Like all of you, we ponder daily,
"Who will take Roy's place?"
Our investigative reporters have learned that in anticipation of such an earth shaking event, Roy has himself made arrangements for that eventuality.
20 years ago, in a secretive test tube baby laboratory behind the Matsukaze Japanese restaurant in Grants Pass, Oregon, Roy has created his successor, Mini-Roy, who will carry on all the activities of the regular Roy.
To guarantee the correct political indoctrination, fertilized Roy sperm was allowed to incubate in a 22-year old Anne Coulter where nine months later, Mini-Roy was born, complete with British accent. He has been sequestered this whole time on the Masters' ranch in Selma where he works as a minimum wage laborer.