"The Foundation, in addition to making dreams come true for terminally ill children around the world, will now work with us to fulfill the dream of Indy racing for terminally undistinguished midwestern drivers who would otherwise never know the thrill of competing in a top-level series. No longer will the dream be confined to the talented or the Brandon Erwins of the world, no longer will a championship, a victory, or even a top-ten finish be considered a prerequisite for a seat at the splendid banquet that is Indy. No longer will drivers spend time and effort at their local dirt tracks to match Erwin's 14th place season points ranking before moving up to the big time."

In an entertaining presentation utilizing Thai shadow puppets, Lindsey explained how any driver could obtain an application for the program. Drivers will be required to submit an essay on the subject of 'Why I want to be a race car driver', and will be graded on sincerity, pathos, grammar, and proper reverence for IMS.

"This is the only hope for many of these drivers," reminded Lindsey, "and remembering what AJ has always said about the track making the driver and not the other way around, the League should be proud to have any of them represent IMS. Well, all except for little Al.
Man, that guy's really out of shape."

Representatives of the 'Make a Wish' Foundation seemed annoyed when questioned about their relationship with GomerTech, and denied having any substantive conversations with Lindsey or any knowledge of the IRL beyond that provided by their CallerID service.