I. Introduction

A. Illustration – A little girl was late coming home from school. Her mother was scolding here when she said, “But Mother, I was helping a friend who broke her doll.” “Did you help her fix it?” the mother asked. “No,” she said, “I sat down and cried with her!”

B. Context – Sometimes when it comes to love we can be a little too practical. We do for instead of cry with. But more often we tend to not be practical enough in showing our love. Maybe it’s because, in America, the word love is used for so many things that we’ve lost track of what it means.

C. The Greeks were a bit more clear about their use of language than we tend to be. We have one word for love – they used four. Friendships were described using the word (NEW SLIDE) phileo, and this implied a level of hospitality to others. Eros described a love that involved a desire to have or take possession of something. It was often used involving sexual encounters or partners. Stergo defined affection between parents and their kids, and also described the affection between an owner and his pet. I’ll let you make your own connections. Agape is the love that God shows us, and is used to describe a generous move by one for the sake of another. It is agape that Paul is describing in 1 Corinthians 13, so let’s read it together, and I’m reading from The Message.

II. Scripture Passage

A. 1 Corinthians 13 (from The Message) – (NEW SLIDE) If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy, but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. (NEW SLIDE) If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. (NEW SLIDE) If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. (NEW SLIDE) Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” (NEW SLIDE) doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. (NEW SLIDE) Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. (NEW SLIDE) But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. (NEW SLIDE) We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! (NEW SLIDE) But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

III. Love Is a Verb

A. There are some truths that we can glean from Paul’s writings to help us love others as God loves them. (NEW SLIDE) First, if you love someone, you will always be loyal to that person no matter what the cost. Romans 5:7-8 says, Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possible dare to die. But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. I have to confess that I have a little problem with this truth. I can handle sticking by people when they do something stupid, because I do stupid stuff from time to time. We all do. The problem is when they’ve hurt me, and then they do something stupid, and I’d really rather get even than stay loyal to them. We all have ups and downs in our relationships and we hurt each other, but (NEW SLIDE) God’s love is persistently loyal even when we hurt Him, so our love has to be persistently loyal no matter what it costs us personally. That’s what agape means.

B. Illustration - Illustration - Neil Anderson, in Daily in Christ, wrote, For many people, loving others is a nebulous concept. Fortunately, agape love is very clearly defined in the Scriptures. . . . (NEW SLIDE) Agape love is not dependent on the person being loved, but on the lover. You may like someone because of who he is; but you love him because of who you are. God loves us not because we are lovable but because God is love. . . . If you say you don’t love someone, you have said more about yourself than about that person. Specifically, you’re saying you haven’t attained the maturity to love him unconditionally. The grace of God enables you to love others in a way that people without Christ cannot. God doesn’t command you to like your family, your neighbors, and your coworkers, because you can’t order your emotions to respond. But He does instruct you to love them. You can always choose to do the loving thing and trust that your feelings will follow in time. (NEIL ANDERSON, DAILY IN CHRIST, EUGENE, OR: HARVEST, 1993, AUGUST 15TH DEVOTION.) If you love someone, you will always be loyal to that person no matter what the cost.

C. (NEW SLIDE) Second, if you love someone, you will always believe in that person no matter what the challenge. As I said before, trusting someone who’s hurt and disappointed us is a tough thing to do. But listen to Jesus’ words to Peter in John 21:15, after Peter had betrayed Him: “Simon, some of John, do you truly love me more than these?… Feed my lambs.” When he had a chance to defend Jesus and stand up for Him in front of the Sanhedrin, he chose to lie about their relationship. This definitely created a wedge between them, but Jesus was able to forgive Peter and expect the best from him. (NEW SLIDE) Jesus took on the challenge of Peter’s remorse and self-recriminations and enabled him to become a powerful witness for Jesus and a founder of the Church. We can do the same thing when we love with God’s love and believe in people nobody believes in.

D. Illustration - Illustration – John Ortberg quotes thiss sttory, author unknown - I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled speech. When schoolmates asked, “What happened to your lip?” I’d tell them I’d fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me. There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored—Mrs. Leonard by name. She was short, round, happy—a sparkling lady. Annually we had a hearing test . . . Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back—things like “The sky is blue” or “Do you have new shoes?” I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper, “I wish you were my little girl.” (FROM THE WHISPER TEST, QUOTED BY JOHN ORTBERG IN LOVE BEYOND REASON, GRAND RAPIDS, MI: ZONDERVAN, 1998, PP. 148–149.) If you love someone, you believe in that person no matter what the challenge.

E. (NEW SLIDE) Third, if you love someone, you will always expect the best of that person no matter what the expectations. As the saying goes, people generally live up or down to the level of our expectations. (NEW SLIDE) If we always expect the best from those we love, they’ll give their best. And if we expect only a little from them, we get only a little. Jesus had an encounter with Zacchaeus, who was a short tax collector who was thought of as the scum of the earth. Nobody expected anything good out of Zacchaeus, and that’s exactly what they got. Until Jesus arrived on the scene. He affirmed Zacchaeus as a person by going to dinner at his house in spite of intense criticism because He expected the best out of Zacchaeus. Jesus knew that this little man could change. How did he respond? Luke 19:8 – But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus gave Zacchaeus His best, and Zacchaeus responded in kind.

F. Illustration - Illustration - Carole Mayhall, in her bbookk When God Whispers wrote, It was a simple story, but one that caught my heart. She wanted to help, and so, because she was a nurse, she joined eighteen other medically trained people and journeyed to a poverty-stricken third-world country to help alleviate suffering by treating sick and injured people. After working sixteen hours every day for two weeks, the clinic doors closed, and, utterly exhausted, she headed toward the bus for home. Glancing up, she saw hundreds upon hundreds of sick and injured people waiting outside the clinic for treatment they would now never receive. She began to weep. “Lord,” she cried,” we haven’t even made a dent in the need. What’s the use? Have we done any good at all?” As she turned to enter the bus, a hand tugged at her sleeve. There stood a man she scarcely recognized. Several days before his face had been distended and grotesque from a number of abscessed teeth, his feet so swollen with edema that he couldn’t get on his shoes. They’d given him antibiotics, later pulled the abscessed teeth, and now he stood before her—smiling, pain free, with shoes on his feet. He smiled widely, thrust a small bouquet of flowers into her hand, and said simply, “Thank you for saving my life.” On the bus, she glanced out at the now-dark harbor as a single light came on. Then another. And another. Until the other side of the harbor was ablaze with light. God whispered to her heart, “This is how you helped—by treating My little ones—one person at a time.” (CAROLE MAYHALL, WHEN GOD WHISPERS, COLORADO SPRINGS, NAVPRESS, 1994, PP. 117–118.) IN view of all the sick and needy, Jesus could have considered Zacchaeus a lost cause, but He didn’t. He expected the best of Zacchaeus, and that’s what He got. If you love someone, you will always expect the best of that person no matter what the expectations.

G. (NEW SLIDE) Fourth, if you love someone, you will always stand your ground in defense of that person regardless of your disappointment. Luke 15:25-32 – Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he (the prodigal) came near the house… the older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him…”But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” The prodigal son was a major disappointment to his father and his family and many of his friends. His father loved him so much that he never lost hope that one day his son would come to his senses and return. It would mean that the father would have to invest more time and effort into his son’s life, but he was willing. His commitment to stand in defense of his son, even when he seemed to be a lost cause, paid incredible dividends. Yet this father even had to defend his son against his oldest son. But he still did it. And that’s what God’s love means – standing His ground to defend us no matter how big a disappointment we may be.

H. Illustration – Eugene Peterson, in his book Praying with Jesus, wrote, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). A most surprising identification card! Not “if we hold the right doctrine”; not “if we have membership in the right church”; not “if we work hard for justice”; not “if we are knowledgeable in Scripture”; not “if we diligently and successfully use our talents.” (NEW SLIDE) The only Christ-authorized mark of discipleship is love for one another. Is this the way others recognize you? Dear Jesus, you have showed me how to love you; you have commanded me to love; you are in and with me to love. Develop in me a deep, consistent and mature love for others. Amen. (EUGENE PETERSON, PRAYING WITH JESUS, SAN FRANCISCO, HARPER, 1993, OCTOBER 31ST DEVOTION.) If you love someone, you will always stand your ground in defense of that person regardless of your disappointment.

I. God never loses hope for us. His love is so great that He waits like the prodigal’s father for each of us to respond to His lavish, extravagant demonstration of love. (NEW SLIDE) God expects those of us who have already responded to His lavish love to do for others what He has done for us. Our willing response has to be to show His love to others. We can do that through openly befriending those who need it the worst. And we can do that through secret acts of God’s love on behalf of others.

J. Illustration – A song on a CD I picked up while on vacation keeps coming to mind, because it shows the truth of the need for us to show God’s lavish love to others. It’s by a group called Superchic(k), and I won’t play it because of the style, but I’ll read the lyrics. The song is called “Hero.” No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in, but with we feel like we do when we make fun of him, ‘cause he wants to belong. Do you go along ‘cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong. It’s not that you hate him or want him to die, but maybe he goes home and thinks suicide, or he comes back to school with a gun at his side. Any kindness from you might have saved his life. (NEW SLIDE) Heroes are made when you make a choice. You can be a hero, heroes do what’s right. You can be a hero, you might save a life. You can be a hero, you can join the fight for what’s right. No one talks to her, she feels so alone. She’s in too much pain to survive on her own. The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife, she writes on her arm, wants to give up her life. Each day she goes on is a day that she’s brave, fighting the lie that giving up is the way. Each moment of courage her own life she saves, when she throws the pills out, a hero is made. Heroes are made when you make a choice. You can be a hero, heroes do what’s right. You can be a hero, you might save a life. You can be a hero, you can join the fight for what’s right. No one talks to him about how he lives, he thinks that the choices he makes are just his. Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves, and others will follow the choices he’s made. He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide. His brother who wants to be him is just nine. He can do what he wants because it’s his right, the choices he makes change a nine-year-old’s life. Heroes are made when you make a choice. You can be a hero, heroes do what’s right. You can be a hero, you might save a life. You can be a hero, you can join the fight for what’s right. Little Mikey D. was the one in class, who every day got totally harassed. This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear. So he walked through the door, grab a .44 out of his father’s dresser drawer, and said, “I can’t take life no more.” And just like that, Mikey was lost. But this ain’t even about that. All of us just stand back, and watch it happen. We figure it’s not our responsibility to solve the problem. It isn’t about me. This is our problem, this is as real to any city, and we Christians just close our eyes, instead of doing the right thing. We can make a choice, be a voice, to those who won’t speak up for themselves. How many lives can be saved, changed and rearranged? Now it’s our time to pick a side, so don’t be walking by not wanting to intervene ‘cause you just want to exist and never be seen. So let’s wake up and change the world. Our time is now. You can be a hero, heroes do what’s right. You can be a hero, you might save a life. You can be a hero, you can join the fight. Our time is now.

K. Why did I read those lyrics? Because I was the kid who didn’t fit in. I was the kid who reached for the .44, except for in my case I reached for whiskey and Tylenol. Praise God we were out of whiskey! All I needed to make it through was kindness. All I needed was affirmation. All I needed was for someone to lavish God’s love on me. Those folks were few and far between, but thank God that there were enough of them that I made it through. I want you to understand that there is no condemnation in my words because I have too often in my life refrained from showing God’s lavish love because I get too wrapped up in my own pain. All of us have. Yet, like Peter, we have God’s forgiveness and His call to move forward and show His love. (NEW SLIDE) We are all prodigals, and yet because of the Father’s love we have second chances. Let’s make the most of them by lavishing His love on others every chance we get!

IV. Conclusion

A. If you’re willing to do whatever it takes to lavish God’s love on others, surrendering your right to protect yourself from the possible sting of disappointment and other hurts, please stand as a sign of that surrender.

B. Let’s pray together.