I caught up with Bob at Dancer's Showclub where Bob was enjoying a late night dance recitial by a woman named Trixie, his niece. They said they were in a hurry to go do last minute preparations for a surprise Christmas party to be held at one of the Hulman's Eagledale bungalows.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE HIGH POINTS OF YOUR FIRST YEAR ON THE JOB?

BR - Well Tippy, that is a tough one. My first year as Senior Vice President of Marketing was a total joy. I guess suckering David Suess of Northern Lights helped right out of the box in January. I promised David lots of air time, and those big blue superimposed company logos over the empty seats was my idea, a real boon for the search engine company. It certainly helped with the ABC deal, they are thinking of advertising some of their more arcane sitcoms in several of the stands in the upcoming season. In the past, those seats just created a major glare. This sends a strong message to the networks that even if we can't get fans in the stands to look at the cars, their logos look very cool in Godzilla proportions.

COULD YOU IDENTIFY SOME OF YOUR GOALS FOR THE FORTHCOMING 2001 SEASON?

I could, but then I would have to let AJ kill you! (just joking) My number one goal is to provide a level and........ Oh sorry, I forgot, you guys have already heard that. OK, scouts honor, my number one goal is to knock up one of the Hulman daughters and cash in on this IMS gravy train for life. How's that? We are always honest in the IRL.

THE 2001 SCHEDULE HAS A DISTINCTLY MIDWESTERN EMPHASIS, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY IT'S BEEN CONSTRUCTED THAT WAY?

BR - Well, Im glad you asked that. We put a lot of time into this plan. What we in the IRL did was take an exit survey of the fans at all our Midwest shows. We deducted this schedule by an average. We selected a 1985 Chevrolet Pickup truck with blown glass packs, and figured it got a solid 20 mpg without camper shell. We then figured in the price of gas, and came up with a 3 tank trip, or roughly $120 dollars. Now, If you can sleep in your truck, and you have a minimum of $120 dollars, you can come see the IRL. I did a little more than party at Oakland City College. This was all very scientific. We understand most all our fans are from the Indianapolis area, it was either this plan or charter three buses.

DO YOU FEEL THE SERIES HAS THE ABILITY TO ATTRACT NEW FANS?

BR - We have been testing our market, and come to the conclusion that we are on a time table. Most all our fans are in nursing homes, and this has been a weather vane for us in the Marketing Department. We have spent literally hundreds of dollars in advertising in places like MCL, Retirement Communities, Funeral Homes. A untapped market for sure. We have a great product.

THE IRL IS PRODUCING AN "INFOMERCIAL". FIRST, WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THAT FORMAT?

BR - Simple, I got to hang with some Hollywood hotties in my trailer. I did all the casting. We need to tell the folks just who is in the IRL, because unless they watch, I'm pretty sure they have never heard of most of these guys. Unless you follow Chilean Slot Car racing very closely, the talent in the IRL would escape you.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE FORMAT OF THE NEW INFOMERCIAL?

BR - Imagine confusion, tire smoke, a car sliding backwards into the wall.... then zoom in on the driver, who is picking concrete out of his teeth. We are letting our drivers tell the story. We will also include some of the more astute lemmings from the Internet, straight shooters such as Professor Joe and Ren Butler, guys who will give it to you straight.

WHERE WILL THIS INFOMERCIAL BE SEEN?

BR - Well, At Indy of course.

BOB, YOU DO KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHER RACES, DON'T YOU?

BR - Yes, I think I have heard something about this, I thought it was just a rumor, but the phone keeps ringing and some guys name of Humpy and France are bitching about the gate. Tony has yet to tell me if the other races are important yet.

DO YOU THINK THE SERIES HAS BEEN GAINING MOMENTUM?

BR - It's a series? Who told you that? I have to talk to Tony or AJ about this. No one told me it was a series of races, I thought it was a 2 weeks a year deal.

DO YOU THINK THE IRL HAS A SUPERSTAR DRIVER IN ITS LINEUP?

BR - Well, let me get back to you on that one, because I don't know who has been bought out this week. I will say this, we've got a couple of Unsers, we have AJ, and we have Tom Sneva in the booth. This fuels the bluehairs' desire to get off the oxygen bottle and go to the races. We have a woman driver in Sarah Fisher who has transcended the very sport itself. If we could just get her to stop crashing all the time, we could maybe harvest this media boon. It's rather a dicey situation, because she could get hurt, and that would make us look bad.

SOME OF THE IRL TEAMS HAVE STRUGGLED TO SELL SPONSORSHIPS. WHAT HAS THE LEAGUE BEEN DOING TO ASSIST THEM IN THAT SITUATION?

BR - We have been working very diligently, and this has been rather hard to overcome. I blame most of it on Robin Miller. He has done a really good job of bad mouthing the IRL since it's inception, it's a wonder we get any fans to the track. The negative press is to blame for all these problems. We have set up a crack team of salesmen to assist our teams in finding funding. The car dealerships right here in Indy were a virtual cornucopia of sales talent, low cost and we didn't have to move anyone into town. We have a few other irons in the fire: Joe's Welding in Moorseville is interested in being a lap donor, and I also heard that many, many dot com companies would like to float us some stock in turn for some advertising exposure. Its a win-win situation. Tony's Mom is getting rather tired of the negative bank statements, and was not too pleased in kowtowing to that Eccelstone fellow, letting him bring those foreign road racing devils into town for a Grand Prix.

THANKS BOB.

BR - You're welcome, Tippy, and don't mention my sister to anyone. I don't want to blow the surprise.