Empty, numb, and pointless...
A void with no end,
Yet a tornado of complex emotions
A numb state,
but yet it hurts so bad.
Like mourning...
In the past I made so many mistakes.
Hurt many others.
Brought chaos into their peaceful lives.
I even introduced addiction to my now fiancee...
I was the destroyer.
I couldn't even trust my mother or father.
Manipulation was the name of the family management game,
Peace I never had...
This lack of trust in life driving me insane
Then when they separated I was a pawn in their chess game.
How could I trust anyone?
If not family, friends?
Wrong!
They turned on you in an instant for no reason.
All my experiences taught me one thing... no one can be trusted.
I was twisted.
I was the victim.
All the mistakes I made in the past...
Wandering through my twisted... distorted path.
Coming to a present that is only half of what it should be.
I found love and a real family... but in a way I destroyed the rest of my life.
The atrocities I have committed weigh on my shoulders....v
The present seems in some ways so wrong...
My failures taking me down he wrong path in time...
Everybody's changed.
Everyone is different.
Parts of this place feels so alien to me.
Can I pick up the pieces?
And build something out of it?
Or am I doomed by my failures in life?
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