A Call to Arms
Throughout history, mankind has seemingly always had a stratified class sytem or hierarchy of power. There have always been those in leadership positions (although sometimes informally) who have exhibited qualities that other wish to attain or who have achieved a status that others envy. As cultures have grown over time and intelligence has been gathered, people began to subscribe to the thought that all people, regardless of race or sex are equal and should be treated as such.
There have been movements to free children from hard labor and dismal working conditions. There have been campaigns to free one ethnic group from the tyranny of another. There have been great wars fought to retain or gain independence from governments which do not reflect the views of the people. There have been issues involving slavery around the globe, some of which are still not resolved.
All these are truly noble and righteous causes which have been fought or promoted and have been accepted as positive steps in the progress of the world. I would like to present a discussion today that revolves around an issue that has been in the world news for the past couple of decades, and which I believe is of similar critical importance. The issue at hand is sometime a subtle one, while at other times is blatently obvious in our American culture today.
Exactly what is this pressing issue that threatens the fabric of society?
Yep, that's right. I hear you say "What do knights have to do with us?"
Absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. Confused?
Let me attempt to clarify...
Chivalry by definition connotates several meanings. One meaning is a gallant or distinguished gentlemen. Another applies to the qualities of the ideal knight. Chivalrous behavior is marked by honor, generosity, and gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women. As you can see, both definitions relate to how women are treated by men. Or, to turn the phrase the way it should be focussed upon, how men treat women.
This is not a discussion of women's rights or of the women's liberation movement. The former will be briefly touched upon, while the latter might be briefly referenced. Neither will be challenged as to their place in history or validity. What will be presented is the argument that men should be expected to treat women a certain way, and that women in return should recognize the men for what they are expressing through their actions.
It is my belief that women deserve every right that a man has. Many women have provided breakthroughs in technology, medicine, artistic expression, intellectual thinking, athletic achievement and political representation. The role that women have played and will continue to play in the history of civilization has been well documented and is recignized to be invaluable. The women's liberation movement provided a national stage where critical issues regarding sexual inequality could be presented and allowed the discussion of those issues to take center focus. The steps made through this movement are not to be belittled or underappreciated.
However, I believe that through certain participants of this movement, the behavior of men has been allowed to decline with regard to women. For example, prior to the women's lib movement, it was common courtesy for gentlemen to open doors for women, whether they knew the woman or not. It was expected that men treat women with great respect and dignity in public. It is known that in some instances this was only the public presentation and things in the home were quite different than they appeared. I offer no excuse for the men who did mistreat their wives at home, but in public they still kept the socially accepted, and quite honestly expected, normal behavior of the day.
Women seemed to understand that such small acts of kindness by men were not performed to display a superior role in the relationship, but were done out of respect and courtesy. Men played their part in this modern display of chivalry by actively pursuing ways to show women that they were appreciated, not only in the privacy of their homes but, and possibly more importantly, int he public arena as well.
When the women were finally being recognized on the national scale for what they deserved and for what they desired, things began to change. Some women began to no longer allow men to hold open doors for them. Some women began to promote the idea that these acts were subtle ways for men to flaunt or exercise their supposed superiority over women. It was during this time that men began to shy away from performing such acts of kindness. Some men would rather not upset a woman by opening a door for her, so they would simply not take the initiative anymore. It became easier to simply sit back and allow the woman to do it herself than to risk offending her and possibly receiving a public chastisment.
So who do we blame for this downturn in the treatment of women? Shall we blame the men or the women? Many articles have been written regarding this aspect of cultural behaivior and I won't delve into it here. It's the chicken and the egg as far as I am concerned. However, that being said, if I were to state my opinion on the matter, I would say that we should blame the men. The men should have stuck to their behavior, taken whatever flack may have come, rolled with the punches and come out on the other end completely justified and content with the fact that their actions were performed out of respect and dignity and nothing else.
So where do we go now? Is it possible to regain what has been lost? Is it possible to once again live in a society where such actions are not only performed with regularity, but are actually expected by those in the community? I believe it is possible. I desperately would like to see it happen in my lifetime. If men would step up to the plate and once again show their respect for women by performing little acts of courtesy, we would be well on our way. The other side of that coin is for the women to graciously accept these displays for what they are, and not to make them into something they are not.
If a gentlemen holds a door open for you, kindly thank him and walk through it. He is wanting to show you he respects you, so please allow him to do so. Gentlemen, we must wholeheartedly pursue ways in which we can display our profound respect for the women around us. It doesn't have be anything huge, just something simple and easy. Women, I ask that you encourage the men around you when you see them doing something chivalrous. only through a cycle of continued behavior and continued acceptance can this slowly become expected in our society.
The changes in social expectation didn't happen overnight and neither will this change. it will take determination and perseverence to slowly bring this kind of behavior back into the mainstream. Men, do more to show the women around you that you respect them. Women, allow the men around you to do so and, quite frankly, begin to expect them to do so. Such behavior from both sides will bring this reality around more quickly.
Will it happen?
I don't know, but I will die trying to further the cause of modern chivalry.
