Title: Home Before Dark (1/1)

Author: Rez

Rating: NC-17

Timeline: Any time after 2.14, “Double Agent”

Summary: Syd takes a (Sark) detour.

Disclaimer: Alias and its characters are the property of J.J. Abrams/Bad Robot Productions.

Archive: Cover Me, Dark Enigma.

Feedback: Cherished: lo_rez @ adelphia.net

A/N: Thanks to Meghan—beta goddess—without whom, nothing.

 

 

 

 

Orly to LAX, final approach, almost noon of a February day. She took a pill, earlier, hoping to get some sleep, but that doesn’t work for her anymore. She’s frantic with boredom, wishing herself back in the gutters of Cairo, looking for her contact, heading for trouble. She tries to crank the headset but it won’t go any louder.

 

The airplane tilts, giving her a flash of the horizon over the Pacific, smudged and sulfurous: the Santa Ana’s blowing. Red Wind, she thinks, and she spins that into a riff on the reading list for a notional English comp class. Chandler. Or maybe a whole course: Traitors, Spies, and Private Eyes. Bowen, Conrad, Le Carré. The tedium of betrayal. Nasty little family dramas. But she pursues the thought. It gets her through the stifling queue, out of the airplane and into the terminal concourse.

 

It’s crowded. Customs, Immigration, and a nauseating cab ride still ahead, the haze of exhaust overpowering, with the offshore wind blowing. And home to an empty house. Or maybe not empty, but not filled with anything she wants anymore.

 

Friends whose love is—face it—pretty much irrelevant. The guilt that starts with Danny’s blood on her hands and just goes on forever. And then there’s Michael Vaughn: his murdered father, his stormy green eyes, the hopeless feeling that chokes her, lately, when they’re together.

 

The Bristow wolf-pack. The thought’s so familiar there’s a kind of detachment about it. Train wrecks a specialty.

 

And the worst is, it’s all so stale.

 

The job: for a while it was a drug, a total rush. Now it’s more like a joke—this latest travesty in Cairo not excepted. Dress up, sneak in, do the swap. Another alias, another cookbook op.

 

Hoping the whole time for just one excuse to kick the living shit out of someone. 

 

She sees herself choking, smothering; watches, coldly, her own flirtation with recklessness, with outright suicide. Don’t think about it. She sucks in a lungful of concourse air, tainted with jet fuel, and feels it burn. Just don’t think about it.

 

She puts her head down, moves with the crowd, not caring where she’s headed.

 

*

 

There’s a clank and a sudden drag on her progress: colliding carry-ons. The world snaps into focus. Lifting her head at random, she sees fair hair, dark suit, blue eyes, the hell? —Coming her way. Her whole body contracts. She’s miles from any conscious decision; all she knows is she was drowning a second ago, and it feels like someone’s just grabbed her and pulled her to the surface. She moves.

 

Wrenches the wheels free, no apology. Keeps a line on the blond, slipping crosswise through the stream of bodies. He stops at a door in the concourse, lifts a hand to the lock: Air France, première classe. The lock is green. Wait or move? —Not a hope she can stay with him, solo, once he comes out. If she wants to know what he’s doing here, she’ll have to ask. She sprints, dragging the damned carry-on, catches the door just before it locks behind him.

 

A uniformed beauty intercepts her, smiling but decisive. “Pardon, mademoiselle, il faut que je vous demande—”

 

Her quarry doesn’t react. He’s across the room, standing at the huge window, already on the phone. It’s him: the set of the shoulders, the easy balance, silhouetted in the hazy light. She shivers.

 

Pardon,” she interrupts. “Si vous me permettrez ...” Hesitates, lets embarrassment show. “I saw an old friend come in—” points with her chin. “I have only a few minutes, if you’ll allow me just to say hello …“

 

“Of course, mademoiselle.” But she knows she’ll be watched.

 

*

 

The adrenaline rush fades and now it’s all feeling very scattered. You’re losing it, Bristow. Sark’s always running all five ends against the middle; the man’s got more deals in play than even the Agency can track. Who cares what he’s doing here? Nobody’ll thank her for adding more gigabytes to that file. She’ll probably get a warning, in fact: freelancing again. Bad idea, Bristow. Check your watch, leave while he’s—

 

While he’s looking straight at you, speaking into the phone, utterly collected, totally focused.

 

Blue. Eyes.

 

Jesus.

 

The attendant’s watching, so she smiles at him. He nods back, effortlessly on cue, and there it is again, the sensation of breathing, finally, after too long without air. Something flashes through her and it feels huge, reaching for the man across the room, and he’s coming toward her now as if in reply, the blue stare unwavering on her face. What the fuck is wrong with you, Bristow?

 

“No, I’m afraid it will have to be tomorrow,” he’s saying into the phone. A pause. “Something’s come up. Tomorrow.” He pockets the phone. What are you doing, Bristow?

 

Enchanté de te voir, ma belle.” His mouth barely brushes her cheek.

 

“Kate Jones. Speak English,” she says softly, turning her face for the second kiss. No answer, but there’s the smile. He finishes by kissing both her hands, one after the other, his celestial eyes measuring and cool.

 

She looks back at him, trying for equilibrium, her memory always sharp where he’s concerned. An old adversary, her mother’s heir and favorite: a formidable man, under the smooth pose, all chilled down and thinking eight moves ahead of everyone else. But that’s not new. So why is her belly in knots?

 

But she knows why, knew the instant he took her hands. I’m insane. She breaks the contact but she’s overwhelmed. Oh, god, this is really dangerous. More personally threatening than any close call in Taipei or Paris, where you ride the edge of disaster on sheer nerve—and leave your failures for the locals to clean up. Get a grip, damn you.

 

“I saw you passing,” she says, dry-mouthed.  “If you’re not leaving immediately, I thought we could talk, catch up on things.” But she’s pretending, at this point: off the clock, protocol forgotten about ten deep, oxy-loaded breaths ago. Feel like going up in smoke today? Behind them the attendant’s watching. Smiling.

 

He’s silent for a moment, considering her. She knows she’s radiating—something; knows he’s feeling it. She’s travel-stained and tired. It doesn’t matter at all.

 

“Kate, darling,” he says. “You look hungry. My hotel has a decent kitchen. Are you free?”

 

She decides she is.

 

*

 

His driver meets her as she emerges from Customs, mysteriously sure of her identity. Mr. Sark will be returning shortly, would she care to relax at the hotel? Or wait, as she pleases. The hotel, she decides, and puts up the glass partition, tuning the man out as they pull away. He’s on the phone as soon as they’re rolling. Sark’s lackeys are always busy.

 

After ten hours in the air, she’s going to be an embarrassment in the lobby of the Mondrian, or maybe he’s at the Chateau; that’ll be worse. But they’re heading west, not east, taking surface streets. She’s too tired to care. And, somewhere beyond that, too appalled and much too focused on what she’s about to do. Why now, Bristow, for godssake?

 

Some sick little maneuver to make the split with Vaughn, finally? She won’t even have to tell him. She’ll be too guilty to look him in the face, much less touch him. And he’ll know the what, but never in several eternities would Michael Vaughn, Galahad lover, guess the who. She flashes on blue eyes, on hands sliding against hers, hears herself take a breath. What’s your mantra, Bristow? She unclenches her fists, looks at the red half-moons her nails have made.

 

It’s a short drive. They pull up at the portico of a small hotel right on the beach: Hermosa, and the place is new. When she used to surf here people got death threats just for mentioning the idea.

 

But things change. Right, Bristow?

 

*

 

The concierge greets her by name: Ms. Jones. Mr. Sark has asked him to say—you’ll wait? Delightful. Top floor, and do enjoy your visit. Trust Sark, she thinks. The hotel has a kitchen but no dining room and, of course, the entire top floor is his. The other half lives okay.

 

And it is, she admits, marvelous. Nothing but glass on the ocean side. His luggage sits next to the dressing room off the master bedroom. She looks around but doesn’t touch the bags. This will be an exchange, possibly the beginning of a cooperative arrangement. Freelancing works, sometimes. She catalogues what she’ll give him, what she’ll ask. Whatever happens after that, she decides, is none of the Agency’s business.

 

Pathetic, Bristow. Don’t even start. Anyway, she feels better, more in control, having organized it. And Vaughn? But she can’t bear that. She looks around, needing to move.

 

There’s a stairway from the balcony and yeah, he’s got the whole rooftop, too. Room for a Roman orgy. A lap pool and a Jacuzzi, everything. All of it walled off, with glass on the upper half of the barrier, ocean and sky the only view, and the gulls patrolling both.

 

She stares out at it. Even in the dry, hot breeze, it reminds her of things that were good, never tainted by what came after. Surfing, volleyball, running on the beach, in that life before she was Irina Derevko’s daughter.

 

She checks for electronics, finds none. She takes the steps back down, three at a time, hungry and suddenly desperate for a shower.

 

*

 

Lunch, and the allotment of courtesies that constitutes a negotiation of this kind. Information traded, the criminal for the classified, not so far apart. They eat red king crab, drink a cold, steely white from somewhere up north. Her hands are messy with butter, slightly bruised from prying the shell apart to get at the meat.

 

And she hasn’t been still since he arrived, apparently by conjury, freshly showered, hair wet, and wearing, for godssake, jeans and a T-shirt. Barefoot, as thoughtlessly elegant in that state as any other. He looks marvelous in white. She’s out of her chair as soon as the food’s gone, trying to be casual, checking out the view.

 

He’s relaxed, watching her pace—no different, really, from the man in the dark suit: cool and opaque even here, subtle amusement in his voice. The Agency’ll be pleased with what she’s learned. It’s just bait, she knows, but it’ll be good bait. Sark’s a class act.

 

She prowls over to the wall, looks out at the water; it’s dark and glassy, the offshore breeze smoothing the swell. There’s a congress of gulls huddled in the sand beyond the bike path. She presses her palms into the stucco of the barrier. Harder. Harder. Seduction’s not on the agenda; he’s already waiting for her, she can feel that. Entertained by her hesitation, no doubt. Make your move, Bristow.

 

Too late. He’s here, sliding his hands under her shirt, fingers spread at the curve of her waist, pulling her closer till she’s touching him. She gasps, taut as a bowstring, every synapse on fire. But he’s very still, studying her.

 

She has a hard time meeting his gaze, can’t even breathe. Manages, barely. Sees his mouth with its seraph’s smile, blue eyes smoked with lust and glittering with amusement. The breeze has dried his hair; the curling ends look gilded.

 

“Some things,” he says, “are simple,” He’s hard as granite against her hip.

 

He’s obviously done this a lot more than she has, if that’s what he thinks. If he moves his hands against her skin one more time she’s going to lose—he moves his hands, palms light and intimate against her belly. Her body locks, straining against him. She really can’t breathe. She hears his soft laugh. Bastard.

 

Just slow down, Bristow. Right, okay. Fine.

 

She lifts her head and kisses him carefully, keeping her hands to herself. He takes the kiss, following it, not letting her break it off too soon. Very shortly it’s not so careful, but she gets through it without actually drawing blood. Tastes the wine they’ve been drinking, hears him take a long breath. But he doesn’t move, she needs him to move. And the clothes. She thinks she can manage to get him out of those. Thank god it’s not the suit.

 

Her heart’s slamming. She’s breathing hard and wound tight as piano wire, and somehow the comedy of that last thought overwhelms her. She drops her head, hiding her face, letting him take a little more of her weight. But he pulls on a handful of her hair, gently, till she’s looking at him again.

 

Mmm?” he says, and beyond the desperation and embarrassment she feels like smiling for what seems like the first time in months. It’s no strain, suddenly, to look back at him.

 

“It was nice of you to change your clothes,” she says, a shake of laughter in her voice, and for an instant they’re conspirators, on the same side, and something flashes through the cool stare. He meets her kiss harder this time, hands sliding up her ribcage, down her spine, pulling her more roughly against him. Oh, god.

 

“Always go in with a plan,” he murmurs, and she laughs against his mouth. Another kiss, hungrier yet, and now it’s worse, or better. She centers herself against him and this time he does move, hands hard against her hips. Too fast, Bristow. But she’s got to get him out of the clothes. She pulls up his shirt, mouth still open against his. He saves her the trouble, pulling away, stripping casually for her, easy as breathing. Looking her in the eyes, still cool, still amused. She stops cold.

 

Real trouble here, Bristow.

 

How could she not have guessed. Of course he’s ravishing.

 

And now the real joke is, she almost can’t stand to look at him—smooth swell of thigh and calf, flowing from knees and ankles shapely as a woman’s; shoulders, heavy for a man so slender; sinewy arms, hips narrow and tense, beautiful, his erection jutting from a tangle of dark blond fur. His skin’s like cream.

 

She’s blind, swamped; the somatic response is overwhelming. She knows, miserably, that she’s a total fool. Seeing him so unexpectedly—she’d been seized by the simple, overwhelming urge for him, strong as a riptide, hauling her out to sea. She never actually took it far enough to picture what he’d be like, only felt the pull and followed him. And he’s dazzling—and she’s dying for him—and she can’t bring herself just to tear into him. But. Oh, god. She sees his slow smile, the challenge in his eyes.

 

She slams a hand into the wall, lets the pain clear her head; he grabs her wrist.

 

“No, no. Your turn,” he says, but she’s convinced this isn’t going anywhere at all. Everything hurts. His hand brushes the nipple of her left breast, pulling her shirt over her head; it’s like sandpaper against a raw scrape. She inhales on a near-sob, can’t help it. She turns away, wrapping her arms around herself. Feels him behind her, pulling her against him, undemanding, if amused. He knows what’s wrong.

 

Shh, Sydney.” She can’t stand it. She breaks his hold, shivering.

 

“Just—give me a minute, okay?” He sighs, tolerantly, takes her hand, leads her to the edge of the pool. He turns her toward the water. His bare chest is warm against her back, and she’s really afraid she’s going to hurt him in another second. Standing still is not an option.

 

“Hush,” he says in her ear. Yeah, that helps.

 

He reaches around and undoes the fastening of her jeans, slips his hands inside, slides them over her hips. She hears his soft laugh when he finds she’s wearing nothing underneath. She steps out of them with difficulty, legs cramping under his light, knowing touch. She feels him trail his hands up her thighs and the curve of her back, lift the hair away from her neck, brush his mouth against her skin. She shivers, a desperate, humiliating sound climbing out of her throat. He laughs again, letting her hair fall around her shoulders.

 

“In you go,” he says.

 

She steps in and it is better, after a few slow laps, the cool water unbearable at first but gradually narrowing the pathways to sensation, letting her think again. More or less. Not your best day, Bristow. She slips under the surface for a few lengths, grateful to move without her muscles knotting. Maybe I’ll just stay right here. One look at him and this will start all over again.

 

But she climbs out. He’s leaning on one arm at the lip of the pool, in the shade, drinking wine from the bottle. Watching her, calm, provocative, one foot in the water. Stunning. Gorgeous. She looks away.

 

“I seem to have left my manners in Cairo.” Trying for composure. There’s a line of pelicans skimming the water beyond the wall. She turns to watch. She’s dripping wet and naked, wants a towel but won’t ask. It’s warm enough without.

 

“Very flattering,” he says. “Have some wine. Beautiful Sydney.” She can’t look at him.

 

“Whatever. You’ve seen it before, right?” He chuckles. Bastard.

 

“Mm, Paldiski, yes.”

 

“And the video.” He’s quiet for so long she has to turn. The blue eyes are steady, still amused.

 

“Beautiful Sydney,” he says softly.

 

But she can’t really muster much concern, not even about bigger things—the sins he’s committed, the blood on his hands. He’s too absorbing; she needs all the concentration she can spare just to fathom his physical presence a few feet from where she’s standing.

 

The blond fur on his legs glints in the bright air. She’s transfixed by the arch of his foot, how it flexes as he stirs the water lazily. His ankle, shaped so sweetly, its enchanting line rising smoothly up to the muscled calf, bunching and sliding under the creamy, gold-dusted skin. The beautiful joinery of knee and thigh …

 

She’s aware of silence. Comes out of her trance to find him studying her, eyes half closed against the sun. The slow smile again as he raises the bottle to his mouth. Jesus, Bristow, show some fight, will you?

 

She considers him. Reaches back to wring out her hair, watching him watch her. He’s finished the wine. She saunters over, retrieves the bottle; he looks up at her through his lashes, her naked thigh inches from his face. Not to mention the rest of her.

 

—And it’s an amazing feeling, the sense of connection. She knows it as a phenomenon of single combat, a sudden precognitive awareness, telling you how your adversary will move. She understands to a fraction of a second the precise instant he decides to touch her. Walks away as he lifts a hand. He laughs softly, approvingly.

 

She finds a full bottle sweating in the cooler, open-mouthed. Setting down the empty one, she reaches impulsively into the container and scoops out a double handful of ice, scrubs it down her body, shoulder to ankle, inhaling at the shock, leaving splashes on the deck. It can’t hurt. She knows he’s not going to let her get very far without some sort of explanation.

 

She pulls the bottle out of the cooler and walks back to his side of the pool, breasts tight, skin flushed with the cold.

 

She’ll take the sunny spot, on the side adjacent to his. She sets the bottle on the corner, within arm’s reach both ways. She sits, decorous even if mother-naked, folding her knees, resting on one hip and one arm. She looks at him across the brief space separating them. Deep breath now, here we go. She says:

 

“Any questions?” He’s been looking very entertained by her little charade, but the essential menace of his smile returns at that. He rakes her with a buyer’s look, deliberate affront.

 

“Why don’t we start with the proposition that you’re not whoring for the CIA?” His voice is pleasant, as always, till you notice the arctic stare. But this one is easy.

 

“No.” She’s actually finding this mildly funny. “Wouldn’t work, anyway. We’re slow but not stupid.” But she’s distracted, starting to lose herself in theories about where he got those shoulders. They’re not broad and bunchy and cut, the way Vaughn’s are. They’re heavy and sleek, long smooth muscles all of a piece when he shifts an arm. He reminds her of her old surf crew. Maybe he swims. Maybe she should go over and push him into the pool, see what happens. He might shut up, at least.

 

His smile broadens. “But, Sydney, how unfair. I’m quite vulnerable, you know—haven’t I just proved it? Smitten. Besotted, I promise you. Ask me anything.”

 

She sighs, reaches for the wine, lifts the bottle and drinks, wipes her mouth. Reminds herself she’s feeling risk-tolerant today.

 

“Okay,” she says. “How’s Irina?” The melt-water stare ices over completely, his interest now tightly focused on nonessentials. Stupid, Bristow.  She sighs again, replaces the bottle between them. He ignores it.

 

“Would you,” he says softly, “like to ask her yourself?” Damn.

 

“No. Thanks. I can’t think of anything I want to talk to her about. Just now.” She tries his trick: the emotionless stare freighted with blunt intention. It seems to work okay. Some of the intensity fades from the blue eyes.

 

“I’ve already told you,” she continues, “I happened to see you passing. I may have been tagged myself—I should have mentioned that—because I was on my way back from an operation in Cairo. But it would be atypical. So, random kinks aside, nobody knows I’m here.” She leans to scoop a handful of water onto her thigh, smoothes it over her skin. Can we get back to the point, here? He’s watching her stroke a cool, wet smear down her leg. That’s encouraging. But:

 

“You know, Sydney, I’d hate to think of you going to so much trouble for such a little thing.” She’s got no clever answer for that. “However—gratifying—I might find it personally,” he adds, in case she missed the sarcasm the first time. He reaches for the wine. Good boy.

 

But he’s a professional. She’s almost forgotten what that’s like. He hands it to her without drinking.

 

She’s ensnared by the shape of his forearm and the potential in his hand around the green neck of the bottle. She takes it from him obligingly, drinks more than is wise, passes it back. He gets to his feet. The wine’s gone warm and the sun’s too much and, well, he looks like maybe he’s lost interest. The bottle goes back into the cooler. You and me both, she thinks.

 

What a freaking comedy, Bristow. All that half-naked prancing for thugs and creeps, and she can’t even manage to hook up with a gorgeous blond who probably does this four or five times a week anyway.

 

Did any man ever have a more beautiful ass? And my god, he’s just beautifully hung. She can’t help staring a little, sighing. He catches the look, damn him, and smiles sweetly at her.

 

“Oh, poor Sydney. Don’t worry about that,” he says, provocation like a splash of cold water.

 

Now that’s much better. She gives him a smile of her own, feeling her brain register the alcohol all at once. Or maybe it’s him. Maybe this will work out.

 

“But I like you like this, too,” she assures him, blandly. He tilts his head at her.

 

“Do you know, Sydney, I would have said you didn’t like me at all.” She leans back, snagging her hair on the rough tile, and closes her eyes. The sun’s finishing what the water and wine and jet-lag started. First time in forever she’s actually, finally, felt relaxed …

 

“Oh, sure,” she says. “Blue-eyed killers are my secret kick.” She’s not going to explain anything to him. Can’t, anyway.

 

“But only incidentally,” he murmurs.

 

She ignores that; too complicated.

 

“No, don’t go to sleep.” He pulls her up, heads for the shaded dais, piled like Cleopatra’s barge with silk and cushions. The deck’s hot and tilting, slightly, under her feet. “Time we were better acquainted.”

 

But she’s tightening up, the wine telling her that last note’s too much like a threat. She pulls up hard. Wait—

 

Sydney.” She looks back at him, instincts confused, ready for a fight. “Second thoughts?” He pulls her forward. “Convince me, Sydney.” The mockery’s right out front now, which she supposes is understandable. Given the circumstances. Don’t smile. She breaks his hold on her wrist.

 

Sark.” The name itself jolts her, through the wine. Remember who he is. But she lets the smile come. She’s awake. He is, too, she notices. “Third thoughts—maybe, you cold-eyed bastard.” It’s sort of true. There’s always been a taint of decadence to the man.

 

He shows his teeth. “I’m terrified myself.” Lying bastard. “More wine?” Laughing blue eyes. She lets him pull her down beside him onto the silk pile, as if this isn’t why she’s here in the first place. She doesn’t need more wine.

 

He lets her play, stretched against her while she browses. He keeps his breathing long and slow, moves to give her whatever square inch of skin pleases her. She hurt him once, and there’s the scar, among numerous others. She licks it, hears his soft laugh. Admires the slide of muscle under the skin. Tries her teeth. He hisses, then sighs, hands flexing against the silk. His breathing changes. He slows it again. She drags herself against him like a cat, marking him, humming low in her throat.  

 

He’s good with his hands. Doesn’t need a playbook. Enjoys himself, no hesitation—technique in spades. She writhes, can’t stay quiet. How does he know that? Oh, god

 

Kisses, all kinds, he’s demanding that way. But he holds her off, won’t let her get as far as she wants, his weight all the advantage he needs unless she really wants to hurt him. She complains in a low, urgent voice, no words.

 

“Impulsive Sydney,” he says. Hot eyes, cool smile. More kisses; he likes her mouth against his skin. “Ah she hears. But he’s holding back, damn him. She fights him, trying to break that reserve. Stalemate. God, that feels good—

 

He pulls her back to him as he kneels, leaning over so he’s close and hot against her. She fits nicely, splayed shamelessly for him, folding her legs back, her ass very snug against his groin, almost centered on his cock—but she doesn’t think she’s ready for that. He feels her resist, tightens his arms, distracted, murmurs in her ear:

 

“No, Sydney. Another time, maybe.” She can’t help it, she laughs, gasping. Feels him smile against her shoulderblade. “Quiet,” he says. Goes on with what he’s doing. Which is—

 

Wait

 

Which—

 

Wait, I want—She grabs both his hands, leans back hard, takes a deep breath—

 

“Wait. Wait.” Feels him go absolutely rigid behind her, too far into the moment, fighting for control. Hands holding hers too tight, arms straining, so close, so close—

 

A quick, hard breath, and another.

 

“—Bloody hell, Sydney.” He’s breathing like a runner, leaning his forehead against her back. She’s panting.

 

“Smooth talker.” And not very steady herself. God in heaven, that feels good. Maybe—

 

Feels him shaking against her. He’s—laughing? Feels his mouth against her shoulder. He bites. She yelps. Hears his low laugh again, on another gasp. His voice in her ear, a little ragged:

 

“Darling Sydney. What the hell?”

 

She pulls away and turns, crouching, to look at him. It’s why she stopped him: she wanted to see his face.

 

He’s kneeling, legs apart, thighs taking the strain of his weight. Sweat crawls down his belly. His face is vivid; there’s a fascinating tension in the curve of the angelic mouth and in the cobalt gaze. She reaches to the hollow of his throat, wets her fingers with the sweat gathering there, sees the blue eyes flicker. He’s looking at her mouth. What she says is:

 

“I saw you passing. That’s all.” She lifts her hand to her mouth. But he’s got her wrist before she can taste.

 

“Darling Sydney. Whatever you say.” Hurting her, grip too strong. This, she thinks. Yes, this.

 

And she’s back to the first sight of him at the airport, what happened when he looked at her: bolt of lightning streaking from her to him. And when he touched her: shockwave rolling back from him to her: You burn me. I burn you.

 

Her whole body’s electric, shaking with potential. She crawls onto him, winds her free arm around him. Feels more sweat tracking down his neck from his hairline, darkening the curling ends. She puts her mouth to his slick, salty skin, lost in him now, body to body, face to face.

 

“Skeptic,” she whispers against him, but he’s resigned the game, for once.

 

They fit this way, too. She’s arched hard against him, tasting salt and inhaling him, drunk on his scent: wine and sex and French soap. She’s spread over his legs, feet braced, her belly against his chest, wanting him inside, exigent, all that slick heat waiting for a reason. He throws his head back, takes a handful of her tangled hair as she pushes herself against him, inviting him in. He closes his eyes.

 

“Christ. Sydney—” his voice low and untuned. She looks down at him, half delirious, oddly moved by his reticence.

 

“I—” she answers, confession lost on an indrawn breath, and he takes her mouth, finally, silencing both of them. She lets her weight pull them down, her back against the twisted silk, arching up to him, demanding; he finds his way into her quickly, one hard thrust, his mouth heavy against hers. There’s the incomparable shock of unity, both of them gasping, and he moves the right way exactly, exactly, oh god, so each slow stroke draws fire from the precise center of her, straight up her spine and outward in all directions. He moves, she resists, and the pleasure’s immense. She moves, he yields, and it’s unbearable. It’s perfection.

 

There’s one more thing she wants, but it has to be now, now, now

 

“You—,” on a gasp, as he compels her toward release and she’s praying: God, god— “You—” And he looks down at her, breathing hard, unreadable even now. She writhes, reaching for him—

 

And he closes his eyes and gives her what she wants, lacing his fingers with hers and letting himself fall free, plunging into her, no more control—crying out, finally, as if in pain.

 

God— She moves with him, claiming him— “Yes—” Surfing the final shudders of his orgasm onto the first surge of her own— Please yes just a little more please—she hears his voice in her ear, still rough:

 

“Come on, Sydney, show me what you need—” But she’s almost there and he’s heavy and solid all around her, inside her, his drugged, incandescent gaze holding hers as she reaches for finality. His weight against her sends her over the edge, easy and sure; she sighs against his shoulder and comes like the tide turning, wave after wave after wave.

 

*

 

They lie together, his face against her neck, for a long time. She’s empty. Knows that something wants to grow from the moment, while she feels his heartbeat slow, but she won’t let it. Some acts are complete, have no sequel. She thinks of Irina, how this man connects them now. Maybe this is what corruption is, she thinks, the feel of his back like stretched satin under her hand.

 

But that’s not it. For a moment, behind her closed eyes, she sees—not Irina, but her father’s face. I know what he knows, now. She feels the cool breath of an ocean breeze across their joined bodies. The wind’s changed.

 

He moves, finally, kissing her with a lazy authority that makes her smile: once—twice—again. They disengage and she feels the warm track of all that’s left of the encounter down the inside of her thighs. No questions from him, but the blue gaze is clear now, with a speculative weight.

 

She kisses him in turn, letting him know she’s fine; gets up, feels him watch as she crosses to the pool and steps in. When she’s done a few slow laps she climbs back out. He wraps a towel around her and wrings her hair out for her. She hears his voice behind her:

 

“I’m flying to Bern on Thursday.” She’ll have resigned by then, she thinks. Decision-making at its finest. The feel of his hands in her hair is wonderful.

 

“Nice town,” she says. Rotten with dirty money. He turns her around to face him. The blue eyes are cool again, but that’s familiar too.

 

“It should be profitable. Even amusing.” He lays a finger, lightly, on the spot between her brows where the frown starts. “The aisle seat is free, as it happens.”

 

There: the feeling of something shifting deep underground, locking finally into place. Offer renewed.

 

She’s caught in the blue gaze, wishing he’d left that alone. Do I get to fuck you again if I say yes this time? Jack Bristow’s secret thirst for poison tickles the back of her throat. She feels so tired she could die.

 

“Blue eyes,” she says. Silence. “Thank you.” He smoothes a damp lock of hair behind her ear. She hears the surf sigh onto the beach, pushed by the new breeze. He kisses her, last time, cool and deliberate, soft and slow: punishment enough.

 

“We’ll call it even,” he says quietly. The gulls are crying, taking to the air now that the wind’s right.

 

“I have to go,” she says. He doesn’t answer. “You stay here.” She wants a clean exit, no sight of him watching her out the door. She thinks he’ll give her that. He nods, finally—and he’s out of reach again, unknowable and cold.

 

She gathers up her clothes and goes downstairs, dresses quickly, grabs the carry-on. In the lobby, the concierge tells her that Mr. Sark’s driver is at her disposal, but she walks up the street and calls a cab.

 

It’s getting late. The sunset’s extravagant; it always is when the Santa Ana blows. She wonders whether he notices things like that. The cab pulls up and she gives directions, wanting emptiness and quiet more than anything in the world. You can’t see the horizon from her place.

 

It’s just as well, she thinks. She closes her eyes against the red glare. It’s just as well.

 

 

[End]

April 24, 2003

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