PREVIOUSLY...
As Connie came closer he screamed, "ARE YOU DEAF BITCH? I SAID NO DRUGS! GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT! GET AWAY!" He continued to scream and continued to try to free himself.Connie quickly injected the sedative. "NOOO! I SAID I DON'T WANT DRUGS. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" "I hated to do it at this hour, but I called Doctor Hanen," Connie told Viki. Viki didn't even hear her; she just stared at the scene in front of her. She knew that he had to be restrained for his own good and the damage his outburst could do to Todd's body. She knew that voice. She knew, as did the staff, that Pete had come back.
"Pete you need to calm down," Carl, who
was in charge of communication, spoke calmly and firmly as he held him tightly.
"GO TO HELL!" Pete shrieked.
"Try to relax, Pete.
We'll keep you safe. We won't let you hurt yourself," Carl assured him.
"I'M NOT TRYING TO HURT MYSELF, YOU ASSHOLE! I
JUST WANT OUTA HERE!"
"You know we can't
let you do that," Carl reminded him.
Pete felt the medication
hit. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!"
"Pete the medication Connie gave you is going
to help you relax and calm down. It'll make you sleepy. Don't fight it, just
relax," Carl spoke slowly and soothingly.
"BEFORE THAT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME! TO TODD'S
BODY! I HATE YOU!" Pete shook his head, trying to clear it. His muscles
started to relax. He hated this feeling.
The staff slowly relaxed the hold they had on him.
He immediately tried to kick out. They once again tightened their grip.
"We're not going to let you hurt anyone Pete," Carl let him know in a
no-nonsense tone.
Pete was fighting the sedative with all his
strength. He knew he had to get away from them. He had to get Todd's body away
from them because they were going to blame him. They would put him in jail. He
knew he would never allow anyone to send him back to prison.
When Pete had woken up in Todd's bed, a short time
ago, the last time he was out, at the lodge, came flooding back to him. He knew
he had to get away. He saw Viki sleeping on the chair. He quietly got off the
bed. He had to hold on to it for a moment as a wave of dizziness washed over
him. He immediately realized something had happened to Todd's body.
He had no idea how long he'd been away. It didn't
matter. He was back now and he knew what he had to do. That was when he used
the rage he felt to give Todd's body the strength it needed to try to escape.
Now they had him. He felt powerless. Nothing made Pete feel more rage than
feeling powerless. He wanted to hurt someone. Connie, he wanted to hurt Connie.
He wanted to make her feel the way he was feeling. She's the one who drugged
him. He knew if these goons would just let go of him, drugs or no drugs, he
could teach Connie not to mess with him. She was just like the rest of them.
Liars and cheats.
A part of Pete trusted Susannah and Viki, but
whenever he felt that trust it would make him feel afraid.� He didn't want to end up caring about them
the way Todd and most of the others cared about Todd's mother. Pete would never
want to set himself up that way and leave himself as vulnerable as loving
Barbara Manning had left Todd and the others. There was only one female Pete
had ever known that he believed cared about him. Only one that he wasn�t afraid
to trust. That was Michelle, and he didn't ever really know her. He watched her
from afar. He didn't remember being inside Todd until he came out, but somehow
he knew all about Todd's life. He remembered that Michelle wasn't like the
others. She didn't want to abandon Todd, not even at the end. She never did
anything to hurt Todd. He remembered what��
the other Todd had told Susannah at the lodge. He remembered how weird
he felt when he came out there. Like he was in a dream, but it was real at the
same time. He remembered what it felt like to have his hands around Peter's
throat. 'Why did you stop me Sam?' Pete thought. Pete didn't realize it, but he
was starting to calm down. His muscles had relaxed even more. His breathing had
become more even. He couldn't shout at them now even if he wanted to. It was
only through sheer will, that he kept himself conscious.
They moved him to the bed and put him in restraints.
He fought them as best as he could. He knew he didn't have the strength to stop
them and it terrified him. They were surprised at Pete's ability to fight off
the medication as much as he had. Any of the other alters would have been
asleep by now.
Viki, who had been asked to wait outside while they
got him settled, saw Susannah fumble with her key while she waiting to be
buzzed in through the doors. Viki could tell that she had gotten dressed
hurriedly. She approached Viki and asked, "What happened?"
"I don't know. I was asleep. The shouting in
the hallway awakened me. He must have sneaked out. By the time I came out they
had him in a hold on the floor," Viki told her all she knew.
"Connie called me and told me she was sure it
was Pete. She told me he was out of control," Susannah stated.
"The sedative didn't seem to have much effect
on him at first . . . I don't know . . . I think he's calmed down now . . . I
don't know. He's not shouting anymore. They asked me to wait out here."
Susannah could see Viki was distraught.
"Susannah, should I call Sam?" Viki
inquired.
"Why don't you wait until after I've had a
chance to see Pete," Susannah suggested. She placed her hand on Viki's
shoulder and gave Viki and assuring look.
Susannah headed into Todd's room. Carl, Dave and
Connie were still with him. Pete was still. He was not asleep. His eyes were
open. They were glassy. Susannah approached the bed. She knew Pete recognized
her.
"Untie me. Tell them to untie me," Pete
demanded, weakly.
"Not yet Pete. You were very upset and you need
to be safe. The restraints will keep you safe. You can be as angry as you need
to be and you don't have to be afraid you'll hurt yourself or someone
else."
"I don't want to hurt myself. Why won't anyone
listen to me!" Pete pulled at the restraints as best he could to show
Susannah he meant business.
"Pete you might not mean to, but you could do
something that would inadvertently hurt Todd's body."
"If I wanted to hurt Todd it wouldn't be
inadvertent. Why does his body feel like this?"
Susannah could see that Pete was frightened of how
weak he felt.
"Pete, Todd's been sick. His body has become
weak. His body will get stronger again. You don't have to be afraid of feeling
this way forever," Susannah spoke soothingly.
"If we were separate I wouldn't have to feel
lousy because of him. He should have died," Pete declared.
"I know you believe if Todd dies you can all be
separate and have your own bodies and your own lives. Pete, that can never
happen. If Todd dies, you all do."
"You're a liar. Just like she was. Just like
they all are," Pete accused. He did not want to believe what Susannah told
him.
"Like who Pete? Who else is a liar?"
Susannah pressed.
"Women! You all are. You all deserve what you
get."
"Did your mother deserve what she got?"
"I told you! I have no mother. I have no
mother! Why can't you remember? Why can't you remember!"
Susannah saw he was getting more agitated.
"I'm sorry Pete. Yes, I do remember you told me
that. Okay, did Todd's mother deserve what she got?"
"Yes! . . . No! . . . Yes! . . . I don't know.
She wasn't my mother. I don't have to care about her. I don't! I don't! I
don't!"
"Okay Pete, shhhhh, calm down. You don't have
to care about her if you don't want to." He started to calm down again.
"Pete what is the last thing you remember before coming out here
today?" Susannah asked.
"I was back in the Chicago house and then I was
at Asa's lodge."
Susannah realized Pete believed he was really back
in Chicago, trying to kill Peter again. He did not understand what had happened
at the lodge.
"Do you remember what happened at the lodge
after you came out. Do you remember what you said?" Susannah questioned
him gently.
"I know he told you."
"You know who told me?"
"The other Todd. The one who cries all the
time. I didn't do it. I didn't. I'm not going to jail. I didn't do it. You
always wanted to find out about that night because you want them to put me in
jail. I didn't do it. I didn't do it!" Pete cried out and tugged at the
restraints.
Susannah could see he was becoming very anxious and
angry. "Pete, I know you didn't do it. Everyone knows you didn't do it. No
one is going to blame you. We know it was Todd's father," Susannah stated
in no uncertain terms. She wanted to make sure he understood that they all
believed him.
"You're trying to trick me. You want me to
confess. I didn't do it. They thought Todd raped that nurse and put him in
jail. He didn't do it. He told them he didn't do it, but they put him in jail
anyway. Please let me go. You say you care about Todd. I'll take him away where
they can't find him," Pete begged.
"Pete, I swear I'm not trying to trick you. No
one is going to put you or Todd in jail." Susannah emphasized the words no
one. "We will never let that happen." Susannah promised him.
"I want Sam! Where's Sam?" Pete was
getting even more agitated.
"All right Pete. I'll call Sam and ask him to
come here now. Will you do something for me?"
Pete just stared at her.
"Will you close your eyes and try to sleep.
Todd's body needs rest. I promise I will bring Sam here to see you and when you
wake up you can talk to him."
"If I go to sleep they can do anything they
want to Todd," Pete protested.
"Pete, you have been away for weeks since you
were at the lodge and no one has put Todd in jail. It's safe for you to
rest."
A part of Pete wanted to let go, while a part of him
was terrified of not being in control. He continued to fight the sedative.
"Pete, I do have one more question for you and
then I'll call Sam, okay?"
Pete nodded. Susannah could see he was listening to
her.
"Do you know where Michelle is buried?"
Susannah asked.
"In Paradise."
"Viki. Viki! Why can't I move! Why can't I
move!" Todd's panicked voice cried out.
"Todd relax, you are in restraints. As soon as
I know you are calm I'll take them off," Susannah stroked his head as she
told him this.
"Viki," he whimpered quietly.
Susannah noticed he was not fighting the restraints
and his words were slurred. The medication that Pete had been able to resist
was starting to hit Todd. "Todd, I'll be right back I'm going to get Viki.
She's right outside. Connie and Carl are in here in your room. You're not
alone. It's all right."
Todd didn't answer. He just kept whimpering Viki's
name.
Susannah told Viki that Todd was out and very
briefly filled her in on what Pete had said. She asked Viki to come with her to
Todd's room.
"Todd. It's Viki. It's all right baby. I'm
here." Viki stroked his head gently.
"Viki," Todd whispered.
Susannah told Connie and Carl to start removing the
restraints.
"Viki, Viki." Todd kept whispering.
"It's me sweetheart. I'm right here."
"I'm cold. It's cold here in the winter. No,
it's the summer. I don't understand. Viki please let me stay with you. Please!
I'm so tired. It's so cold out here. Viki please!" Todd begged. His voice
was growing weaker and his speech became more slurred. He reached for Viki.
"Todd you're not outside. You're in your
hospital room. You're in your bed, sweetheart."
"No, I'm standing. The earth is hard. I can
feel it. I hear the wind."
"Todd can you see anything? Do you see where
you are?" Susannah asked.
"No it's dark. I don't like being in the
dark."
"Todd, do you know where you are? Where is the
earth hard?" Susannah pressed.
"I don't know. Maybe it's not the same
place?" Todd looked confused.
"Not the same place as where?" Susannah
pushed him a little.
"I don't know," Todd cried. Tears started
to run down his cheeks. "Don't be mad at me. I'll be good."
"Shhhh, Todd no one is angry with you,"
Susannah comforted.
Todd got a look of horror on his face. "He's
here! Don't let him find me," Todd whispered. He curled into a fetal
position and started to suck his thumb.
Susannah closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Oh Todd," Susannah sighed and rubbed his shoulder. She looked at
Viki. She saw the tears in Viki's eyes. "Viki, he's doing what he needs to
do. Todd knows when he can't take anymore. Hopefully he'll come out of it
soon." They both looked down at Todd, who had rolled onto his stomach,
still sucking his thumb.
The Baby was still in control when Sam arrived at
eight o'clock in the morning. He was upset that they had not called him when
all this occurred.
"Sam, Pete went away before I had a chance to
call you. Then Todd dissociated to the Baby. What could you have done?"
Susannah reasoned.
"I don't know, nothing probably, but I could
have been here for him and for Viki."
They tried raising the bed to a forty-five degree
angle to keep his lungs clear. The Baby could not stay in that position. He
kept falling onto his side and then started crying when he couldn't turn on his
stomach. Susannah had him moved to a chair and had them secure him to it. He
cried at first, but Sam and Viki distracted him with toys and soon he was his
joyful self again. He reached out to their mouths as they spoke and happily
gurgled.
Bill Jackson waited at the desk at the Palace Hotel.
He wanted to find out about the best and shortest route to Llanview Hospital.
He had spoken with Susannah earlier that morning. She was expecting him. He had
also called Bo to let him know he was in town. He wished he could meet Todd
Manning.
However, he intended to keep his promise and make no
attempt to see or question him.
Susannah told Sam and Viki that Commissioner Jackson
was coming to her office at eleven. She said she would meet with him privately
but if it was all right with him they could join them.
Bill was buzzed onto the unit at ten forty.
"Let me show you to Doctor Hanen's office. She's expecting you,"
Terry informed him.
The private family unit Todd was on surprised Bill.
He'd never seen one like it before and with good reason. Such units were out of
financial reach for the average patient and their family.
On his way to Susannah's office, Bill noticed a
blond woman standing outside a patient's room, obviously upset. Another woman
was comforting her. "Viki, they are just running a simple blood test on
him. Of course he's going to cry when he feels the needle go in. Why is it
upsetting you so much today?"
"I don't know. I just don't want him to know
pain. He is so happy. He's the only one who can be happy. I don't want him to
know pain. He already went through so much," the blond woman wept.
Bill noticed the gentle, soothing quality the woman
doing the comforting had. "Commissioner?" Terry called out when she
noticed Bill had stopped near Todd's room for a moment.
"What? Oh, I'm sorry. I was just noticing how
upset that poor woman was. I guess you get a lot of that here . . . families
becoming upset at the condition of their loved ones?"
Terry knew Commissioner Jackson was aware of Todd's
condition and it was all right to speak with him about it. "That's Viki
Carpenter. Todd Manning's sister," Terry informed him.
Swallowing hard, Bill asked, "And the woman
with her?" "That's Doctor Hanen. Mrs. Carpenter is a little upset
because one of Todd's alters was crying because of a blood test and Doctor
Hanen was comforting her. She won't be long, I'm sure. You can still wait in
her office."
Bill sat in one of the club chairs in Susannah's
outer office. He nodded at the receptionist and checked through the papers in
his briefcase. He had the affidavit from Doctor Evans and some sworn statements
from some of Todd's teachers. He had one from Adam Beecher, Peter's old
business partner. His mind wandered from the papers before him to the
distraught woman in the hallway. He could not forget the look of sorrow on her
face. He also could not forget the kind and comforting voice of Doctor Hanen.
From just those few seconds he could tell that these women cared very much
about Todd Manning.
"Commissioner Jackson?" Susannah addressed
him. She held out her hand for him to shake, "I'm Susannah Hanen."
"A pleasure to meet you Doctor Hanen, and
please, call me Bill."
"Thank you, and you can call me Susannah."
They walked into Susannah's inner office. "Can
I get you anything? Coffee or perhaps something from the cafeteria?"
Susannah offered.
"No, thank you. The Palace has wonderful
breakfasts. I'm afraid I've already gone overboard on Llanview cuisine,"
Bill admitted and smiled.
Susannah smiled back and confessed, "Well I
really need a cup of coffee this morning."
As she poured herself a cup of coffee Susannah, in
her usual straightforward manner, got right to the point. "Do you intend
to keep your word about not questioning Todd?"
Bill appreciated her bluntness. Still smiling he
assured her, "Yes Susannah, I intend to keep my word. I have no intention
of questioning Todd at this point."
"Are you saying that you do intend to question
him at some point?" Susannah pressed.
"Not without an okay from you. I gave Bo and
Tea my word. I don't go back on my word."
"Thank you," Susannah said, relaxing some.
"Is the boy worse? Is that why his sister was
so upset? The nurse mentioned something about one of the alters being upset and
a blood test."
Viki had already given Susannah permission to
discuss any aspects of Todd's condition and treatment with Bill. Viki and Sam
trusted Susannah's judgment and knew, in turn, Susannah would know how much
information Bill could be trusted with.
"Not really worse," Susannah began,
answering Bill's question, "Todd had a very bad night. Actually so did
Viki. She was with him. An alter named Pete came out in the middle of the night
and tried to leave. He had to be sedated and restrained. Then Todd came back
and he started hallucinating and became terrified. He dissociated into a
five-month-old. Viki was upset because the Baby, as we call him, was hurt by a
blood test. The Baby is the only alter we know of who hasn't suffered at the
hands of Todd's father, Peter Manning."
Susannah could see that Bill was listening to her
intently. She continued. "The Baby is usually very happy and Viki wants
him to stay that way. He went through a lot when he had pneumonia and she
doesn't want him to be hurt anymore. He, naturally, started to cry when he felt
the stick of the needle and that upset Viki. As I said, her nerves are still
ragged from last night. The last several days have been very difficult for her.
I'm actually a little worried about her. She's not getting enough sleep. She is
afraid to go home. Todd becomes extremely anxious and agitated if she is not
around. The other day he had to be sedated and restrained when he called for
her and she was not here. Viki felt very guilty. Ever since then she refuses to
leave him. Perhaps now that the Baby is out she will agree to get some
rest."
"Are you telling me that at this moment Todd is
actually a five month old infant?" Bill sounded confused.
"Todd has dissociated into a five month old
alter. This alter is a five months old. He can't sit up by himself. He is
preverbal. Bill, do you have children?"
"Yes, two boys and a girl."
"Picture the way your children were at five
months, developmentally, and that is the way the way the Baby is. He can do
nothing for himself. He can roll over, that's about it."
"Yeah, I remember my kids started to be able to
do that at that age and . . . wait a minute, we're talking about a grown man
here. Are you telling me that physically he is an infant as well as
mentally?"
"Yes. Bill you need to understand that Todd is
not pretending to be an infant. The Baby is actually an infant, in the same way
that Miss Perkins is an older woman, with all the aches and pains that come
with it. She walks hunched over. Her vision is poor. Her heart rate is slower than Todd's is. Timmy, the four year old alter, is allergic to wool. Todd is not. Andy wets the bed. The others do not. Some of them are left-handed. Todd is
right handed. The list just goes on and on. What you have to realize is that
the alters are individuals. They each have their own needs, their own issues
and their own likes and dislikes. Each one of them has to be respected in his
or her own right. Eventually, they will all become part of Todd. They will
still exist, but as a part of him as opposed to separated parts." Susannah
could see by the look on Bill's face that this was a lot to take in.
"Tea said he had something like twelve or
thirteen alters," Bill stated.
"Nineteen as of yesterday. Although the last
one to come out might be a fragment," Susannah updated him.
"How can that boy live like this? He must not
know if he's coming or going?"
"Actually although at times things get very
confused, especially for Todd, the system is most likely very well organized.
I'm not yet privy to the dynamics of Todd's system. In all likelihood every
alter was created for a purpose. They each handle a specific emotion or trauma
that Todd went through. For the most part they come when he needs them."
"It must take a child with an unusually
creative mind to do that. I mean my kids had imaginary friends, but�" Bill
was at a loss for words.
"Only children have minds flexible enough to do
this. Todd was also an unusually bright child. Many DID patients are. Todd has
a genius level IQ. He is also extremely creative. The irony is that he was made
to believe he was stupid and without talents or gifts."
"By the father?" Bill guessed.
"Yes, he made Todd feel like nothing, like he
didn't deserve the air he breathed. He started from the time Todd was a baby.
He drummed it into Todd's head that he was stupid and worthless and a loser. He
told him he was bad and clumsy and ugly. He would punish him for drawing a
picture for him. He would punish him for vomiting. He would make him lick it
up. One of the alters, Andy, a six year old, would throw up when the father
forced oral sex on him. One of the punishments for that was having to lick it
up. If Andy wet the bed he would be forced to sit on the wet spot for hours and
then be beaten. Peter would burn his genitals with a cigarette lighter. He
would have to spend the entire next night standing in the bathroom."
Susannah saw the look of horror on Bill's face. She
wanted him to know what Todd's life had been. What
Susannah didn't realize was how much she needed to
say these things that haunted her thoughts and her sleep to someone. She needed
someone who didn't love Todd and who wasn't personally involved in this
situation. Susannah continued.
"Timmy, a four year old, was tortured in a tub
of hot water. Not hot enough to actually cause damage to his skin, but hot
enough to hurt. He would then be taken from the tub and sodomized. Tom, a seven
year old, was woken in the middle of the night by the father lifting him out of
bed by his throat. He was then dragged into the kitchen where he was usually
beaten with the buckle end of a belt and then given a choice of punishments.
Some of the punishments would consist of being burned on the stove or under the
hot tap water or burned with cigarettes. Tom was hung by his arms on a hook on
the wall that Peter kept raising as the child got taller. He would be made to
stand against the wall for twelve sometimes fifteen hours, until he admitted to
whatever crime Peter imagined he did. He would be made to do things like kneel
while holding his heels, with his pajama bottoms rolled up to expose his knees,
in a pile of uncooked rice, for hours on end."
Bill could see by the look in Susannah's eyes and by
the rapid way she was describing the litany of tortures Todd endured that she
needed to say all this. It was more than just a need to inform him. Susannah
needed to be able to say this to someone with no emotional attachment to Todd
or to his family, someone who could just listen and allow Susannah to express
the pain she felt for this young man. Bill continued to listen without saying a
word. He allowed Susannah to continue uninterrupted.
"Todd remembers some of this abuse. Most of it
was blocked out. They were all made to play one of Peter's favorite games . . .
making them hold their hand over a cigarette lighter for as long as they could.
Thomas was one of them. He's an eight-year old doesn't feel pain. So Peter
found the punishment he was most afraid of. He would lock him in a dark, rat
infested storage shed. There are others who bear the emotional scars of what
Peter and Barbara did. Jimmy is a fourteen-year-old who witnessed the father
throw the mother out of the house and cause her to fall. This happened the day
before she died. He has blamed himself ever since and is suicidal. Ten-year-old
twin boys and girls came out because the mother sent Todd back to his father
after he ran away and walked through the woods for nearly two days to find
her."
Susannah took a deep breath and went on.
"There's the other Todd. He's the fourteen-year-old alter who was the
actual witness to Michelle's murder. He had been beaten, burned and raped by
the father that same night. He was then forced to help bury Michelle's body.
Pete is also fourteen. He tried to kill Peter that night for what he had done
to Michelle. There is Rodd. He's Todd's age and handles Todd's sexuality. There
are parent alters who nurture Todd and the children. Goodone, Miss Perkins and
Carol. There is Saber, he is what's known as an internal persecutor alter. He
embodies Peter Manning. He hates Todd and wants to destroy him."
Bill was left speechless by everything Susannah
said. It was almost beyond his imagination and understanding. He looked at
Susannah. While her voice was telling him a cold, clinical, description of her
patient, her eyes held the sadness and sorrow she felt for him. Bill noticed
Susannah's hands trembled as she lifted the coffee mug to her lips. He realized
her professional demeanor, as she described the torture Todd had gone through,
covered up the love she felt for her patient. Bill wanted to give Susannah some
time away from all this. He knew she needed it and would not give it to
herself.
"Doctor Hanen . . . Susannah, I have many more
questions to ask you about Todd, but you know what? I think I would like to visit your Llanview Hospital cafeteria after all and see how it compares to the
Palace Hotel."
"I'm sure you'll be, not, so pleasantly
surprised," Susannah kidded and smiled at him.
Bill noticed what a lovely smile Susannah had. It
was warm, open and honest. "You know what I really hate?" Bill began,
"To eat alone. How about joining me and then you can give me the grand
tour? Then, if we're up to it, I can ask the rest of my questions."
Susannah realized, for the first time that day, she
was hungry. She had not eaten breakfast and now it was nearly noon. "I
think you have yourself a deal, Commissioner. I just have to check in on Todd.
Can you wait for me in the lounge in front of Todd's room?"
"Sure, it will give me a chance to work up more
of an appetite," Bill happily agreed.
Susannah walked him to the lounge. The Baby was
still out. He had already had two feedings since the morning. He had been put
back to bed to allow him to sleep for a while. He was on his stomach, sucking
his thumb.
Bill was surprised when Susannah asked him to step
into Todd's room for a minute. "I thought you didn't want me anywhere near
him?" Bill restated Susannah's words.
"He's sleeping. He won't know you're
there," Susannah replied.
Viki and Sam knew Susannah was going to bring Bill
in to see Todd and they knew why.
Bill saw them standing by the bed when he came into
Todd's room.
"This is Todd," Susannah pointed to the
figure in the bed.
Bill was not sure what he had expected, but this was
not it. Bill could not believe his eyes. The young man who lay in the bed, on
his stomach, sucking his thumb, was skin and bones. His skin was so pale it was
almost translucent. The Baby's innocence was evidencing itself through Todd's
face. Bill's heart broke for this boy. This was not what Bill expected to see.
He immediately knew this young man could no more have taken a bat to his best
friend's skull then his own children could have. He, like those who loved�� Todd, knew he would do whatever was in his
power to keep Todd out of prison. Susannah looked at Bill's face. She knew
allowing him to see Todd, to see the sleeping Baby, was the right thing to do.
Both Susannah and Bill made it a point not to talk
about Todd during lunch. Susannah realized she needed a break as much as Bill
had realized she needed one. They did talk about some places in Chicago that
they were both familiar with. They spoke about places to see in Llanview. Bill
told her that he was divorced and shared custody of his three children aged
sixteen, twelve and eight. Susannah told him that she had never married. What
she didn't say, was that her career had been "her baby," until Todd.
They discovered that they both liked museums, old
movies, the Chicago Cubs and deep-dish pizza.�
Susannah took Bill on a tour of the hospital. Finally, they headed back
to the psychiatric unit Todd was on.
�Susannah
asked Bill to wait in her office for her while she checked on Todd. Viki had
gone to the lounge�� to get some rest.
Sam was standing over Todd's bed, jangling some keys above the Baby's face. The
Baby reached out for them and laughed and cooed.
"He's been pretty active since he woke up. He's
been reaching out for things and he's been very vocal," Sam informed
Susannah, letting her know the Baby had been happily gurgling away and cooing,
as usual.
As if on cue, he gurgled and laughed when Susannah
approached him. He reached for her locket as she bent over him to listen to his
heart. Susannah remembered how he had done that when he first came out.
"We have to get you back in the chair, huh,
cutie? Yeah, I know you like that, don't you?" Susannah stated as she
watched him put her locket in his mouth. "Here, I brought you back
something from the cafeteria that tastes better than an old locket."
Susannah reached into a bag she had brought in with
her and handed the Baby a bagel. "It's better for you too," she said,
smiling at him.
The Baby reached up and grabbed the bagel. He put it
in his mouth and began to suck on it.
"Well, that's one way to get food into him,"
Sam declared. He smiled at Susannah's ingenuity.
"Sam, as soon as Viki is rested I would like
for you both to come to my office and join Bill and me. I have� already explained about the alters to him. I
thought perhaps you and Viki might have some questions or something you wanted
to say to him," Susannah stated.
"What do you think of him? Do you get the same
feeling Bo and Tea did, that you can trust him?" Sam asked nervously.
"Sam I do. I absolutely do. Especially now that
he's seen Todd. He loves kids, Sam. He has three of his own. I'm sure he
believes Todd did nothing to hurt Michelle," Susannah was sure of what she
had just said.
"Susannah, sometimes your instincts amaze me.
How did you know bringing him in to see the Baby was the right thing to do? I
know the Baby got to him. I saw it in his face," Sam confirmed. Sam's eyes
were full of admiration for Susannah.
"I just had a hunch. Even shrinks just go on
hunches sometimes," Susannah joked.
The Baby started to coo
loudly.
"What's the matter cutie? No one is paying
attention to you?" Susannah said, as she walked over to him stroked his
head.
He held the bagel up to her and laughed. She took it
and handed it back to him again. They did this several times. Susannah could
see he was enjoying the game he made up. She called Frank and Terry in to
secure him to the chair again.
He didn't put up much of a fuss this time. The
Baby's sweet nature charmed anyone who came in contact with him. This child was
pure joy. He didn't seem to be too traumatized by his bout with pneumonia. Of
course he was unconscious for most of it.
Terry and Frank enjoyed keeping him occupied with a
game of "peek-a-boo." They covered their face with their hands and
then removed them, calling out "peek-a-boo," as the Baby kept
laughing and laughing.
"I think this would be a good time to come to
my office and meet Bill. Do you think we should disturb Viki?" Susannah
asked.
"I think she would
very much want to be disturbed for this," Sam answered.
Sam, Viki, Susannah and
Bill sat in the club chairs in Susannah office.
"Has Todd always dissociated, if that is that
the correct term, into an infant?" Bill inquired.
They could tell that Bill
had been studying up on DID.
"Yes, that's the correct term. The Baby didn't
come out until after Todd went to the lodge and after he went blind. He may
have been dormant for many years or the trauma of what happened may have caused
a new split. Bill, Todd's case is the most complex I've ever worked on. The
traumas he experienced were horrendous and chronic," Susannah explained.
"You said he has nineteen alters that you know
of. How many more can he have? Is there a limit?" Bill asked.
"The only limit is Todd's imagination. Every
alter's compartmentalized to a specific trauma. The system is efficient,"
Susannah replied.
"I guess Todd had enough trauma in his young
life for an army of alters," Bill said sadly.
"Bill, Bo and Tea mentioned that eventually you will have to take this case to the DA, a Steve Harris. From what we heard this would not be good news for Todd," Sam stated.
Before Bill had a chance to respond Viki said,
"now that you seen Todd and Susannah has explained some of the details of
his life to you, you can't believe that he killed Michelle? You have to know that what you heard on the tape was true. It almost, literally, killed that child to tell what happened. The time he spent at the lodge was agony for him. Can you imagine what it must be like to go through life with a secret like that? Bill, my brother was a much a victim of Peter as Michelle was," Viki statement as more like a plea.
"Mrs. Carpenter, I want you to know that the
more I find out about this case the more I want to find a way to prove Todd did
not kill that girl. Right now I have no body and no evidence that a crime has
been committed. I have a taped description of a rape and a murder made by a
desperately ill boy. I do not feel I would be doing Mr. Harris a service by
bringing an unsubstantiated case to him. So, in plain English, no I am not planning on going to him in the near future. I want to find that girl's body, if it's there and I want to find that bat and have it tested. I want to prove, beyond a doubt, that Todd could not have killed Michelle Baker. Then I will go to see our new DA."
Bill was touched deeply by the look of gratitude on
Sam and Viki's face. He was still haunted by her despair, earlier that day, as
she spoke to Susannah outside Todd's room.
Susannah held off telling them about Paradise. She
knew on one hand it would get their hopes up, and on the other it would mean
Bill was that much closer to having a case to take to Steve Harris.
As if he could read her mind, Bill asked,
"Susannah, you hypnotized Todd to get him to be able to tell you what
happened that night. Why can't you hypnotize him again and try to find out
where Michelle is buried?"
"I feel that, at this point, that would be far
too traumatic for him. Reliving it sent him into shock the last time. I can't
get to it directly, with him or any of the alters. I have to approach them in
subtler ways. The other Todd, the boy who was actually there that night, is
extremely fragile. He stayed hidden for fifteen years. He still hides. He doesn't live among the others. He cries constantly. The others can hear him, including Todd. They are frightened by the sound of his cries. Miss Perkins, a caretaker for some of the children, encourages them to cover their ears and ignore him. She is afraid of him. I think she has always known the secret he kept."
"Another boy came out
at the end didn't he?" Bill remembered the tape.
"Timmy?" Sam
responded, thinking that was whom Bill was talking about.
"No, the one you
called Pete," Bill clarified.
�Sam, Viki and Susannah exchanged looks.
"Did I say something
wrong?" Bill asked.
"No, not at
all," Viki answered.
"It's just that Pete came out last night and
that was the first time he came out since the lodge," Sam explained.
"Is that the one you told me tried to
leave?" Bill directed his question at Susannah.
"Yes, Pete has been trying to get out since the
day he first found himself here. He doesn't handle confinement very well,"
Susannah confirmed.
"Does he remember what was disclosed at the
lodge?" Bill pressed for information.
Susannah knew that neither Sam nor Viki were privy
to what Pete said when she saw him last night. It was not that she didn't trust
Bill, but she did not think this would be a good time to divulge the fact that
Pete does remember and that he said Michelle was buried in Paradise. Susannah did not want anyone to put pressure on her to try to get Pete back. She felt
forcing him back, if she could, would not be good for any of them. Lying did
not come easily to Susannah. As a matter of fact she hated even the smallest
evasion of the truth. Susannah was a firm believer in "the truth shall set
you free." Now, however, her instincts were telling her that she should
not divulge Pete's memories of that night. "Pete was really not coherent
when I spoke with him. He had already been heavily sedated," Susannah
answered truthfully but leaving out what Pete confirmed.
Bill accepted that without question. Susannah
already felt guilty, something she hated to feel.
They heard a knock on the
door. "Yes," Susannah called out.
"Susannah, I'm sorry to interrupt, Terry
apologized as she stepped into the office.
"That's all right, come in," Susannah
motioned her in with a wave of her hand.
"Can I speak with you
for a moment?" Terry asked.
"It's all right, you can speak in front of the
Commissioner," Susannah assured her.
"The Baby needed changing so we moved him to
the bed and Frank was cleaning him up. Andy came out. He became he became
terrified when he realized Frank was washing his genital area. He jumped off
the bed and . . ."
"Where is he now?" Susannah interrupted.
"He managed to crawl under the bed before we
could stop him. We didn't want to try to get him back out until we checked with
you. He's talking to himself and crying. As weak as he is his movements are
much quicker than most of the others. We allowed him to get away from us. I'm
really sorry Susannah." Terry took responsibility without making excuses.
"That's all right. I know how fast Andy can be.
Who's with him now?" Susannah understood that this was not Terry or Franks
fault. "Frank," Terry replied and added, "Carl just came on
shift he's also in the room."
"We'll be right there," Susannah said to
Terry. Susannah then looked at Bill and said, "You may as well meet Andy,
but no questions, understand!" "Doctor Hanen, do you always bark
orders at people that way?" Bill asked, trying to hide his smile.
"Yes," Susannah answered and then said,
"let's go."
TO BE CONTINUED