Baltimore Tools 2003: 4 � 9 (761.56) 14th Place
Baltimore Tools 2004:
Win Percentage: 0.462
Manager, Ad Sales Marketing, Hallmark Channel
BUT SERIOUSLY, I�D RATHER BE Same as last year ladies: Paid Commissioner of Retired Orangemen Fantasy Football
BIGGEST RIVAL Parker. No. Nick. Noooo. Jason. Yes! Jason. No� Scott. Wait, Gregg!. All of y�all. I want to beat all of y�all so badly. As a matter of fact, I just want 1 win� any win will do!
HARDEST PLAYER TO NOT KEEP Rich Gannon. The man is a hunk� actually, who says I�m not keeping him?!
PLAYER TO BUILD YOUR TEAM AROUND Michael Vick. The man is amazing. Hope he gets hurt again this year.
FAVORITE PLAYER Jevon Kerse.
SINCE THE SUPER BOWL Getting promoted and sending out my resume.
LESSONS LEARNED FROM LAST YEAR Winning isn�t as easy as it looks, and just cause you are the Commish doesn�t mean you can cheat and win. Cheating is soooo hard. Why is it so HARD?!? Also: Even though your girlfriend may not know anything about sports, she still can be very embarrassed when you go 4-9.
LESSONS YOU WILL BE TEACHING THIS YEAR Pottery.
IF YOU COULD HAVE SEX WITH� I wanted to say Lindsay Lohan, because, well, she�s the one. But since I write this damn thing, I know that Jay Cantor will say it 16 pages from now. So I�ll go with my backup: Judy Jetson. Mmmmm�.
MISC Writing this book takes months, not weeks. I hate you all.
2004 DRAFT KEEPERS
Laveranues Coles, WR
Edgerrin James, RB
