PREVIOUSLY

They all filed back into Todd's room, leaving Dorian standing outside. She was thoroughly shaken by what she had seen. Dorian, went back to the chair she had been sitting in and put her hand over her eyes. 'My God!' she thought. 'What are they doing to him? He looks like he's dying.'

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Dorian sat quietly outside of Todd's room. She watched as nurses, doctors, and technicians came and went. Viki, Sam and Susannah did not come out. Occasionally, when the door opened, she heard Timmy crying or Viki, Sam or Susannah's voice trying to comfort him. Sometimes there was just silence. Dorian felt horrible about what had happened. She reasoned that she certainly did not cry out and startle everyone on purpose, but she also knew that she shouldn't have been there. She looked down at her purse and remembered her reason for being near Todd's room in the first place. Dorian knew that Blair would be furious if she found out what she had been planning.

Now that she was thinking more rationally, Dorian realized that even if she had gotten Todd or an alter to sign away Todd's parental rights it never would have held up in court. Not in the condition Todd was in. Dorian could not shake the image of Todd from her mind. True, she never liked him. In fact, at times, she hated him, but she never would have wished this on him. She certainly would never dream of hurting that pitiful child she saw. A vision of the hurt and terrified Timmy passed through her brain. Dorian shook her head and thought. 'Sweetheart, I hope you're going to be all right.'

Inside Todd's room Timmy lay in the bed dazed, confused and frightened. He wasn't sure what had happened and who the strangers in the room with him were. Susannah didn't want to sedate him until the neurologist assessed him. He was in a lot of pain. They did their best to comfort him.

Viki had angrily accused the staff of not doing their job, by letting a stranger so close to Todd's room. "For God's sake! Didn't you see her sitting there! You know people aren't allowed to go wandering around this unit!"

They all felt terrible, but explained to Viki that Dorian was questioned and since she was on the approved visitor's list she was allowed onto the unit. They further explained that since Dorian had showed up an hour before she was due, the woman Viki had spoken with went on an early break to make sure she would be back by the time Dorian arrived. The tech that was manning the nurses station west, when Dorian arrived, was not aware that she was not allowed past the family lounge. She only knew that she was an approved visitor. The tech had called the nurses' station near Todd's room and since Viki had not mentioned anything to Terry about Dorian not coming near Todd, she had given her approval. Terry felt horrible and accepted responsibility. She told Viki if she wanted her off Todd's case, she would understand.

Viki calmed down and realized she never mentioned anything to Terry and that she should have. Viki apologized to her.

Timmy had thrown up again and was very weak. He was dizzy and his vision was blurred. His wrist and lip were hurting. Doctor Anderson was the first to arrive. He assessed Timmy as best as he could. Timmy was too terrified to stay calm. Sam held Timmy's head and tried to comfort him as four other staff members held him still while Doctor Anderson checked him out.

He agreed with Susannah's diagnosis. Timmy had a concussion. He told them that unless things start to get worse he didn't feel putting Timmy through a CT scan or an MRI was necessary. He told Susannah that it was all right to sedate him, but that he had to be watched very closely.

Timmy was asleep by the time x-ray showed up. His wrist was not broken, but it was badly sprained. Doctor Wolpen, the orthopedist, told them to continue the ice packs and to keep it elevated and then to apply a compression bandage. Timmy's lip required three sutures. Sam and Viki looked down at their injured child. Their hearts were breaking.

Susannah stepped out to go to the nurses station. She was surprised to see Dorian still sitting there. She approached Dorian. "Mrs. Hayes you really should not be here. I'm sure that whatever Viki wanted to see you about will have to wait. She is very upset over what happened to Timmy."

"How old is he?" Dorian asked.

"Timmy?" Susannah wanted to be sure whom Dorian was asking about.

"Yes," Dorian answered.

"Timmy is four years old. Today was the first day he tried walking since he went into cardiac arrest last week. He has had a very hard time of it lately and so has his family. They don't need to be upset any more than they already are," Susannah explained coldly.

"I'm not sure if you are aware of it, but Viki asked me to come here today," Dorian pointed out.

"Yes, I know. I also know you were supposed to wait for her in the family lounge on the West side of the unit."

'Well'," Dorian thought, "Doctor Hanen doesn't pull any punches, does she?" "I'm sorry, for what happened. I was shocked to see how bad Todd looked. What is wrong with him, I mean beside the DID?" Dorian pressed for information.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Hayes. I cannot discuss Todd's condition in detail with you without Viki's consent," Susannah stated.

"Can you at least tell me if he's going to be all right from the fall?"

Susannah studied Dorian's face. She saw her concern was genuine. "Yes, he will be all right. He has a mild concussion and a sprained wrist. His lip needed three stitches."

"Is he in much pain? I don't hear him crying anymore," Dorian observed.

"Timmy has been sedated," Susannah replied.

"Doctor Hanen, I don't mean to tell you your business, but is that advisable with head trauma?" Dorian asked.

"Timmy was not given a narcotic. His level of consciousness was assessed before any sedation was used. It was the lessor of two evils. Timmy could not stay calm or quiet on his own."

"I see, I'm sorry. Of course, you know best," Dorian admitted. She then stood up and announced, "I will be going now. Please tell Viki I'm sorry. She can call me when she is ready to talk."

"That won't be necessary, Dorian. I'm ready now," Viki called out as she came out of Todd's room.

"I was just heading for the nurses' station to apologize to Terry again," Viki told Susannah. She turned to Dorian. "Why are you still here, Dorian?" Viki looked daggers in Dorian's direction.

"I wanted to make sure he was all right," Dorian answered, defensively.

"Well, as you can plainly see he is not all right. He may never be all right. Does that make your day! Do you take joy in that, Dorian!"

Dorian tried to stay calm. "No, Viki, I don't. We both know Todd is not my favorite person, but . . ."

"Not your favorite person!" Viki interrupted, in a mocking tone. "You hate him! You always did. You will do anything to take his child away from him."

"Viki, I won't argue that with you right now." Dorian took a deep breath and continued. "I can assure you that I would never have wanted this for Todd. I would never have hurt that poor little boy."

"What were you doing here so early, Dorian! Why didn't you just stay put in the family lounge! I asked you to do that! I knew that if you came anywhere near Todd something bad would happen. Something bad happens whenever you come near anyone!"

Susannah could see that Dorian was more hurt than angry by what Viki just said. "Viki, why don't you go back in with Timmy. Dorian was just about to leave and I know that Terry understands and she is not upset with you," Susannah suggested, trying her best to keep everyone calm.

"No! I want to speak with Dorian as long as she is here. Why should what happened to Timmy today be for nothing?" Viki asked bitterly.

"Mrs. Hayes, is that all right with you?" Susannah asked.

Dorian thought about it for a moment and agreed, "Yes, that will be all right."

"I can stay here with you both, if you prefer," Susannah offered.

"We'll be fine," Both Viki and Dorian said at the same time. They looked at each other. Each slightly embarrassed by any similarities between them.

"Dorian and I will be in the visitors' lounge down the hall," Viki informed Susannah.

"All right. I'll be in with Timmy if you need me," Susannah told them and headed for Todd's room.

"Viki, I am truly sorry about what happened with Timmy. I never meant to frighten anyone. It was just that he looked so . . ." Dorian was searching for the right words.

"So awful. So sick! Don't you think I see that, Dorian?" Viki admitted. Tears came to her eyes.

Seeing that, Dorian felt a lump in her own throat begin. "Viki, I know you feel this is none of my business, but we are family. What in God's name is wrong with him? Blair told me about the DID, and that he had pneumonia a couple of months ago, but what is wrong with him! He's wasting away. He is so incredibly pale. Is he anemic?"

"Yes," Viki answered as tears poured down her cheeks. "He is anemic. His heart has weakened. His electrolytes are all messed up. He is in a deep depression and he and most of the alters won't eat."

"Most of them?" Dorian pressed.

"Todd has twenty alters that we know of. Most of them are very young children. There Dorian, is that enough misery to satisfy even you? Todd is suffering every minute of his life. He is in constant pain, mentally and physically. Are you happy now?"

"Viki, I know you won't believe this, but I am not enjoying seeing Todd this way. I am very, very sorry that sweet little Timmy got hurt."

Perhaps it was hearing Timmy's name come from Dorian's lips or the inhuman amount of stress that Viki had been under. Viki started to sob uncontrollably. She put her face in her hands and the tears poured through her fingers.

Awkwardly, Dorian put her arm around Viki's shoulder. "Viki, I am familiar with mental illness you know. I know the pain of watching a loved one suffer. What is Todd's prognosis?"

Viki calmed down a little and lifted her head. She wiped away some of her tears with her fingers. Dorian took a handkerchief from her purse and handed it to Viki. Viki gratefully accepted it. "Susannah still believes she can successfully integrated him," Viki informed Dorian.

"Blair, mentioned that Todd was abused, quite severely, by his adopted father," Dorian acknowledged.

"Dorian, you could never imagine. Todd was tortured every day of his life from the day Peter adopted him."

"Even when his mother was still around?" Dorian was shocked.

"Yes. She was horribly abused herself and she was an alcoholic. She tried to prevent it, at times, but she was beaten for her effort."

"So, Peter beat Todd, too?" Dorian asked, shaking her head.

"Beat him!" Viki laughed ironically. "He beat him, burned him, mentally abused him, tortured him in ways you can never imagine. Viki looked down at her hands. She rested them in her lap to try to stop the trembling. Viki went on. Peter Manning also molested and raped Todd." Viki saw the look of horror on Dorian's face. She continued anyway. He repeatedly molested and raped him from the time he was just four, possibly younger. Peter would drag Todd out of bed in the middle of the night to torture him. Todd was tortured for everything. If the weather was bad, he was tortured. If Peter had a bad day at the office, he was tortured. If he wet himself or threw up, he was tortured. If he cried from the pain of what Peter was doing to him, he was tortured, and if he didn't cry he was tortured for that, too." Viki did not want to give Dorian all this information. For some reason, she could not stop herself.

Dorian turned pale. She felt slightly nauseated. She thought of the times that she had seen Todd with Starr. She knew in her heart that Todd would never hurt his little girl that way. Yet, a part of her felt afraid for Starr. She found it hard to imagine that anyone abused that badly would have been able to break the cycle of abuse all by themselves. She thought of that frightened and hurt little boy she had just seen. Dorian could see that Viki was upset that she had said too much. She knew Viki was afraid she had given her ammunition to use against Todd. Dorian took a deep breath and said, "Viki, I'm not going to pretend that Todd is suddenly my favorite person, but I swear to you. I would never have wished that on him." Dorian took Viki's hand and looked deeply into her eyes, "I know what it is to be an abused child. Not to the extent Todd was, but I know."

"Then what the hell were you doing here, Dorian? Why did you show up early and why were you lurking around Todd's room?"

Dorian instinctively put her hand on her purse. For the moment, Dorian was sorry for what she had planned to do. Right now she regretted wanting to trick Todd into signing away his rights to Starr.

"I know you want Blair to try to get sole custody of Starr because Todd is sick," Viki admitted, disgustedly.

Dorian did feel regret for that, not so much for wanting Blair to have custody of Starr. She still believed that Blair and the rest of the Cramer women were better suited to raise Starr than Todd and Viki's side of the family. She felt regret because she tried to hurt Todd while he was so sick, and by doing so she added to Viki's grief. Dorian knew what it felt like to be terrified for a sick loved one. Dorian opened her purse and took out the papers she had brought along. "Viki, I want you to look at these."

Viki took the papers and looked them over. "Dorian, how dare you! What kind of monster are you!"

Dorian didn't answer. She took the papers back and ripped them up. "Viki, I swear to you. I will not try to hurt Todd while he is so ill. Afterwards, all bets are off, but not while he's this ill," Dorian promised with a small, sad, smile on her lips.

Viki told Dorian why she asked to meet her in the first place. Dorian looked shocked. "That man truly was a miserable bastard," Dorian spat out. She shook her head in disbelief. She then quickly said, "Viki, I'm sorry. I know he was your father and a part of you still loves him."

"Dorian, for once we are in complete agreement. He was a miserable bastard. I don't know how my father could have held this incredible little human being in his arms and turned his back on him."

"I do have some of your father's things in storage. I don't ever remember seeing that picture. Viki, I have to ask. Why is seeing that picture so important?"

"Dorian, I really don't know. Perhaps, because its the only baby picture of Todd I will ever have. Or maybe it's that it is a connection between Todd and my father. Or maybe because it is verification of Todd's memories. Perhaps someday, that might help him. All I know is I need that picture. I need to see the baby in that picture again," Viki explained as best she could.

"Even my own children know that I love Todd with all my heart. The bond we share is the strongest of my life. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Todd. Dorian, he is so very ill. You just can't imagine. You do know that it is at his request that Starr be kept out of his life?"

"Yes, Blair told me that," Dorian confirmed gently.

"He wants to protect Starr from ever having to see him like this. He thinks about her all the time. At least when he's Todd. There is an alter named Saber. He is the reincarnation of Peter Manning. He taunts Todd that something bad will happen to Starr. Todd would die before he would ever let any harm come to Starr. I promise you that, Dorian. No matter which alter has ever been out, Starr has been safe."

"Viki, I know how much Todd loves Starr. I may not believe he should be raising her, but I do know how much he loves her, and if I forget, Blair keeps reminding me."

"Did Blair tell you that Todd is suffering from "psychosomatic" blindness?" Viki asked.

"No!" Dorian again looked shocked.

"Yes, it's his way of not looking at things and punishing himself." Viki did not trust this new, benevolent, Dorian enough to tell her about the whole Michelle matter.

"Viki," Dorian stood up and straightened out her skirt, "I will go to the storage room as soon as I leave here. If that picture is among your father's possessions I will find it and I will bring it to you."

"Dorian."

"Yes," Dorian turned around to look at Viki.

"Thank you," Viki said simply.

Dorian just nodded and headed for the doors.

"Are you sure she meant what she said about not going after custody for Starr for Blair?" Sam asked.

"As sure as anyone can be with Dorian. I know she's feeling guilty right now for being partially responsible for Timmy falling, but once her initial guilt vanishes her compassion may vanish with it." Viki answered.

"She did seem genuinely upset and regretful about what happened to Timmy," Susannah offered.

"Yes, I'm sure at the moment she is. Dorian does have a heart. She also has her own demons and sometimes they are what drives Dorian's actions not her heart," Viki explained. Viki had enough experience with Dorian to know how quickly her compassion can turn into plotting and scheming.

"You know there is nothing she can really do without Blair's permission. Even if she had gotten Todd or one of the alters to sign those papers, they would not have been worth the ink on the page. Todd cannot, legally, sign anything and I am reasonably sure that Blair would not have gone along with it anyway," Sam stated.

They heard Timmy moaning softly.

"Timmy," Susannah called to him.

Timmy blinked several times. His vision was clouded from the medication and doubled from the concussion. Everything looked so strange that it terrified him. Then he felt the pain and started to cry. Viki sat on the bed and lifted him to her.

"Mommy, it hurts all over," Timmy cried.

Susannah ordered a painkiller. They could tell that, although Timmy was in pain, it wasn't as sever as the pain he was in after he had gone into cardiac arrest. He was crying and whimpering, but it was bearable. He was not thrashing about or crying hysterically.

Terry came in and injected the pain med in the IV that had been restarted. Timmy was calming down.

"Timmy, do you know who I am?" Susannah assessed.

"Doctor Hanen. How come there are two of you? Is that your twin?"

"No, sweetie. Your eyes are not going to be able to see so good for a couple of days, because you hit your head. Do you remember that?"

Timmy shook his head. "My hand hurts and my mouth hurts, too," Timmy whimpered.

"Do they hurt a lot, sweetie?"

Timmy yawned and shook his head. Viki started to lay him back down.

"No, mommy! Hold me." Timmy held his good arm around Viki's neck and resting his head on her chest. Viki tightened her hold. "Look! Daddy has a twin, too." Timmy looked at Sam through his double vision.

Sam's heart skipped a beat. Although he had heard Timmy call Viki "mommy" before, this was the first time Timmy called him, "daddy." Tears came to Sam's eyes. "Maybe they are finally starting to believe I want to be their father," Sam thought.

Viki looked at Sam and grinned widely. She knew exactly what he was feeling. She continued to hold Timmy. She stroked his head and hummed softly to him. He fell asleep in her arms. She continued to hold him for a while before laying him down and pulling the sheet and blankets up over him.

Sam had gone to bring back some lunch for everyone. Susannah stayed in the room. She did not want to be to far from Timmy.

"Is he really all right?" Viki questioned.

"Yes, his injuries are not serious. He should be able to be out of bed again by tomorrow or the next day. He won't get much use out of that left hand for a while," Susannah declared sadly.

"Great! That's just what he needs. At least the pain isn't that severe. Poor baby. Every time he wakes up he has some new suffering to contend with."

Dave stepped into the room from his post outside. "Viki, it's a Mrs. Hayes to see you. Do you want her to come into Todd's room?"

"Thank you, Dave. Yes, I want very much to speak with her."

Dave saw Viki looking towards Todd. "I'll sit by the bed with Susannah if you want to step outside with Mrs. Hayes," Dave offered.

"Viki, Timmy's not in any danger. It's safe to leave for a while if you want to," Susannah encouraged her.

Viki glanced at Timmy and his wounded body again. She hated the idea of not being next to him if he started to wake up. She also wanted Susannah close in case Dorian had some devastating information about Victor. Viki thought for a second. She looked closely at Timmy. He was sound asleep. "I'll speak with Dorian in here, Dave. Thank you, anyway." Viki turned to Susannah. "Will you please stay?"

"Yes, of course, I will, " Susannah immediately agreed.

Viki went to the door to Todd's room. "It's all right, Dorian. You can come in," Viki held the door open for Dorian.

Dorian walked into the room looked down at Timmy. "How is he?" she whispered.

"He still has double vision and he is in some pain, but considering how much worse he could have been he's all right," Viki responded. She was not interested in making Dorian feel any guiltier than she already felt.

Susannah stayed by Timmy's side to afford Viki as much privacy as possible.

"I found the picture," Dorian whispered. She opened up her purse.

"My God, where was it?" Viki was shocked that Dorian had found it so quickly.

"With some of your father's papers, hidden away in a secret compartment of an accordion folder."

"Just the way father hid Todd's existence away," Viki snapped bitterly.

Dorian took the old Polaroid out of her bag and handed it to Viki.

Viki's hand shook as she reached for it. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she looked at the picture of the bruised and smiling two year old Todd. He was dressed in the little sailor suit that had once belonged to Victor.

Viki motioned Susannah over. She handed the picture to Susannah. Susannah immediately recognized the child in the picture to be Todd. His hair was much lighter. It was blond, but the eyes and the mouth were unmistakable. She also saw the bruises, clearly visible. There was one on his forehead, one around his left eye and one on his chubby little baby cheek. Tears also came to Susannah's eyes at the sight of baby Todd, smiling for the camera. His mouth was smiling. Yet if you looked, you could see fear and pain already present in those huge, innocent eyes.

"Dorian, did Father ever give you any indication that he had a child tucked away somewhere?" Viki pressed.

"No, I swear. He never said a word," Dorian professed and then asked Viki, "Do you think Victor went back there, when Todd was older?"

"I don't know what my father was capable of. I thought I knew him so well and I didn't know him at all."

"Viki," Dorian began carefully, "there were some other things, some other papers and some checks in the compartment with the picture." Dorian, slowly, took some cancelled checks out of her purse and handed them to Viki. They had been made out to a James Porter. They were dated from July 1970 until shortly before Victor's death. "Viki, do you have any idea who James Porter was?" Dorian asked.

"I was just about to ask you that," Viki replied.

"I have no idea, but from the amounts on those checks it looks like your father was paying him quite handsomely," Dorian pointed to the checks.

Viki quickly did a rough estimate of the amounts on the checks and realized it came to nearly a quarter of a million dollars. Viki handed the checks to Susannah.

"You found these in the same compartment with Todd's picture?" Susannah asked after she looked at them.

"Yes, and these," Dorian took out an envelope. She handed it to Viki. Inside were Todd's birth certificate and a sealed letter with the name Adam Manning written in Victor's handwriting on the outside of it.

Viki looked quizzically at Dorian and asked, "Do you have any idea who Adam Manning is?"

Dorian pointed to the birth certificate in Viki's hand. "Your brother. Look at the name."

Viki looked at the paper in her hand. It had Todd's birthday, but the name on it was Adam Manning. Viki gasped startling Susannah and Dorian. "Uncle Adam," Viki muttered.

"What?" Dorian asked.

"Father had an older brother named Adam. He was killed in the war. Father would speak about him sometimes, not often; I could tell it was painful for him. He apparently loved Adam very much. Father must have given Todd that name. He must have cared enough to have given him the name of a beloved brother, but not enough to give him his last name," Viki spat out bitterly. She then asked Dorian, "Was there anything else?"

"Just one more thing." Dorian handed Viki a small gold box.

Viki's hands were still trembling as she took it and opened it. Inside was a wisp of fine, silky, blond hair.. Baby's hair.

Tears filled Dorian's eyes as she watched Viki gently brush her fingers over what was obviously Todd's baby hair.

Looking at Susannah and Dorian, Viki asked, "Do you think Father actually loved Todd?"

"It would seem that way," Susannah answered.

"Perhaps in his own way," Dorian responded.

"I don't understand this," Viki stated. Her breathing was becoming rapid. "Father left a date book. He spoke so coldly about Todd in it. He only referred to him as 'the boy.' He spoke about him having his shots, like he was a puppy. I can't believe that he would have kept these things."

"Perhaps they belonged to Irene?" Susannah suggested.

"It's possible, but I don't think so. Tina had all of Irene's papers and things. Besides, it's Father's handwriting on the envelope."

Dorian nodded in agreement and asked Viki, "Are you going to open it?"

Viki looked at them and said, "I don't know. It's sealed and addressed to Todd I wouldn't feel right reading it."

"Viki, you're not thinking of just handing it to Todd if he can see or reading it to him. Not in his condition?" Dorian was shocked.

"No, of course not. I would hold it for him until he could handle it," Viki said. She then looked at Susannah and asked, "That is the right thing to do isn't it?"

"I definitely think not reading it to Todd when he comes back is the right thing to do, as for not reading it yourself first, I'm not sure. Ethically, of course, it's the right thing to do, but I'm not sure it would best serve Todd to allow him to hear or read something, should he get his vision back, that might severely traumatize him."

"Then you think we should read it?" Viki didn't want to decide this. She wanted to be told what to do.

"Of course, you should read it first!" Dorian interrupted.

"Mrs. Hayes, Viki has to decide this for herself. The one thing I can offer is that now is absolutely not the time for Todd to be informed about the letter. Perhaps, not for some time to come. Even if Victor admits love for Todd in the letter it would still be more than Todd could handle right now."

Viki nodded in agreement.

"Viki! I can't believe you're not going to read it," Dorian admonished. She not only believed it was the right thing to do, she desperately wanted to know what was in that letter.

Before anyone had a chance to say anymore, Dave stepped into the room. He headed for Susannah. "My beeper went off. I'll get Carl to cover for me before I go to the phone." Dave turned to Viki and explained. "My dad is having surgery today and I told my mom to beep me when it was over."

"Nothing serious I hope," Viki stated.

"Not too serious. He has an enlarged prostate and they took care of it."

"Please give your mom and dad my best wishes for a speedy recovery," Viki said and patted Dave's arm.

"Dave, you don't have to get someone to cover for you. Timmy's asleep and we're all here. Just go call your mom," Susannah instructed.

Dorian smiled encouragingly at Dave before he left. When he was gone, she turned back to Viki. "Viki, what if there is something in that letter that will make a big difference in Todd's life, or in yours? Don't you want to know it as soon as possible?"

"Dorian, whatever it is has waited this long. I'm sure a few more months won't make any difference," Viki proclaimed.

"Months! Viki really . . ."

Before Dorian had a chance to complete her statement, Marcia stuck her head in the door. "Viki, Kevin is on the phone."

"Thank you. I'll be right there." Viki told Marcia. Viki wondered why Kevin didn't call on her cell phone. She checked and saw the battery was dead. She headed for the nurses' station to take her call.

Before she left, Marcia turned to Susannah and said, "Susannah, the pharmacist is here. She needs you to fill out a brand name request form for one of Todd's medications. They sent up the generic."

Susannah shook her head. "All right, please tell her I'll be right there."

Just as Marcia left, Susannah remembered that Dave wasn't at the door.

"Someone will be in here to stay with Todd in a minute," Susannah informed Dorian.

"I can stay with him for a few minutes. I am a physician and I'm his aunt. I will get you immediately if he starts to wake up," Dorian assured Susannah. She was a little insulted that she wouldn't be trusted.

Susannah knew she and the staff would be right outside and she would only be gone for a few minutes. "All right," Susannah agreed. "If he starts to wake up just stick your head out the door and call for someone."

"Of course," Dorian nodded.

As soon as Susannah left the room Dorian walked over to the chair where Viki had left the envelope, picture and checks. She picked up the letter and looked at it. Before Dorian had the chance to allow her curiosity to drive her to open it, she heard Timmy moan softly. She walked to his bed.

"Mommy. I want mommy," Timmy whimpered softly.

Not sure if he meant Viki or his mother, Dorian stroked his hair and said, "She's right outside, sweetheart. She'll be back in a minute."

Timmy's eyes opened wider when he heard an unfamiliar voice. "You're not mommy. I want mommy. It hurrrrts," Timmy cried out tearfully.

"I'll go get Viki and Doctor Hanen for you," Dorian assured him. She was still feeling so much compassion for this child.

Timmy looked around and realized Dorian was the only person in the room. "I'm scared to be alone," Timmy started to cry harder.

"All right, sweetheart. I'm not leaving." Dorian placed her arm around Timmy's shoulders.

"I want my mommy and daddy. Everything huuurrrttts, " Timmy cried.

"When your doctor comes back, she can get you something for the pain, sweetheart," Dorian tried to comfort Timmy.

�

"They're not gonna give me a shot are they?" Timmy asked, fear in his voice.

"Shhh. No, I don't think so," Dorian answered.

"How come I can't see good?" Timmy asked.

"Because you hit your head, Timmy. Do you remember falling down and hitting your head?" Dorian reminded him.

"I fell 'cause I'm a clumsy boy. I always fall down a lot 'cause I'm a clumsy boy. My daddy didn't hurt me. My daddy's a good daddy. He never hurts me. I fall a lot," Timmy started to get agitated as he repeated his well-rehearsed lines. Timmy's anxiety increased. He tried to sit up. He started to mumble to himself. "Don't tell. Don't tell! I didn't. I didn't. I didn't tell! I said I got hurt 'cause I'm clumsy. 'Cause I fell down. Don't tell daddy. Don't tell daddy!"

Out of instinct, Dorian put her arms around Timmy and hugged this frightened child to her. "It's all right, sweetheart. Don't get so upset. No one will say anything to your daddy."

"Dorian! What do you think your doing!" Viki rushed into the room and took Timmy in her own arms, pushing Dorian out of the way.

"He's upset. I was just comforting him," Dorian announced defensively.

Susannah came into the room at this point. "What did you do to upset him!" Viki accused.

"I didn't do anything." Dorian looked back and forth from Viki to Susannah as she spoke. "He woke up and wanted his mommy. He didn't want me to leave. He was afraid to be alone. He asked why he was having trouble seeing straight. I told him he hit his head and asked if he remembered falling and then he went into some kind of episode."

"Mommy, I didn't tell. I didn't tell. I was good. I said I fell down. I didn't tell," Timmy cried out to Viki.

"It's all right, baby. We know. No one thinks you told."

"Is daddy here?" Timmy sniffled.

Not sure if he meant Peter or Sam Viki tried to get clarification. "Do you mean Sam, baby?"

"No, my other daddy. Is he here?" Timmy whimpered fearfully.

"No, Timmy. Daddy is nowhere near here." Susannah assured him and walked over to the bed. She then gently informed him, "Timmy, I need to examine you. I promise I won't do anything that hurts. Okay, sweetie?"

"No shots!" Timmy protested.

"No shots," Susannah assured him.

�

Timmy nodded.

Dorian watched quietly as Susannah assessed Timmy. Dorian was touched watching Susannah and Timmy play "the stethoscope game." She remembered how she would sometimes do that when she did her pediatric rotation in med school.

Sam came into the room carrying some bags of warm food. He was surprised to see Dorian. Susannah was just finishing up her exam.

"How you doin', buddy?" Sam asked and stroked Timmy's cheek.

"Sam's my daddy now," Timmy proudly announced to Dorian.

"I'm sure Sam is a very good daddy," Dorian said. She was not sure if it was all right to encourage him in thinking that.

Timmy tried to change positions and pushed against his injured hand. He screamed out in pain and started to cry. Viki rushed to him. She and Sam both held him and comforted him. Dorian looked at them. She knew they had become a family.

Susannah ordered some pain med for Timmy. He soon quieted down and fell asleep.

Dave came in and told them he was back at his post.

"How's your dad doing?" Susannah asked.

"He's fine. He's already grumbling about the hospital food that he's going to have to eat," Dave chuckled.

Once Timmy had fallen asleep again, Viki filled Sam in on Dorian's discoveries.

"Do you think I should read the letter?" Viki asked Sam, after explaining the situation to him.

"Viki, I can't tell you what to do. What I can tell you is that you certainly don't have to decide now. Todd is far from being able to know what is in that letter one way or the other," Sam practically repeated what Susannah said.

Dorian could not understand how Viki could not open it, but for once, she said nothing. She knew that had to be Viki's decision. "I really should be going," Dorian declared and stood up.

"Dorian, thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart," Viki took Dorian's hand.

"Take care of him," Dorian whispered as she looked toward the sleeping Timmy.

Viki could tell that Dorian was being genuine.

Sam and Viki stayed by Timmy's bed. Susannah headed back to her office. She was in the process of writing up notes on today's occurrences when she recognized Bill's knock on the door. Straightening her hair, Susannah called out, "Come on in, Bill."

"How did you know it was me?" he asked smiling.

"Your knuckles have a certain tone to them," Susannah answered, smiling back.

"So, Doctor Hanen, how are you today?"

Susannah went on to tell him about everything that happened, from Timmy's fall to the discovery of he things Victor had hidden away. Bill was sorry to hear what happened to Timmy and was surprised to find out about Victor, although not as surprised as the others because he wasn't as familiar with the background.

"I guess it was a shock to Viki, but after all he was the kid's father," Bill reasoned.

"Bill, Victor was not a sentimental man. This action is very atypical for him. It also puts Viki in an awkward position. If she reads the letter, she's invading something that was meant for Todd's eyes only. If she doesn't she could be subjecting Todd to something very traumatic. She and Sam don't know what to do."

"Susannah," Bill began, "do you realize that my original question was how are you. You have told me how Todd is. You've told me how Sam and Viki are. You even told me how Dorian Hayes is doing. You have yet to tell me how you are."

Susannah was taken back by what Bill had just noticed. She realized it was true. She was defining how she was by what was going on with the people in her life and not by how she was truly feeling. "Have you ever given any thought to becoming a shrink?" Susannah asked with a big smile on her face. She then answered Bill's original question. "I am tired. I am frustrated by the lack of progress Todd is making. I am worried for his family as well. I am also very glad that you came by. I need some distraction."

"Do you think you can allow yourself to be distracted enough to go to a movie with me? There's a Hitchcock revival playing at the Prince Street Cinema. Rear Window, North By Northwest and . . . Psycho," Bill smiled at the irony of the last title.

"I would love to see the first two. I think I will pass on the third," Susannah laughed.

"Not in the mood to watch Norman become mama, huh?" Bill joked and laughed along with Susannah.

"You got it." Susannah answered with a big grin on her face. Then she said, "Just let me check in on Todd again and tell Viki, Sam and the staff where I'll be. Why don't you come and say your hello's while I do that?"

�

Sam and Viki were happy that Susannah was taking some time for herself. They really liked Bill. Susannah checked on the sleeping Timmy. He seemed to be doing all right. His vitals were good and his lungs were clear. The pain meds were controlling his discomfort enough to keep him asleep. Susannah could find no reason for her having to stay close by, yet she still was uncomfortable leaving for something as frivolous as a movie.

Somehow sensing her thoughts, Bill said to he, "He'll be fine. You have your beeper and the theater is only about ten minutes from here. Even you, Doctor Hanen, are allowed to go on a date without the world being brought to its knees."

Feeling slightly embarrassed and knowing Bill was right, Susannah replied, "Oh, is that what this is, Commissioner? A date?"

"Yeah, I guess it is," Bill admitted when he realized what he had said. He then asked. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Susannah thought about it for a moment and responded, "Only one. If we are going to share a popcorn, I like lots and lots of butter."

"Ahhh! You really are a woman after my own heart, Susannah. Now let's go before you chicken out."

Susannah knew that Bill was starting to know her. Perhaps, a little better than she was ready for.

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter 61

COPYRIGHT 1999 RS/RHFC