This column appeared in The Mayon, the official publication of the University High School, Bicol University, Volume 34-35, 1979-1980.

 DAFT-inition

• Track and Field: An event where an athlete runs on a track and faints on the field.
   
• Idleness: When work doesn't bother to work.
   
• Snack: A rehearsal for a meal.
   
• Home run: Run away from home which makes points.
   
• Beauty Pageants: Contestants vie for the title of queen.
  
• Popularity Contests: Participants"buy" the title queen.
   
• Game: If it didn't make you happy, it sure made you hungry.
   
• Election types: Selection type, matching type, enumeration type.
   
• Others: A group of letters written when a writer thinks you know better than he.