(click to enlarge pictures)

The Norfolk Coast � Grey, gloomy and indescribably boring. But then, isn�t that the same of any British coastline? Doesn�t the incessant crashing of the dull, sewage tipped waves drain all hope from your miserable body, and seem to call quietly to you, hoping to entice you in so that you may spend your last mortal moments smothered by its powerful grasp?

No, it doesn�t. Well, at least not the Norfolk coast. For you see, as anyone who lives in this English county will tell you, it�s quite special. If you don�t believe me, then have a quick look at my recent photos, taken at a weekend away on the coast at a place called Eccles on Sea (half an hour down the beach from Sea Palling, as the Griffin flies).

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Here�s me, sitting on part of the sea wall. I looked especially pleased to be there.

A sensible beach user will always make sure he or she familiarises themselves with the warning signs...

...and then piss about by writing their name in the sand. This is not vandalism, but the 8 foot sand phallus made by a bunch of 16 year old boys was. Strangely enough I didn�t feel inclined to snap a picture of that.

Let�s take a look at that lovely coastline...

But wait, who�s this fellow rising from the murky depths?

Fuck a biscuit, it was none other than Cthulhu! As you know, this fearsome winged creature is dead but not truly dead, usually entombed in the sunken city of R'lyeh, a pre-human colony that was believed to have been swallowed into the sea millions of years ago. And there he was climbing the shores of the Norfolk coastline. Who can odds it?

I was petrified. Legend said that R�lyeh would come to the surface every now and then, and Cthulhu's dreams would influence sensitive individuals across the globe to depict his image, slay, and found cults dedicated to him. Now that he was free from his slumber, he would no doubt rule a world thrown into chaos and anarchy by his telepathic sendings.

Oh, wait. He just wanted to amend my graffiti. Very funny Cthulhu.
H. P. Lovecraft must be turning in his grave�