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The fresh warm air felt good on Pete's skin. He hated being indoors; he hated being confined in any way. He looked around the estate. "Llanfair," he thought, "with it's well kept, manicured lawns and its gazebos and all that crap. Well, Viki can have it. If that pervert who fathered Todd had given him the deed to this place I would have thrown it in his face." Pete thought about the look on Viki and that woman doctor's face when he had come out and laughed to himself. He knew the element of surprise had been on his side. "And that moron Tom, what the Hell was he thinking telling them about us? Well, I took care of him!" Pete thought. Pete felt like going someplace for a drink. He wanted to celebrate his victory over Viki and her friend, the shrink. He noticed a garage in distance. Hot wiring one of Viki's cars was no problem for Pete and he was soon on his way to have some fun, but first he had to make one stop. He had to stop to get his wife.

Tea had been staying at the Palace Hotel, because Blair had been staying at the penthouse with Starr. Tea was doing what she had been doing for days now, thinking about her husband and thinking about what she should do. She loved Todd. She wanted a life with Todd, but it seemed to her that her dream was becoming less obtainable every day. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health," Tea thought. She knew that if the situation was reversed, Todd would stick by her, but how could she be with him now? "Would it even be good for him to be with me," she thought, out loud. She was glad that she wouldn't have to make that decision for a while, as the court had ordered him to stay with Viki.

Pete knew Tea was not really his wife, but he liked to think of her as if she were, actually he thought of her as "his woman." She was much more his type than Blair was, so much so, that he had left Blair pretty much to Rodd and Todd. "Not that Todd knows what to do with a woman," Pete thought. He didn't come out too much when Todd had been married to Blair, except, when he became furious upon discovering Blair lied to Todd about being pregnant and right after Todd had come back from Ireland. Pete remembered how Todd, after seeing Blair on the floor with Patrick Thornhart, had gone back out into the hallway feeling like he had been kicked in the stomach, like he was about to throw up, his head spinning. Pete knew Todd couldn't handle that situation so he had forced his way out the way he usually did, by shouting at Todd, terrifying him and making his head hurt.

Like the others, Pete knew he had a job and that job was to help and protect Todd, but Pete resented it. He had his own agenda and he was tired of being tied down to Todd and the rest of them. Secretly, even from the other alters, Pete always believed that he could survive alone even if something happened to Todd. In fact, he believed that all his problems were because of Todd and that if he could get rid of Todd, he, and the others could be free.

Tea kept the radio on for company while she was in the shower. It was funny, even though Todd was not home much during their marriage, and certainly wasn't one for conversation when he was, now alone in her room, Tea could not stand the silence. She kept the radio or TV on all the time. With the shower running and the radio blaring, Tea did not hear the door to her hotel room open.

"Good thing Todd had some credit cards in his pocket," Pete thought. "Never leave home without it," Pete laughed to himself. When he entered the room, he heard the shower running. Pete liked to intimidate women. He liked making them feel powerless and frightened. Tea was no exception.

Tea turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She reached for the towel and screamed when, instead of touching the towel rack, she felt someone's arm. Tea was shocked to see her husband standing there. "Todd, what are you doing here! You scared me to death!" Tea screamed, at her husband. Then, trying to compose herself, she asked in a calmer voice, "Aren't you supposed to be at Viki's? You're not supposed to be wondering around town, Todd." Then Tea noticed the way Todd was looking at her and she quickly covered herself with the towel that had fallen to the floor.

Pete had seen Tea naked before, the night of the blizzard. She ended up being thrown out into the snow that night. "She had tried to force Todd that night," Pete thought and that had made him very angry. Pete hated to be forced into anything, including having feelings or emotions; in fact, the only emotion Pete was comfortable with was rage.

Now as Tea stood naked before him again, he thought, "Maybe now it will be my turn to do the forcing."

Tea looked into her husband's eyes, to her horror, armed with the knowledge Viki had given her, she realized it wasn't Todd. She had seen these eyes before. Trying to sound calm, Tea asked, "Do Viki or Sam know you're here?"

"No, only you know," Pete answered, smiling.

"Then why don't we call Viki so she won't worry," Tea suggested, as she tried to step past him and out of the bathroom.

"Nice try Delgado, but no cigar," Pete declared, with an amused look on his face. "But we can go inside, it's too hot in here."

Tea pulled her robe around her as they walked out of the bathroom. Tea was now sure this wasn't Todd. "Who are you?" She thought, "and what do you want?"

Pete stretched out on the bed and asked, "You got anything to drink? A beer or something?"

Tea shook her head and offered, "I can call room service. If you like or we can go out?"

Pete knew she was trying to trick him somehow, but he didn't care. He wanted to go out. He always liked to make the best of the time he had when he was out. Sharing, was not one of Pete's favorite things and he hated that he had to share Todd's body with the others. "Okay Delgado. Let's go out."

Tea was relieved. If they were around other people, she would be safe. Tea noticed that Pete did not watch while she got dressed. He had turned the TV on and was paying attention to that. For Pete, the fact that Tea had been frightened was enough for now and some of his rage had dissipated. Besides, it was that lady shrink he was really angry with. Doctor Hanen was a threat to his existence. Luckily, Pete didn't know yet that Susannah was Nora's sister. Pete had never forgiven Nora for throwing Todd to the wolves at the rape trial.

"I'm ready," Tea announced, wanting to get out of that room as fast as she could.

Pete stood up and took the car keys off the dresser where Tea had left them. "Let's take your car, after all I did buy it for you."

Tea did not want "Todd" to drive. "You look tired why don't you let me drive and you can relax," she offered.

"No." Pete said, with a smile.

Tea could not believe she never realized that this wasn't Todd. How could she have missed the look in those eyes? The coldness that was there now and on the other occasions that she was sure this alter had been there for. Tea was afraid, not only for herself, but also for Todd.

Pete made sure they pushed the elevator button for the lower level parking garage and not the hotel lobby. They got into the car, Pete started the ignition and they were off. Pete drove to a bar on the outskirts of Llanview, a place he liked that Todd didn't know about. Pete liked to have some things that were his, and his alone. He had even built a hidden shelf in Todd's closet so he could hide his stuff in there. He had laughed to himself when once, by accident, Todd had come upon the hidden area and really freaked when he saw all the things he couldn't remember buying, nor for that matter, did he know about the secret compartment.

Miss Perkins had been very upset with Pete over that incident. She warned him that she would not tolerate him hurting Todd in any way. "He owes me! He owes me big time!" Pete had told her. Like the others, Pete had always known it was his job to protect Todd but sometimes he just couldn't help himself. He needed to have a little fun and Pete had been taught by the master that torturing Todd was fun.

The bar was crowded and smoky. Pete was the only one of the alters who didn't hate the smell of cigarette smoke. "You never brought me here before," Tea commented. Pete gave no response. He walked to the bar and ordered two beers. Todd knew that Tea preferred wine.

After the drinks were served, Pete carried them to an empty table and he and Tea sat down. "So, how do you like living at Viki's?" Tea asked, as she tried to think of what to do next.

"It sucks!" Pete answered.

"You know your sister loves you very much, so does Sam," Tea said, trying to reach the good part of Todd.

"What about you Delgado? Do you love me?"

Tea noticed the mocking quality in "Todd's" voice when he said the word love. "I love the good parts of you," Tea responded.

"Bzzz, wrong answer, Delgado. What makes you think there are any good parts of me?"

"I've seen them; I've seen the good parts of you, Todd. I've seen the parts that are sweet and tender and generous and loving, the parts your father wasn't able to destroy."

The mention of Peter Manning filled Pete with rage. He jumped up and turned the table on it's side sending the beer glasses flying. "Don't you talk about my father, EVER!" Pete shouted, and with that, he grabbed Tea by the arm, hurting her. Then, just as suddenly, he released his grip and left the bar, leaving Tea standing there trembling.

Tea heard a car engine start and realized she had been left stranded. Still, relief flooded through her that she had not been hurt. The relief immediately turned to concern for Todd. Now he, or whoever this personality is, was out there, alone, and God only knew what he would do.

***********************

Sam Rappaport was greatly distressed by Viki's phone call. She told him what had happened during Todd's first session with Susannah. Sam headed over there and was with Viki when the phone rang.

"Viki, it's Tea, Todd came to my room tonight and well, I don't think it was Todd, but whoever it was really scared me. Not just for me, but for him. Viki, he was so cold and then he was totally out of control."

Viki could hear the fear in Tea's voice and after finding out where she was Viki said she or Sam would be there to pick her up right away. Viki told Sam what Tea told her and he said he would go and get her and start looking for Todd as soon as he dropped Tea off. He advised Viki to stay at home, in case Todd came back.

As Sam took the forty-five minute drive to the bar to pick up Tea, he thought about what Viki had told him about the alter that had been the last to come out. Even without seeing this alter Sam just knew that this is the one he met fourteen years ago, the one who had tried to kill Peter Manning.

Tea was waiting outside the bar when Sam drove up. She had to get out of there; she couldn't stand being stared at by the other customers. Todd had made quite a scene. Sam could see that Tea was very upset.

"Are you all right, did he hurt you?" Sam asked.

"Oh Sam, will any of us be all right ever again?" Sam could hear the desperation in Tea's voice.

"I know things look bad now, but you have to remember Todd just started therapy. It will take time," Sam said, trying to comfort himself, as well as Tea.

"Does Todd have time, or will he destroy himself before anyone can help him?" Tea asked, as tears started to pour down her cheeks.

************************

Pete pulled the car over. He knew he was going way beyond the speed limit ever since he pulled out of the parking lot and he was not in the mood to get stopped by a cop. Pete had wanted to drag Tea out with him and teach her not to mention Peter Manning again, but that old bat had interfered. Yeah, he knew Miss Perkins was there to help, but he really hated her thinking she could boss him around. "Nobody bosses me around. Nobody! Especially that lady shrink. If she thinks she's gonna get any power over me she's crazier than Viki. I'll kill Todd before I Iet her have any power over me," Pete said to himself.

************************

Sam dropped Tea off at The Palace, he was wondering how much more she would take before she wanted out of the marriage. Sam prayed that didn't happen because he knew Todd wouldn't be able to stand that. He remembered how Todd, after not being in contact with him for twelve years, had called him to help save his marriage. He remembered how proud he was of Todd the night he proposed to Tea in front of everyone. He knew how difficult that had to have been for Todd.

Sam's feelings had been hurt when Todd suddenly disappeared from his life and didn't contact him for all those years. Now, he felt extreme guilt because he knew he should have at least tried to make contact with Todd, especially when he found out how much trouble Todd had gotten into in college. Maybe if he had been there things would be different now. He didn't know that Todd and the others, after leaving Chicago, wanted to forget about everything they had ever been through. They had wanted to start fresh. Sam knew too many secrets.

Even so Todd had missed his friend, the only person who had shown Todd any love since his mom left. He thought about calling Sam several times, and had even started to on a couple of occasions, but never did. Not until he called him to save his marriage to Tea.

************************

Pete was getting tired and did not know what he wanted to do next. He did know the one thing he didn't want was to go back to Viki's. "Maybe I'll rent a room or drive to Philly," he thought. He knew they would be looking for him. "Why can't everyone just mind their own business? I've been the one to help Todd so far. I've been the only one with the guts to do what had to be done. I should have been given the Goddamn key to the city for getting that Gannon chick to confess. She would have let her whole stupid family rot in jail if it wasn't for me," Pete thought out loud. Pete knew why he could be strong, while the others were weak, because he had never been hurt by Todd's father. "That sick bastard knew better than to ever lay a finger on me. He knew I would kill him. He knew he couldn't count on Sam being there to stop me again," Pete said out loud.

Thinking about Peter brought Pete's anger to the surface again. "I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!" Pete raged, and without thinking punched his fist through the windshield of Tea's car.

************************

The first thing Todd felt was pain as he "woke up". He looked down at his right hand and saw that it was badly cut, with shards of glass stuck in it. He looked around and realized he was in a car, Tea's car. He saw that it was eight o'clock. He knew it was nighttime, because the sun was going down. He looked down at his clothes and saw they were covered with blood, but they were his clothes.

As he stepped outside the car to try to figure out where he was, he felt a wave of dizziness come over him and sat back down. He didn't know what day it was or if he was still in Llanview. He hated this feeling and didn't understand why it was happening so often now. Why was he "going away" so much.

Todd put on the radio and searched for an all news station, they would probably mention the date and where the program was being broadcast from. He was somewhat relieved after he was sure that this was still the same day he last remembered and that he was still in Llanview. He thought about calling Sam or Viki from the car phone, but didn't want to take the chance that they would figure out what had happened to him. He knew he had to find out where he was so he could get home. He figured he could still drive the car even though the windshield was broken, but didn't know if he could use his right hand. It was still hurting and bleeding badly.

Todd wondered if he had cut an artery or something. He knew he should get his hand checked out, but did want to go to the hospital. He hated being asked questions about how he got hurt. He tore off the sleeve of his shirt and wrapped it around his hand and started the car and reentered the roadway. Finally, he saw a saw a sign and had a pretty good idea where he was. He started in the direction of Llanfair, figuring he would patch his hand up himself with some stuff from Viki's medicine cabinet and just tell them he got into an accident with the car.

"Why," he wondered, was he driving Tea's car anyway? Then a frightening thought occurred to him. Where is Tea? Did he leave her somewhere? Did something happen to her? Was she waiting for him to bring her car back to her? He pulled over and called Tea's room. Relief flooded through him as he heard the familiar voice say, "Hello, hello, is anyone there?" Todd hung up. He wanted to talk to Tea, however, he had no idea why he had her car and he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

************************

Tea hung up the phone. "Todd," she whispered to herself, "was that you?" Tea called Viki and asked if Todd had come home yet.

Viki answered, "No, not yet. Sam is looking for him. Tea, did he say anything to you about where he was planning on going?"

"No Viki, I'm sorry he didn't. He'll be all right," Tea tried to sound assuring. Both she and Viki knew that probably would not be the case.

Viki remembered how some of her alters fought integration. She knew this alter would not go down without a fight. "Would he take Todd with him?" She wondered.

************************

Sam felt like he was just going in circles. He knew where Todd had started out. He also knew that he could have gone in any of several directions. It had been almost three hours since Todd had left the bar. He could be anywhere by now. Sam thought, "I'd better head back to Viki's I'll never find Todd . . . Pete . . . God! I can't believe this. How could Todd have been so ill and I missed it?"

In hindsight, Sam saw how Todd had given him lots of clues, but Sam never suspected, and now he could kick himself. He then reasoned that Todd or any of them would not go far without Starr. The one thing Sam was sure of was that no matter who Todd was, he loved his daughter. When Sam had first seen Todd with Starr he could not believe what a good father he was. How incredible it was that a boy who had been raised the way Todd was raised would become such a good parent Sam thought, as his eyes filled with tears, and his heart filled with love for Todd. He turned the car around and headed back to Viki's.

************************

Todd was about three miles from Llanfair. His hand was throbbing and bleeding badly. "I don't feel so good," he said out loud, as the road and the lights from the other cars faded away.

************************

Sam had been back at Viki's for about twenty minutes when the phone rang. It was the hospital. Todd had been brought in after a car accident. He had lost a lot of blood and they were having trouble getting him stabilized. The nurse Viki had spoken with said Todd was in shock and that he had gone into cardiac arrest at the site of the crash. The paramedics had to shock his heart back. As Sam and Viki drove to the hospital they didn't say much. Each was thinking the same thing. They had to stop Todd before he killed himself or someone else.

************************

Todd had been lucky. He had not been going too fast at the point he passed out and though his car veered off the road and hit a tree, the impact wasn't great. Todd had sustained a concussion, and two broken ribs. The most serious of his injuries was blood loss. When Viki and Sam arrived at the emergency room, they asked the nurse at the desk if they could see Todd Manning.

"The attending physician is right over there," the nurse pointed to a young doctor standing at the desk, filling out a chart.

"Doctor, my name is Viki Carpenter and this is Sam Rappaport. We're here for Todd Manning. I'm his sister."

"Todd is still unconscious, but not from his head injury. It seems he hurt his hand before the car crashed because he had tried to bandage it. He lost a lot of blood. The glass cut his radial artery and may have damaged the radial nerve as well. Todd's going to need microsurgery on his hand. We are just waiting for the vascular surgeon. It took us a while to stabilize him. He's still very weak."

"Can we see him?" Viki asked.

"Sure, just don't let him get too excited. His heart is still weak," the doctor cautioned.

Sam and Viki looked at Todd and then looked at each other. He looked so pale and helpless. Viki carefully reached over and smoothed his hair.

"Todd, it's Viki. Can you hear me? It's all right. Sam and I are here with you. You're going to be fine." As Viki said that, tears started down her cheeks. Sam stepped over to where she was and put his arm around her shoulder. Viki turned to face him and asked, "Sam, do you think he will ever be all right?" Sam held her as the tears kept coming. The two friends consoled each other, united in their concern over Todd.

Sam had gone to get coffee and Viki sat by the gurney, holding Todd's uninjured hand. Todd startled her as he asked, "What's going on? Where am I?"

Sam came in at this point and seeing Todd awake put the two containers of coffee he was holding down and rushed over to where Viki stood. "Hey Boomer, I'm glad you're back with us." Sam tried to sound light and cheery. Todd struggled to sit up and Sam gently pushed him back down. "Whoa Boomer, you can't get up. You've got a lot of equipment attached to you and you've lost a lot of blood."

Todd then remembered his hand and being in Tea's car. "Tea! Is Tea all right!" Todd asked, in a panicked tone.

"Tea is just fine pal. It's you we're worried about."

Todd relaxed slightly. He then realized how much pain he was in. His head hurt and he could hardly take a breath because of the pain in his ribcage. His hand hurt like Hell. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital. "I hate hospitals. I want to go home," Todd whimpered.

"I know," Viki acknowledged, putting her hand on his shoulder, "but you have to stay here for a couple of days at least. Your hand needs surgery. You also have a concussion and two broken ribs."

The doctor walked in at that point. "Well, I'm glad to see you're awake. You did quite a job on your hand. How did that happen? How did your hand get injured?"

Maybe it was the sight of the doctor in his white coat or the fact that Sam was standing over him, but in the blink of an eye Todd was gone and in his place was Timmy. Like the others, Timmy knew something really bad would happen "if you tell how you got hurt". Timmy tried to get up and the doctor and Sam held him back.

"Please, Mr. Manning! You're going to hurt yourself," the doctor said.

Hearing "Mr. Manning" the confused Timmy thought his father was in the room and became even more frightened. "No! No! I want to go home. I want my mommy!" Timmy cried out, struggling with Sam and the doctor.

Sam and Viki knew that Todd had become the child they had met in the jail cell. Before they had a chance to tell the doctor the problem Timmy had dislodged his IV and blood spurted from his vein.

"I want my mommy," the frightened child continued to cry. Timmy, perhaps because of the pain he was in due to Todd's injuries, saw Peter standing over him and felt Peter hitting him. It was as if it was happening right now. "I won't tell. I promise I won't tell. Don't hurt me! I'll be good, I promise," Timmy cried out as he thrashed about. His eyes filled with pain and fear.

Viki recognized what was happening and said, "Doctor, I know what's happening, he's having a flashback of something that happened when he was a child. My brother has DID."

"Diazepam, 10mg," the doctor called out. Additional staff came in to assist. "Todd this won't hurt. You'll just feel a little sting," the doctor said as he tried to inject the sedative into his struggling patient. "I want this patient put in restraints," the doctor ordered.

Finally, with Sam assisting in the restraint, they held Timmy down long enough for the sedative to be administered. It took effect quickly. Timmy calmed down and the room became quite again.

Viki stood by the gurney and stroked Timmy's hair. "Do you remember me sweetheart? We met a few days ago, my name is Viki." Timmy did remember her. She was that nice lady who reminded him of his mom.

Viki looked at a shaken Sam and said, "Sam, this is Timmy, we met him the other night."

Sam stood by Timmy and put his hand on the child's shoulder, "No one will hurt you Timmy, I swear it. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Timmy looked up at Sam and said, "You look crooked." He then looked around and said, "Everything looks crooked."

Sam smiled and said, "I think that's just the medicine they gave you, pal. Why don't you close your eyes and go to sleep for a little while."

"It hurts all over, and my hand hurts a lot," Timmy whispered.

"I know it does, sweetheart. The doctors are going to fix your hand soon and it won't hurt so much," Viki said, trying to comfort the child.

The IV technician came in to restart Timmy's IV. "No! I don't want a shot," Timmy cried out, but with Sam and Viki standing by him, comforting him, each with a hand on his shoulder, he stayed quiet and allowed the IV to be started.

"What a brave boy you are," Viki said to the sleepy child.

Timmy looked up at them and said to them both, "Could I be your little boy? Could you take me home with you? It would be okay with my daddy. He doesn't like me anyway," and then Timmy fell asleep.

Sam and Viki looked at each other, each seeing the sorrow in the other's eyes for this person they both loved so much, and each being glad the other was there for them, and for Todd.

TO BE CONTINUED

COPYRIGHT 1998 RS/RHFC