Author: RPcrazy
Category: Doggett et al snark
Rating: G
Summary: Careful what you wish for.
Notes: This started off in the Doggett folder of TXF Official Site.
Episodes 1 � 4 Silence is Golden
All the XF boys decide to have a party � no girls invited. The usual crowd arrives Doggett, Mulder, Skinner, Kersh etc. There�s even a painting of Krycek displayed on the wall.. you know the ones that wherever you are in the room the eyes follow you?�well I digress..
All is going well. The Nascar racing is on the telly, Wagner is playing on the hi fi, all their guns are checked into the home office, where the Lone Gunmen are all playing Zoombinies on the computer. This�ll take them all night.
Then it�s cake time. Guess who should jump out but Scully all dressed in a genie outfit.
�Okay guys, you have 3 wishes.�
Looks of surprise gradually change to looks of realisation as they all huddle together whispering.
�We wish for a device that can capture and hold the �Billy Miles� aliens�. Out of thin air pops a giant U-shaped magnet the size of a door!
Well the collective looks of annoyance could grill a steak. Only 2 more wishes. They�d have to be good ones. The sounds of suggestions and disagreements begin increasing in volume exponentially over the next few minutes.
Doggett gets thoroughly sick of the discussion and exclaims,
�I wish you would all just SHUT-UP!�
SILENCE
�to be continued��
Wait for the next instalment of �The Damn Weird Days of Our Lives�.
Update �Silence is Golden� #2 ~ The guys are at Doggett�s for a party and they have been granted three wishes by Scully the cake genie.
While deciding their second wish JD gets annoyed and wishes they would just shut-up. Silence!
Meanwhile on The Damn Weird Days of Our Lives.....
Scully, filled with amusement, scoots off home and leaves the guys to try to get out of this big mess.
Reyes is waiting for her outside her apartment. They both decide to spend the evening doing sisterly things� (.I don�t have a sister.. what do sisters do? Then that�s what they�re doing! OK?)
�I wonder where all the guys are?� says Reyes.
Scully smiles and says, �They�re all over at Doggett�s. Wanna go?�
Simultaneously evil grins appear on both their faces. Equipped with wine bottles they head over to Doggie�s place.
It seems a little too quiet. They look in the windows to see the guys but no noise.
They slip in through the back door. Reyes can�t believe her eyes. All these grown men pushing and shoving and cussing each other in silence! Scully can�t contain herself any longer. In spits of laughter she explains the whole amusing situation.
�So there�s one wish to go?� muses Reyes. �I wish silence was really golden.� At that the guys all suddenly turn to statues of pure gold.
�.to be continued��
Wait for the next instalment of �The Damn Weird Days of Our Lives�.
UPDATE �Silence is Golden� #3: Reyes has the last wish that Scully the cake genie has granted. She wishes that silence is really golden and the guys all turn to statues of gold.
Meanwhile back at the FBI XF office a lone fly buzzes around, a stack of papers falls to the floor scattering pictures of Bambi with her cockroaches, an open drawer reveals Mulder�s mouldy sandwich from last Friday�. that�s not very interesting��
Meanwhile back at Doggett�s party, Reyes and Scully are laughing their heads off at the sight of the golden statues of their male work colleagues. They giggle and point at the facial expressions and cack themselves about how they could be all melted down and made into jewellery � they could be rich. As the hilarity of the situation slowly subsides they begin to realise what a boring life it would be without these guys. Reyes starts to become very concerned and even distraught at her foolish wish.
Scully all this time is smirking under her breath.
�What are you so smug about?� asks Reyes.
Scully exclaims �You silly nut, I�m a genie. I granted the wishes in the first place. I have the power to grant more.�
Reyes immediately exhibits a big sigh of relief and exclaims,
�What are we waiting for then?
Scully says, �Agent Reyes, you may have only one wish.�
Reyes looks perplexed, �Only one?� Scully nods.
After a moment she responds,
�Then I wish����
�. To be continued��
Find out the results in the next instalment of �The Damn Weird Days of Our Lives�.
INSTALMENT #4 �Silence is Golden�
In the previous episode�. Reyes is about to make one extra wish graciously granted by Scully the cake genie. The golden statues of her male work colleagues stand before her.
Ane now the continuation�
�I wish for��..� Reyes hesitates and her mind wanders. �A cup of coffee would be nice.� Both girls nod and scoot to the kitchen. They rummage around JD�s cupboards and find a pack of freshly ground coffee beans.
The wish goes on hold.
Scully thinks, �John�s a person after my own heart. No instant coffee muck for him either.�
Moments later they are sipping the hot, black, tantalising brew.
�Any bikkies in the cupboard Dana?� asks a contented looking Monica. Scully pokes around and finds a packet of Tim Tams (Do you have these in the US? They�re better than Oreos;) Half the packet has disappeared when they start to hear stirring from the other room. The commotion grows louder. They hear the TV go back on. Sounds like a rerun of �I Dream of Jeannie�. The hi fi is playing Powderfinger�s �Thrilloilogy� (my daughter told me to put that one in) Voices can be heard,
�What the �.?�
�What IS this!�
�This seems like a bit of pot-boiled science fiction to me.�
�Hey, Frohike, that Zoombini has spiky hair!�
The girls hot-tail it into the lounge room to find the guys stretching their limbs and looking very confused but quite normal again. No sign of the golden statues that they were.
Reyes peers over to Scully. One side of Dana�s mouth curls up and she says,
�Well these wishes were never meant to be permanent.�
Reyes does see the funny side but still exclaims,
�I wish this damn story would end!�
And it does.
**End music is playing to the rolling credits. Voice of the TV announcer says,
�This has been the last show in the series �Silence is Golden�. I hope you all are looking forward to our exciting series premiere next week of �Knitting� with Martha Stewart.**