PREVIOUSLY

Somehow sensing her thoughts, Bill said to her, "He'll be fine. You have your beeper and the theater is only about ten minutes from here. Even you, Doctor Hanen, are allowed to go on a date without the world being brought to its knees."

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Bill and Susannah sat in the half-empty movie theater, sharing a humongous tub of well-buttered popcorn and a huge box of Junior Mints. At first, Susannah could not get her mind off of Todd. She worried that his head injury could prove to be more serious than originally thought. She worried about the stress the day may have placed on his heart. She was afraid he might wake up and become agitated and need to be medicated. Yes, she left orders for medication, just in case, but what if he needed more?

"I don't believe I heard your beeper go off." Bill whispered.

Susannah knew he could tell her mind was back in Todd's hospital room. Realizing that the staff knew to beep her if there was even the slightest change, Susannah started to relax. Before she knew it, she was enjoying watching Cary Grant getting mistaken for a federal agent and wondering if Grant and Eva Marie-Saint would get together. She then watched attentively as James Stewart's character sits in his wheelchair, his leg in a cast, thinking he may have witnessed a possible murder. The only thing that distracted Susannah was when her hand met Bill's as they both reached into the popcorn at the same time. They both allowed their hands to linger for a moment before casting a quick glance at each other. They were grateful they were in a movie theater. Neither of them wanted to discuss the electricity they felt as their fingers touched. They gathered their things as the rest of the audience prepared to sit back and watch Norman Bates frighten people out of taking showers in motel rooms.

Susannah looked at her watch. It was after eleven. She had been away from the hospital for over five hours.

"So, why don't I wait over here while you call the hospital," Bill said, knowing that was the first thing Susannah wanted to do.

Susannah was not used to having someone be able to read her so well. She had been an enigma to both her parents. As proud as they were of her, they could not understand how she could choose a career over having a family. She was close to them and she loved them dearly, but they really didn't understand her. She called the nurses' station. Sam and Viki were both planning on spending the night. Timmy had been woken up several times and he was as responsive as would be expected given the circumstances. He had received his pain meds and was reasonably comfortable. His vital signs were good. He was tolerating the ice packs. Connie told Susannah that, basically, he has been calm and the couple of times he became upset, Viki or Sam were able to comfort him and get him back to sleep. Susannah knew what Connie was saying was that Susannah's presence was not needed at this time.

"Is he all right?" Bill asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yes, he is still in some pain. That's to be expected. He's okay."

"You would still feel better if you saw that with your own eyes," Bill stated, more than asked.

Looking into his eyes, Susannah admitted, "Yeah, do you mind?"

"Not in the least, you deserve a reward for managing to keep your mind on something else for nearly six hours. I know seeing your young patient is all the reward you want."

"That and a cappuccino and some cheesecake. Why don't we pop over to the hospital and then go to Mario's on South Duke Street? They are open until two and have the best cheesecake in Llanview, guaranteed," Susannah promised.

"I'm going to hold you to that, Doctor Hanen," Bill kidded as they walked to the parking lot.

Timmy was still out when Susannah and Bill got to the hospital. Bill had gone to Todd's room with Susannah to say hello to Sam and Viki. Timmy was awake, but not fully. Viki was holding him while Sam read to him from a Lion King book. Mr. Panda and Mr. Rabbit sat snuggled next to him.

"Hi sweetie, I see you're awake. How are you feeling?" Susannah asked. Timmy shrugged. "Can I get a look at those eyes?" Susannah asked, lifting his head very carefully. His lip was still swollen and painful. "Look at me, Timmy. That's my boy," Susannah praised, as he looked up at her.

"Do Mr. Rabbit. His head hurts, too." Timmy whimpered.

Susannah picked the toy up. "I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well, Mr. Rabbit. Let's have a look." Susannah shone her penlight into Mr. Rabbit's eyes. "Timmy, you are right. Mr. Rabbit definitely has a headache. I think he needs a good night's sleep."

"His hand and mouth hurt, too," Timmy said, sadly.

"Well," Bill announced, reaching into the shopping bag he had brought up from the car with him. "Do you know what I think will help Mr. Rabbit to feel better?" Timmy looked at him and shook his head. "A brand new friend. Do you thing Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda would like to make friends with this bird who came to say hello?" Bill took a colorful stuffed parrot out of the bag.

Timmy couldn't see the toy clearly, but what he saw was enough to make him squeal in delight. "He looks like Moose. Mommy, daddy, look! He's just like Moose."

"He can't say a whole lot of people words like Mr. Panda there, but if you pull this string he can say some parrot words. I don't think he can ask for clam sauce, though." Bill remembered what Timmy told him about Todd's bird.

Timmy took him and hugged him. "I'm gonna call him Moose too, just like Todd's bird because I love Todd's bird." Timmy then introduced him to his other stuffed animal companions. Timmy surprised Bill by holding out his arms for a hug. Bill gently hugged the fragile Timmy. "Thank you, Mr. Jackson. I'll take real good care of him and I won't let him fly away. Mr. Rabbit feels better, too."

"Timmy, you are very welcome," Bill said. He rubbed Timmy's back lightly.

"That was a great choice Bill, thank you," Sam said, patting Bill on the arm.

They looked over at Timmy. He was making the parrot "talk" for Viki and Susannah. After about ten minutes Timmy fell asleep, surrounded by all his stuffed friends.

"Timmy seems to be doing fine, considering all he's been through today. I'll be going for the night. The staff knows to beep me immediately if there's any change. If of you feel there is problem, please call or beep me right away. Okay?" Susannah emphasized the word okay.

"Susannah, please don't worry. You know we wouldn't hesitated to call if we thought there was the slightest thing wrong with him, even if the staff didn't think so." Then whispering, Viki added, "Bill made quite the impression with Timmy. I think he's made quite the impression with you, too."

Susannah smiled and admitted, "Yeah, you can say that."

"I just did." Viki joked, smiling and happy for her friend.

Susannah took one more look at Timmy. She stroked his head tenderly as he slept. She and Bill left and headed for Mario's.

"So that's what was in the shopping bag. I kind of thought it was something for Timmy," Susannah said, sipping her cappuccino.

"If the little fellow was out, I just wanted to try to get his mind off all the pain he's in," Bill replied, between bites of what was definitely the best cheesecake he had ever tasted.

"That you did. Did you see his face when he realized it looked like Todd's parrot?" Susannah asked.

"That was a lucky guess. They had one there with different coloring. I'm glad I picked this one." Bill stated. He reached over and gently turned Susannah's face to the left. "You have juuuust a little bit of cappuccino foam right here." He wiped it away with his index finger.

Susannah felt her entire body tingle at Bill's touch. She looked at him. She knew he felt it, too. She was not ready for this. It was too much and too soon. A part of her wanted to escape back to the sanctity of her lonely existence. Her feelings frightened her. The fear was not sharing her body with someone, but her mind. She was terrified of not giving Todd one hundred percent of her attention. She feared that any distraction would keep her from doing her best for him. She had always felt she had to give most of herself to her patients. She always needed to stay focused on what she had to do to help them. Todd was a patient like no other. Not only because of her love for him and her need to mother him, but because he was so much sicker than anyone she had ever treated before. His case was the most complicated she had ever had, by far. This was not the time to fall down on the job or to allow her personal life to distract her. She knew she needed to stay focused, now more than ever. Bill was a distraction, the likes of which Susannah had never known.

Once again, seemingly able to read her mind, Bill said, "I'm sorry to say that you will be getting rid of me for a couple of days.

Susannah was surprised at the sadness that filled her heart at Bill's words. "Are you going back to Chicago?" She inquired hoping her disappointment didn't show.

"No. I'm going to Washington, D.C. to see an old friend from the force. He's with the FBI now. I'm hoping he can help with the Baker case."

Forgetting her own feelings for now, Susannah, was both happy and apprehensive to know that perhaps Bill might be able to get someone to help do the impossible, find Michelle's family.

�

Bill drove Susannah back to the hospital parking garage so she could get her car. She told him it wasn't necessary, but he insisted on walking her to her car and making sure she drove off safely. "Thank you for the movie. I forgot how great Hitchcock was," Susannah declared as she climbed into the driver�s seat of her car.

"And thank you for what was the best cheesecake I ever tasted. We make a pretty good team, food and entertainment wise," Bill proclaimed as he slowly closed her car door.

"Yes, we do. Don't we?" Susannah admitted. "Call me from Washington." Susannah quickly added, "If you find out anything."

"Oh, I think I might just be able to muster up a phone call even if I don't. Goodnight, Doctor Hanen. Sleep tight." Bill watched as Susannah's car turned the corner. He knew the one thing he could do for her that would mean more than anything was to clear Todd of any suspicion that he killed Michelle. Bill also knew he would not rest until he did. He headed back to his room to pack for Washington.

Timmy remained out and stable through the night. They were able to get him back to sleep every time he woke up. Sam and Viki took turns sleeping in the family lounge. Timmy's mouth and head pain had eased a little by morning, but his wrist was still very painful. The compression bandage did nothing to alleviate the pain. He still had to be on medication. Viki tried to get him to eat some breakfast or at least drink a chocolate shake, but not only was his stomach upset, his lip hurt too much to even tolerate a straw.

Kevin had been very upset to hear what happened to Timmy. He and Cassie had gotten into an argument over some extremely nasty things he said about Dorian. Cassie could not really disagree with her mother about Blair seeking sole custody of Starr. Of course, Cassie was upset with Dorian for thinking of tricking Todd when he was so sick, but she still did not want to hear Kevin putting her mother down the way he did.

Viki had not gone into details over the phone, so Kevin did not really know the whole story. He did know that Grandpa Victor had visited Todd when he was two. "I know I shouldn't be surprised that Grandpa Victor did what he did, but I am. How could he walk away from Todd knowing he was being abused?" Kevin asked Viki, after he had arrived at the hospital.

"I don't know, Kevin. I just don't know. I realize that had Father raised Todd he might have ended up being abused anyway, but not to the extreme that he was," Viki theorized. She noticed a sad laugh coming out of Kevin's mouth. She realized what he was laughing at. "A pretty sad irony, isn't it?" Viki confirmed.

"Yeah mom, it is. It seems no matter who Todd would have been raised by his life would have been hell."

Susannah entered the unit and headed in Viki and Kevin's direction. "I spoke with Terry and she said Timmy was doing fine, except for experiencing a lot of wrist pain."

"Yes," Viki acknowledged. "He was medicated about an hour ago and he's feeling better. Sam is with him."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you," Susannah said to Kevin.

"Yeah, poor little guy. He just can't catch a break. Can I go in now?" Kevin was anxious to see Timmy.

"Just give me a few minutes to examine him. I know he will get excited when he sees you and I want to check him out first," Susannah explained and headed for Timmy's room.

Some cartoons were on, but Timmy eyes were closed as he sat on the bed, leaning back against Sam. "Is he asleep?" Susannah whispered.

Timmy's eyes opened and he announced, "I'm imaginating the cartoons 'cause it makes me feel funny to look at them."

Sam kissed the top of Timmy's head and explained, "His vision is still off and he gets dizzy when he looks at the TV."

"Sweetie, I need to have a look at your eyes, okay?" Susannah checked his pupils. They were fine. His vision seemed a little better, but was not all there yet. His lungs were clear and his vitals normal, for him. Susannah knew he was scheduled for some blood work later and did not look forward to the struggle she knew Timmy would put up. "Timmy, is your wrist hurting a lot?"

He shook his head.

Susannah was satisfied that he was on the right amount of painkillers. "Sweetie, can you open your mouth for me so I can look at your lip?"

Timmy put is good hand up over his mouth and in a muffled voice whimpered, "No, it'll hurt."

"I promise I won't do anything to make it hurt. I just want to look."

"Nooo," Timmy cried.

"Come on, Timmy, you know if Doctor Hanen says it won't hurt then it won't," Sam coaxed as he stroked Timmy's hair.

Timmy slowly took his hand away from his mouth and opened it. Susannah, being as careful and as gentle as could be, pulled his lower lip down slightly and saw that the sutures were okay and there was no problem. "Okay, sweetie, that's it. You've been a very brave boy. Now, I have a surprise for you. Kevin is outside and he can't wait to see you."

"KEVIN! I wanna see Kevin," Timmy shouted happily.

"I'll go get him," Susannah promised and left the room. She and Viki headed for the cafeteria for some coffee, knowing Sam was going to be there with Kevin, in case of a problem.

"Hey, how's my bestest friend in the whole world doing?" Kevin asked, with a big smile, even though his heart was aching at the sight of Timmy's bruises. Timmy held out his arms for a hug. Kevin hesitated for a moment because Timmy looked so fragile he was afraid of hurting him.

"Are you mad at me?" Timmy asked with tears already forming in his eyes.

"Oh Timmy, no. No way. You're my best buddy. I was just afraid I'd make it hurt more if I hugged you." Kevin explained to him honestly. Kevin took Timmy in his arms being extremely careful not to hold him too tightly.

"Look! My hand and my head and mouth got hurt. Doctor Hanen said I falled down. I have to keep my hand on the pillow so it will get better."

"I see. Is it hurting you a lot now?" Kevin probed.

"Uh uh," Timmy shook his head. "Kevin guess what? Sam is my daddy now."

Kevin looked up at Sam questioningly.

"I explained to Timmy and to Andy how proud I am of them and how much I love them and how I would love to be their father," Sam explained.

"See, Sam's our daddy and you and Andy are gonna teach me how to play baseball and football good so daddy won't hate me."

"Sam would never, ever hate you no matter what," Kevin assured Timmy before Sam had a chance to. He then said, "I just know you're going to be a very, very good ball player someday."

"You do?" Timmy took him literally. "How do you know?"

"A little bird told me," Kevin said, smiling.

"I almost forgot, Kevin look! Doctor Hanen's friend, Mr. Jackson, got me a friend for Mr. Panda and Mr. Rabbit," Timmy held up the stuffed bird.

"Wow! He looks just like a real parrot," Kevin exclaimed as he looked at the toy.

"He looks like Moose, so that's what I'm gonna call him."

"Yeah, you're right. He does look like Moose."

"You knowed Moose?" Timmy asked, surprised.

"I sure did. He used to come and visit Viki sometime, remember?" Timmy shook his head. "Well, he did. And this bird looks just like him. So I think Moose is a perfect name for him."

Timmy smiled and asked Kevin, "Can you take me to the playroom?" Kevin looked at Sam, who was shaking his head no.

Wanting to get Kevin off the spot, Sam suggested, "I think we can go to the chair today, pal. I'll bet Kevin can bring you some toys from the playroom. Maybe even some paints from the art room? How about that?" Timmy hung his head down.

"Hey buddy," Kevin sat next to Timmy and put his arm around Timmy's shoulders, "that sounds like a really good idea to me. We can get our fun delivered right here to your room. I know, why don't I go to the playroom and see what I can bring to you and then we can make a list of what you'd like to play with."

"I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE!"

Kevin immediately knew this wasn't Timmy's voice. Sam stepped to the door to make sure Jeff, the tech who was posted outside, had Susannah paged. Sam quickly stepped back to the bed and made the introductions. "Kevin, this is Thomas. Thomas is eight years old."

Thomas pulled away from Kevin. "Who are you?" He asked, just a touch of fear in his voice.

"My name is Kevin Buchanan. Viki is my mom."

Thomas looked confused. "You're not a little boy?"

"No. Grownups can have moms and dads, too," Kevin explained.

"My mama used to have a daddy, but he went to heaven. Grandpa Ed doesn't live in heaven. He lives in Florida," Thomas announced seriously, making both Kevin and Sam laugh.

Thomas started to get out of bed. "Whoa, Boomer. Hold it," Sam cautioned. He grabbed Thomas' shoulders from behind. "You can't get out of bed yet. Maybe when Doctor Hanen comes she can see if you're well enough to go to the chair."

"I want to go outside and ride my bicycle!" Thomas stated firmly. He was getting angry again. He tried to pull away from Sam. Sam noticed that Thomas was pushing up on his bad hand. He was not feeling the pain that a movement like that must be causing. Sam was afraid Thomas would do further damage to Todd's wrist.

Kevin stood in front of Thomas, blocking his way off the bed, just in case. Jeff entered the room, followed by Terry, Frank, Marcia and Carl. Thomas looked at them nervously.

"Boomer, I want you to relax now and stop pushing against your left wrist. See, there's a bandage on it. It was hurt yesterday and even though you don't feel it, you can't put pressure on it."

"It's not my wrist. It's Todd's and I don't care. I want to go outside."

Susannah and Viki came in. Hearing the last thing he said, they knew it was Thomas.

"Hi, honey," Susannah called out. She rushed over to him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I want to go outside! I want to play on the hill and ride my bicycle. I don't care if Todd is sick again. You're not my mama. I don't have to listen. I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE!"

Kevin tried. "Thomas, I was just telling Timmy that I can go to the playroom and find out which toys I can bring in here. How would you like that? Or I can go to the art room and get some stuff to paint with," Kevin suggested, trying to appease him.

"I don't like to draw!" Thomas said, angrily.

"That's all right, honey. You don't have to draw. How about if we get you to the chair? Would you like to go to the chair?" Susannah asked.

"Can I go outside later?" Thomas pressed.

"No, honey. You still won't be well enough later," Susannah hating to say no to him.

"Not me. Todd!" Thomas pointed out with more sadness in his voice than anger. He turned to Kevin and made sure to explain, "There's nothing wrong with my body. I'm not sick and hurt. Todd is. It's his fault I can't do anything."

"Hey, but you know what ,Thomas?" Kevin began. "I know Doctor Hanen and everyone is working really hard to get Todd's body well, so someday it will be as strong as yours again and then you both can do what you like."

"Really?" Thomas asked.

"Really. Now why don't we get you to the chair? Is that all right?" Kevin looked in Susannah's direction.

"Sure. Why don't you and Sam help him, just be careful of his wrist?"

"My wrist don't hurt. I told Sam that already," Thomas reminded them in a slightly annoyed tone. Then under his breath he muttered, "I know, 'cause Todd's dumb old wrist is hurt."

Smiling, Susannah instructed, "Okay. Kevin why don't you take his left arm and Sam, you come around on this side and take his right. Is that okay with you Thomas?"

He nodded.

Viki's heart was breaking as she watched her brother having to wait to be helped up just to go from the bed to a chair. As soon as Sam and Kevin each had one of Thomas' arms, he tried to get up and felt his legs give way under him. Sam had expected it, but Kevin was shocked at how weak Todd's body really was. He did not lose his grip on him.

Thomas was left frightened and frustrated by his inability to stand. "It's okay, buddy, we got you. You won't fall," Kevin assured him.

Thomas tried to pull away. "I HATE TODD'S BODY! I DON'T WANT TO BE IN IT ANYMORE! I HATE HIM AND I HATE YOU AND I HATE YOU!" Thomas directed his words at Sam and Kevin.

"Lower him to the bed," Susannah instructed. "Thomas, I know it is very scary to find out your body won't do what you want it to. Honey, you and Todd and everyone will get stronger and be able to do what you want. Just not for a little while."

Tears poured down Thomas' face. "Tom's body hurt, too. I should have come out. Then the teacher wouldn't have called mama."

"Honey, can you tell me about it?" Susannah pressed.

"Daddy hurt Timmy's and Tom's behind and it hurt for them to sit in school. Tom was out. Mrs. Montgomery asked why he was fidgeting and not sitting still. She asked Tom to wait during recess. She asked him how his face got hurt. Tom liked her a lot and didn't want to lie to her, but he did and he said he fell down the stairs. She said, 'Todd, you can tell me the truth, did someone hurt you?' Tom started to cry. He said no, he fell down,"

Susannah could see Thomas was starting to get agitated. "What happened then honey?" Susannah asked, gently stroking his head.

Thomas pulled away from her touch. However, he continued to tell what he remembered. "I came out and said, 'really, I fall off my new bicycle a lot.' Mrs. Montgomery called mama to come to the school to talk to her anyway. Daddy don't like it when mama leaves the house or talks to people. He's gonna get real mad."

Did mama come to talk to your teacher?" Susannah pushed. Thomas nodded. "Do you know what she and the teacher said to each other?"

"No. Mrs. Montgomery made me wait outside while she talked to mama."

Did she ask to talk to you again, when she was finished with Mama?" Susannah continued as long as he continued to stay calm.

"Mama called me in and said, 'Todd, tell Mrs. Montgomery that daddy and I would never hurt you.' Mama looked scared. I told my teacher again that I fell down. Mama said, 'I'm afraid Todd is not the most graceful child. He tends to be a little clumsy and falls down a lot.' Mrs. Montgomery asked if that was true and I said yes. I hate her thinking I'm clumsy. I'm not! I can ride my bicycle with no hands and I can skate down the hill and do somersaults and I'm the best one in gym. I can climb the ropes higher than anyone and run almost as fast as Andy."

"You sound angry because mama told your teacher you were clumsy, when it wasn't true." Susannah reflected.

"It's not fair! I want to say that daddy hurts everyone, but then I'll get sent away too!" Thomas spoke angrily.

"Who got sent away?" Susannah asked, even though she was pretty sure he was referring to Andy.

"Mrs. Montgomery's not my favorite teacher anymore. She upset mama." Thomas stated, not answering Susannah's question.

"Honey, aren't you even a little angry with mama for telling Mrs. Montgomery that you are clumsy?"

"NO! I'm never angry at mama. I love mama."

"You can love someone and still be angry with them," Susannah explained.

"NO! NO! NO! I'M NOT MAD AT MAMA!" Thomas screamed. He covered his ears to try to shut out what Susannah had to say.

Kevin put his arm around Thomas' shoulder. "Hey Thomas, take it easy. Everything is all right." Thomas' head lowered and his eyes blinked a few times.

"Why the hell don't you just leave the kid alone?"

"Pete?" Susannah asked.

"Yeah. He was right to be angry at that stupid bitch. She stuck her nose in where it didn't belong. I wasn't there, but I know the type." Pete then realized someone was holding him. He turned and saw Kevin. "BUCHANAN! What the hell do you think you're doing? Get your Goddamn hands off of me." Pete pulled away as Kevin took his arm off of Pete's shoulder. Kevin was shocked. This one sounded like Todd at his worst. "What are you doing here, Buchanan? Are you jealous that mommy is spending too much time here so you figured you'd come and get your share of attention?"

Pete had been out for all of a minute and he was already pushing Kevin's buttons. Kevin tried to stay calm. "Pete, I guess we've met, but I didn't know it was you. I thought you were Todd."

"Well, Kevie, I never did accuse you of being the brightest bulb in the box. I know why you're here. You think I did it don't you? What? Did Asa send you here? Or was it Bo?" Kevin just stared at Pete. He had no idea what he was talking about. "What the hell are you staring at, Kevie? You think I don't know what you're up to? You think that because I'm locked away here. I can't still use The Sun to show the world what you and every other stinking Buchanan is like. How's Nurse Barbara, Kevie? Huh! How is she, underwear boy? Maybe I can get Blair to do a story about you two. I can just see Cassie reading the story with her morning coffee."

Kevin was trying to stay calm. He could not believe that some of the old feelings he had for Todd were surfacing again. He knew he needed to get out of there.

"Pete, Kevin has been very good with Timmy and even Thomas. He cares very much about you," Viki explained, trying to calm Pete down.

"There's only one thing Kevin or any damn Buchanan wants and that's to see us rot in prison. Isn't that right, Kevin? Isn't that what you're doing here? Trying to get the dirt on us. It's not gonna work. Oh, I know you're sorry you didn't blow Todd's brains out when you had the chance. Aren't you? Aren't you! Go ahead. Admit it. ADMIT IT, BUCHANAN!" Pete started laughing. "Oh yeah, I remember the look on your face when you held that gun to Todd's head. You hated yourself for being the gutless wonder that you were. Why don't you try it now? You could sneak in here someday when mommy's not around. DO IT! You'd be doing Todd the biggest favor of his life. You'd be doing all of us a favor. I'm glad you know who I am now. You know you can't mess with me. You tell them. YOU TELL THEM!"

Kevin was afraid to say anything. He did not want what he was feeling for Todd and Pete right now to escape his lips.

"Pete, whom do you want Kevin to tell?" Susannah asked.

"All of them. Asa, Clint, Bo, every fucking Buchanan on the face of the earth. They did this. They got us in here. Do you think I don't know that? DO YOU? Sam, he did it. You know that, he and his whole Goddamn family. You dig deep enough and you'll find out they're the reason we are locked up here. The Buchanan's did this to us. And Kevie is the ringleader. I HATE ALL OF YOU! I WISH YOU WERE ALL DEAD! YOU DID THIS KEVIN! YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY. YOU DID THIS TO US!"

"NO, PETE WE DIDN'T DO THIS TO YOU. YOUR FATHER DID! HE'S THE ONE YOU SHOULD HATE! HE'S THE ONE WHO HURT YOU AND HURT YOUR FRIEND. NOT MY FAMILY," Kevin shouted. He could see by the look of panic on Pete's face that he should have kept his emotions in check.

"HE'S NOT MY FATHER! HE'S NOT MY FATHER! HE NEVER HURT ME! YOU MORON! YOU KNOW THAT HE'S NOT MY FATHER. YOU CAN'T HURT ME. NO ONE CAN. I'D NEVER LET HIM HURT ME OR ANYONE HURT ME. I'M TOO STRONG! TELL HIM, SAM. TELL HIM. TELL HIM! TELL HIM!" Pete was gasping for breath.

"Pete, it's all right. Kevin knows Peter wasn't your father," Sam tried to calm him. He was terrified that Pete was hurting Todd's body.

"Kevin, I think you should leave now. Honey, please, wait for me outside," Viki ordered. She was also afraid that Pete's fury was causing harm to Todd's body.

Kevin started to leave. Pete reached out and grabbed Kevin's arm. "I didn't do it," Pete whispered, almost to himself. "I DIDN'T DO IT! AND YOU!" Pete was now screaming again and looking in Sam's direction as he continued to hold on to Kevin. "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR LAWYER. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT US. YOU NEVER DID AND YOU NEVER WILL. YOU LET HIM COME IN HERE SO HE COULD WRITE A STORY THAT WILL SEND US BACK TO JAIL!" Pete was becoming more agitated by the second.

Susannah and Viki could see the hurt in Sam's eyes. Sam knew Pete was referring to him not saving them from Peter. Sam got a grip on himself and put his hand on Pete's shoulder. Pete pulled away. "Boomer, listen to me."

"Save that shit for Tom. Don't call me Boomer."

"All right. Pete, Kevin is not going to hurt you. That is not why he's here. Kevin cares very much about you, about Todd and Timmy and all of you." Sam tried to reason with him.

Pete got very quiet and then in a very low voice said, "He got to you didn't he Sam?"

"Who got to Sam?" Susannah pressed.

"Kevin, him and all the Buchanan�s! How much did they pay you Sam? I can double it. Hell, I can triple it. Or is it more than money. What did they do? Promise you Nora?"

Susannah could see by the look on Sam and Viki's face that Pete had managed to push everyone's buttons. No one was left unscathed. Pete looked around at all of them. He already noticed that he couldn't see clearly and that he felt very odd. He felt much weaker than even the last time he was out. He never felt like that before. He was feeling trapped and conspired against. He suddenly said, "I'm outta here." He stood up so quickly that they didn't have a chance to grab for him and he fell to his knees. Pete wasn't hurt, physically, but he was stunned and terrified by his inability to stand. He knew that something even worse had happened to Todd's body than the last time he was out. Pete closed his eyes for a second and tried with all his might to push "his own" body out. When he realized he couldn't, he started to panic.

Susannah and the staff moved closer to Pete. "Are you hurt?" Susannah asked, kneeling down to Pete.

"Nothing hurts me you dumb bitch. Leave me alone."

"I can't do that, Pete. I have to make sure you didn't hurt yourself." Susannah calmly informed him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Pete screamed at her.

"Pete, come on, let me help you up," Kevin said gently, realizing that it was also Timmy's body down on the floor, he put his hand on Pete's arm.

"Kevin, don't," Susannah warned.

Pete pulled away from Kevin, almost falling over in the process. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, BUCHANAN! I DON'T NEED HELP FROM YOU AND I DON'T NEED YOUR GODDAMN PITY. GET AWAY! GET AWAY! I HATE YOU! GET AWAY! DON'T ANY OF YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS ON ME!"

"Pete, if you show us you can stay safe we won't have to touch you." Susannah calmly informed him.

Pete gasped. He then whispered. "You're all in on it. Even you Viki and you," Pete pointed to Susannah. "And I'm supposed to trust you? That's a joke! You let him come in here to laugh at me. You all let him come here to find out things about me so he can send me to jail." Pete was getting even more panicky because he was having a hard time catching his breath. He kept trying to stand and kept falling down again. He was pushing hard against his sprained wrist.

"Pete, you have to stop pushing on your wrist and stop trying to get up. If you can't stay safe we will help you." Frank stated firmly.

The sight of the staff coming closer to him completed the panic Pete was in. As adrenaline pumped through his veins, he was able to muster the strength that the others could not. He tried to grab on to the bed to pull himself up.

Susannah knew he was doing more damage to his wrist. She could tell from the way he was breathing that this was putting a strain on his heart. As much as she hated to do it she quickly assigned limbs and ordered a restraint. Even though Pete was extremely weak, it took six staff members to stabilize him in the restraint.

Pete continued to struggle. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME! I HATE YOU! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT, BUCHANAN? IS THIS ENOUGH FOR YOU? ARE YOU GETTING OFF SEEING ME LIKE THIS? WE DIDN'T DO IT! YOU STUPID BASTARD. WE DIDN'T DO IT! WE DIDN'T KILL HER. YOU THOUGHT TODD RAPED THAT NURSE AND HE DIDN'T DO THAT. WE DIDN'T KILL GEORGIE! WE DIDN'T KILL GEORGIE AND WE DIDN'T KILL MICHELLE. WE DIDN'T! WE DIDN'T!" Pete shrieked, as he struggled to take a deep breath. It was intolerable to him that Kevin Buchanan was seeing him like this. That Kevin, of all people, was seeing him so vulnerable. Pete felt he was trapped and at the mercy of a Buchanan.

Susannah gave Terry the go ahead to inject a powerful sedative into the IV.

"NOOOO!" Pete screamed when he saw the syringe in Terry's hand. "NO! NO! NOOOOO! SAM! SAM! MAKE HER STOP! MAKE HER STOP! SAM, HELP ME! I DON'T WANT DRUGS. NO! NO DRUGS. NO DRUGS! STOOOOP! SAM, GODDAMN IT. STOP HER! SAAAAAM!" Pete was gasping for breath.

Sam bent down to where they held Pete on the floor. "Pete, I swear to you. No one is going to hurt you or Todd or do anything bad to you. The medicine is going to help you calm down so you won't hurt yourself. Relax, pal. It's going to be okay."

Pete tried to free himself from the hold he was in but could not move. He saw Terry inject the medication into the IV that was connected to Todd's arm. "NOOOO! YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DIIIIIIID!" Pete howled in protest. Then he started to laugh. "Viki, oh Viki, you must really hate your brother." You're just like the rest of them. You want to destroy him. You want to leave him and let them hurt him. You're just like the rest of them. Just like them. Just like them." Pete's voice was low. His words were becoming slurred.

The medication quickly traveled through Pete's bloodstream and to his brain. It was starting to kick in, inducing sleep. Pete truly believed that if he let the medicine put him to sleep he would wake up in Statesville. Pete was no longer able to fight it. He looked at the blurred vision of Kevin Buchanan in front of him. He knew that Kevin was finally going to get back at him. He knew the he couldn't trust Sam or Doctor Hanen or even Viki. They had all conspired to get him and to get Todd. He felt his muscles relaxing and someone taking his pulse. He felt himself being lifted onto the bed, and felt a blood pressure cuff being put around his upper right arm. All he could see were distorted figures and a gray fog surrounding them. He tried to lift his head, but couldn't. He heard their voices around him, but couldn't tell who was speaking; they were starting to fade away. In his last second of consciousness, Pete saw Saber standing over him, laughing at him. His last waking feeling was terror.

Todd's heart rate was starting to slow down. His breathing was easing up slightly. His oxygen saturation was a little low. Susannah ordered some oxygen for him. Sam, Viki and Kevin all had the same shocked look on their faces. Only Kevin was feeling something Sam and Viki were not. He was feeling disgust, in himself, disgust for what he was feeling, for the anger against Todd that had so quickly come to the surface. He could not believe it was still so alive in him. He felt that he had in some way betrayed Timmy.

Susannah noticed the swelling had increased in Todd's wrist and ordered some more ice packs be applied. She was concerned. Pete had pushed Todd's body beyond its limit.

Sam and Viki were sitting in the waiting area outside Todd's room. They both could see how upset Kevin was. "Honey, listen to me," Viki said to her son, "I know that Pete made you furious with him and that frightens you."

"Mom, you don't know. For a moment, for just one moment," Kevin began, his head hanging in shame, "when he started talking about Barbara and Cassie, I wasn't just angry with him. I hated him. Just like I used to. I hated him, mom. I know that was Pete. But somewhere in that poor sick and broken body is also Timmy. How can I hate Pete without hating Timmy? Look what I did to him. I should have gotten out of there as soon as I realized it was Pete. I just couldn't. Something drew me to him. I had to stay there and hear him out. I had to let him show me that I still have that hate inside me. I know that he is sick and can't help what he did and said in there, but what about me? What's my excuse? Did you see him at the end? He could hardly breathe. God only knows what he was thinking when he went out. He really believed that we want to send him to jail. Not only did I blow my relationship with him, but yours and Sam's and Susannah's as well. He may never trust any of you again."

Viki's heart broke for the guilt she knew Kevin would be carrying with him. She knew what that felt like. So did Sam who could not forget Pete's words, "You're supposed to protect us. You never did and you never will." Sam knew that at least half that statement was true. He knew that as much as Todd and the alters trusted him and depended on him and even loved him, there were parts of Todd that knew the truth. Sam had betrayed Todd's trust. He did not protect him. 'Todd might not be in the trouble he is in now if I had protected him.' Sam thought

Susannah walked over to where Todd's family sat, each carrying a heavy burden. "He's better. His heart rate is nearly normal and he's getting some oxygen to help him a little. He'll be all right. He doesn't even realize how much time has passed since last summer. I don't think he has any idea that it is nearly February. He may think it is still a short time after Todd took you hostage," Susannah explained to Kevin.

"Why was he so short of breath?" Viki asked.

"Because his heart is not one hundred percent. He's weak and he's been in bed. This was very strenuous for him. He'll rest and then he'll be all right. He is not in danger of an arrest if that is what you're worried about. His electrolytes have been fine over the last few days." Susannah tried her best not to make Kevin feel guilty, but it was too late for that.

"Oh God, mom. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I am like them." Viki took Kevin in her arms and stroked his head.

"Like whom, Kevin? Like Victor and Peter?" Susannah pushed.

"Yes," Kevin answered in a broken voice.

"Oh, sweetheart, no. No! You are nothing like them. Pete provoked you. We know that," Viki attempted to comfort her son.

"He did, Kevin. He was trying to get to all of us. He was in a rage. It wasn't your fault." Sam also tried to offer comfort.

"Yes, he tried to get to all of us, but I was the only one who screamed at him and brought up his father. Stupid, stupid!" Kevin hit his right palm against his forehead.

"Kevin, don't." Viki held on to Kevin's hand.

"No, mom. I should have known not to bring up Peter or Michelle. He is sick and I yelled at him. My God! What if he. . . ." Kevin couldn't complete his thought. He knew Viki was already terrified for Todd.

"Kevin. Todd is all right. He is being monitored very closely." Susannah stated firmly.

"Is that why he needed to be given oxygen?" Kevin's tone was sarcastic.

"Kevin, Todd was short of breath. That's all. He is not in immediate danger. He is weak and this day was just too much for him." Susannah turned to Viki and asked, "Would you feel better if I had a cardiologist check him out? I'm sure Doctor Williams will confirm that he is no worse."

"Susannah, I would. Just as a precaution," Viki answered.

"So would I," Sam added.

Susannah went to the nurses' station and called Doctor Williams. "He'll be here in a few minutes," Susannah informed them.

"Susannah, do you think Timmy could hear what I said to Pete?" Kevin asked.

"I don't think Timmy was listening. He was probably happy to be inside where he could run and play to his heart's content," Susannah theorized.

"Maybe you should find a way to keep Timmy inside always? Why should he have to suffer so out here?" Kevin suggested sadly.

"Kevin, I cannot keep any of them from never coming out again. For the most part, Timmy comes out when he is needed. It is not always a choice on his end. Sometimes he comes out because he wants to be with you or Viki or Sam or me, but usually he is pushed out. Most of the children are pushed out. They don't choose to be here."

Kevin understood what Susannah explained, but he still wished that Timmy and the other children could stay where they were safe and happy and healthy, even though he knew it would kill him to never see his beloved little Timmy again.

Viki was remembering a story she once told Timmy about a place where the children could spend the rest of their life playing in the sun. A place where they were never afraid and no one could ever hurt them again. How she wished there was such a place and that she could take Timmy and all the other sick frightened and hurt children there, so they never would have to suffer again.

Susannah went back in to Todd's room. Sam, Viki and Kevin sat in the waiting area. They all sat silently, each lost in their own thoughts, waiting for Doctor Williams to assure them that Todd was all right.

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter 62

COPYRIGHT 1999 RS/RHFC