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To say Zack Rosen was surprised when he was asked to meet with Todd's psychiatrist is an understatement. 'So I wonder what ol' Todd has done now?' Zack thought to himself.

"Hi, my name is Doctor Susannah Hanen. I'm a psychiatrist. I've come to talk with you about Todd Manning. He's my patient."

"So I was told. What's Todd been up to? I heard he got this cushy psych ward gig instead of doing time for taking all those people hostage. Ol' Todd is amazing. He has more ways of getting himself in and out of trouble then anyone I've ever known. I wish he had given me some tips before he vacated the premises."

Despite Zack's try at a lighthearted tone, Susannah could hear the underlying jealousy. "Zack . . . is it all right if I call you Zack?"

"Oh sure. We don't stand on formalities here. If you really want to get chummy you can call me by my number."

Susannah was taking an immediate dislike to this young man. She proceeded with her questions. "How well did you get to know Todd? Were the two of you close? I've heard that he considered you to be his best friend in college and here at Statesville."

"Oh yes, the prison officials thought we complimented each other's personalities so they made us roomies."

Susannah could see that this might not be easy. Zack still carried a lot of resentment towards Todd. "Zack, did Todd ever talk to you about his childhood, about his father or mother?"

"Todd's father was a cold hearted bastard, but then again so was Todd, sometimes."

"Did Todd ever talk to you about him?"

"He didn't have to. I saw the two of them together. Man! You could not believe ol' Todd when he was around his dad. It was embarrassing to see."

"In what way was it embarrassing?" Susannah pressed.

"Well here's Todd, this super jock. Nothing phases him, right! Then his dad walks into the room and he turns into this scared shaking little kid. Man, he cowered when that guy came in. Called him "sir." Todd wouldn't even address the president of the university as sir. I don't know what that man did to him but Todd was scared shit . . . excuse me," Zack apologized sarcastically, "scared out of his mind by his father." Zack was quiet for a second and continued. "But then again he wasn't really his father was he? No, ol' Todd even lucked out there. Some zillionaire was his father. Man, ol' Todd must have been born under a lucky star."

Susannah could understand Zack's bitterness, on a professional level. On a personal level, she wanted to reach through the glass and slap him across the face.

"Did Todd talk about his mother much?"

"Hey look, I don't know why you're suddenly so interested in my Todd stories. I mean what's in it for me? I help you to help dear ol' Todd and what do I get? A gold star?"

"The warden is aware of the fact that you are helping me," Susannah assured him.

"Well I guess that's something. Hey, maybe you can teach me how to play crazy as well as Todd does so I can get out of here?" Zack looked at Susannah with a smirk on his face.

Susannah said nothing.

"No? Okay, out of my devotion to my old frat brother what more do you want to know?"

"Did Todd talk about his mother much?" Susannah repeated.

"Mostly when he got drunk, which was a lot. He got all weird when he spoke about her."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know . . . he . . . would change. His voice would change and his mood. He got all soft and fuzzy. Sometimes he would talk about her coming back like he didn't know she was dead. Sometimes he would cry out for her in his sleep. Man, how Todd hated to sleep. He used to keep me up half the night just pacing in the cell. He once kept cutting himself with a piece of glass he found in the exercise yard just to keep from falling asleep. I could understand it though. Every time he fell asleep he'd have all these nightmares and would wake up shaking and crying and sometimes screaming. That was only sometimes though.

"That was the weird part about Todd. You could never tell which Todd was going to be around. The scared kid Todd or the Todd who didn't give a shit . . . excuse me again Doctor . . . who he hurt to get what he wanted, even if it was himself. Most of the time Todd was as tough as they come here and didn't take crap off of anyone. He was always getting into someone's face, always looking for a way out of here. Man, he bashed his head into the wall; he burned his hand under the hot water, he OD'd just to get out of here. It's a shame he didn't know all he had to do was be nice to two little kids. He could have saved a lot of wear and tear on the old bod," Zack joked bitterly.

"Did Todd ever mention Charles Heath, his stepfather?" Susannah inquired.

Zach thought for a moment and replied, "yeah, one time at the frat house he was really wasted and he got that funny voice and started talking about his mom. He started crying and said, 'I heard him tell her. He told her he didn't want me there either. I tried to be good. I tried. I wanted him to like me. He liked mama. He wasn't mean to her, but he didn't like me either. No one likes me 'cause I'm bad. Mama didn't want me there. She didn't tell him she wanted me there. She said, she'd take care of this.' Then he kind of curled into this ball and really started to cry and acted like he was seeing his mother. He begged her to let him stay. He kept crying that he was scared. Then he just stopped. Zack shrugged and continued. "I guess he passed out. I'll tell you, I really hated it when he got like that. I liked the mean, drunk Todd a whole lot better then the pathetic one."

"Did he ever mention a summerhouse?" Susannah asked.

"You mean the one where he kidnapped Rebecca Lewis to?"

"Yes," Susannah replied.

"Yeah, he spoke about it. Only I didn't know he was talking about that house until after they caught him there. He used to talk about the best six days in his life. He said he once got to spend six days with his mother. They did all kinds of things together and the one thing he spoke about the most was going to an amusement park with her. I remember one other weird thing he said about that. I once asked him if it was fun and he said, 'it was safe.' I thought that was a really odd thing to say about a summer vacation."

"Did Todd ever mention someone named Michelle to you?" Susannah continued her questions.

"No, but I think he once called out that name in a dream. I remember thinking she was some chick ol' Todd never told his good buddy Zack about. I meant to ask him about her but I forgot."

"Did he ever mention anything about being in the woods or about being cold or a loud noise or a red room or a bat?" Susannah could see a surprised look on Zack's face.

"Jesus! I forgot all about that. How'd you know? Oh, that's right. You're a shrink. You get paid to know. Yeah, Todd once had like the worst nightmare of his life. I mean even the house mother came running up to his room he was screaming so bad and those are some of the things he was screaming about. When she tried to wake him up, he just kept screaming about being cold and about it being too loud and not wanting to be in the red room. He kept screaming that it hurt. He was screaming something like, 'not here! Mama took me for a picnic here. Not here! I can't tell him mama took me for a picnic.' Alice, the housemother, was going to call a doctor when Todd just snapped out of it. Man, was he embarrassed when he saw all the faces staring at him from outside the door. He had no idea what had just happened and he was really freaked. Funny, but I forgot all about that until you just mentioned it. Well, Doc, did I do well? Do I get a glowing report from you telling the warden how helpful I was?"

"Thank you Zack, yes, you have been helpful. I'm going to leave my card with the guard outside. If you think of anything else that you may have forgotten please call me. My service can always get a hold of me." Susannah stood up.

"Hey! Don't forget to tell ol' Todd his good buddy Zack says hello. Tell him how well I'm doing rotting away here while he lives the good life."

"Thanks again," Susannah said coldly. She handed her card to the guard to give to Zack and she left." 'A Picnic,' she thought, 'if I can get Todd or one of the alters to remember where his mother used to take him for a picnic maybe we would also find out where Michelle is buried?'

**********************************

Tom was out and in the day room with Sam when Susannah got back. The girls had apparently gone back to their mother as Todd's body slept. Sam had brought Tom some pizza. Susannah notice only a couple of bites had been eaten before it was pushed away. Sam and Tom were sitting on the floor putting together a 3-D Camelot puzzle.

"Wow! That's really something," Susannah praised as she looked at the puzzle.

"You came back!" Tom exclaimed. He jumped up and hugged Susannah.

"Of course I came back. Honey, didn't you know I would?"

Tom shrugged his shoulders and confessed, "I thought you went far away and I wouldn't be able to find you."

"Noooo. Tom, I promise, I will always come back. When you and Sam finish your puzzle would you like to come to my office and talk to me some more?"

"I was there a long time ago . . ." Tom was confused with time again. Then he remembered his watch. He pressed the button and a voice gave the date and time. "It was only this morning that I was there?" He seemed surprised.

Susannah was glad that the watch she bought him was helping him establish his time frames a little better. "That's right honey. It was just this morning. It seems like a long time ago to me too," Susannah admitted.

Tom thought for a moment and then, smiling at his ability to remember it, he said, "I brought my truck, right?"

"That's right. If you like you can bring it back with you again," Susannah suggested.

Tom and Sam finished the puzzle and he got his truck and went to Susannah's office with her. Sam and Viki took the opportunity to go to the cafeteria.

Tom was looking at a new plant Susannah had in her office. It came while she was out. Larry Wolek had sent it over.

"Is it going to grow up to be real big?" Tom asked.

"I hope so," Susannah replied.

"Me too."

"You too what, honey?"

"I'm going to grow up to be real big and real strong. If you're real big too then big people can't hurt you,"

"I'll bet it's really scary to be little and to have someone real big hurt you," Susannah stated and then asked. "Tom do you think your dad was once a little boy and someone big hurt him?"

"No, my dad was always big," Tom responded.

"It probably seemed that way, but once your dad was a little boy, too. Do you remember your grandpa?"

"Grandpa Ed?"

"That's right. Do you remember when he used to come visit you and your mom and dad?"

Tom nodded.

"Did you like it when he came to visit?"

"He brought me a book about Florida and a t- shirt with a dolphin on it. I wanted to take the book to school for show and tell."

"Did you?" Susannah inquired.

Tom looked down and shook his head.

"How come you didn't?" Susannah pressed.

Tom didn't answer her.

"Tom you can tell me, it's okay. Why didn't you take the book to school?" Susannah persisted.

"My hand hurts," Tom started crying. He was holding his right hand limply and waving it back and forth.

"Tom, tell me what happened to your hand. How did it get hurt?"

"It got held in the fire. It hurts! It hurt's," he sobbed in anguish.

Susannah reached for his hand but he pulled it back.

"Noooo! Don't touch it. It's burned. It'll hurt if you touch it."

"Honey, shhhhh. Your hand isn't burned. That happened a long time ago," Susannah tried to orient him.

"It hurts," Tom insisted.

"I know it feels like it just got burned. Tom, look around. There's no fire here."

Tom pointed to one of the walls in Susannah's office. "There's the fireplace. It's over there."

"Tom, describe the room to me," Susannah asked.

Tom's description matched a picture he has once drawn of the living room of the Chicago house where he grew up. Susannah knew he was caught between the present and a flashback of how his hand was burned.

"Tom, you are in my office. Honey, you are not back in the house in Chicago. There is no fireplace here and no one is burning your hand."

"Yes they are. They're holding my hand in the fire. They made me burn the presents Grandpa brought and now they're holding my hand in the fire," Tom cried in between yelps of pain.

Tom's hand was out straight in front of him, as if it was being held in that position.

"Who're 'they' Tom? Who's holding your hand in the fire?"

"The bad hands are," Tom answered. His face scrunched up in pain.

"No honey, listen to me," Susannah put her arm around him and gently stroked his head. "You are in my office. Only you and I are here. The bad hands aren't here. There is no fireplace. That was in the house in Chicago. Tom who am I?"

He looked at her for a minute. He looked confused. Susannah could tell he was having trouble figuring out who she was. He was becoming more and more caught-up in the flashback and the reality of her office was slipping away. Susannah took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "Tom, it's Doctor Hanen. I want you to look at me and tell me who I am."

"Doctor Hanen is far away," Tom wept.

"No honey, it just seems that way because a part of you is back in your old house." Susannah took his "uninjured" left hand and put it on her right cheek. "Tom do you feel my face?"

He hesitated for a minute and then nodded.

"I'm right here Tom. You can feel my face. Try to pull yourself to me. Pull away from the room with the fireplace."

It took another couple of minutes. Susannah could see Tom struggling to leave the Chicago house for the safety of her office. Finally, he relaxed a little. He still held his hand in an awkward position.

"Honey, can I see your hand. I'll try to make it stop hurting," Susannah offered.

Tom cautiously held his hand out for Susannah to see. She gently took it in both of hers.

"It's burned," Tom wept. He winced in pain.

"Tom I'm going to rub my hand over yours and when I do it will be all healed and it will stop hurting," Susannah suggested. Susannah held his hand in her left one and gently rubbed her right hand over it.

Tom looked surprised. "It stopped hurting, you fixed it!" Tom put his head on Susannah's shoulder and added, "I wish you were my mom."

"Tom, I would be very proud to be your mom. Do you know you're very special?"

"I am?" Tom couldn't believe that.

"Yes honey you are. You're very, very smart and you're talented. You draw very well. You are the best video game player in the whole world . . ."

"I am?" Tom asked, with a giant smile on his face.

"You certainly are. Everyone is very proud of you," Susannah assured him.

"Do you think Coach is proud of me?"

"Oh Tom, Sam is very proud of you and he loves you very, very much. He says so all the time."

"He does?" Tom asked, with amazement in his voice.

"He does, honey, so does Viki. Everyone loves you. You are a very good boy."

Tom suddenly became sad. "How come my dad hates me? I love him. I wish I knew how to be good enough for him to love me?"

Tom suddenly pulled away from Susannah. The laugh Susannah heard chilled her to the bone. "Very good Doctor. Very good," he said, applauding. "You really got that stupid child to believe you. I hope Todd's sister is paying you enough."

Susannah would know that face and voice anywhere. "He should believe me. Sam and Viki do wish they were Tom's parents. They love all the children and Todd very much. They are very proud of them."

"Oh, and they do have so much to be proud of, " he stated sarcastically. "Let's see if I can count the ways? Are they proud of the fact that he is locked in a loony bin? Or, perhaps it's his illustrious prison record? Or maybe his successful marriages?"

"Are you the one who came out the other day? The day Todd was having a session with Ryan?" Susannah asked.

"What do you think!" He sneered.

"I think you are," Susannah confirmed.

"Well you must have graduated at the head of your class," he snapped sarcastically. He once again, checked his pockets.

"There are no cigarettes," Susannah informed him.

"Oh yes, we wouldn't want Todd to develop any habits that might ruin his health," he remarked sarcastically and laughed to himself.

"Do you have a name?" Susannah inquired.

"Doesn't everyone?" he feigned innocence.

"Are you Saber?" Susannah guessed.

He looked at her coldly. "You don't want to know too much about me Doctor, for your own sake."

"I think I'll take my chances," Susannah responded.

"Well! She has an attitude." he commented with a cold smile.

"Are you Saber?" Susannah repeated.

"Why do encourage that stupid child to believe things that aren't true? Is that your idea of being kind?" Saber asked.

"Tom is loved by everyone and Viki and Sam do wish they were his parents," Susannah insisted.

"They wouldn't if they knew him."

"I think they know him quite well," Susannah stated firmly.

"Do they know that he and the others have been a curse to the world since the day they were born?" Saber asked coldly.

"Why do you hate Tom and Todd and the others so much? What have they done to you?"

"They still exist. They breathe. They walk the earth. That is reason enough," Saber replied.

"No, that is not a reason to hate someone. What specifically did Todd and the others do to you?" Susannah pressed.

"Todd's going to end up going back to prison you know. Pretty clever of me, wouldn't you say?"

Susannah looked at him closely. There really was no anger in his eyes, just hatred. "No, Saber, if that's your name. I don't think it was clever of you. If Todd goes to jail, so do you. If Todd or any of the others die, so do you."

"I always have my means of escape," he bragged.

"You may believe that, but you are in Todd's body. Whatever happens to Todd's body, happens to you."

"Are you sure you don't happen to have a cigarette hidden around here somewhere?" Saber looked around the room.

"Yes, I'm sure," Susannah replied.

"Perhaps I can get Sam to bring me some? He will do anything for his son," Saber placed a sarcastic emphasis on the word son.

"He won't do that," Susannah stated calmly and firmly.

"And why is that, Doctor?" Saber's tone was that of being amused, rather than angry.

"Because I don't want Todd to smoke. He has too many other medical conditions to be harming his body that way."

"Oh, I see. So you are in charge to Todd's body. You think your will can keep him alive." Saber looked directly into Susannah's eyes.

"I think I can certainly try," Susannah responded.

Saber smiled coldly. "That's fine. There is only one problem with that, Doctor Hanen. I have a will too and if we put them up against each other, I think you will lose."

"Oh that horrible man. Doctor Hanen you must protect Todd and the children from him."

"Miss Perkins?" The sudden switch shocked Susannah.

"Yes. I am sorry to come unannounced but I had to warn you. Saber is very dangerous. Please keep him away from Todd and my children."

"Miss Perkins, I'm happy that you came out. I have been wanting to speak with you. Would you like to sit down?"

"I'm afraid I really don't have the time now. I just came to warn you."

"Please, Miss Perkins. I just have a few questions I need to ask you."

"All right dear, but just a few. The children are alone."

"I'll make it brief. Miss Perkins, since the last time I spoke with you many other people," Susannah remembered Miss Perkins was offended by the term alters, "who live with Todd have come forward. You didn't seem to be aware of many of them."

"I have certain responsibilities. I care very much for the children I take care of," Miss Perkins' feelings were hurt. She felt Susannah doubted her ability to care for her children.

Susannah realized this. "Yes, I know you do and you have done a wonderful job of keeping them safe. I'm just a little confused and I thought you might be able to help me get some things straight in my mind," Susannah explained.

"I'll do my best to help you, dear," Miss Perkins offered.

"Miss Perkins, do you know Goodone and Carol?"

"No dear, I don't."

"What about Scared and Braver, or Lisa and Sarah?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know them either. I really must me going now." Miss Perkins was clearly in a rush to leave.

"Wait, just one more minute, please, Miss Perkins."

"All right dear, one minute, but then I must get back."

"Thank you," Susannah replied and quickly continued. "When Todd goes away do you know where he is?"

"He hides. I'm sure I told you that long ago. My memory may not be what it used to be. However I do remember telling you that."

"Yes, Miss Perkins, you did. I was just wondering if you had any idea where Todd goes when he hides?"

"No dear, I'm sorry I don't. Occasionally, if he is not hiding too far away, I can get him to show himself, but that is rare."

"Do you know Thomas?" Susannah asked.

"Thomas is not one of my children. I do know him," Miss Perkins admitted and then confessed. I do not like my children to associate with him."

"Why is that?" Susannah pressed.

"My children get hurt enough. I don't want them to get hurt any more than they have to."

"What does Thomas do that would cause your children to be hurt more than they have been?" Susannah inquired.

"Thomas is very angry. He is a bad influence on my children. I prefer not to discuss him."

"All right, just one more question. Do you know Andy?" Susannah studied Miss Perkins closely for her reaction.

"I really must be going. Nice to have seen you again Doctor Hanen."

"Is Kevin coming to see me today?"

Susannah knew Timmy was now sitting in front of her. "I don't think so sweetie. Maybe he'll be coming by tomorrow."

She could see he was disappointed. Susannah sat on the couch next to Timmy. He immediately cuddled up to her. She put her arm around him and asked. "Timmy, do you remember going on picnics with mommy?"

Timmy put his head in Susannah's lap. His back was facing her. He put his index and second finger in his mouth, something he only did when he was frightened.

"Sweetie," Susannah asked, stroking his head and bending over so she could see his face, "is something scaring you? Was it what I asked you?"

His fingers muffled Timmy words. Susannah couldn't understand. She took his hand and gently pulled his fingers from his mouth. "I can't understand you when you have your fingers in your mouth, sweetie. Can you tell me what you said, again?"

"Don't tell daddy."

"Don't tell daddy what?" Susannah pushed for more information.

"That mommy tooked me for a picnic. He'll hit mommy."

"Why does daddy get so mad?"

"He don't like mommy to take me places."

"Timmy, do you remember where it was that mommy took you for the picnics?"

"Far away."

Susannah realized a four-year-old's concept of "far away" could be just a few blocks. "Do you remember how long it took you to get there?"

"A really long time. Mommy sang songs with me. Don't tell daddy," Timmy repeated his plea.

"No Timmy, I won't tell daddy. Do you remember what the picnic ground looked like?" Susannah prodded gently.

"It was real quiet and had lots of grass and trees. Some trees as big as Andy's. It's okay to talk about Andy now, right? He wasn't killded?"

"No, sweetie. Andy wasn't killed. You can talk about him all you want. Who told you not to talk about Andy?"

"Where's Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda?" Timmy whimpered.

"They're in your room," Susannah assured him. She noticed he changed the subject. "We'll go back there for them soon, okay?" she promised as she stroked his head.

Timmy nodded.

Trying one more time, Susannah asked, "Timmy, do you remember if the picnic ground had a name? Did mommy call it by a special name."

Timmy nodded again. "Mommy called it 'Our Paradise.' She said, do you want to go to 'Our Paradise' today? She would make me Fluffernutters and bring milk and mommy drank orange soda instead of the smelly soda. Mommy smiled and laughed when we were there. Mommy doesn't smile or laugh at home. I loved going to Our Paradise. Don't tell daddy."

Susannah bent down and stroked the hair out of his eyes. "No, sweetie, no one will tell daddy."

"He's crying. I don't like it when he cries," Timmy whimpered. He turned over and buried his face in Susannah's stomach. He put his hands over his ears.

Susannah rubbed his back and took his left hand off his ear and held it. "Who's crying Timmy?"

"I don't know. I don't want to hear it. It scares me," Timmy was now weeping himself.

Susannah was reasonably sure it was the other Todd that Timmy was hearing. "Sweetie, do you think you can ask him why he's crying?"

"I don't know where he is," Timmy answered as tears fell from his eyes.

"All right, Timmy. Shhhh, it's okay, sweetie," Susannah stroked his head until he calmed down.

"Timmy, I want you to relax and take some deep breaths," Susannah instructed.

Timmy did as she asked.

Susannah was able to quickly get him into a trance. "Timmy, can you hear me?

Timmy nodded.

"Can you still hear the crying?"

He nodded again. His muscles tightening slightly.

"It's all right, sweetie. The boy who's crying won't hurt you. He's just frightened and sad. Timmy, I want you to go inside and look for the boy who's crying. I want you to ask him if he'll come out and talk to me."

"I'm scared," Timmy protested.

"Why are you scared, sweetie?"

"Miss Perkins says not to listen to him. She holds us when we hear him and covers our ears."

"Timmy, I know Miss Perkins protects you when you're inside, but you're with me now and I wouldn't ask you to do something that would hurt you. It's safe to go look for the boy who's crying. If you find him, he won't hurt you. He's scared, too."

"Maybe he can't find his mommy?" Timmy reasoned.

"Maybe he can't, sweetie. Maybe we can help him. Do you think we can do that, hmmm?" Susannah gently rubbed his back as she spoke.

"I'll go. I don't want him to be sad and all alone," Timmy volunteered. He turned over on his back.

Susannah could see his eyes moving under his closed lids.

"It gets louder by the basement," Timmy said, after several minutes.

"Can you go to the basement and look for him?"

"Noooo! I'm scared to go down there. Not since Randy runned away. Please don't make me!"

"Okay, Timmy. Shhhhh. It' all right. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. Would you be less afraid if I went down to the basement with you and we looked for the boy together?"

"You can go with me?" Timmy was surprised.

"Sure," Susannah confirmed. She took his hand in hers. "Can you feel me holding your hand?"

Timmy nodded.

"Timmy, I want you to see me standing next to you. Can you see that, sweetie?"

He nodded again.

"All right, now we are going to go to the basement together. Are you ready?"

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he jumped off Susannah's lap and the couch. Todd's body quickly became dizzy and fell down. Susannah heard his head hit the carpeted floor, hard.

Susannah rushed to him to see if he hurt himself. She recognized the expression on his face and the intense pain in his eyes. She knew it was the teenage Todd. The Todd who was there the night Michelle died.

Todd backed away from her. He tried to get up again but still felt too dizzy and weak to lift himself so he pulled his knees up and hugged them to his chest. He buried his head in them.

"Todd, is that you?" Susannah asked.

He began to tremble and sob softly.

"Todd, if that's you, it's okay to be out. No one will hurt you. It's safe here. Todd, I need to look at your eyes. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you. Todd?" Susannah gently stroked his head.

He pulled away and tried to stand again, but couldn't.

"Todd, listen to me. I'll help you stand up if you want. The other Todd's body has been sick and that's why you feel kind of dizzy and weak. It's nothing to be afraid of. You got up too quickly and became dizzy. That's why you fell down. Todd, I have to look at your eyes. I won't touch you if you don't want me to, but I need you to lift your head up and open your eyes for me. Do you think you can do that?"

Todd lifted his tear stained face and looked at her. "That's very good. Now I'm going to shine this light in your eyes. It won't hurt. Is that okay?"

He nodded.

His pupils were equal and reactive.

"Does your head hurt?" Susannah inquired.

He shook his head.

"Is your stomach upset?

He shook his head again.

"Is it all right if I feel the back of your head to see if there is a bump?"

He nodded.

"No bump," Susannah said, taking her hand away. "Todd, that is you isn't it?"

He nodded once again. Todd took Susannah's hand in both of his and begged, "please, don't go down to the basement. I don't want you to die."

"Todd I won't die if I go to the basement. There is no one there that can hurt me or you anymore."

"Yes! He's there. He's always there. Please! Please don't go there," he pleaded and started to cry and tremble again.

"All right, Todd, I promise. I'm not going there now. I promise. No basement."

"Please let me go back inside."

"I will, Todd. I just need to ask you a few questions. Do you want to sit on the couch or in a chair?"

He shook his head.

Susannah sat down on the floor, facing him. "Todd," she began cautiously, "I need to ask you some questions about the night Michelle came to your house."

He brought his knees back to his head again and held on to them tightly.

"Todd, I know it frightens you to think about that night, but the other Todd is in a lot of trouble and maybe you can answer some questions that might help him. Do you know which direction your father drove when he took you to the woods that night?"

Todd's crying got louder and his trembling stronger.

"All right, Todd. It's all right, honey. I want you to relax and listen to my voice."

Todd continued to weep and tremble. Susannah could not get him into a relaxed state.

"Todd." Susannah stroked his head, lightly. "Todd would you like to lie down on the couch, so you can relax?"

He shook his head.

Susannah realized he was much too tense and frightened to go into a trance state at this time. "All right, Todd, I won't ask you any questions right now, but honey . . . Todd, I want you to listen to me. I won't force you to do anything. I promise. When you go back inside, I want you to just think about coming out and talking to me. We can just talk a little and then if you want to stop we can. If you relax, I can try to make it easier for you to talk to me. I can try to make the questions not hurt so much. We don't have to do it now. You can go back. I just want you to think about coming out to see me again some other time. Maybe you can let someone else know where you're hiding or you can go to them and they can help you to come out," Susannah suggested.

Susannah saw he was too frightened to really hear what she had to say. She hoped some of it got through. "All right, Todd. It's okay, honey. You can go back inside now if you want to."

Todd slowly raised his head. He looked at Susannah with frightened pleading eyes. "Promise you won't go to the basement?"

"I promise, Todd. I won't go there."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Todd's eyes opened, Susannah knew he couldn't see her. His hands shot out in front of him.

"Todd, it's Doctor Hanen. You're in my office and you're safe. You're sitting on the floor near my couch."

Todd reached down and felt the floor. He cried out, "Viki!"

Susannah could see his chest rise and fall quickly as his breathing became more rapid. She knew he was in panic mode. "Todd, Viki had to go home for just a little while. She'll be back very soon. Sam is in the lounge. Do you want me to take you to him?"

"Viki went away. She went away forever," he whispered to himself.

"No, Todd Viki just went home for a couple of hours. She is coming right back, in fact she should be here very soon," Susannah looked at her watch. "Todd, I need to step right outside my office for a couple of seconds. I'll be right back. Is that okay?"

Todd looked frightened, but he nodded in agreement. Carl and Dave were waiting right outside the door. She asked Dave to step inside and asked Carl to go get Sam, Marcia and Connie.

Todd was sitting cross-legged with his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. He was rocking and whispering to himself, seemingly unaware of Susannah and Dave's presence. "Mama, mama, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. Mama, I'm so scared. Please don't leave me with him. Mama, I'm sorry I'm bad. Please tell me what to do to be good. MAMAAAA, PLEEEEZE!" Todd was escalating quickly and getting more agitated by the second.

"Todd, listen to me. It's Doctor Hanen. You are in my office. Mama is not here. Sam will be here in a few seconds. Viki will be here very soon. Mama didn't leave because you were bad. She left because she was frightened and weak. She left because of the way your father treated her. Not because of what you did. Mama loved you, Todd. She just wasn't strong enough to stand up for herself and you. Viki will never leave you. Viki is strong. No matter what happens, Viki will not leave you."

Todd stopped rocking. He was still holding himself tightly. Sam, Carl and Connie stepped into Susannah's office. Sam headed straight for Todd.

"He's upset about Viki not being here. He seems to have calmed down a little," Susannah whispered to Sam.

Sam immediately went to Todd and knelt down to where Todd sat on the floor. "Hey pal, it's okay. Viki will be right back," Sam stated comfortingly. He put his arms around Todd.

Todd reached out and felt Sam's face. "Sam, is that really you?"

"Yes, Todd, it's me pal, it's me."

"Sam, you have to find Starr. He's going to hurt her," Todd whispered. Todd was holding on so tightly to Sam that he could feel Todd's fingernails through his suit jacket.

"Who's gonna hurt Starr, pal?"

"I don't know his name. He yells at me sometimes but he told me this quietly. He said I couldn't stop him. Sam, go find Starr. She's gonna be hurt because of me." Todd became quiet for a few seconds. He seemed to be listening to someone. Suddenly he started to cry out," I want to see Blair. Get Blair. Get Blair!"

Sam looked at Susannah.

"Todd, I will call Blair if you want to see her. No one is going to hurt Starr. She is with Blair and she's safe," Susannah assured him.

"NO! Blair can't stop him. She'll go away and leave Starr. He'll hurt Blair too if he has to. Get Blair. I want to see Blair. GET BLAIR! GET BLAIR!"

"All right Todd. I'll call Blair for you. First you need to calm down," Susannah spoke gently but firmly.

"Sam! Please, don't let him hurt Starr. Don't make her go home to him. Let Starr stay with you. Please, Sam! Sam! Sam! Promise me you won't let him hurt Starr. He's going to take her to the woods. It's dark and cold. Can't you feel how cold it is? It's so cold. Sam! It's never warm. It's never light. Blair left Starr. She's never going to come back and now Starr is all alone. I love her Sam. I love her more than anything. Don't let him hurt her. He's too strong. She's just a little girl. I have to stop him." Todd was having difficulty catching his breath. He tried to stand.

"All right, Boomer. Calm down. I'll protect Starr. I promise. I'll protect Starr and I'll protect you." Sam tried to assure and comfort him.

"NO! NO! YOU WON'T!" Todd shrieked as he tried to pull away from Sam's hold, "YOU'LL MAKE HER GO HOME TO HIM. YOU'LL LET HIM HURT HER," Todd screamed and sobbed at the same time. "SAM, YOU WON'T PROTECT HER."

Sam was devastated. He knew Todd's subconscious was remembering that he hadn't protected him from Peter. Todd remembered that Sam sent him home, day after day, to be tortured.

"I have to go. Tell Briggs I'm leaving. I have to go home to protect Starr. Blair left and he's hurting her. Tell Briggs!" Todd ordered and then using every bit of strength in his weakened body he pulled himself away from Sam and pulled himself up off the floor. With his arms stretched out in front of him, he tried to feel his way to the door.

"Why is it so dark in here? Briggs, why is it so dark in here? Where's the door?"

They knew Todd was completely detached from reality. He had no idea where he was or what was going on. Susannah motioned for Dave and Carl to approach Todd.

"Todd," Susannah began, "it's Doctor Hanen. You are not at the paper. You are in my office. Starr is not in any danger. You need to calm down and let us take you to your room. Everything is going to be all right. You need to rest now." She put her hand on his arm.

"NO!" Todd screamed and backed away from her.

Susannah nodded to Carl and Dave.

"Okay, Todd. Hey, buddy, it's me Dave. Carl is here, too. We're going to help you get back to your room so you can lie down for a while," Dave and Carl each took Todd by the arm.

"NO! NO!" he screamed, trying in vain to pull away from them.

Susannah was afraid he was going to have to be restrained again. She hated to do that to him, but she knew his body could not take much more of this. Susannah gave Connie an order for a sedative. She immediately left to get it.

"Calm down, Todd, we won't hurt you. Come on. You know us," Carl tried to orient him.

"NO! HE SENT YOU DIDN'T HE! HE WON'T LET IT BE QUIET AND NOW HE SENT YOU TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM STARR! LET GO! LET GO! DAMN YOU! LET GO OF ME!" He shrieked, as he tried with all his might to pull away from their strong grip. "MAMA! MAMA! HELP ME! MAAAAMAAAA!" Todd screamed as his knees buckled.

They lowered him to the floor.

Todd sat back on his heels and threw his head back. "WHYYYYY? WHYYYYY? TELL ME WHAT I DID! MAMA, PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT I DIIIIID!"

The shrieks seemed to emit from the very core of his soul. Todd then became quiet for a minute. They could tell he was hearing something. He suddenly bent over and started to hit his head against the floor with all his strength. Carl, Susannah, Dave and Marcia quickly restrained him and then immobilized him. Connie injected the sedative.

"He's angry because I'm still here. I did it. I did it. I did it. I make every bad thing happen. I made mama leave. Starr got hurt because of me. They all did. They all did," he wept softly to himself as the sedative started to take effect.

"Todd, it's going to be okay. Starr is fine," Susannah spoke reassuringly.

"No, I did it. Mama, it's so dark. I'm scared. Mama," Todd whimpered.

Viki had been let onto the unit just as they were just transporting Todd back to his bed.

"My God! What happened." Viki asked when she saw an obviously sedated and restrained Todd being wheeled back to his room.

"He came back and became extremely upset and agitated. He was hurting himself," Susannah informed her.

"It was because I wasn't here. Wasn't it?"

"Viki, you can't be here twenty-four hours a day. Todd came out and quickly lost touch with reality. He had no idea where he was. He thought one of the voices he hears was going to hurt Starr. He even wanted us to call Blair." Sam explained.

"He wanted his mama, didn't he? That's what set him off, isn't it. He wanted his mama and I wasn't here for him. Oh God, Sam, I wasn't here for him," Viki chastised herself as tears poured down her cheeks.

Sam took her in his arms and held her. He wanted her to know she wasn't alone in feeling guilt. "Todd also said he knew I wouldn't protect Starr, that I would let her go back to him, to the voice and I would let him hurt her. God, Viki! You think you failed him because you went home for a couple of hours? I've failed him all his life. He's right. I didn't protect him. I did send him home. I sent him home to be beaten and burned and raped over and over and over again. I sent him home," Sam broke down in tears. He and Viki held on to each other tightly, each trying to comfort the other while drowning in their own feelings of guilt.

Susannah came out of Todd's room. "He's very weak. All the alters that have been out today and what Todd himself has just experienced have taken its toll. Todd's blood pressure is low. His pulse is rapid," Susannah informed them. Just as a precaution, Susannah ordered a heart monitor put in place.

It seemed like this day started a hundred years ago. Susannah was so tired. She remembered what Saber had said to her. "A contest of wills." Susannah felt a sudden surge of energy. 'All right Saber. If that's what you want. You may have won this round, but you have never come up against my will before. Peter couldn't destroy Todd and I won't let you destroy him either,' Susannah thought to herself and then went to comfort Sam and Viki.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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