided him to the table by his shoulders.  "Great walking to the table, Adam!" Susannah's voice was highly animated.  She held out the bowl of macaroni and cheese.  Adam sniffed it and shoved a handful in his mouth.  "Yayyyy! good job eating, Adam!" Susannah reinforced.  Adam grabbed another handful, but walked away from the table as he ate it.  He headed for the window and began playing with the shade.

 

Susannah motioned Kevin over to where Adam's food selections were.  "You do 'come here' with him, then try one of the new dishes . . . the potatoes or the ice cream."

 

"Come here," Kevin instructed.

 

Adam was guided to the table.  This time he was crying because they had taken him away from one of his favorite activities.  Kevin held out the mashed potatoes for him.  "Do this," Kevin instructed as he scooped some potato up on his index finger and licked it off.  Adam sniffed the food.  He touched the potatoes with his finger and then grabbed a handful and shoved it in his mouth, getting most of it on his face.  Kevin laughed.  "Wow!  I like the way you did that!" Kevin reinforced and rested the bowl on the table.  Adam ate two more handfuls before he tired of it.  "Way to go, Adam!" Kevin held up Adam's hand and gave him a high five.  Adam smiled and giggled.  Kevin wiped Adam's face off with one of the damp washcloths that had been provided.

 

Susannah pointed to the slightly melted ice cream.  "Do the Sd again."

 

"Do this." Kevin scooped some ice cream up on his finger and ate it.  Adam sniffed it.  As he had with the other foods, Adam thrust his hand into the ice cream.  He managed to get some of it in his mouth.  "Wooohooo!  I love the way you did that!" Kevin began to sing the Yogi Bear song to Adam.  Susannah motioned for Kevin to stop singing.  She instructed him to repeat the Sd.  When he did, Adam took some more.  Kevin reinforced with praise and a few more bars of the song.  "He's either starting to get it or he's hungry," Kevin joked.  They could see the love in his eyes as he looked at Adam.  Adam ate another handful of ice cream.  On his own he took some more macaroni and cheese.  Susannah jotted down some notations on Adam's expanding food choices.  Also, on his own, Adam touched the mashed bananas.  He shoved a handful of them into his mouth.  Apparently, having his fill, Adam plopped down on the floor.  He began to rub his face and cry.  Everyone exchanged looks.  They had no idea why he was crying. 

 

Susannah reached for a couple of the damp washcloths.  She took Adam's hands down and cleaned the food off of them.  She then cleaned the remaining food off of Adam's face and checked it for any irritation or bruise.  There was none. 

 

Suddenly Téa remembered.  "He wants his blanket.  He likes to rub it against his face."

 

They looked around for it.  It didn't seem to be anywhere.

 

"I must have left it in Susanna's office.  I suppose I rested it down and then forgot it." Viki stated.

 

"I'll go for it," Kevin volunteered.

 

"Kevin, here," Susannah tossed him the keys.  "My secretary is gone for the day and the door is locked."

 

Adam's crying lowered.  He looked tired.  Adam began to rock himself and suck his thumb in an attempt to self-sooth.  He was still whimpering for his blanket.

 

Before anyone else had a chance to reinforce Adam's behavior, Téa got out of the wheelchair, despite words of caution about overdoing it from Viki and Susannah.  She sat on the floor next to Adam.  "Adam, I love how you're sitting nicely."  It was the first time Téa had really had a chance to be this close to him all day.  "Your blanket is coming.  Adam, I love you so much." Téa stroked his head.  She tickled the back of Adam's neck.  Without removing his thumb from his mouth, Adam smiled, giggled and scrunched his head back.  This brought a smile to everyone's face. 

 

Kevin came back with the piece of blanket material that Adam liked to hold.  "Are you out of that chair again?" he gently chastised Téa.  "You're never gonna win cooperative patient of the month at this rate." 

 

Téa smiled and took the material from Kevin.  She turned back to Adam.  Téa held the blanket up near her eyes.  "Adam!  Looook what I have."  Adam made eye contact with Téa, for a moment.  "I love seeing your eyes, Adam!  I love those eyes!"  Téa hugged Adam and tickled his tummy.  He burst into laughter.  Téa tickled him one more time.  To Téa, Adam's laughter was like the sound of an angel singing.  "Adam's such a good boy.  I love, Adam.  Oh, I love you, Adam." Téa rocked him gently, as she continued to hug him. 

 

Adam made no further eye contact with Téa.  He did stay in her arms for a couple of minutes before he squirmed away.  He began to rub his blanket against his face and resumed sucking his thumb.  They could see his eyelids getting heavy. 

 

Kevin helped Téa up and back to the wheelchair. 

 

"You were wonderful with him," Rachel complimented.

 

"I'm not just teaching him.  I love him." Téa and those around her were surprised by the sharpness of her tone.

 

"I-I'm sorry . . . I . . . I didn't mean that you were just his teacher the way I am.  I just . . ."

 

"No." Téa sighed deeply.   "Rachel, I'm sorry." Téa cut her off.  "I didn't mean it to come out like that.  Please." Téa shook her head.  "Rach, it's been a long day.  I'm sorry." 

 

Rachel hugged Téa.  "No problem, girlfriend." 

 

Susannah knelt down next to Adam.  She headed over to where his family and Rachel sat.  "We're going to take Adam to his room.  He needs to be cleaned up and changed.  We can't give him a bath or shower for a few days because of his leg wound.  We'll have to give him a bed bath.  Hopefully he's so sleepy that he won't have too hard a time with that.  I'm going to order some sleep med along with his other medications.  I don't want him up at three o'clock in the morning, ready for his day.  Todd's body has been through too much today."  He should sleep through the night.  Once I know he's asleep, I'll be going home.  I suggest you all do the same.  Someone will call you if Todd or one of the other alters comes back and needs you."

 

*********************

 

Sam did not want to leave Adam.  Viki and Sam agreed that he would stay in Adam's room and she would go home for the night.  Viki hadn't slept in her own bed for a while now.  The actual reason Viki decided to go home was to let Sam know she trusted him to take care of "their kid," on his own.

 

After Adam had been taken to his room, Kevin and Rachel wheeled Téa back to her room.  They didn't bother to call and wait for patient transport.  Doctor Anderson had come to check on Téa before he left for the day.  He told her he had come earlier and was told she was visiting her husband.  He gently lectured Téa on the lack of rest she was getting.  He cautioned her that with the serious head injury she sustained, she should be taking better care of herself.  Téa minimized the headache, nausea and slight dizziness she was feeling and pushed for an early discharge.  Doctor Anderson agreed to the possibility, depending on his findings when he and Doctor Marahbee came to examine her in the morning.

 

Once they had gotten Téa back to her own bed, Kevin offered to drive Rachel back to Bo and Nora's.  On the way they stopped at a TCBY for some frozen yogurt sundaes.  They had both forgotten how easily they made each other laugh.  Before they knew it they had been talking for more than ninety minutes and had gone through two sundaes each.  They took a long walk around the park.  Kevin filled Rachel in on the end of his relationship with Cassie and she filled him in on her time spent in Statesville and with her grandparents.  Rachel was relieved that Bo and Nora had already gone to bed by the time she arrived home.

 

***********************

 

Susannah's educated guess had been accurate.  Adam was so sleepy by the time they got him to his room; their efforts to clean and change him were only met with a few small protests.  Adam was asleep before they finished.  Thanks to the medication Susannah ordered, Adam did sleep through the night.  Sam was not as fortunate.  He had been woken up by a nightmare that left him trembling.  He could remember it clearly. 

 

Sam was sitting, alone, on a beach.  His back was to the ocean.  He heard muffled sounds coming from the water.  He tried to jump up to see if someone were in trouble.  His feet kept sinking deeper and deeper into the sand.  When he finally managed to pull himself free, he saw Todd.  Todd was trying to fight his way back to the shore.  He was being pulled out to sea.  Sam tried desperately to get to him.  Each time a wave came crashing into Sam, pushing him back.  When the water finally calmed down, Todd was gone. 

 

Sam woke up crying out Todd's name.  Dave rushed into the room.  Sam was shaking and embarrassed.  He was covered in perspiration.  Sam insisted he was all right and turned down Dave's offers to get one of the nurses or to stay and talk to him.  Sam was grateful that Adam hadn't been woken up.  Adam lay on his stomach.  His thumb was in his mouth, his blanket was clutched in his hand and he was sleeping peacefully.  After Dave went back to his post outside the door, Sam stroked Adam's silky head and kissed it.  He brushed away the tear of his that had fallen on Adam.

 

************************

 

Téa was the first to come back to Adam's room in the morning.  The clang of shifts changing and breakfast carts being wheeled around woke her up at a few minutes after seven.  Téa had awoken once during the night.  She called Todd's unit.  Connie told her Adam was sleeping soundly and all was well.  Doctor Anderson told Téa that he and Doctor Marahbee would be in to examine her at around ten, right after morning rounds were completed.  As soon as the nurse on the morning shift did Téa's vitals, Téa slipped on her robe and slippers and headed off to see Adam.  Despite the protest of two nurses and a tech, Téa didn't wait for anyone to wheel her there.  She insisted she was fine and feeling much better after a good night's sleep.

 

Angelo was posted at the door.  His shift had started a short time before Téa got there.  She greeted him with a smile and a "good morning."  He told Téa that Sam had already awaken and had gone to the family lounge to take a shower.  Téa tiptoed over to Adam's bed.  She leaned over the side rail and kissed Adam's soft cheek.  She pulled his blanket up a little higher. 

 

Téa headed out to the nurses’ station.  Nancy and Eileen were talking quietly to each other.  "Hi, Téa!" Nancy greeted her. 

 

"It looks like you're feeling much better," Eileen commented.

 

"I am.  I'm hoping they'll discharge me today.  Do you know what time Doctor Hanen is expected in?"

 

"She should be here any minute," Nancy stated.  "Is there something that we can help you with until she gets here?"

 

"No, I just wanted to find out if she planned on scheduling each of us to work with Adam or if Rachel will be working with him exclusively while he's out this time.  She was very good with him," Téa added.  Nancy and Eileen saw that Téa wanted to have a chance to work with Adam, too.  They knew if Susannah thought it best that Rachel work with him for the time being, Téa would do whatever was best for Adam, despite her own needs.  They exchanged admirable glances for the young woman standing before them.

 

Viki returned to the unit before Susannah did.  Téa told her where Sam was.  Viki told Téa that Kevin wouldn't be coming until later in the afternoon.  He had work to do at the Banner.  After Viki had a peek at Adam, she headed for the lounge.  She wanted to see how Sam was doing.

 

Susannah was the next to arrive.  She looked refreshed after a restful night's sleep and an early breakfast date with Bill.  She told Téa she would take her to her office as soon as she checked Adam's chart and looked in on him.

 

While Susannah was at sitting at the nurses’ station, reading the chart, Rachel showed up.  "You haven't been here all night?" Rachel asked Téa in a scolding tone.

 

"No.  Don't be silly.  I came back here after they clanged me awake with the breakfast trays.  I don't know how they expect anyone to get any good sleep in a hospital."

 

"Do you know if Adam is still out?" Rachel asked hopefully.

 

"I was in there a short time ago and it was Adam.  You did a great job with him, yesterday," Téa graciously added.

 

Rachel smiled.  "I'm so excited about working with him and about going back to school.  I think I've finally found what I want to do with my life.  The music business wasn't really for me . . . God alone knows law school wasn't for me . . . this . . . working with these children . . . helping them become part of the world . . . girlfriend . . . it fits me like a glove."

 

Téa hugged Rachel.  "I'm happy for you." Téa meant that from the bottom of her heart.  "Did you have a chance to tell Nora that you are part of Todd's treatment team?"

 

"No.  Mom and Bo were asleep when I got home last night and they were asleep when I left this morning.  I stopped by Carlotta's for breakfast, before I came here.  I've packed enough of my things for a few days.  My stuff is in my trunk, so if they say you can go home today . . . you've got yourself a roommate again."

 

"I take it you made sure to get out of the house before you had to confront your mom," Susannah guessed.  She overheard what Rachel told Téa as she approached the young women.

 

Rachel looked as if she were about to deny it.  Instead she shrugged.  "Yeah, I suppose I did chicken out.  I will go to Mom's office later and tell her.  It won't make a difference.  I'm sorry if my choices will cause her anxiety about me, but this is what I want to do with my life.  I'm through trying to be what they want me to be.  If Mom and Dad had their way I'd either be a partner in her law practice by now, or I'd be an ADA."

 

They all turned and looked in the direction of Adam's room.  They heard his familiar "Aaaahhhhhh."  They could hear Adam was awake and ready to start his day. 

 

********************

 

Jeff had been sitting in Adam's room.  He knew the little boy would be awake soon.  Jeff had smiled when Adam began to hum to himself in his sleep.  He called in Angelo.  They lowered the side rails and stood on either side of the bed.  Adam pulled his thumb from his mouth and opened his eyes.  As was Adam's habit, he immediately climbed off the bed.  He started to drag his full sized blanket with him.  Angelo quickly substituted the cut down piece of the blanket.  Adam held it.  He sniffed it and rubbed it against his face.  Adam headed for the bathroom door.  They had made sure to keep it tightly closed.  "AAAAHHHHH!" Adam cried out.  He hit his palms against the door.  He remembered the tub filled with water that had been in there on his previous time out. 

 

"Aaaahhhhhh.  I like your voice, Adam!" Angelo reinforced.  Adam continued to bang on the door.  Angelo placed his hands on Adam's shoulders and led him away.  "Sorry, buddy.  No baths for now.  You have a big boo-boo on your leg."

 

Adam tried to get back to the door.  Angelo led him toward the toy box.  He was going to try again to interest him in the top or the ball.  Adam started to bite his own hand.  Jeff approached him.  He gently pushed Adam's hand further into his mouth, so as to force Adam's jaw open.  He then quickly pulled Adam's hand out of his mouth.  If he had tried to pull his hand out, without first getting him to open his jaw wider, Adam's teeth might have ripped through his skin.  Jeff held Adam's hands down.  After a few moments he released them.  Adam did not make another attempt at biting himself.  "Good quiet hands, Adam!" Jeff reinforced.

 

"Oh-oh!" Adam echoed the phrase he once heard Kevin say. 

 

"Yaaayyyy! Great talking, Adam!" Jeff reinforced him.

 

Adam headed for the door that led out of the room, into the hallway.  He banged the palms of his hands against that one, too.  He still had no idea what the handle on the door was for. 

 

They knew he wanted to make his ritualistic run from the nurses’ station to Susannah's office.  "Good showing us what you want!" Angelo knew this effort needed to be reinforced.  "Do this." As Téa had done, Angelo placed Adam's hand on the handle and prompted pulling the door open.  Adam ran out into the hallway.  As usual he headed for the door to Susannah's office.

 

Téa, Rachel, Susannah and the staff all smiled at the site of Adam.  His boundless energy was a pleasure for all of them to see, given how physically ill Todd's body had been just a few weeks ago.  Bo had filled Rachel in on how close they had come to losing Todd on a couple of occasions.

 

"We're going to try some Cream Of Wheat and rice pudding with him this morning," Nancy told Susannah.

 

"Téa, did your doctors say what time they'd be coming in to examine you?" Susannah asked.

 

"Around ten, I have plenty of time.  Would it be all right if I tried to get Adam to eat his breakfast?"

 

"Sure it would.  Do you want to come to my office first?  I know you want to talk to me."

 

"If it's okay, I'd like to wait and come to see you after Adam has his breakfast?"

 

"That'll be fine.  I want to take Rachel to my office and discuss what I want her to try in today's session with Adam." 

 

Téa hated to admit it.  However she was happy Rachel would be occupied and she'd have Adam to herself.  "Do you need to do anything to him, before he has breakfast?" Téa asked.

 

"No.  He was given his morning meds and a feeding while he was still asleep.  His wound was cleaned and the dressing was changed and he's been changed.  He can have free time until breakfast.  Then afterward I want his teeth cleaned, if possible, and then it will be time for his session.  We'll still be working on attending skills.  If we can get him to sit at the table on his own today, we'll try for nice quiet hands.  He needs to learn to keep his hands quietly in his lap when he's receiving instruction.  Once we can get him to attend properly, we can start working on an imitation program.  That would be something like modeling dropping a block in a bucket for him while saying 'do this.'  If he can't do it on his own at first, we will prompt him, and reinforce him as if he did it on his own," Susannah explained.

 

Susannah and Rachel headed for Susannah's office.  Adam continued his ritualistic run from Susannah's office to the nurses’ station.  When Rachel and Susannah passed him in the hallway, he did not appear to even see them.  Susannah waited until he was on his way back to the nurses’ station before she opened the door to her office to usher herself and Rachel inside. 

 

Téa sat in the lounge and waited patiently for Adam's to either tire of running or for his breakfast to be brought in.  She was surprised to see Kevin waiting to be let in.  "I thought you weren't going to be here until the afternoon.  Did you come for Adam's session?"

 

"No." Kevin patted his briefcase.  "I have some papers I need mom to look over.  It's too much for me to have tied up the hospital's fax machine with."

 

"Your mom went to the lounge to see how Sam is doing."

 

"When I saw mom at the house this morning, she told me Sam stayed with Adam last night.  I hope he's going to stop being such a pain in the ass about Adam's sessions."

 

"Ah, come on, Kevin.  Sam's going through a lot now.  He seems to be a little better about things this time.  I think he's starting to realize that ABA is the best way to go with Adam."  Téa felt so bad for Sam.  She knew how much he was suffering.

 

"I hope you're right.  I don't want him causing problems!" There was a touch of anger in Kevin's voice.

 

"Is it Adam or Rachel you don' t want him causing problems for?"  Téa's question had come out more like an accusation. 

 

"Both!" Kevin responded sharply.  "Do you have some kind of problem with Rachel working with Adam?"

 

"No!  I see that she knows what she's doing and I'm happy she found something she loves.  I want to make sure that what's best for Adam is always your top priority."

 

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Kevin turned so he was facing Téa.  "You know how much I care about Adam."

 

Before Téa had a chance to respond, Adam noticed Kevin.  He ran over to where Kevin sat.  Adam plopped down on his knees and pulled on Kevin's hands.

 

Kevin, Téa and the staff all broke into smiles and laughter.  "I think I can guess what you want," Kevin kidded tenderly.  Kevin got down on his knees.  He was face to face with Adam.  "Say, I want to play," Kevin tried.  He figured, you never know. 

 

"Aaahhhh," Adam responded in his usual way.  He continued to pull on Kevin's hands.

 

"Seesaw," Kevin called out in a singsong tone.  He leaned way back, pulling Adam forward. 

 

Adam laughed.  Kevin allowed himself to be pulled back by Adam.  They did this over and over again.  Adam was giggling and laughing all the while.  Téa and the staff watched them play.  They all had big smiles on their faces. 

 

"Seesaw," Adam echoed, about six minutes after Kevin had said it.

 

"Way to go, Adam!  Great talking!" Kevin pulled Adam into a hug. 

 

"Wow, Adam!  Haaaaa!  I love when you talk."  Téa joined Adam and Kevin on the floor.  Téa and Kevin both hugged Adam.  They tickled his neck and tummy.  The joyous sound of Adam's laughter and giggles filled the area.  Susannah and Rachel heard the sweet sound of it as they walked down the hallway.  They stopped a few yards away from where Téa, Kevin and Adam sat. 

 

"He echoed 'seesaw' several minutes after he heard Kevin say it," Angelo filled Susannah and Rachel in.  Rachel and Susannah exchanged happy smiles and continued to watch from a short distance.

 

"I love you.  Oh, I love you so much." Téa spoke softly, into Adam's left ear. 

 

********************

 

Todd had been sleeping soundly in Goodone's arms when he heard Téa's voice saying I love you.  He slowly opened his eyes. 

 

Goodone kissed Todd's forehead.  "It's not time yet.  Sleep, Todd.  Sleep."

 

"Téa," Todd whispered.

 

"She loves you.  You'll get back to her soon.  Shhhh.  Sleep." Goodone soothed.

 

Todd's eyes felt heavy with sleep.  He glanced around.  He saw a teenage boy standing far in the distance.  The boy seemed to be on a different plane.  His world seemed different from the world Todd inhabited when he was inside . . . separate . . . far away.  The boy wore jeans and a well-worn leather jacket.  Todd could only see him from behind.  He seemed to be watching something or someone.  Todd tried to look beyond him.  It seemed as if the boy were standing on a cliff, looking down.  Once again Todd heard Téa's voice saying, "I love you."  Todd snuggled into Goodone.  He smiled and went back into a deep sleep. 

 

If Todd had been able to see the young boy's face, he would have seen the look of longing in his eyes as he watched Adam receiving so much affection.  The young boy couldn't remember what it felt like to be held or hugged.  He didn't know if he ever had been. 

 

"I don't need that kind of crap.  I'm tough!  I don't need no one!  I don't care about no one and I don't give a rat's ass if they care about me.  I'm strong!  They can't hurt me.  None of them can hurt me!   Buchanan is pretending he likes that kid to impress Téa.  He's gonna con her into helping send us back to Statesville.  I won't let Delgado betray us.  I won't let her make a fool out of us or Todd.  I won't let nobody make a fool out of us," the boy whispered to himself.  Anger had replaced the longing in the young boy's eyes.  He hated being made a fool of.  It made him want to lash out and hurt whoever was responsible.  It also made him want to lash out at Todd.  He hated any signs of weakness Todd showed.   Most of all, he hated that Todd felt everything.  He felt it and he felt it intensely.  "That's what gets you hurt and what makes them think they can use you . . . use any part of you . . . do whatever the fuck they want to you," he spat out angrily.

 

The boy's eyes opened wide when he saw Rachel walking down the hall with "his Doctor Hanen," as he thought of her.  "That lying bitch said she cared about us.  She said we were safe here and she'd protect us!  There is no safe place!  Nowhere!  Not one fuckin' place out there is safe.  They all lie.  She's just like the rest of them.  They all pretend they love you and care about you and every fuckin' one of them stands by and does shit while they watch you get hurt.  I'm the one!  I'm the man!  I'm the only one who can protect us and keep us from getting hurt."

 

Téa hugged Adam tightly.  She tickled his tummy one more time.  "Yeaaaah.  Adam's such a good boyyyy.  I love Adam.  I love you."  Téa didn't know what hit her when, in a flash, she felt the "child" in her arms' jump up.  The slippers Téa was wearing fell from her feet as he pulled her up with him. 

 

Before Kevin or anyone had a chance to react, he had Téa held firmly against him.  He dragged them both against a wall.  Téa felt his hands on her head and jaw and his forearm holding her against him. 

 

"Don't move!  Don't you try to get away from me!" he whispered in Téa's ear.

 

Téa didn't need to look into those eyes, filled with rage, to know it was Pete who had hold of her.

 

"I'LL BREAK HER NECK!  I SWEAR I WILL!  IF ANY OF YOU COME NEAR ME, SHE'S DEAD!"

TO BE CONTINUED


Chapter 110

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