Dear Valerie

HELP!

By Valerie Markva

Dear Valerie:

I saw your column today and need some advice on women - actually,
it is only one woman.

I am 36-years old and a Junior in college, majoring in Journalism.

I went back to college in 1997. Recently I did an internship at a newspaper
and met a wonderful woman, aged 31. I saw her from Day One, but was too shy
to ask her out. I was also aware of sexual harassment laws.

One day a few weeks ago I asked her where was a good place to get
food delivered for lunch. She said, "Why don't we go have lunch together?"
Needless to say, I was happily shocked.

Within the past few weeks we have had lunch quite a few times and I
think she likes me. We exchanged telephone numbers and e-mail addresses on
my final day when my internship ended.

I really want to see this woman. I was interested the first time I saw her,

but what move do I make next?

I am divorced since mid-July and she has been the only woman to
make me forget all about how my ex-wife hurt me with our divorce. I have a
3-year old son and normally women will look the other way, but not her.

What can you advise me?

Thank You,
Edward C.

Dear Edward:

It seems that she has reacted positively to your approach, and it
is a good sign that she suggested having lunch together. Although you have
not yet told her how you feel, she has been open to exchanging phone
numbers, which means she is open to getting to know you.

However, sometimes the fear of rejection can keep people from
expressing their true feelings for someone.

Are you willing to take that kind of chance? Remember: if you don't
give this relationship a chance, how will you know the outcome?

Because you have a son, you have to include that as an important
factor when you consider dating possibilities. It is a very good sign that
this woman is aware that you have a son and hasn't 'turned the other way.'

Don't let too much time go by. Express how you feel to her and
prepare for her reaction either way. If she isn't interested in taking this
relationship any further, don't blame yourself or look at it as a failure
on your part. Find out what her reasons are. Sometimes people feel that
they simply aren't right for each other, and this can be a good thing
because it will help you find someone who is right for you.

The writing philosophy "what doesn't work, helps you find what does
work", applies here and in all walks of life. It can be a positive
resolution in dealing with discouragement.

If an intimate relationship doesn't develop with this woman, keep
remembering that there is something better waiting for you around the
corner. And it is possible that perhaps she is the one for you, but you
won't know if she's that special someone until you tell her how you feel!

Valerie

Reader Suggestion for Frederick (in the last issue)

First impressions and looks are important. Make sure you are well
groomed overall. Feeling good about your appearance gives you a certain
confidence. And flashing a bright smile can be inviting.

M. Saginaw.

Thanks for your contribution. It is appreciated!
Valerie

If you have an everyday 'bother' or 'trouble' you would like to share with

Valerie, whatever your age or problem, write or e-mail her at:

[email protected] or care of Review Magazine, 318 S. Hamilton St., Saginaw,

MI 48602