Tony Stewart has long been an example of all that's right with the Indy Racing League. His humble dirt-track beginnings, success at (and reverence for) Indy, his disdain for right turns and his chosen career path would all seem to make him a prototypical Indy Racing Hero- so why is he making some fans uneasy lately?

"I always liked Tony," offered one Harold Webb Collings, "and although I can't put my finger on it, something about him just creeps me out lately. Ever since he hooked up with that Ganassi guy, something's been different. At first I thought maybe it was all of those right turns he made in Nascar every season, but I'm not so sure now."

Tony has accepted a ride for Indy with Chip Ganassi, who's notorious in midwestern circles for ignoring local dirt-track talent in favor of foreign-born road-race drivers, primarily F3000 and F1 alumni. Chip's succesful 2000 Indy program catapulted the unearthly and unnatural talents of foreigner Juan Montoya to the slimmest victory over a much faster Buddy Lazier, who, amazingly enough, actually finished first despite losing the race.

Chip Ganassi himself is puzzled by reactions like Collings'. "Tony's a hard-working kid. It's a new team environment for him, but he's assimilated quickly. I told him when I offered him the job, 'look, this is my team, we're all about the Borg-Warner, and if this is gonna work you're going to be assimilated, so resistance is basically unproductive', or words to that effect, anyway."

"I was assimilated," explained Stewart. "If I was to become part of the Borg-Warner, I knew it meant working as a collective, being assimilated into a collective organization. Besides, Chip get the best donuts."