|
Reif and Suess build Monkey Colony on Mars!
Tony George's visionary leadership stuns scientific community! |
|
|
|
|
Today former USAC officials revealed that Bob Reif and Theodore Geisel
launched the last in a vast fleet of tube-framed monkey boosters last Thursday,
completing the harrowing fourteen-month project.
"Mr. George's visionary leadership made this all possible", offered Mr. Reif. "He foresaw an impending shortage of potential IRL sponsors as the Earth's resources are inevitably exhausted, and took the necessary steps to ensure the future of traditional American oval racing as exemplified by the Indianapolis 500. The amazing part is that Mr. George was farsighted enough to initiate this project even before the technology necessary for safe human travel to Mars was developed, thus leading to the use of monkeys." The colony is home to some 35,000 Rhesus and 1200 Spider monkeys, along with approximately 650 macaques. When asked when construction of the simian spaceport would be complete, Reif would say only that the monkeys' training in the use of radio equipment had not been entirely satisfactory, and that no actual communication with the colonists had been possible at any time after launch. |
|
|
|
|
Second Bradley Team for Schumacher? Check out the Archives page for all your 'Murrican Dirt Tracker News! |
|
|
|