I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.
I'm so goth I use black cotton balls.
I'm so goth I dyed my shadow black.
I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."
I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.
I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.
I'm so goth I offered to sell my soul to the devil and he wouldn't take it!
I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.
I'm so goth I'm a mime.
I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.
I'm so goth I killed myself . . . twice.
I'm so goth my diapers were pvc.
I'm so goth I'm dead.
I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.
I'm so goth I look like Michael Jackson.
I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.
I'm so goth I think Jesus might have been a vampire.
I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.
I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.
I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.
I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.
I'm so goth I've been banned.
I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.
I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.
I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.
I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.
I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.
I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!
I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.
I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.
I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!
I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.
I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.
I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.
I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.
I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.
I'm so goth I wear pvc pajamas.
I'm so goth I'm catholic.
I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.
I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.
I'm so goth I was adopted by the Addams family.
I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.
I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.
I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
I'm so goth that when I was a kid I used to sit in a trashcan and pretend I was Oscar the Grouch.
I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.
I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears."
I'm so Goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.
I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.
I'm so goth I want to die die die my hair black.
I'm so goth I'm on the second stage of aloof . . . I'm "bloof."
I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown."
I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.
I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.
I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.
I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.
I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.
I'm so goth I make Richard Simmons sad.
I'm so goth I steal your Happy Meal.
I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin.
I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!
I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..."
I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs.