House of Sanes
29 June 2000
Choo LJ
In rebuttal to the response of my most illogical but intelligent, unreasonable
but analytical, persistent but admirable friend Chung J to Hicken K’s
hypothetical accidental-cheese-in-bread scenario I respectfully submit that the
likelihood of this situation arising is extremely close to zero. I understand
that the probability of this event occurring is not impossible, however I would
hardly suggest, as my most noble and learned friend Chung J does, that it is
probable. On the contrary, I direct you to the well-known expression: “And pigs
might fly!” and I respectfully apply this phrase to the likelihood of the
scenario. May I also add that in the undeniably unlikely event of this act
occurring, it would constitute gross negligence and would no doubt be a breach
of health and safety regulations, rendering the manufacturer of the bread liable
to legal action by the consumers.
Further, I respectfully do not consider my most irrational but accomplished
friend Chung J’s argument to be of any substance. The so-called ‘reasoning’ of
Chung J in her judgment:
“My most logical and rational colleague Choo LJ exclaimed, "Are we
also to suggest that one piece of bread is also a made lunch?" I would like
to calmly and joyfully respond with an resounding "YES!"”
is clearly lacking. Chung J is yet to provide sound reasoning to support her
assertion that a single piece of bread constitutes a made lunch. Again I ask:
how is the one piece of bread modified or shaped after being taken out of the
bag of bread? And I await a satisfactory reply, with supporting reasons, to this
question. It seems to me that my most noble and learned friend Chung J has
avoided any supporting argument to her assertion simply because she can not
produce one. Respectfully, I submit that my most irrational but eloquent friend
Chung J can not provide proof that a single piece of bread constitutes a made
lunch because my assertion that one piece of bread can NOT constitute a made
lunch is undeniably true, but she does not want to admit it.
While my insistent but confident friend Chung J has constantly pushed her belief
that all things edible constitute made lunch, I remain unconvinced that this
definition stands.
With regard to the corn thin situation, I take the opportunity to point out to
the court that this manipulation of the definition of a made lunch is precisely
the type of manipulation carried out by lawyers in abusing our sometimes
fallible legal system.
May it please the court.
previous next